


Like Butterflies

by Fairylights4672



Series: Like Butterflies [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gallifrey, The Academy, The Deca - Freeform, The chapters are short that’s why there’s so many of them, basically it’s just them growing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 100
Words: 154,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22641067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairylights4672/pseuds/Fairylights4672
Summary: The story of The Children of Gallifrey, as told in the ways of butterflies.“What’s your name?”“Why do you want to know?”“Mine’s Theta.” She ignored his question. “Well, actually its Theta Sigma but you don’t have to call me all of that. Well- actually, actually, my real name isn’t Theta, but I don’t want to tell anyone my real name.”“Why not?” The boy’s eyes widened slightly in curiosity.“Because then they’ll know me. And I don’t want anyone to know me.”
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/The Master (Simm), The Doctor/The Master, Theta/Koschei, Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan), Twelfth Doctor/Missy
Series: Like Butterflies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1784377
Comments: 384
Kudos: 311





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Theta’s referred to as she in this Cuz I had to do it in my last fic. And I tried writing them as a boy and kept slipping back into the habit so I just gave up lmao  
> It doesn’t affect the story in any way just thought I’d explain lmao

Theta sighed, watching as the birds went by. She was lying on her back in the corner of the courtyard, waiting to be called back into lessons. 

Trying to make friends was tiring. 

She had tried. That was what her parents had told her to do- make friends and try to have fun. 

But nobody had wanted to be her friend. They’d said she was too loud, too obnoxious and too strange. 

Theta had never been called that before. All her friends back at home thought she was normal- they liked her. She couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just stay at home, with the friends she’d already made. 

A bird soared across the sky, free and unlimited. 

Theta wondered what it would be like to be a bird- free. With no responsibilities. 

Sure, she thought being a Time Lord sounded cool, but she’d still love to do whatever she wanted too. Theta didn’t want to have people telling her what to do. 

It wasn’t the way she worked. 

She sat up, and glanced around the courtyard. 

Everyone else had already huddled into groups, cliques that she couldn’t understand. It was like they’d always known each other. 

Making friends was hard. 

But that was ok. She could do this alone, if she needed too. Having no friends wasn’t the end of the world, and Theta was sure it would be fine. 

She frowned at the other corner of the courtyard. 

There seemed to be someone, crouched down with their back to the rest of the children. 

Theta cocked her head to the side, curiosity immediately getting the better of her. She jumped up, and wandered her way over to the figure as fast as her legs would let her without running. 

She frowned, stopping about a metre away. 

The figure was a young boy, crouched with his hands cupped to the ground. 

“What are you doing?” Theta asked. The boy jumped, glancing up at her. His eyes were wide, and dark. 

“What do you want?” He asked. 

“To know what you’re doing.” The boy frowned at her for a moment, before moving his arms back so Theta could get a better look. 

There was a butterfly on the ground, wings glittering in the orange sunlight. 

“It won’t get off the ground. I’m going to put it out of its misery.” The boy announced, and Theta gasped, pulling an arm out to stop him. 

“No!” She huffed. “It’s ok, it’s not injured. It’s just tired, all it needs is rest.”

“How do you know?” The boy frowned skeptically at her, looking back at the butterfly. 

“I have a book on animals. I read all about butterflies. This one is the orange blow-tailed monarch. And it’s just tired. If we leave it, it’ll be fine.” 

“You’re the strange one.” The boy sat back from the creature, instead turning to look her up and down. “You’re the loud one that no one likes.” 

“No.” Theta huffed. “I’m just..not as quiet. Nothing wrong with that.” She shot back defensively. 

“Everyone thinks you’re annoying.”

“Then they’re quick to judge. We’ve only been here a few hours!” 

The boy frowned, and nodded slowly. 

“I guess that’s true. You’re right.”

“I know.” She grinned, cocking her head. “What’s your name?”

“Why do you want to know?” 

“Mine’s Theta.” She ignored his question. “Well, actually its Theta Sigma but you don’t have to call me all of that. Well- actually, actually, my real name isn’t Theta, but I don’t want to tell anyone my real name.”

“Why not?” The boy’s eyes widened slightly in curiosity. 

“Because then they’ll know me. And I don’t want anyone to know me.”

“Why?” He asked again. 

“Because only animals know me. They’re my friends, so they’re the ones that get to know my name.” 

“You’re weird.” The boy frowned a little, skeptical and put off. 

“What’s your name?” She asked again. He thought about it for a moment. 

“My name is...Koschei.”

“That’s a silly name.” Theta smiled genuinely. 

“Well it’s not my real one. But only my friends get to know my real name.” 

“Oh.” Her eyes widened in curiosity, and Theta grinned, sticking out a hand. Koschei glanced at it for a moment, before shaking it experimentally. “Well we’re friends now Koschei!”

“What?” The boy yanked his hand away. “I don’t want to be friends with you! You’re the weird one!”

“Well they must think you’re a little weird, if they’re excluding you from their games as well.” She pointed out with a pout, almost offended. 

“No, I chose to not play with them.” He argued. 

“Fine then. I didn’t want to be your friend anyway.” Theta stood up, and the butterfly took flight. She grinned as it fluttered around her head, before disappearing into the nature around them. 

“It was just tired.” He murmured, eyes wide as he sat, stayed on the ground. 

“I said it was. I wouldn’t have said it for no reason.”

“Do you know more about animals?” He asked, jumping up. 

“Yes, I have lots of books. I brought one with me if you want to look at it.” Theta grinned, trotting off back over to where she’d left her stuff. 

Koschei hesitated behind her, glancing at their classmates, before following. 

The bell rang before Theta could show off her book though, and the girl pouted. 

“I’ll show you it later. If you want to see it.” She promised, pulling her small bag back onto her back. 

Koschei bit his lip, contemplating it as the children began to be ushered inside. 

“Ok. Just so long as you’re not so loud.”

“Why?” She asked. 

“Because I don’t like it.” He frowned.

“Hm.” Theta considered it. Volume or a new friend. She knew which one to choose. And she as sure he’d grow to love her obnoxious blathering- or, what was the start of her obnoxious blathering. “Ok! What do you want to look at in my book first?”

-

The two young Gallifreyan’s ended up spending all of their lunch time looking through Theta’s colourful book. The language was very complicated, and Theta only understood bits and pieces, but she liked the diagrams, and how smart she felt when she pointed out things to Koschei that he didn’t know. 

Koschei watched in relative silence, but listening intently and eyes wide with curiosity. 

“You’re very quiet.” Theta pointed out. 

“You talk a lot.” He rebutted. 

“Well yes, there’s a lot to say.” She argued, flipping the page. 

“Don’t you want to join in with the games?” Koschei asked, glancing over to where the rest of their classmates were playing together. 

“No. I think animals are more interesting.” Theta shrugged. “Do you?”

“A little.” 

Theta was hurt, slightly. But with a young mind and only a few emotions yet on the table, she couldn’t find the words to explain why. 

“Ok. Go on then. I’ll read my book by myself.” She shrugged. Koschei frowned at her for a moment, as if he felt bad, before getting up and wandering his way across the courtyard. 

Theta huffed, annoyed, and looked back at her book. 

It was fine, she didn’t need anyone anyway. She didn’t even like Koschei: he didn’t talk enough, he wasn’t interesting enough. She was sure they’d never get along. 

Theta was sure she was perfectly fine on her own, with her books and her imagination. 

She looked over the pictures the young girl had looked over many times before, tracing the gentle lines of a butterfly’s wing, and the elegant curve of the antenna. 

Theta thought she would love to be a butterfly. They were so beautiful, yet so fragile. 

Then again, she didn’t want to be fragile. 

She read over the paragraphs, bits and pieces making sense to her, but not on the whole. 

Still, Theta thought it was hugely interesting. She wanted to take a closer look at a butterfly, analyse the way it’s wings got it off the ground, and how it’s antenna worked as a mouth. 

The young child longed for the things on paper to be real, she wanted to be hands on. She could feel the itching under her skin to explore. Stuck in between four courtyard walls was already hard enough, and it was only her first day. 

Theta was sure there was nothing good about being at the Academy. 

“Is it ok if I sit here?” Koschei asked, and she glanced up, eyes narrowing. 

“I thought you wanted to play with the other?”

“I did. But I got bored. None of them were as interesting as you.” He admitted, shyly- but bluntly. “Can you tell me any more about butterflies?” 

Theta blinked at him, consideration lingering in her eyes. It cleared almost immediately though, and she grinned. 

“Well! Did you know, that butterflies aren’t only on this planet?”


	2. Two

“That was so boring!” Theta groaned as they were finally let out of class and into the courtyard. Koschei frowned quietly. 

“Do you think so? I thought it was very interesting.”

“That’s because you’re a nerd, Kos’.” She giggled.

“Says you! You’re the one that spends all your time reading.”

“Yes, but I only ever read about interesting things.” She corrected, sitting down in the corner like they usually did. Koschei sighed, sitting beside her. 

“I think history is interesting.”

“So do I. But Gallifreyan isn’t- not once you get past the creation. All time lords do is wait around.”

“What are they waiting for?” Her friend asked, and Theta shrugged. 

“If I had to guess, something incredibly dull.” 

“How can you know that? We’ve only been here for two years, you don’t know anything.” He rebutted, watching the other kids absently, as he positioned himself behind Theta’s shoulder. She cracked open her book on time travel where she’d left it. 

Theta loved being able to read now. She loved the feeling it gave her. As if she were free to go wherever she wanted, whenever and however she pleased. 

It felt as if she were in the wind, blowing with no real intent but the peacefulness of the certainty of nature taking her where she wanted to go. 

Like a butterfly. 

Fleeting, but burning bright. 

“I know lots of things.” Theta rebutted. “Like I know, that Rethra is going to get a really nasty shock when she sits back down in class.” The girl hid her wicked grin with the side of the book, as Koschei frowned at her deeply. 

“Why did you do that?”

“I was angry.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I heard her saying some really mean things about you.”

“But she’ll think it’s me.” He tried helplessly. 

“No! I’ll tell her it was me.”

“Then you’ll get in trouble with the headmaster.” Koschei pointed out. “You shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

“Well it’s too late now!” The young girl said with a bold grin. “Besides, it’s only my second strike this year.”

“You shouldn’t have any strikes.”

“You’re such a teachers pet, Kos.’” Theta rolled her eyes, nudging her precarious friend lightly. 

And it was precarious. Currently standing, Koschei was her only friend, but they fought often, over Theta’s habit of breaking the rules. 

Koschei liked order, liked predictability and routine. Theta was none of those things. 

Still, their fights were childish, as the children they were, and never lasted more than a day. They’d sleep, and come back, and it would be like nothing had happened. 

Still, Theta would have preferred not fighting with him. 

Really, she just wanted him to appreciate all that she did for him. Theta would never admit it, but she thought Koschei was amazing. 

He was easily the smartest person she’d ever met, and the most put-together. She wanted to show off, prove to him that she could actually not be annoying all the time. 

She was sure Koschei never noticed though. 

He was always drawn in another direction, towards Lareth. 

Lareth was top of their class, as put together and reserved as Koschei was, and always dressed appropriately. She had long, perfectly styled, blond hair, large blue eyes and an air of elegance Theta would never manage. 

“Question.” She sighed a little. 

“Hm?” Koschei glanced at her, pulled out of his daze. Theta was a little bummed he hadn’t heard her stellar insult. 

“Why don’t you just talk to Lareth? She probably thinks it’s dead creepy, you staring at her every lunch.”

“It’s not that easy, Theta.” He shook his head, turning back to focus on the page in front of them. “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never been in love.” 

She frowned at him. 

“You’re not in love. You’re ten!”

“Yes I am. I know it.” He argued. “You don’t know what it feels like.”

“How do you know?” Theta frowned. Koschei looked over her face for a moment, trying to find a crack in her expression. 

“Because you’d tell me if you did, wouldn’t you?”

She paused, and shot her gaze down to her book. 

“Mhm.” 

-

They went down to the river that day. Theta liked the river, it was peaceful and thriving with all different types of life. 

She kicked off her shoes and waded knee deep into the water, watching the wildlife live, as it swam past her feet and made her feel inconsequential. 

Theta enjoyed that feeling- like she didn’t matter to the universe. It put her into the bigger picture, as if she’d been inserted into an ecosystem. She loved to think like that. Like she was apart of something so beautiful- a natural phenomenon. 

Koschei sat on the bank, watching her and prodding a stick into the ground. 

Her friend didn’t agree with her. He didn’t want to feel inconsequential. Koschei was sure he was meant for great things, that he had a lot to give to the world, and wanted to be recognised for it. 

Theta agreed, she knew Koschei could do amazing things. She just didn’t understand wanting recognition. 

For someone so loud and boisterous, Theta didn’t really want people regarding her as much more. She didn’t like attention, didn’t know how to take compliments, and still only had one friend. 

Still, she was sure that was just age, and that she’d grow out of it eventually. 

“Why do you stand there?” Koschei asked. “Doesnt all the algae get in your toes?”

“Yeah, that’s why I like it.” She grinned. 

“You’re really weird, Thee.’Koschei flopped back onto the bank to look at the sky. 

“I heard you the three-hundred and second time you said it.” She rolled her eyes, picking her way carefully out of the river and flopping down next to her friend. 

“Have you ever thought about going up there?” Koschei asked. 

“To the sky?”

“Yeah.”

“Like going up a really tall building?” 

“No,” he rolled his eyes. “Like, off this planet. To the stars. Don’t you wonder what’s out there? Past Gallifrey?”

“I suppose, yeah.” She nodded. “But I thought we’ll do all of that when we’re time lords.” 

“Well yeah, we will, but wouldn’t it be fun to do it now? Before all those years where we have to study it?”

“You’re right, studying it will make it boring.” Theta agreed. 

“Look what we have here.” A sneering voice came from the other bank, and Theta raised her head to see who was there. 

It was Torvic. He was the oldest in their year, and he had the height to prove it. Because of his general swagger- or the fear he evoked in others, he’d quickly become popular as well. 

Behind him, stood a few others, including Lareth. The rest of them looked fairly uncomfortable, like they wanted no part of the inevitable teasing. “It’s space boy and arthropod girl.” 

“Butterflies are insects actually.” Theta sat up, Koschei following after a moment of hesitation. “But you’d know that if you knew how to read.” 

There was a snigger behind Torvic. He didn’t seem to take it well. 

Scowling at her, he stepped towards the edge of the bank, and Theta raised an eyebrow. 

“I know how to read.” He snapped. “Besides, what good is reading if you don’t have friends?” 

“You must not have heard the saying ‘knowledge is power’ then.” Theta shrugged. “Then again, can’t blame you if you don’t know what words are.” 

“And they’re not your friends, Torvic.” Koschei added, more apprehensively than Theta. “They only follow you around because you scare them.”

“So what?” The taller boy scoffed. “I assume you two are above all of us then? Because you read books, and only have each other. Well I’ve got a news flash for you two,” he leant forward, rather menacingly. Theta wouldn’t admit it though. “No one likes you. You’re weird, and boring, and you’re never going to make good time lords.” 

He stalked away, before his anger got the best of him, she assumed. His entourage followed nervously. 

Theta sighed, shaking it off. 

Torvic’s teasing didn’t bother her really, she had thick skin. It seemed to bother her friend though, who huffed and flopped back into the grass. 

She watched, as he threw an arm over his eyes. 

“He’s right, no one likes us.” He muttered. Theta lay back, glancing at him with a hopeful smile that he couldn’t see. 

“I like you.” 

“I know.” He mumbled. “But Lareth doesn’t.” 

Theta suppressed a sigh. 

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s just too shy to say it.”

He pulled his arm off just enough to glance at her through one eye, a small smile on his lips. 

“You’re such an idealist Theta.” 

“Maybe you’re not enough of an idealist.” 

“Sure. Maybe.” 


	3. Three

“Hey, Koschei!” 

Theta and Koschei turned on their heels, glancing to see Lareth coming towards them. Three years later, as they began to mature, she was the epitome of elegance and poise.

Koschei had only fallen harder. 

Theta watched on, hugging her new book close to her chest, as Koschei smiled nervously. 

“Yeah?”

“I- I was wondering if you wanted to..hang out at some point? Like now- or- or after hours? You don’t have too, obviously. I just thought- it would be nice.” She quickly added. Koschei’s eyes widened, and he nodded readily. 

“Yeah! That sounds great! I can do now if you’d like.” He seemed to check himself, glancing at Theta. “Is..is that ok, Theta?” 

She smiled widely. 

“Sure! Go ahead!” 

“Thanks.” He smiled bashfully. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye.” She turned on her heel, smile dropping from her face as she walked away alone. 

Theta was happy for her friend, she really was. But it had always been just her and Koschei together, for five years now. 

She didn’t want some stupid girl getting in the way.

Theta kicked a stone at a wall as she made her way over to the corner of the courtyard, still hugging her book on stars close to her chest. 

She didn’t like Lareth. She was too pretty, too elegant, too smart and too kind. She was everything Koschei liked and everything Theta could never be. 

Theta didn’t like wearing skirts, or sitting with her legs crossed. She didn’t like standing by and watching games, she liked to join in. She didn’t like sitting by the river, she liked wading in and trying to catch frogs on her hands and knees. She didn’t like politely smiling, Theta would snort with laughter if Koschei told a funny enough joke. 

Something about Lareth set her teeth on edge. She was too perfect. 

Theta huffed, sitting down and opening her book. 

She’d got it after Koschei had become interested in stars, and space. It was a nice change for him to point things out, and explain planets and nebulas to her. 

She liked the way he used his hands when he talked, and it was as if she could almost see what he was describing in the way he used his voice. 

Theta flipped over the page, and tried to read a little. It wasn’t interesting though, and she kept reading over words without taking them in and having to go back. 

She sighed, shutting the book and deciding it wasn’t fun when Koschei wasn’t there. 

Still, she didn’t want people to see her sat alone, looking sad, so Theta jumped up, deciding to get up and look for insects. 

Skirting around the edge of the courtyard however, she didn’t find much. 

Theta sighed, watching the other kids play and chat together. Drumming her fingers against her book, she decided to wait for the call back in. 

It wasn’t the end of the world if she looked slightly out of place for a little. 

Then, she had what she thought was a rather marvellous idea. Theta decided she would put her book back in her bag, back in the classroom. 

And if she caught a glance at Koschei and Lareth, that would only be coincidence. 

She slipped back inside, wandering through the empty corridors towards their classroom. 

Theta dropped behind a door to avoid a teacher- they weren’t really supposed to stay inside at break, but the teachers had seemed to make an exception for Lareth, who had never caused any trouble in her life. 

She stepped back into the cloakroom, slowly putting her book back and trying to sneak a peak round the corner at her friend. 

They were sat next to each other on a table, book between them and shoulders smushed together. 

It made Theta want to gag. The girl scrunched up her nose, rolling her eyes and turning to start the long and boring trek back outside. 

“Ah!” A shriek from the room behind her turned Theta on her heel. “Kill it! Kill it!” 

The young blond wheeled around the corner. Lareth was stood on a chair, pointing and shrieking at a rather beautiful sand beetle that had crawled onto the table. 

It was bad enough that she was ordering it’s death, and even worse that Koschei was about to go through with it, grabbing ahold of the book and raising it. 

“No!” Theta bolted across the room, grabbing the underside of the book as Koschei brought it down. 

They made eye contact for a moment, and she could tell her hurt was tangible on her features. Koschei’s eyes widened slightly, as if he’d realised what he was about to do, and he stepped back, dropping the book back on the table. 

Theta tore her eyes away from her friend, scowling at Lareth, before gently picking up the sand beetle. 

“Thee..” Koschei mumbled. 

“Save it.” She glared at him, before stalking out of the room, the small animal cupped delicately between her hands. 

-

Theta went down to the river alone that day, sitting with her feet in the river, as she prodded the dirt around her with a stick.

The girl was hurt, and quite frankly furious with her friend. The fact that he seemed perfectly willing to throw away all morals and everything that represented their friendship in the first place, just for some stupid girl, made Theta feel like their friendship wasn’t important. 

She scowled at nothing in particular, hot tears clouding her vision. Theta wasn’t one to cry, but she couldn’t help it. She felt betrayed. 

There was a small rock beside her. Picking it up, she threw it across the brook, before scrunching up her sleeve and wiping her nose on it. 

“Theta..?” Came a voice between her. Theta’s scowl only worsened, and she didn’t turn around. The girl took a breath in and swallowed, determined not to let her voice wobble. 

“Go away Koschei.” She muttered. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled behind her. Theta pushed the stick hard into the ground. 

“I said go away.” 

“Come on, Theta. Please.” 

The stick snapped. 

“Go away!” She turned to face him, eyes wet and hurting with anger. 

Koschei’s eyes widened, and regret fell on his face. 

“You’re upset.”

“Yes. I am.” She snarled, turning back to the river and pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“I just thought you were just angry.”

“I am angry.” Theta snapped. Movement came from behind her, but she didn’t say anything as he sat beside her, leaving enough room between them to let her know he was willing to give her space. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “Is this really all about a beetle?”

“Of course it’s about a beetle!” She snapped, eyes furious as she scowled at him. “You had no right to do what you were going too.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I just got caught up. Lareth was scared.”

“I don’t care about Lareth.” Theta said shortly. It was harsher than she’d meant it to be, but she didn’t regret it. “We’ve been friends for five years. We‘ve learnt all about these amazing creatures together. You told me you thought the sand beetle was one of the prettiest things you’d ever seen. And then you throw it all away for a girl.”

“Are you asking me to choose between the two of you?” Koschei asked, and Theta scowled at him even more, if that was possible. 

“No.” The words were dark, and the girl was almost afraid of how angry she was at him. “I don’t care that you like Lareth, and I don’t care that you want to spend time with her. I care that you were so willing to discard your morals just because she told you too.” 

Koschei watched her face for a moment, eyes glancing over her features as they settled slightly, and Theta looked back towards the water. 

“You shouldn’t have to stop being who you are, for a girl.” She muttered, voice calmer as she took a few deep breaths. 

He was silent for a while. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise to me, apologise to that poor beetle.” She murmured, pulling what was left of the stick out of the ground. Koschei shuffled back over, a little closer. 

“But I want to apologise to you. I didn’t have the right to hurt it, and I didn’t have the right to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me.” Theta lied. Koschei nodded a little. 

“Ok. I believe you.” They sat in silence for a moment, before Koschei hesitantly wrapped his arms around Theta’s shoulders. 

They didn’t hug often. Neither of them were particularly touchy- Theta wouldn’t let anyone touch her besides him. Still, it was nice, and helped to calm her anger just a little. 

“You’re my best friend Thee.’ And I promise I’m not going to give that up for a girl.” 

She sighed, putting her head on his shoulder after a moment of hesitation. 

She saw a butterfly across the brook, as it settled on a blade of grass. 

Momentary, but perfectly balanced. 

“Ok.” She mumbled. “I believe you.” 

-

A week later, Koschei met her in the morning, looking rather apprehensive, and like he was trying to contain his excitement at the same time. 

“What’s that look for?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“I have news. But I don’t want it to change anything between us.” He explained, falling into step with her. 

“Go on.” Theta frowned skeptically. 

“Lareth and I..are..dating.” He explained nervously. Theta stopped in her tracks, frowning at him. 

“But you’ve only been talking for a week.”

“Well yeah..but we’ve both liked each other for years, so we thought, let’s just go for it!” He grinned. 

Theta didn’t know what to say. 

She wasn’t upset. But she wasn’t happy either. 

“Well..that’s great Kos. I’m happy for you.” She said genuinely. 

“Thanks Thee.”

“Are you going to spend all of your time with her now?”

“No. I’m going to split it. We’re going to spend some time with each other, and some time with our friends.” 

She felt like pointing out that the difference was, Lareth’s multiple friends wouldn’t be lonely without her, but she knew that would be selfish.

“Ok. When are you going to hang out with me?”

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll pass you a note in class.” 

“Ok.” She nodded, the two of them stepping into the cloakroom to shrug off their robes and hang up their bags. 

“Kos!” A feather light voice drifted through the door, and in skipped Lareth, golden hair flowing around her like a halo. 

“Good morning Lareth.” Her friend smiled, and Theta rolled her eyes at her bag. 

Koschei never smiled that much. It was sickly sweet, and hurting her stomach. 

“You look beautiful.” He mumbled. She giggled. Theta grabbed the pen she’d found on the floor (she’d lost her stationary on her second day), and her rather beaten up work book, and turned to walk into the classroom. 

“Theta,” Lareth’s soft voice called after her, and she looked over her shoulder. “I’m sorry about the beetle. Just..never was a fan of insects.” 

“Doubt they’re a fan of you either, but you don’t see them demanding your death.” She said, in a tone sweeter than usual. Lareth laughed a little awkwardly, glancing between Theta and her new boyfriend. Koschei shot her a pleading look. 

“Well, you never know. Maybe we just can’t hear them.” She smiled a little. 

“You might if you listened.” Theta disappeared into the classroom. 


	4. Four

Word spread fast at the lower academy, and for a moment it seemed like Lareth was going to be kicked out of her group, and cast aside as an outsider. 

However, the opposite happened. 

Koschei was talked to in class. People laughed at his jokes, told him how funny and smart he was. They made the offer to let him join in on the games they played, asked if he wanted to hang out with them after hours. 

Almost amazingly though, Koschei stayed true to his word. And a year into their relationship, nothing had changed between him and Theta. 

She was left alone more often, but she insisted she didn’t mind, no matter how many times he apologised and told her to try and make new friends. 

But he hardly ever took up the offers to hang out with others, instead choosing to read with Theta, or talk with her about life’s questions by the river. 

She was eternally grateful, but she’d never say that. 

Because Theta would never admit that she was lonely. 

Not on the whole, Koschei was there too often. But sometimes, when it got quiet and she had no one to babble too. 

Still, she couldn’t say that. She’d never seen Koschei happier. Lareth seemed to bring out the best in him- besides the beetle moment which no one talked about, and he had seemed to come out of his shell a bit. 

Not entirely, not by a long stretch. And he certainly wasn’t confident. But he smiled more often, laughed more often. 

It was one of these days, where Koschei was off, laughing and smiling with Lareth she assumed, when Theta took a walk. 

She’d gotten bored of her homework, and was procrastinating. It had gotten harder now Koschei didn’t sit with her and force her to keep going. 

So she wandered towards the river, hands in her pockets and watching the suns set. 

Theta was bored of lower academy already, and she still had another sixteen years to go. 

But she longed to be free from the courtyard, have to travel to each class, and she longed to mature. She longed to understand the big questions and she wanted to be treated like an adult- like someone who had opinions, and was smart. 

Theta longed to do things without help- wanted to be full on and hands on in everything, exploring the world by touch and being allowed to do that. 

Theta frowned, pulling herself out of her daze as she spotted movement at the brook. 

She wandered quietly- Theta was good at silent when she wanted to be, and watched from afar, squinting a little to get a better view. 

Torvic seemed to have Lareth backing up, the girl clearly scared and overwhelmed. A small part of her wondered where Koschei was and if he was ok, as Theta slipped through the grass and to the bank, ending up a few metres away from Torvic’s back. 

“You really thought you could make out with one of those weirdos, and he’d be accepted? What are you trying to do? Ruin our reputation?” 

“Koschei’s not what you think he is.” Lareth argued quietly, head down towards the ground. “I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again. He’s sweet, and kind. He’s not weird.”

“Yes. He is. That’s all he is. And don’t you think, even for a second, that I’ll let you bring him into what we have. This has gone on too long. I could destroy you.”

“My friends aren’t that image-obsessed.”

“I could leave you with no one, Lareth. Don’t test me.” The older boy growled, and the girl shrunk in on herself, clearly intimidated. 

It made Theta’s blood boil. Sure, maybe she didn’t like Lareth, but she hated Torvic even more. She hated how much he scared others, and if she was honest, Theta really didn’t think Lareth deserved that. Deep down. 

So she stalked the few metres towards him, Lareth catching sight of her and her eyes widening. 

“Lareth?” A voice came from the other side of the brook, but Theta didn’t have time to process it before swinging Torvic around to face her, and throwing a punch square to the jaw. 

It was enough to send the larger boy sprawling along the bank, and Theta stepped back, getting ready to swing another one as he stumbled up, raging like a bull. 

“Why you-“

“Stop!” Koschei was suddenly between the two of them, holding an arm out to keep them away from each other. “Both of you, just stop.” 

“Get out of my way, shrimp.” Torvic spat. 

“Do you wanna try it again?” Theta demanded, fist up and ready. Koschei grabbed her wrist, yanking it down. 

“Theta! Stop.” He hissed. 

“He was asking for it.” She argued. 

“What in Rassilon’s name is going on here?” 

The voice made her stomach drop. 

That, was not good. 

She was in trouble. 

-

Theta got a weeks afterhours-less, and a fourth strike on her record that year. 

Torvic got his sixth strike. 

Koschei and Lareth came out unscathed. 

Theta was stalking back towards her dorm, furious. She couldn’t believe she had a weeks extended work. It wasn’t fair. She’d only been doing what was right. 

“Theta!” A voice called after her. The girl sighed, frustrated and not really wanting to deal with a scolding right now. Still, she waited. 

Koschei marched over, frown set deeply between his brows. 

“Why did you do that?” He demanded. 

“I told you. He was being Torvic.”

“Lareth told me you were defending her.” He threw out into the space between them. Theta glanced at it, before picking it up with a shrug. 

“I didn’t mean too. Was just a side affect I guess.” She turned away. 

“You punched Torvic in the face for my girlfriend.” He stated, almost in disbelief. 

“Yes, Kos. I’m not a terrible person.”

“You don’t like Lareth.” He followed her across the grass towards the dorm building. 

“No. Doesn’t mean I don’t have a moral compass.”

“And I suppose punching comes before asking him to stop on that compass?” He quipped. 

“It does when being an asshole comes before being born.” 

“Theta,” he paused, “is this about something else? Are you lashing out?” 

She stopped and turned to look at him, mainly so he could see how done she was with the conversation. 

“What would I be lashing out about?” 

“I don’t know, you tell me. You never tell me anything about what’s going on in your head.” 

“That’s cuz you’re not around.” She turned to push open the huge, mahogany door. It wasn’t mean, she just meant it as an observation. 

“Yes I am. I balance my time.” 

“Kos’, I’m tired. I don’t want to talk about this now.” She muttered, beginning her way up the stone staircase. 

“When do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know. Not any time soon.” She sighed, reaching her dorm room- the first one on the second floor corridor. She unlocked her door and went to open it, but was stopped by a hand coming to rest on hers. 

Theta glanced at him, and Koschei squeezed her hand a little. 

“If you’re going to thank me, don’t. I don’t want you too.”

“Ok, I won’t then.” He shrugged, taking her hand in his and drawing it to his lips. Theta’s entire face, and she was sure the rest of her body flushed, as he offered her a good natured smile and disappeared down the stairs, hands pocketed. 

She watched after him for a moment, before huffing though her nostrils. 

“Dammit.” She muttered. “I said not too!” The girl called after him. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about!”

-

Theta walked to class alone the next day. And it was honestly fine by her, for once. 

Theta liked being alone in the mornings. 

When the sky wasn’t as blood orange, more a pale cream, and the suns bathed her with warm light. When there were small dew drops on every blade of grass, and she could see butterflies shaking off the droplets from their wings, before taking flight again. 

She liked taking her shoes off and walking to class with the grass between her toes, the dew drops causing her to shiver but the golden sunlight basking her face in warmth. Equilibrium. That’s what she called it. 

And then it all got ruined. 

“Theta!” 

She turned to see Lareth coming towards her, and the other girl frowned at Theta’s bare feet. 

“Why are you walking without shoes on?” She asked, not unkindly. 

“Why not.” Theta shrugged. 

“Anyway,” Lareth shook off, and fell into unfortunate step with Theta. “I just wanted to say, thank you for yesterday. It wasn’t quite what I’d condone, but thank you for coming to my aid anyway.”

Theta shrugged. 

“It’s ok. He’s a dick.”

“He is...not kind, and I know you and I aren’t on the best of terms, so thank you.” 

“I don’t have a problem with you, Lareth.” Theta lied. She did have a little problem. Just a small one. 

“Yes, but I know it’s different for you. My friends can all hang out with each other when I’m not there, you don’t have anyone else. I never meant to ‘steal’ Koschei away from you.” 

“I know. And you haven’t.” She said. This really wasn’t a conversation she wanted to be having. 

“I’m glad you don’t think that.” Lareth smiled, as they came up to the gates of the building. 

Koschei was waiting for his girlfriend there, as he usually did, and his eyebrows shot up at the two girls walking along together. 

“Good morning Lareth. Good morning Theta.” 

“Good morning Kos.’” Lareth smiled, pecking a kiss to his cheek. Theta put her shoes on the ground, and put a hand on Koschei’s shoulder, steadying herself on him. 

“Stay still.” She shoved her feet in her shoes, her friend rolling his eyes. Theta pulled the first one on, and started pushing her second in, when Koschei stepped to the right purposefully, and Theta nearly lost her balance. 

She wobbled and smacked him upside the head, her friend scoffing and righting himself. 

“Tool.” She shot, pushing on her second boot. 

“You use me like one.” 

They turned to walk into the building together, Lareth drawing up the other side of Koschei. 

“So, are you two friends or something?” He asked.Lareth smiled a large smile. 

“I think we might be, some-“

“Nope.” 


	5. Five

Get up.” She threw open the door, and Koschei groaned. 

“How many times Thee’, you cant just come into my room whenever you want.” He mumbled, throwing a pillow over his head to block out the light she’d made. 

“You shouldn’t have given me a spare key then.” She shrugged, closing the door but striding over to throw open his curtains. 

“What if I had Lareth over?”

“Then I’d kick her out.” She shrugged. “Come on! Get up! The days still young!” 

“And maybe I want to sleep until the day is older.” He grumbled. 

“Then you really shouldn’t have given me a spare key.” Theta scoffed. “Come on!” 

“You’re so annoying.” He muttered. 

“I’m giving you ten minutes to get out of bed, before I pour pond water over your head.” 

“Get out then. Let me get dressed.” Koschei huffed, throwing a pillow in her direction. 

Theta grinned, pleased with herself, before leaving him to get dressed. 

She waited for a little longer than ten minutes, bouncing on her feet with anticipation. 

It was one of their few lessonless days of the month, and Theta had somehow managed to bag Koschei to herself the whole day. 

She wasn’t sure what they were going to do yet, but she was sure they’d think of something.

Koschei closed his door behind him, locking it and turning to her. 

“What do you want to do then?” Theta asked.

“Well, I heard a couple of the others were going down to the citadel. We don’t have to go with them, obviously, but I thought it might be fun.” He shrugged. 

“I’ve never been into the citadel alone before.” She frowned. She remembered going into it with her mother when she was maybe seven, but now they were twenty two, still far too young to go somewhere as busy as the citadel alone. 

“Well you won’t be alone. I’ll be there too.” He shrugged. 

Theta thought it over for a moment, before shrugging. 

“Ok!”

-

And so, the two of them got the tram down to the citadel. 

It was busy and fast, not what Theta was used too, but she found she didn’t mind too much. 

It was a little too man made for her though. 

They got off the tram and wandered down busy streets, looking through shop windows and into cafes. 

Neither of them had any money, but that was ok. Theta didn’t mind just wandering. She just liked Koschei being there. 

That was, until she stumbled across the Library of Gallifrey. 

She’d dashed in within a blink of an eye, and her jaw dropped to the floor. 

The room stretched back as far as she could see, and every square inch was filled to the brim with books. It was overwhelming, and Theta was immediately itching to touch everything at once and read as many books as she could with the day they had left. 

Koschei followed her as she zipped from wall to wall, running her fingers over the spines of beautifully bound books, and weathered pages. 

She ended up picking a particular one, and sitting on the floor with it. She read over the worn pages, and they spilled with light and breath of nature. The smallest creatures of Gallifrey came alive on the page as she read. Theta was sure she was in heaven.

“Hey, Thee’, look at this.” Koschei shuffled over to her with a book in his own hands. Theta tore her gaze away to glance at what he was pointing at. 

“What?”

“There’s something, under the citadel.” He crossed his legs, balancing the book on one knee.

“Huh?”

“Well, y’know how we got told that the Time Lords have the largest data base in history?”

“Yeah.” She had, surprisingly, listened to that part in class. 

“Well apparently it’s under the citadel. In something called The Cloisters.”

“The Cloisters?” She repeated, shuffling to lean over his shoulders. 

“Guarded by dead time lords. Cloister Wrath’s.” 

“How’s that possible?” Theta frowned. “I thought Time Lords didn’t leave bodies behind?”

“I think the database- or, the Matrix uses them..as like..a projection. To guard the data base?”

“Guard it from what?” 

“The Time Lords, I suppose.” Koschei shrugged. “But that doesn’t make sense. Why would a database protect itself from its creators?”

“Biggest database in the universe. I’m sure there’s some stuff on there it would rather the Time Lords didn’t know about.” She scoffed. 

“I suppose.” Her friend shrugged. “But apparently no ones ever been in there and made it out. They just leave it alone.” 

“Huh.” Theta hummed. 

-

When they went back to the academy that evening, Koschei told the others about what they’d found out, over dinner. Theta had sat beside him, thinking, as they discussed what it could mean, and what might be on the data base. 

It was always fairly civil at dinner, most people joined in on conversations, but Theta never talked to anyone, unless she was defending something. She preferred to sit and listen. 

She knew lots about everyone she went to school with. Some more than others, but a lot on all.

As the years went on, Theta got a little quieter, and listened more. Granted, she was still really, really young, and she was hardly quiet, but Theta had learnt the art of picking up on things when people thought no one was paying attention. 

Like how Rethra and Sanfej liked each other, but were too afraid to admit it. Or that Torvic got home sick. Or that Lareth’s best friend Kathla had a huge crush on her but would never say it. Or that Pewrthu had a sister that he’d never met. 

She knew it all. 

This particular dinner however, nothing was talked about besides the Cloisters. They branded Cloister Wrath’s ‘Sliders’, after the way that Koschei had found out they moved, and soon bets were being made. 

“I bet my spare room key I could go down there and get out again.” Sanjef grinned. 

“You could not.” Kathla scoffed. “You’re not brave enough.”

“Yes he is!” Rethra shot back. Kathla rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t think going down there would be a very good idea.” Lareth pointed out, arms wrapped loosely around Koschei’s forearm. 

“Yeah, and if anyone’s stupid enough too, it would be Torvic.” Sanfej joked. Torvic rolled his eyes at his friend, before nodding across at Theta. 

“Not me mate. She’s stupid enough.” 

“True.” Rethra nodded. “If it was going to be anyone it would be you, Theta.”

“Are you calling me stupid?” She asked. 

“No.” Sanjef interjected. “Just, reckless.” 

“Only cuz I could get out again. Unlike you amateurs.” She scoffed. 

“Go on then, I dare you.” Torvic threw across the table. “Next lessonless, we’ll all go down to the citadel, and you have to get in and out of The Cloisters.” 

“Funny.” Koschei muttered, rolling his eyes. Theta stared at Torvic’s stupid face for a moment, narrowing her eyes. 

“Unless you’re too much of a coward.” 

“Ok. I’ll do it.” She shrugged. Koschei could’ve broken his neck at the speed he whipped his head around. 

“You what??”

“Theta, you’re mad.” Pewthru scoffed. “Like, properly mad.”

“You can’t be that silly Theta.” Lareth said gently. “That’s far too dangerous.”

“Maybe.” Theta shrugged. “But that’s the fun in it.”

-

“You’re not serious.” Theta watched from Koschei’s bed as he paced his floor. 

“Course I am.” She rebutted. “I’m always serious.”

“Theta, get your head out your ass for a second. You’re not going down to the Cloisters.” 

“Why not?” 

He stopped in his tracks, and looked like he wanted nothing more than to shake her. 

“Are you even hearing yourself right now??? Why not??”

“Yeah. Why not?” 

“Because no ones ever made it out alive!” He threw his arms in the air. 

“Well yeah, not yet.” She shrugged. Koschei looked like he wanted to punch her in the face. 

“I hate you. I actually hate you.” He muttered. “You’re going to be the reason both my hearts stop.” 

“I won’t go if you don’t want me too.” That was a lie, but Theta didn’t want him to worry. 

“Of course I don’t want you too.” He groaned, before ushering her off his bed. “Now go away. You’ve made my blood pressure too high for one day.” 

“Alright grandpa, I’ll leave you to rest your weary blood pressure.” She grinned, as Koschei sat down, rolling his eyes. 

Theta skipped towards her door, before glancing back at her friend. She smiled fondly, and widely, before racing back over to him and squeezing him tightly. 

Koschei was taken aback for a moment, before he hugged back. 

“What’s this for?” He asked. 

“Just had a good day with you.” She shrugged into his shoulder. 

“I had a good day with you too Thee.” He let her pull away. “But maybe you should stick to butterflies, and not death defying cloister adventures.” 

“Sure. Maybe.” She shrugged, stepping her way towards the door again. “But then I’d lose your attention.” 

“Theta, you are far too interesting for that.” 

“Glad to hear it.” She grinned. 


	6. Six

Theta hadn’t been considering it. Not really. 

But Torvic seemed to want her dead, and Theta was not one to back down from a challenge. 

So, on the next lessonless day, her entire class followed her down to the citadel to see her off to the Cloisters. 

Koschei had caught her by the arm before they got in the tram, and pulled her aside. 

“You are not doing this.” He said firmly. 

“Of course I’m not.” She scoffed. “I’m just going to hide out in the citadel for a while, then come out and say I went in there. If they believe it they’re a bunch of idiots.” Theta muttered. 

“If you get caught anywhere near the Cloisters you could be arrested, Theta.” 

“I’m not going to get caught.” She reassured. 

“How do you know?” He frowned. 

“Because I’ve never been caught.” 

“Huh?”

“Exactly.” She shot him a pointed look. “I’m so good at sneaking around, you never even noticed I was doing it.” And with that, she swaggered off towards the tram. 

“Wha- wait! Theta!”

-

The small group of kids snuck their way as close as they could to the citadel entrance, Torvic leading the pack. 

Lareth and Koschei stood back, clearly not liking how close they were to being in trouble. 

“You’re really going to go in there, Theta?” Sanfej asked. 

“Of course I am.” She shrugged. 

“Well you have to have proof when you come out.” Torvic muttered. “Or I’ll just think you hid in a cupboard for a couple hours.”

“Oh come on, Torvic. We all know I don’t have the patience for that.” She rolled her eyes. “But if it makes you feel better, maybe I’ll bring back a slider.” She had a wicked grin on her face, as she watched Rethra swallow tightly. “Boo!” 

Three of her classmates jumped, and Theta let out a little cackle. 

“Hurry up, weirdo.” Torvic muttered, rolling his eyes. “We’ll wait for you.” 

“Longer than a day, we’ll just assume you’re dead.” Puwthru added. 

“Thanks guys.” She muttered, before glancing around at her. Theta rolled her sleeves up to the elbow, before clambering onto the large steel gate keeping them out. 

“Theta!” Koschei called after her, as she swung her leg over the top and dropped to the other side. “Be careful.” 

“Yeah, yeah. For you Gramps.” 

She grinned, and turned back into the citadel building.

-

Theta was good at sneaking around. Admittedly, it was harder with the smooth white walls of the citadel building, that left no rooms or crevices for her to hide in. 

But she managed. 

Theta watched as Time Lords, with their draping robes and huge regalia went about their day, chatting idly about all the things the young girl longed to understand. 

It was fairly easy to find the lifts, which Theta assumed took her down to the Cloisters. The girl considered going back, finding somewhere to hide for a few hours, and then re-appearing. 

But that was far too boring. 

Not Theta at all. 

However, Theta wasn’t stupid. If the Cloisters were as dangerous as everyone thought they were, she was sure whoever was running this place would be notified if anyone went down there unapproved. 

She chewed on her lip for a moment, thinking hard about how to get down to The Matrix. 

Theta wondered if there was a flight of stairs somewhere, before deciding the Time Lords were definitely not that stupid. 

When coming to the conclusion that there was no subtle way to get where she wanted to go, Theta decided to just cause a ruckus. 

She pulled her robe out from the small bag she’d brought with her, covering her face the best she could with it, and stepping out into the lift. 

Theta swallowed down a bubble of nerves, pressing the lowest button on the lift, she waited. 

Her foot tapped impatiently, and the young girl almost jumped when a voice echoed around her. 

“As your visit to the Cloisters is not pre-approved, the High Council of Gallifrey assumes you are an intruder, trying to get into the Matrix. We advise you to turn back down, and your arrest will be swift and painless. The alternative, is less so.” 

Theta was surprised they weren’t sending anyone after her, but equally as worried. 

Were they too scared to send someone after her? Or were they 100% sure she’d die down there?

All good questions, with no good answers. 

The door to the lift opened, and Theta swallowed tightly. 

The room before her seemed ancient. Deteriorating marble surrounded her, tangled with what looked like vines. It was dark, which did nothing to help the shadows cast on each wall. 

Sliders.

She heard the before she saw them. Shrieking and howling with pain and torment of Time Lords that had lived long, long lives. They really did seem to float around, and as Theta took a hesitant step out of the lift, and lowered her hood, she got a good look at one of them. 

It was like a Time Lord was trapped in a hologram, flitting between faces, all twisted in pain and fear. 

Theta ducked out of the way as one hurtled towards her, backing up with an increasing panic. 

“Ex!” Theta jumped and wheeled around, catching sight of something she didn’t understand.

That was exciting. 

It was taller than her, and seemed to be almost like a mini tank. With a blue light pulsing from a large pole in the middle of what looked like its head, with two similar poles a little further ahead. One looked a little like a whisk, the other like a plunger. 

“What are you?” She whispered. 

“Ter...min....ate....” it croaked, and Theta circled it slowly. Whatever creature it was, it was wrapped up in the same wires lining the walls, and dripping with some kind of black liquid. 

“Me!” It cried. 

“Sorry?” 

“Ex-ter-min-ate.” Theta gasped, taking a step back. 

“I know what you are.” She mumbled. “You’re a Dalek. Wow- I’ve never seen a Dalek in real life.” Talking to herself seemed to calm her nerves just that little bit more. 

“Me!” It cried. 

“Why aren’t you trying to shoot me?” She asked, stepping forward, and watching a long trail of black liquid trail from the blue light on its head.Theta stuck a hesitant finger out, some slime dropping onto it. She held it up to the little light, before taking the executive decision to do what any sane person would do. 

She licked her finger. 

Metal. And ionising. Electrically charged. 

“Oh.” She gasped. “You’ve been filed, into the database.” The young girl mumbled, eyes widening as she looked closer at the vines. “These aren’t vines.”

“Exterminate! Me!”

“Sorry mate.” Theta whispered, stepping around the Dalek. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do.” 

The deeper into the Cloisters the girl got, she began to wonder what to do next. 

It didn’t seem all that bad, just so long as she avoided the Sliders, but she couldn’t go back up to the citadel. She’d be arrested. 

So she had to find another way out. 

That was certainly easier said than done. 

-

Gallifreyan’s had famously slow metabolisms, and Theta was not an exception to that rule. 

She was pretty sure she’d been in the Cloisters, wandering around for some kind of way out for what she thought might have been a day, when she started to get hungry. 

Theta didn’t remember the citadel being this big, so she wondered how much the Cloisters actually covered underground. 

But Theta was bored now, and she didn’t want to worry Koschei. 

But she’d been wandering for a long time, and her feet hurt. So she sat down on the ground, deciding to take a break. 

Theta wasn’t really sure what the big deal about the Cloisters was. It didn’t seem that bad, or every that scary. The Sliders avoided her if she avoided them, and whilst their screaming was unnerving, Theta didn’t mind it. It kept her on her toes. 

The girl chewed on her nails, trying to consider her options. 

Of course, there was always the possibility that the only exit was the lifts, and an imminent arrest. But that seemed unlikely. These were ancient structures, Theta was sure they’d have a more convoluted escape route than a lift. 

It was clear whoever made the Cloisters, didn’t want anyone getting out if they made their way in. That was why they put the Sliders there- like guard dogs. 

But..maybe. 

Maybe they were more. 

Maybe the Sliders weren’t there to kill anyone. 

It was obvious when she’d worked it out, and Theta wanted to smack herself in the face. Sometimes she hated how slow she was. 

The Sliders weren’t there to hurt anyone- they had the strange vines for that. 

No, the Sliders were there to ward people off- away from the exit. It was like a wounded animal, trying to snarl and ward off people. 

How does someone make an exit impossible to get too? 

Give people a reason to fear it. 

Theta shot up, striding towards a Slider, with a determination she really hoped was not misplaced. 

“You.” 

The Slider didn’t stop, and began to hurtle straight towards her. Theta sucked in a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut and readying for an endless eternity of pain. 

It never came though. 

Theta opened one eye, only to see that the Slider had stopped, about a metre away. 

She swallowed tightly. 

“Um...you’re the exit, right?” 

The Slider didn’t reply. 

“I’m not here to take anything from the Matrix, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She began to babble. “I’m only here to prove a point and win a bet. I’ve won though now, so..I’d like to go home. And I think you know where the exit is.” 

The Slider turned, and glided away. Theta did the only thing she could think to do, and followed the foreboding creature. 

She followed it for a long time, maybe half an hour, and she was starting to think it was a lost cause, when she watched more Slider’s coming towards the one she was following.

Theta stopped, and watched as around eight Slider’s all crossed each other, leaving a little space in the middle. 

“Oh.” She whispered, making her way apprehensively into the space they’d left in the middle. 

There was nothing on the ground, no indication that this particular spot was of any significance. 

So Theta did the only thing she could think to do, and waited. 

If she was right, the Sliders were on a kind of circuit, and so, if she waited long enough, they’d end up back in the weird little circle they’d created. 

However, patience was not a virtue Theta had, and she soon grew impatient. 

She sighed, bouncing restlessly on her heels. 

She wanted to get back up on land. She was fed up of the darkness, and knew she had probably already worried Koschei too much. 

She’d never meant too, Theta hadn’t been planning on spending so much time down there. 

The girl ended up having to wait what felt like another half an hour, before the Sliders began to come towards her again. Theta stood very still, and hoped against all hope that her instinct was right. 

She closed her eyes as the Sliders came towards her, once again forming the circle they’d made prior. 

And then there was a warmth on her face, and Theta opened one eye, before opening them both, eyes widening. 

She was on a completely different side of the city to where she’d started. 

But alive. 

She had made it out of the Cloisters.

Theta was just a little smug. 


	7. Seven

Theta considered trying to find her class in the citadel, but then decided against it. She wasn’t really sure how long she’d been down there, and so thought it would be better if she got the tram back to the Academy, and waited for her class to get back. 

The ride back was a little bit of a daze.

She couldn’t believe she’d managed to get out of the Cloisters, completely unscathed. 

She was sure none of the others would believe her, and whilst frustrating, she didn’t reply blame them. 

She was only twenty-two: practically a toddler. And she’d managed to survive the Cloisters. 

She almost didn’t believe herself. 

Theta stepped off of the tram and wandered the rest of the way back to the Academy. 

If she was right, it was nearing the end of the day. Maybe she’d only been gone a few hours, she was sure she’d find out soon enough. 

Sanfej caught sight of her first, eyes shooting up from a book and widening. 

“Guys! Guys she’s back! Theta’s back! It’s Theta!” He called, and after a moment, her entire class was flooding out of the courtyard, eyes wide and mouths agape. 

Theta frowned. 

She thought she’d be back before them. 

“Hi?” 

“Theta!” 

The force at which Koschei hugged her was almost enough to knock her off of her feet. 

“Hey to you too.” She laughed gently, squeezing back. “Kos’- quite tight.’ 

He pushed her backwards, fury raging in his eyes. 

“What did you do that for then?? I thought you were dead!” 

Theta blinked.

“What are you talking about?” 

“Theta, you’ve been gone for four days.” Lareth said quietly. “We waited until sunset for you, but you never came back. We all thought you’d died.” 

“But- have I??” She frowned. “It didn’t feel like four days. I thought it was only a day.” 

“I hate you!” Koschei punched her in the shoulder, and Theta huffed. 

“Ow! It was an accident!”

“We were getting ready to have your funeral!” He snapped back. “You lied to me! You said you wouldn’t really go down there!” 

“It was a..change of plan.” She shrugged. 

“Wait, wait wait.” Torvic pushed forward. “You actually went down to the Cloisters?”

“Yeah.” 

“And you made it out?”

“...yeah.” 

Theta had never felt particularly apart of the group, but she certainly did then, as she was lifted through the gates and cheered like some kind of saint. 

-

Theta didn’t mind answering questions. She refused to answer all of them, like how she got out. Theta was a strong believer in the ideology that a magician could not reveal their tricks. 

However, this new found fame, Theta discovered, was not what she wanted. 

In all honesty, she wanted to sit down and talk to Koschei about it. She was hungry and tired, and used the latter as an excuse to escape back into her dorm. She assured the others that she’d explain more in the morning though, when she’d had time to reflect on the events. 

Theta sat alone in her dorm for a while, until Koschei inevitably knocked. 

He sighed, sitting beside her. The two of them were uncharacteristically silent for a while, before Theta glanced at him. 

“I’m sorry I worried you, Kos’. I really didn’t realise.” 

“I wasn’t worried Thee’. I was grieving. I thought you were dead.” He muttered. Theta did feel terrible, she really did. She reached out and gently squeezed his hand, biting her lip. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you go down there?” He asked. “You promised me you wouldn’t. It’s such a stupid thing to die over- winning a bet with Torvic, of all people.” 

“I know, but you know me. I just can’t say no to a challenge.”

“You should learn how too. It will be your downfall.” He muttered, in a tone colder than Theta was used too. It hurt a little. 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, genuinely. Koschei sighed, before drawing her into a tight hug. Theta smiled a little, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle as her friend squeezed tightly. 

“I missed you.” She murmured. 

“Mmm.” He hummed. “I can’t believe you really made it out of the Cloisters.”

“It wasn’t even hard.”

“It is though, Theta. You’re just hugely smart.” He murmured. Theta glanced up, frowning. 

“No I’m not. You are.”

“Thee’, you’re massively intelligent.” 

“Am I?” 

“Yes?” He frowned in disbelief. “Has no one ever told you that?” 

“No. I just thought everything was really easy.”

“You’re smart Theta. Really smart. You just don’t have the patience to show it in your work.” 

She didn’t reply, only smiling a little bit. It was rare that they complimented each other. It felt nice. 

“Theta.” Koschei said, after a while. She glanced up. “Promise me you’ll never do something that stupid ever again. Promise me I’ll never be in the situation where I have to mourn you, because you got reckless.” 

“Ok.” She agreed. He pulled away from her a little. 

“No, say it. I want you to say it.” He was serious. 

“Ok, ok.” She nodded. “I won’t ever be that reckless. I promise.” 

“Good.” He nodded, and flopped back against her bed. “I’m exhausted.”

“You’re exhausted? I haven’t slept for four days apparently. Get out my bed.” 

“Can’t be bothered.” He threw an arm over his eyes. “Just..come’ere.” Koschei opened his other arm out, and Theta thought about it for a moment. 

They’d never done anything like this, but she didn’t want to say no- she still felt horrible for leaving him for all that time. So she flopped down next to him, and threw an arm around his side. 

Koschei pulled her close and wrapped both arms tightly around her, before closing his eyes. 

“I mean it, Kos’,” she said quietly. “I really am sorry.” 

“I know.” He said softly. 

Theta closed her eyes, and listened to the slow beat of her best friends hearts, like the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. 

-

“There were things down there. Aliens that I’ve never seen before. They were trying to break in to the database I assume, but they got filed in.”

“What do you mean?” Rethra asked. 

“There were these vines down there. If you got caught up in them, you were filed away. Trapped in the data base with no way out.” 

“What kind of thing did you see down there?” Puwthru’s eyes were wide with curiosity. Theta glanced over each shoulder, for any teachers, and then leant closer to the group. They leaned in. 

“I saw a Dalek.” She whispered. 

She might as well have just shot someone, at the speed everyone leapt back. 

“No you did not!” Sanfej gasped. 

“You’re lying.” Torvic shook his head. 

“I’m not!” She shook her head. “It was just like how they described them. All tank like, and yelling ‘exterminate.’” 

“Why didn’t it kill you then?” Torvic asked, clearly skeptical. 

“The vines. Overloaded it’s systems I think. It was covered in an ionising goo. It was electrically charged, so I assume that’s what did it. But it was still speaking, it was asking me to kill it, so my best guess is that the creature inside couldn’t get out. The vines had blown the exit lock. And I’m guessing hurt the dalek too, since it’s all telepathic.” 

They blinked at her for a moment. 

“How do you know so much about Daleks, Theta. We’ve never gone over them in that much detail.” Lareth said quietly. 

Theta shrugged. 

“I dunno. Must have read it somewhere.” 

“See, smart.” Koschei muttered, only loud enough for her to hear. 

Huh. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was smart. 

“How did you know the goo was ionising?” Puwthru asked. 

“Oh, I licked it.” 

“Theta!” 

Or, maybe not. 


	8. Eight

Theta blinked a bleary eye, squinting as her door was opened. 

“Hello?” She mumbled, half asleep. 

“Sorry.” Koschei closed the door behind him, and Thetas bed dipped as she sat up, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hand. 

“No s’ok.” She yawned. “What time is it?” 

“Three.” 

“What’s up?” She asked, blinking in and adjusting to the darkness. Koschei was frowning a deep frown. 

“I- I wanted to talk to someone about something. I have for years now, but I’m just- afraid of what people will think.” He explained, voice quieter and more fragile than Theta had ever heard. 

It pulled her out of any sleep she’d been in. 

She sat up more, frowning. 

“I’m listening.” 

“It’s-“ her friend took a deep breath. “I- I know this is going to sound crazy..but...there’s...there’s a noise.” He started. 

“A noise?” Theta said quietly, when he didn’t explain for a little while. 

“Yes.” He nodded. “In..in my head. I think it started when I was initiated.” 

She nodded a little, not understanding but not wanting to push him. 

“It’s like- like heartbeats.” He explained. “Like, y’know,” Koschei put his fingers on the wooden side of Theta’s bed, tapping out a beat of four. “One two three four.” He did it again, and again, and again. 

Her friend seemed to zone out, tapping the rhythm over and over again. It was starting to put Theta on edge, and his uncharacteristic anxiousness was making her skittish. She put a hand over his, and Koschei was snapped out of his daze. 

“I get it.” She said gently, pulling his hand away from the wood. 

“Right, yeah. Sorry.” He shook his head. “Sometimes it’s manageable..like, in class. When I’m focusing on my work, or when I’m hanging out with you. But at night, when I’m lying in bed, it’s deafening. It’s all I can hear, I- I hate it.” He whispered. “It’s driving me crazy, Theta.”

“And it never leaves?” She asked. 

“No.” He breathed. “I can’t even hear myself right now. It’s too loud.” 

Theta wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never dealt with anything like that before, and was honestly quite worried about him. So she squeezed his hand, tracing her fingers over his skin in an attempt to ground him. 

It seemed to work, and Koschei relaxed a little, swallowing tightly. 

“Why don’t you go to a teacher? They must be able to do something.” She said quietly. Koschei shook his head. 

“It’s a fault. You know what happens to students with a fault. I’ll be kicked out of the Academy. I’ll never be a Time Lord and I’ll never see you again.” 

“So...so we’ll figure it out.” She tried to encourage. “I’ll go to the library, I’ll find something. We’ll get rid of it.” 

“You can’t promise that.”

“Just did.” Theta squeezed his hand again. “Have you told Lareth?” 

“No.” He shook his head. “I love her, but Lareth’s not really the person I’d go to for my problems.” 

“Why not?” Theta frowned. “You’ve been together for seventeen years. We’re about to go up to upper academy, that’s where relationships get serious. You should be able to go to her about problems.” 

“It’s complicated.” Koschei muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it now. I just needed to get it off my chest.” 

“That’s ok.” She didn’t let go when he stood up. “Stay with me, Kos.”

“Why?”

“It’ll give you something else to listen too.” 

He seemed to think about it for a moment, before sitting down next to Theta. 

The girl shuffled up, and let him under the cover with her. The two wriggled for a bit, trying to get in a comfortable position on Theta’s cramped single bed. 

She ended up with her head tucked into his neck, and Theta focused on making her breathing slow, and deliberate. 

She pulled an arm across his chest, feeling for his hearts under his shirt. 

Theta breathed in, and out. Loud enough for him to hear. She focused on his hearts, feeling them calm beneath her palms. 

Theta lay awake, breathing methodically against her friend, until Koschei had been asleep for a half hour. Then she curled up a little tighter, burying her head into his shoulder and closing her eyes, mind racing with questions and possibilities. 

-

Theta couldn’t find anything. Not in the whole library. 

She spent days and nights slaving over books, instead of being outside, looking for anything that could help Koschei. 

It didn’t help that they were moving up to upper academy in a few days, and everyone had started packing up their dorms. 

She’d gotten frustrated, and was currently sat at a desk, nursing a headache and an immense frustration. 

“Here you are.” She glanced up from where her head had been in her hands, to see Koschei frowning at the doorway. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Sorry.” She sighed, offering a small smile. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Looking for anything that can help you.” She admitted. Koschei sat opposite her. 

“Have you read the whole library? I mean jeez.” He pushed six books away from him, glancing up and down the stacks of books that surrounded Theta. “I mean you’re really taking this seriously. You’ve tied your hair up and everything.”

“I know.” Theta nodded, pulling the pencil out of her hair. The makeshift bun detangled from the back of her head, and she tucked a few locks behind her ears. “The stuff I do for you.”

“I don’t suppose telling you not to put so much effort into this, all for me, would stop you, would it?” 

“No.” She shook her head. “Because I haven’t found anything yet.” Theta sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He rolled his eyes fondly. “You’ve done more than enough.”

“Well I haven’t. We haven’t gotten rid of it yet.” She shrugged. 

Koschei stood up, offering her a hand. 

“Come on, let’s go down to the lake.” Theta narrowed her eyes, taking his hand and letting him pull her up. 

“I thought you were having your anniversary dinner with Lareth today?”

“I was, but she got really behind on her packing. We’ve postponed it until we’re settled into Upper.” 

“Oh. That sucks.” She hummed. Koschei shrugged a little. 

“Yeah. It’s ok though.”

“If you say so.” They wandered out of the library and towards the brook. 

“So how are you feeling about moving to Upper?” He asked. Theta grinned. 

“I’m excited. To be honest, I was done with Lower like four years in. I mean come on. Tell me these haven’t been the longest thirty years of your life?” 

“Twenty two years.” He corrected. “We got here when we were eight.”

“Ok then tell me it hasn’t felt like all our lives.” She muttered. “Besides, maybe now our lessons will be interesting. Now we’ve got the basics out of the way, we can learn all the fun stuff.” 

“I’m not sure learning telepathy is gonna be fun. More..really hard and painful.” 

“More interesting than looking at a chalkboard.” She shrugged, flinging off her shoes as soon as she got sight of the brook. 

Upper dorms were much further up the campus, and so it would be a lot longer to walk to get to the brook. Whilst that saddened Theta, she didn’t mind too much. She knew she could come back here if she really wanted too, and she was sure there’d be a lot more exciting things to look at at Upper. 

She just hoped there wasn’t less nature. 

“And we’ll learn about time travel.” She grinned, dipping her feet in the water and feeling the cool rush between her toes. 

“Yes, and all the rules surrounding it.” Koschei pointed out, sitting beside the bank. Theta scrunched up her nose. 

“I hate rules.” 

“Then I suppose you’ll be learning all the ways you can break them.” He scoffed, and the blond grinned. 

“That’s a great idea.” 

“It was a joke.”

“Same thing.” She shrugged, wading out into the middle of the brook and watching a water butterfly dip into the water and out again. 

“Why do you go and stand in there, Theta? Really.”

“I told you. I like the feeling of it.” 

“You’re still really weird.” He scoffed. 

“Oh come on. I’ve been doing this for twenty-two years and you’re telling me you’ve never once thought about joining me.” She grinned. 

“Of course I have. I just have more self restraint than you.”

“Self restraints boring. Come onnnn.” Theta beckoned him over, and Koschei sighed. 

“Fine.” He pulled off his boots and socks, before standing up, glancing at the water. 

Theta grinned a huge smile, watching her friend put his feet in the water and make his way over to her. 

Theta took both his hands, giggling as he stumbled on a loose rock. 

“You knew that one would move.” He accused. 

“You’d know it too if you weren’t so boring, with your self restraint.” She grinned at him. Koschei smiled at her, small and privately. 

The suns setting cast a golden hue across Koschei’s face, and basked Theta in a similar warmth that she felt coming to her cheeks. 

Had Koschei always been that attractive? 

Theta dove down from her thoughts, throwing water up between them. Koschei spluttered and stumbled, buying Theta enough time to collect herself and throw off the thought with a laugh. 

“Oh you are in for it!” He splashed her and Theta yelped, throwing more water back at him. 

The two of them laughed hysterically, as water got in her hair, mouth and eyes. Theta splashed him once particularly well, and Koschei ended up falling back onto his butt, and glowering up at her. 

“I am the Queen of the Lake!”

“You’re Queen of being a pain in the ass.” He scowled playfully. Theta shrugged. 

“That too.” She held out a hand to him, and watched as the thought crossed Koschei’s mind. 

He grabbed her hand, pulling her down into the Brook. 

“Ah!” She landed on her knees, the stones beneath her slipping and Theta rolled, ending up on her back and spluttering up pond water. 

Koschei was in fits of laughter, until Theta aimed a certain spit in his direction. 

“Ew! You’re actually disgusting!” He snorted. 

“You’re a traitor!” She shot back, with a giggle. 

“You’re soaked.” Koschei grinned. Theta snorted. 

“Oh! Am I? I hadn’t noticed!” 

Koschei laughed, shoving her playfully as he stood up, helping her up onto her feet. 

“Come on, let’s get you back to the dorms, before you freeze to death.” 

“You’re such a mother.” She rolled her eyes, picking her way out of the brook. 

Koschei just shrugged. 

“Someone’s got to look after you.”

-

They ran into Lareth, coming out of her room with a bag full of what looked like rubbish. 

“Oh! Kos- why are you both soaking wet?” She frowned. 

“Long story.” Koschei scoffed. 

“Theta- is that, pond weed in your hair?” The other girl frowned. Koschei glanced at her, before pointing at her head and guffawing. 

“You have pond weed in your hair!” He announced. Theta wheezed, snorting with laughter as she unlocked her door, leaning into it. 

Lareth watched on, bemused as Theta opened her door. 

“I can’t- breathe.” Theta wheezed out, Koschei barking with laughter as he pushed her inside. 

“Com- come on- you have to get- ch- changed.” He snorted, closing the door behind them. 

Lareth blinked at the door. 

“Oh. Ok. Goodnight then.” 


	9. Nine

It didn’t take Theta long to unpack her possessions. 

She’d never really had much. Not like some people at the Academy, who had come from aristocracy, and took all day to move their valuable possessions, with people to do it for them. 

Theta didn’t mind though. She liked not having much. It made what she had more valuable. 

She had a few books, her best boots, her clothes, a rock that Koschei had given to her, because it looked like a butterfly, and her little stationary and work books. 

She carried it to her new room in her backpack, setting it down on her bed and looking around. It was a little bigger than her last one, but looked pretty much identical. 

But Theta didn’t care about the room.

She raced over to the curtains, throwing them open. 

Oh. Brilliant. 

The view was miles better than her last one. She could see fields of red as far as the horizon, and she could hear birds, flitting about the swaying trees that overhung the grass. 

This chapter of her life was going to be good, Theta could feel it. 

-

She threw open the door to Koschei’s room, only to yelp and cover her eyes with one hand. Koschei and Lareth jumped away from each other, Lareth flushing from head to toe. 

“Theta!” Koschei snapped, embarrassedly. “I’ve told you about knocking!” 

“Well I didn’t think you’d be getting it on yet!” She dropped her hand, “we’ve only been here for half an hour.” 

“We weren’t!” Lareth squeaked. 

“What do you want?” He scowled at her, clearly mortified. 

“Don’t remember.” She shrugged. She did, but Theta wasn’t keen on talking about it with Lareth in the room. Koschei sighed deeply. 

“Great. So my pride has been ruined over your goldfish memory.”

“Oi!” Theta huffed. “Goldfish??”

“Kos’, it’s ok.” Lareth said gently. “How do you like your new room Theta?” She asked good-naturedly. 

“Pretty good actually!” She shrugged. “I’ve got a great view.”

“That’s great Theta.” Koschei stepped towards her, flapping his hands as he ushered her out.

“Oh come on.” She groaned. “Boring.” 

“I’m busy.” He grumbled, chucking her out. Theta rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Kos’, just say you want to get some.” 

He flushed, and pointedly slammed the door in her face. 

“I hate being the third wheel.” She muttered, huffing to turn back to her dorm. 

-

She waited until it was late, before creeping back to Koschei’s room. 

She knew he’d be awake, wether Lareth was there or not. So she pointedly knocked, and Koschei opened the door. 

He didn’t look impressed. 

“What?”

“Great to see you too.” She rolled her eyes. “Can I come in now? Or are you ‘busy’?” Theta raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m doing homework.” 

“Great, nothing important than.” She ducked under his arm, Koschei sighing and closing the door behind her. 

“Theta, it’s in for tomorrow.” 

The girl shrugged, pulling open his curtains. 

“Kos’, if you don’t want to see me, you can just say it.” She pulled open his window with some effort and a squeak. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Jumping.” She shot him a sarcastic glance. “What does it look like I’m doing?” Theta jumped out onto the window sill. “Why are you in such a bad mood?” She asked, finding her footing as she turned, back to the sheer drop. 

“I’m not.” He frowned absently, more focused on watching her feet. “Please be careful.” 

“I am.” Theta jumped, fingers latching onto the edge of the roof above her. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Koschei’s head followed her outside as Theta pulled herself up onto the roof. 

“You are in a bad mood.” She threw a hand out, and he frowned at it for a moment. 

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just take my hand.” 

He huffed, pulling himself up onto the window sill and taking her hand. Theta heaved her friend up onto the roof beside her. 

Koschei twisted, sitting beside her. 

“Ta da.” She said, with a small sigh. She’d wanted this surprise to be under better circumstances, namely when her friend was in a better mood. 

Still, his reaction was worth it. 

Koschei’s mouth dropped open, and his eyes lit up like the stars they were taking in. 

The galaxy was spread across the sky, as if someone had painted a streak of blue and purple across a black page. 

Stars dotted and swirled before them, burning and lighting up her friends face. 

Theta wanted to give more. She wanted to bring him the stars and the planets and the universe on a silver platter, and wanted to watch him glow. 

“It’s beautiful.” He breathed. 

“It’s what I wanted to tell you, earlier.” She explained. “Sorry I walked in on you.” 

“It’s fine.” He clearly wasn’t paying much attention, eyes wide and glittering. 

“It’s not your fault.” She continued to babble, “it’s just cuz you’re my only friend, sometimes I feel like a third wheel. And that’s not your fault, cuz you should be able to hang out with your girlfriend, obviously, I just meant that-“ 

Koschei took her hands and grasped them tightly, waving a hand towards the sky. 

“We’ll go there someday, Theta.” He murmured, eyes never leaving the stars around him. She blinked, looking up. 

“Where?” 

“Everywhere. To every single one of those stars. When we’re Time Lords, that’s what we’ll do. You and me. We’ll see the whole universe together.”

Theta watched his face, mouth slightly open as she tried to find the words to say what she wanted. 

He wasn’t talking about Lareth. He wasn’t saying they were going to go together, or that they were going to go as a three. He was saying that they’d go. Just them.

“I’d like that.” She breathed, eyes shooting up from his face as he tore his gaze away to glance at her. 

“Theta.” He said gently. She risked a glance downward, swallowing as subtly as she could. 

“Yeah?” Theta hated how wobbly her voice sounded, and how wobbly she felt. 

“I..” he closed his mouth, wet his lips, and opened it again. “Thank you. For showing me this.”

“It’s ok.” She shrugged off. “The books don’t really do it justice.” 

“No, no they don’t.” 

She watched his profile for a moment, before venturing. 

“Are you ok?” She asked. 

“Course I am.” He shrugged, lying back against the tiles of the roof. “Got my girl, got my stars.” 

Theta lay back next to him, and decided not to ask who he was referring to when he said that. 

She didn’t need another reason to stay awake at night. 

-

“Theta!” 

“Yes!” She jumped slightly out of her daze. “Sorry, sir.” 

“Well? Can you answer the question?” Her teacher scowled at her. 

Theta had never been popular with teachers. With the patience and the attention of a puppy, Theta was not exactly a pleasure to teach. 

Smart, more so than most, but the teachers couldn’t see that. Her messy and half-hearted work did not reflect her brain. 

“..you couldn’t repeat it, could you sir?” She asked, bashfully. There were a few sniggers at her. Theta didn’t even notice. 

Her professor sighed. 

“What is the main energy that time travel radiates?” He asked. “I don’t even know why I’m asking, if I’m honest, Theta. I’m sure you pay as much attention as a-“

“Artron, Sir.” She shrugged. “Although- Y’know, it also gives off waste in thermal and sound energy. And kinetic. And gravitational potential-“

“Thank you! Theta.” He snapped slightly. “I don’t take kindly to people who think they’re smarter than everyone else.” 

“Theta doesn’t think that, Sir.” Torvic scoffed. “She wouldn’t know a TARDIS if it hit her in the face.”

Theta went back to scribbling a butterfly on the corner of her book, without a care in the world. She swung her legs, absently listening to the teasing remarks Torvic continued to make. 

Koschei huffed next to her. 

“You ok?” She asked, under her breath. 

“I hate when he talks about you like that. Like you’re stupid. You’re probably the smartest one here.” 

“I wouldn’t say that.” 

“How can you stand it?” He muttered. “How can you sit there and listen to him calling you stupid?” 

“Because smart people don’t need to rely on insults for popularity.” She shrugged, hushed. “It’s not worth it.”

“I think it is.” He shook his head. “One day, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.” 

“Sounds like you.” She scoffed, before pushing her book in his direction. “D’you like my butterfly?” 

“Yeah, that’s pretty good actually. You’re getting better.” He hummed, drawing a tiny smily face next to the butterfly. 

Theta appreciated the contribution. 

“You could draw animals. Like..professionally.” He mumbled. 

“I’m in the wrong place.” She grinned. 

“Nah, don’t say that.” Koschei shook his head. “I mean, what would I be if I hadn’t met you?” 

“A lot less stressed?” 

“That’s pretty accurate actually.” 


	10. Ten

Theta was coming out of the shower, rubbing her hair down with a towel that she threw over her shoulder, as she made her way over to the door that had been knocked on. 

She opened it, eyebrows raising at the sight of Lareth. 

“Hey.” She said, curiously. 

“Hi.” The other girl smiled politely. “Am I interrupting?” 

“No.” Theta stepped back, confused. “Come in.”

“Thank you.” Lareth made her way into the room, glancing around it. “You have a nice room.” It seemed to be a pushed observation, like she was skirting around the actual topic. 

“Thanks.” Theta shrugged. “Is everything ok?” 

“I- I wanted to ask something.” The girl admitted, as Theta closed the door. 

“Ask away.” She had questions of her own, like why Lareth had come to her for any kind of help or advice, but she thought listening would be the best way to answer them. 

“Before I start, please promise me you won’t tell Koschei any of this.” 

“Why?” She frowned. 

“Because it’s- personal. And I am going to talk to him about it, I promise I am. I just wanted to know your opinion first.” She explained, more skittish than Theta had ever seen. 

“Yeah ok. I won’t tell him.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” Theta wasn’t sure wether she meant it or not- she needed to find out the details. 

“Ok,” she sighed deeply. “Does..does Koschei love me?” 

“Huh?” Theta raised an eyebrow. 

“Do you think Koschei loves me?” 

Theta hummed for a moment, thinking about it. She supposed she thought he did, yeah. They didn’t often talk about Lareth, but if she had to draw a conclusion, it would be a conformation. 

“Yeah, I think he does. We don’t often talk about that kind of thing, but I think he does. He seems to like being with you. Brings out good in him.” 

“You think so?” She frowned, a little sadly. 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“But, you don’t think he’s going to break up with me?” She ignored the question. Theta frowned deeply. 

“Where’s this coming from, Lareth? I thought you two were happy.” 

“We are.” She immediately blurted. “I- I mean, I think we are. But..I don’t know. Recently, I’ve just got the feeling his attention, lies somewhere else.” 

“What? Like someone else?” She frowned. 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Lareth sighed, eyes avoiding Theta’s. “It’s probably nothing, and I will talk to him about it, today. I just- has he said anything to you?” 

“No.” She shook her head, honestly. “Sorry. I wish I could be more helpful.” 

“It’s ok, thank you for being honest.” The girl turned back and opened Theta’s door. 

“I hope it goes well.” Theta added, and the other blond offered a polite but tight smile. 

“Thank you, Theta.” 

-

Theta waited. She tried to do some homework, but she couldn’t focus. She was sure Koschei would knock on her door at any time. 

Maybe he’d be angry. Maybe he’d be upset. Maybe he’d be happy. 

But the longer Theta waited, the more worried she became. 

What had happened? Had they broken up? Had it been a misunderstanding? What if he was heartbroken? 

Theta quickly got incredibly frustrated, and left her dorm in search of her friend.

She got to his door quickly, and frowned, hesitating. What if they’d made up, and she was about to interrupt? 

But then again, what if he was in there, crying and all alone? 

Theta decided the worst that could happen if she knocked was a slightly peeved Koschei, which she could deal with, so she knocked. 

There was no reply. 

She waited, and knocked again. There was nothing. 

Theta frowned, turning away from his door and pondering what to do next. 

Lareth turned the corner and spotted her at the end of the corridor. 

“Theta!” She called. Theta walked the little ways over to her. “You haven’t seen Koschei, have you?”

“No. I was just looking for him.” She frowned. “Haven’t you talked to him?” 

“That’s why I’m looking for him. He’s not in his dorm.” 

“No, I know.” Theta frowned. “Maybe he’s at the library.”

She turned to walk down the stairs and out of the building, Lareth falling into step with her. She’d prefer not to walk with her, not one to like forcing conversation. But she supposed there would be no reason for them to walk separately. 

“What do you think you’re going to say to him?” She asked. Theta didn’t bother to ask if that was too personal, she figured, if it was, Lareth would just say. 

“I suppose..tell him what I told you. Tell him how I’ve felt.”

“I’m guessing you don’t want to break up with him?”

“No.” She shook her head thoroughly. “I love him a lot. But I don’t want to be in a relationship where that’s not reciprocated.”

“Fair enou-“ Theta staggered forwards as Sanfej ran into her from behind, calling out a rushed apology as he kept on running. “Sanfej! What’s going on?” She asked as he got further away. 

“There’s a fight! Outside the library!” 

Theta glanced at Lareth, before the two girls took off into a run after their classmate. 

-

Theta knew it was Koschei before she even got there. 

She could feel it, in her gut. 

When they rounded the corner to the library, Theta saw a large group of people, yelling and cheering. 

There were some professors hurrying towards them, but Theta got there first, lanky legs and worry pushing her towards the barrier everyone had made, to stop teachers getting to the fight. 

“Move!” Theta ducked under arms and shoved past, soon coming to the front of the crowd. 

Torvic had Koschei pinned under him, and was punching him over and over again, her friend scrambling to try and push his attacker off of him. 

However, Theta wondered who really was the attacker. Torvic wasn’t unscathed- nose bleeding and large gash on his forehead. 

“Torvic!” Theta threw herself into the middle of the circle, tugging the larger boy off by the scruff of the neck. “Get off of him!” 

“Get off!” He shoved her backwards, and Theta clenched her fists, pulling him backwards by the collar and landing a square punch to the jaw. 

Torvic fell off of Koschei, and Theta hissed, knuckles bleeding slightly.

She had punched him a lot harder than she thought she had. 

Theta heard a professor yelling at them, and her name being scolded. But Theta only watched Koschei, who was being cradled by Lareth. 

He stared back, panting and bruised, with an emotion Theta couldn’t place. 

-

They were scolded and screamed at for an hour, before punishments were handed out and they were finally sent to tend to their wounds. 

There wasn’t a nurse on sight. Those at the Academy were expected to clear themselves and others around them up. It was an ancient practice, supposedly to toughen the Time Lords up, for wounds that weren’t regeneration worthy. 

So there Theta was, hissing with pain as she patted anti-septic onto her knuckles in Koschei’s room. 

Lareth was gently washing blood from her friends lip, and head. 

No one had said anything. 

“Why did you punch him so hard?” Koschei eventually asked. Theta scowled across the space at him. 

“Why did you get in a fight with him? That’s not like you.” 

“He just came at me. What was I supposed to do?” He sighed, avoiding her eye. Theta knew he was lying. She could smell it from across the room. 

Lareth didn’t seem to know this though, and she sighed a little. 

“You really shouldn’t have done that, Kos. You could’ve been seriously hurt.” She murmured gently, dabbing at the wound on his hairline. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He glanced at his girlfriend, a soft look in his eyes. It wasn’t right though. Something about the way he looked at Lareth set Theta on edge.

It was too light. Too plain. It was affection, and guilt, but nothing more. 

And then he looked at Theta. 

There was so much in the stare he held with her, that she couldn’t name most of it. Guilt, longing, apprehension, anger, affection. And so much more, that Theta could never even begin to understand. 

Lareth sighed, putting the damp cloth back into the bowl she was using. 

“I’ve got to go get clean water. Don’t move your face too much.” She pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead, before leaving the room. 

Theta crossed the room in a few easy strides, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning deeply at him. 

“Why did you do it?” She asked again. 

“I told you. He came at me.” 

“No, tell me the truth.” She demanded. Koschei’s jaw twinged, fluttering like a butterfly’s wing, and he glanced down at his lap. 

“He- he caught me. A couple months back. Trying to figure out the noise in my head. He doesn’t know the details but he knows there’s something wrong, with my head.

He teases me about it, Theta. It’s relentless. Every time I see him, he torments me, and he makes it so much worse. I’d just- I’d just had enough. Today. I just- lost it. It wasn’t like me, and I didn’t like it, but I don’t regret it.” 

“Neither. He deserved it.” Theta huffed, rubbing her temple with her finger and thumb for a moment. “But, why? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I knew you’d end up bleeding.” He nodded at her hand, and Theta frowned, biting her lip and covering her knuckles with her other hand. “Let me see.” 

“It’s nothing. You’re in far worse shape.” 

“You made your hand bleed with one punch.” He held out a hand, and Theta rolled her eyes, dropping it into his. “Why did you punch him so hard?” 

“That’s a stupid question.” She muttered, as he ran a featherlight touch over her knuckles. It didn’t hurt. “He was hurting you, what else was I meant to do? Ask politely?” 

“Ideally, if you ask the professors.” He muttered, letting go of her hand. 

“Well, maybe this’ll discourage Torvic from doing it again. And if it doesn’t, you tell me.”

“Why?” He raised a bemused eyebrow. “What are you going to do?”

She scoffed and turned away from him, towards the window. 

“I’ll kill him if I need too.” She laughed.


	11. Eleven

Theta blurted it out before she had the chance to think about what she was doing. 

“Did Lareth talk to you?” 

Koschei glanced up from where he was drawing on his hand. He’d been sitting at her desk, forcing Theta to do an essay that was in for the next day, so she wouldn’t get another afterhour-less. 

“Huh?” He frowned. 

Theta bit her lip for a moment, considering what she was about to say, before deciding to tell him. It was Koschei, Lareth couldn’t really have expected her to keep a secret from him. 

“Lareth, the morning before you got in your fight, came to my dorm. She said she was going to talk to you about your relationship. Said she had some doubts.”

“Oh, yeah. She did.” He hummed, looking back down. 

“How did it go?” She asked, curiosity peaking. She glanced over her friends face, who shrugged a little. 

“Yeah. It was fine I guess. We’re on track.” 

“What did she say to you?” 

“Same thing she said to you, I suppose.” Koschei frowned, clearly wanting her to get back to work. “She wanted to check I was ok with our relationship, now we’re in Upper.” 

She paused. 

“Kos...” Theta hesitated, “that’s not what she said to me.” 

He finally glanced up at her, frown etched between his brow. 

“What did she say to you?” 

Theta wet her lips, slightly agitated by the intensity of his stare. 

“She told me she was worried you didn’t love her anymore. That your attention was somewhere else, and that you didn’t want to be with her anymore.” 

Koschei’s frown deepened, an anger playing in his eyes. 

“Why didn’t she tell me any of this?” He asked. 

“You got in a punch-up an hour later. And I don’t know, maybe her doubts have cleared up. Maybe she feels like she doesn’t have to ask anymore.” Theta shrugged, leaning back in her chair and propping her feet onto her desk. 

“Maybe.” Koschei muttered, rubbing at his frown with his thumb. “I’ll talk to her.”

“As long as you don’t tell her I told you.”

“Since when did you care about what Lareth thinks of you?” He raised an eyebrow. Theta rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t, but I don’t want you two to have a fight, because of me.” 

“Fine.” He shrugged off. “Get back to work.” 

Theta huffed, dropping her feet and picking up her pen again. She worked for a while, but half-heartedly, unable to concentrate. 

Theta spared a glance in his direction, only to see Koschei frowning deeply. 

“Do any of her doubts have any substance?” She asked, gentler than before. 

“What do you mean?” He met her eye, and Theta shrugged, glancing away and back. 

“I don’t know. Do you still want to be with her?” 

“Yes. Why would you even ask that?” He snapped slightly, and the girl held her hands up in surrender. 

“I don’t know, I was just asking.” She shrugged. “I just figured, you might have given Lareth a reason to think that.” 

“I haven’t.” He grumbled. “My attention isn’t on anyone else.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him, minutely, and quirked an eyebrow. 

“I never said it was.” 

Koschei seemed to realise his slip up, and he pressed his lips together in a thin line, recomposing himself. 

“Finish the essay, Theta.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

-

Theta wondered if Koschei and Lareth were really going to break up. She almost couldn’t imagine that, they’d been together almost as long as she’d known them. 

She impatiently waited for news, since she knew they were together. 

Theta went down to the library, looked for books on the mind, read a few, and found nothing for Koschei. Then she went for a saunter through the grounds, trying to distract herself from her nagging curiosity. 

It became too much eventually, however, and Theta went back to her dorm, sitting on the window sill until there was a knock at her door. 

She crossed the room hurriedly, and opened it. 

Koschei smiled tightly, and Theta frowned deeply. 

He smelt really strongly of something, almost so much that she could taste it at the back of her throat. 

“What have you been doing?” 

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

“You. You smell, of something. It’s really strong.” He frowned deeply, raising an eyebrow. 

“Thee’, I haven’t done anything. I smell normal.” 

She shrugged off her frown, letting him in. 

“Maybe I’m just going crazy then.” She muttered. “You ok?” 

“Yeah. I talked to Lareth.” 

“How did it go?” Theta asked, closing her door. 

“Well!” He smiled widely. She nodded with a smile, and encouraging him to continue. She breathed in deeply, half of her mind still trying to figure out what the smell was. “Yeah, it went well.” He nodded. “We talked about everything, we were both honest. And we’re going to work on communication.”

“That’s..good.” She meant to sound genuine, but the smell was niggling at her brain, telling her that something about this was not right. “Yeah!” Theta pushed it back enough to answer genuinely. “Yeah, I’m glad.” 

“Are you ok?” He asked, frowning at her. 

“Yeah.” Theta nodded, before spilling the first thought that came to her mind. “Are you sure you were honest?” She bit her tongue as soon as she’d said it, shocked that it had come out of her mouth. What was wrong with her? 

“Excuse me?” He frowned. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” She muttered. “I’m not sure I feel that well.” 

“Since when does not feeling well make you ask stuff like that?” His gaze was hard and...defensive. That was the word. It tasted similar on her tongue. 

“Sorry, I don’t know where it came from.” She shook it off. Her head felt foggy. “I just- I think you’re lying.” Theta clamped a hand over her mouth. “What is happening to me??” She squeaked. 

Koschei looked a mix of confused, angry and defensive. 

“Lying?? About what??” He crossed his arms over his chest. Defensive. 

“Nothing.” Theta shook her head, in a desperate attempt to clear it. “About being honest.” She blurted. 

“Why are you acting like this?” He demanded. 

“I don’t know.” The blond admitted. “I’m not meaning to say it.”

“Oh so, this is the kind of stuff that you only say in your head?” He asked. 

“No!” Theta shook her head. At least that one was the truth. She really didn’t know what was wrong with her. 

“Why are you like this?” He snapped, pushing back past her towards the door. “It’s like you don’t want me to be happy. Why do you always have to intervene?” Koschei glared at her, before slamming the door. 

That was what the smell was. Whatever was buried in his glare, that was what the the smell was. 

-

Koschei didn’t sit next to her at dinner. He didn’t even sit near her. He sat at the other end of the table, holding Lareth’s hand the entire meal. 

Being a fairly small class, everyone else noticed this, and the meal was fairly awkward. 

Theta was a little hurt, but more curious. The overwhelming urge to know what had happened to her earlier far outweighed her guilt about what she’d said to Koschei. 

Even then, from five metres away, she could smell it, taste it over the food in her mouth. 

Lareth glanced between the two of them, concernedly. 

Theta finished her dinner first, excusing herself and racing to the library. 

She grabbed as many books on anything she thought it might be, before propping herself up at the table and beginning to read. 

Theta searched for anything, looked at time lords sensory overload, biology and any possible mental breakdowns she might have been having. 

But there was nothing. And after two hours, Theta was no closer to figuring out what was wrong with her, and it was too dark to continue. 

So she sighed, collecting the books in her arms and beginning to put them back where she’d found it. 

Theta figured she may as well be the librarian; she knew every book and it’s place. She’d even thought of a few ways in which it could be better organised. 

Theta was putting the last book away, and up a twenty-foot ladder, when she got a hit of something so hard it almost knocked her off her precarious position. 

It was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice-cold water over her. It filled her ears and nose and mouth and made her eyes water. 

Theta slid down the ladder and landed, wobbly on her feet, trying her best to decipher this new sense. 

It was bad. Tasted bad, and smelt pungent. It sounded similar to fear, or anger or- 

Help. 

The word rang in her head and Theta stumbled, the force of it almost enough to drag her to her knees. 

Someone needed help. 

And as Theta recomposed herself, the sense forcing her into a run as she left the library, she had a horrible feeling she knew who needed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening to Holding Out For A Hero at this last part really makes it y’know


	12. Twelve

Theta didn’t know where she was going. It was too dark to see, and she was worried about going the wrong way, but with nothing but a feeling and a word to guide her, she had no choice but to trust her instinct. 

She raced across the campus, feeling stone and grass and dirt under her feet respectively. The girl managed to get some grasp of her surroundings when she heard the rushing of water. 

Theta followed the brook until it wasn’t the only sound. Until she could hear grunts and groans and cries and the sickening sound of punches being landed. 

Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness now, and Theta raced forward, finally seeing what had lead her there. 

Torvic was on top of Koschei, punching him over and over. Koschei had stopped moving, and Theta was sure Torvic was going to kill him. 

“Torvic!” She called, rushing forward and shoving him from her friend once again. Koschei was in bad shape, bleeding and choking. He scrambled over onto his front, where he could cough up the clots. “What are you doing?” She demanded, putting herself in between the two of them. 

“He’s faulty.” Torvic spat. “Trust me, it’s a mercy killing.” He scoffed. “It’s better I put him out of his misery. He’ll be kicked out of the academy.” 

“You’re not doing that.” She growled, fury boiling hot in her stomach. 

“Yes. I am. And if you’re smart, Theta, if you ever had any sense in you, you’ll move.” 

“No.” She spat. 

Torvic surged forward, knocking her off of her feet and lunging back at her friend. 

Theta jumped up again, running through the possibilities in her mind. 

What could she do? 

Koschei was in no shape to fend him off, and Torvic was stronger than her. She’d never win in a fight with him. 

She could try and get someone, or call for help, but then it would be too late. 

Theta begged her brain to think of a solution, but all it gave her was the word ‘help’ over, and over. 

Koschei lurched at a certain punch, groaning. 

“Theta.” He breathed. “Please.” 

The words seemed to break something in her, and Theta snapped. Hot rage curled around her limbs and mind. 

“I said, get off of him!” She lurched for Torvic, latching ahold of his collar and hauling him backwards. She didn’t stop though. Theta’s rage gave her the strength in her arms to drag the boy towards the brook. 

As they got closer, Torvic seemed to realise his situation and he began to struggle against her. But Theta was furious and knew the brook better than him. He couldn’t find his footing and he began to claw at her, as Theta grabbed the scruff off his neck. 

She didn’t think as she threw his head underwater. The boy began to scream and yell and plead. But Theta couldn’t hear. She watched the bubbles rise to the surface and heard no sound. 

A tiny, tiny part of her was crying out to Koschei, asking him to beg her to stop, but Koschei didn’t. 

He didn’t say anything as Theta pinned a struggling limb under her grip and watched the boy claw at the ground, blood beneath his nails and screams only audible to the creatures that lived underwater. 

It was silent. And she glanced up, as a peaceful butterfly fluttered past. 

Theta watched, cold and detached as his flailing limbs tired, bubbles becoming sparse as his body became heavy in her grip. 

But she didn’t let go. She stood, Torvic pinned under her grip, dead, for minutes. 

There was a rush of cold air, and it cooled the rage in her blood. Theta took a deep breath in, and the force of what she’d just done hit her like a truck. 

The young girl cried out, stumbling backwards. She tripped and fell, continuing to shuffle away from the body and what she’d done. 

Theta was shaking, eyes wide and hearts pounding. 

“Oh my god.” She whispered, mouth dry and scraping. “Oh my god, oh my god.” 

“Theta.” Koschei stood up, wobbling slightly a little ways away. 

“Oh my god.” Theta breathed, clasping her hands to her mouth as they continued to tremble. Her gaze remained on the limp body in front of her, and she searched for any sign of life. 

There wasn’t one. 

She’d taken it from him. It was on her hands. In her skin. Itching. Burning. 

“Theta.” Then Koschei was in front of her, crouching and cupping her face with his bloodied hands. “You need to help me.” 

“Wh- what?” Her voice was shakier then she’d ever heard it.

“We need to burn this body. But I can’t lift him on my own.”

Theta searched his face for any flicker of humour, or light. His eyes were dark, and unfamiliar. This wasn’t the Koschei she knew, and that scared Theta. 

“I- I don’t understand.” Her voice failed her half way through the sentence. 

“I know this is a lot, but we have to move.” He was pulling on her arm, trying to get her to stand. 

How could she stand? She couldn’t even breath. 

Theta tugged her arm from his grip, shuffling backwards slightly. 

“Koschei,” she choked out. “Koschei- I- I- I kill- I-“

“I know.” He said calmly. “I know you did, but it’s ok.”

“How??” Tears welled in her eyes. Theta was terrified. What was happening? How had this happened? How had she done this?? “How- how-is- is this ok?” She whispered.

“You were protecting me, Theta. There was nothing else you could’ve done.”

“I-“ a tear spilled from her eye. “Im- I’m a-“ she hated how Theta didn’t have the courage to say it, when she’d had the courage to do it. 

“Listen to me, Theta.” He took her trembling hands. “I know this is a lot, and I know you’re scared. But if we get caught, you’ll go to prison.”

“I deserve it.” She whispered, eyes wide on the form behind Koschei. Her friend shifted so she couldn’t see it, and gently took her cheeks in his hands, forcing her to look at him. 

“Theta, listen to me.”

“H- how- how are you so- so calm? I- I don’t-“

“Theta.” He said sharply, and Theta stifled a sob. “If you go to prison, you’ll never see me again. Is that what you want?”

“....No.” She shook her head. 

“Exactly. Now I need you witch me, ok? Right now, I need you to focus and to listen to me. We’re going to do this together.”

“B- but- y- you might g- get caught too.” 

“We’ve done everything else together, this is no exception. I’m not leaving you, so you don’t leave me, ok?”

“Ok.” It seemed easier to just listen to Koschei, just to follow his lead, than think for herself at the moment. 

“Just do what I say, and we’ll be ok. Yeah, Thee?” He said her name gentler, and Theta nodded. 

“Ok.” 

-

They burnt the body far from campus. They picked a remote spot in the middle of the countryside, maybe a mile away.

Theta’s arms and legs ached. 

Koschei was bloodied and bruised beyond belief. 

They had two hours until dawn. 

Theta stood on the opposite side of the fire, watching the smoke rise in the sky, and tears fell down her cheeks. 

Across the flames, Koschei opened his arms, and Theta made her way around, throwing herself into him. 

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, pressing a gentle kiss to her head. 

Theta would forever be grateful for how he’d reacted. She’d never seen Koschei with that level of control over a situation, but she was so glad he had had it.

If he hadn’t, she knew she’d still be sat on the bank, waiting to be found a few feet away from a dead body. 

“Koschei-“ the word was twisted with pain and guilt, and he squeezed tighter. 

“Sssh. I know.” He muttered. “Now, listen Theta.” 

She glanced up at him, and he put a hand to her cheek. 

“I know this is hard, but it’s not over yet. This is the important part. Because people are going to know Torvic’s missing, and people are going to start asking questions. So we’re going to go back to your dorm, get cleaned up, and we’re going to get our story straight.”

Theta had no idea how he was so put together. It was like he’d done this before. 

“Ok?”

“Ok.” She whispered. “Wh- what if we get caught?”

“We won’t.” Koschei replied sternly. “Not if you listen to me.”

“I’ll listen.” Theta nodded, turning back to look at the fire. Koschei nodded. 

“Good.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that escalated quickly


	13. Thirteen

They got cleaned up in silence. Theta tried to help clean up some of Koschei’s cuts, but her hands were shaking too much. Eventually, he put his hands over hers and gently pulled them away. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. 

“It’s ok.” He reassured. “I’ve got it. Why don’t you go wash your hands?” 

“Ok.” She nodded. She just had to listen to Koschei. Then it would be fine. Then it would all be ok. 

Theta left him on her bed to go to the sink in her bathroom. She glanced at the taps for a moment, before turning on the hot one. Theta watched, as the tap got hotter, and when she knew it would be at its hottest, she stuck her hands under it. 

It burnt, but Theta didn’t give herself the privilege of reacting. 

She began to scrub at her hands, and the blood was soon washed from them. But Theta kept scrubbing, scratching and trying to force out the feeling in them. 

There was life in her hands that wasn’t hers. She’d taken it from someone else and she didn’t want it. She didn’t want it in her skin and her blood, she didn’t want it. She hated it. Hated herself. How could she do this? How could she take the life of another person? How did she have it in herself to do that? How could she live? She was a horrible person. She was scum. She was-

“Theta!” Koschei snatched her scolded and scratched hands away from the tap, and he turned it off. “What are you doing?” He glanced down at her hands. 

“I-“ Theta wasn’t sure how to answer. “I- don’t- I cant-“ 

“Look at me.” Koschei cupped the back of her neck with his hands, but his eyes were hard, and serious. “Theta, you have to pull yourself together. Until this is all over.”

“When? When will this all be over, Koschei?” Her eyes were wide and scared.

“When people stop looking for him.” He muttered. 

“Th- That could be years.” She whispered. 

“Then you have to pretend for years.” He said sternly. 

“I- I don’t think I can.” She glanced down at her scolded, crimson hands. They hurt. There were red hot patches blossoming on them. They almost looked like butterflies. 

“Yes you can,” Koschei put two fingers under her jaw and forced her head upwards gently. “You have too, or what will happen?” 

“I’ll go to prison. Li- like I should.” Theta mumbled. 

“And?”

“And, I’ll n- never see you again.” The words hurt as she said them. Pierced. She didn’t want that. She couldn’t bare the thought of it. She needed Koschei. He was everything to her- all she had. 

“And you don’t want that, do you?” 

“No.” Theta shook her head. 

“So we’ll pretend. And we’ll always be here for each other. We’ll always know the truth. Just you and me, yeah? Like old times.” 

“Ok.” She agreed, and Koschei pulled her tight to his chest. 

-

Theta and Koschei sat on her bed until dawn, making sure their story was straight. 

She’d been in the library. If they didn’t believe her, they could ask the librarian. He was there, but left whilst she was still in there.

Koschei had been helping the kitchen staff. They’d seen him. Torvic had last been seen an hour before Koschei and Theta had last been seen. 

No one had seen them coming back to her dorm so late at night. Koschei had fallen on his way back to his dorm, that’s where he got the cuts and bruises. 

They hadn’t seen each other until breakfast. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was watertight. Missing persons were never usually investigated all that intensely anyway. Not at the Academy. It was always assumed that it had just got too much for them, and they’d run away. 

Still, Theta and Koschei needed to make sure they didn’t give anyone any reason to suspect differently. 

He told her to try and get some sleep, but the two of them knew that wouldn’t happen. 

So they lay on Theta’s bed, in silence, with their hands intertwined, until they heard people getting ready for breakfast. 

Theta changed her clothes. Koschei slipped into his dorm, and did the same. 

She prayed for his fast return. It was too quiet and the itching was scolding. 

Theta turned the mirror around in her bathroom. She flattened her hair with her still trembling hands, and listened to her breathing. 

Her wretched breathing. 

There was a knock at her door. Theta opened it slowly. 

It was Koschei and Lareth, both smiling widely at her. 

“Good morning Theta!” Lareth smiled. “You ready for breakfast?” 

“Yeah.” She smiled tightly, stepping out of her dorm and locking the door behind her. 

“You two make up, after whatever happened last night?” The other girl asked kindly, as they began to make their way down the stairs. 

Theta had forgotten Koschei had been angry at her. It seemed like centuries ago. 

“Course.” Koschei scoffed, smiling widely at her. “Can’t stay mad at this one for long.” 

“That’s good.” Lareth smiled. “Are you alright, Theta?” She queried, politely. “You’re quiet.” 

“Yeah. Sorry.” Theta swallowed dryly. There was bile in her throat. “I just don’t feel very well.”

“Maybe you should stay at home?” Theta glanced at Koschei, who gave her a minute shake of the head. 

“No, no.” She shook off. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s just a little stomach pain.” 

“If you’re sure.” Lareth smiled. 

Theta was silent on the way to breakfast, Koschei and Lareth talking the whole way there about classes and homework. 

Theta watched her friend, almost in awe. He was so put together. So composed and sure of himself. Theta didn’t know how he was acting like they hadn’t burnt a body together three hours ago. He’d never been this confident, and it didn’t quite sit right with Theta that this was where that came to light. 

They sat beside each other at breakfast. Theta prodded at her food and didn’t look at the space where Torvic was missing from. 

The class ate and chatted, before Sanfej frowned.

“Has anyone seen Torvic?” He asked, worried by the absence of his friend. Theta tensed minutely, and Koschei took her hand under the table. 

“No,” Koschei frowned slightly.

“Maybe he’s sick too.” Lareth said. “Theta said she wasn’t feeling very well, maybe it’s contagious.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Sanfej hummed. “I’ll check on him later.” 

-

It was at dinner. 

Somehow, Theta had managed to get through the whole day, excusing her strange behaviour with a sickness. She hadn’t done any work, and any time where she could be holding Koschei’s hand, she was. 

But she’d done it. And that wasn’t bad. Or, maybe it was. 

But it was at dinner, with Sanfej sat down with a worried brow. 

“I can’t find Torvic anywhere. I’ve told the professors. If he doesn’t turn up by tomorrow, they’re going to file a report. Get the police involved.” 

Theta couldn’t breathe. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to leave. 

Koschei ran a thumb over her knuckles, and Theta could smell something from him. It tasted like reassurance. And it helped, just a little bit. Enough that Theta found her voice, and had the audacity to mutter out a,

“I hope he turns up.”

She hated herself for it. But as Koschei squeezed her hand, and as he smelt like appraisal, Theta wasn’t so sure he felt the same. 


	14. Fourteen

Theta stayed in her room for days. She told people she was sick, she let Lareth come and bring her the work she’d missed and her well wishes. 

And Theta lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. 

She couldn’t feel anything. Everything felt cold, numb. She ate, she slept and she breathed. 

The hours passed in minutes, and Theta’s legs carried her. Her arms pulled her up and her body continued to work. 

But her mind shut down. Refused to think of anything. 

Koschei hadn’t tried to talk to her about it. He didn’t give her updates on their search for Torvic. They didn’t talk about anything. 

On the fifth day, Theta decided to have shower. She got up, and turned on the water. It was freezing cold. 

Theta watched the jets of water for a moment, before stepping under them. She didn’t bother to take her clothes off. 

Theta just stood under the stream, letting the freezing water trickle down the back of her neck and down her throat. 

Her knees trembled, and Theta dropped to the ground. The impact seemed to knock the barriers she’d made out of place, and she let out a choked sob. 

Theta curled up in on herself, and cried. She wept for Torvic, for Koschei, for herself, and for her innocence. She wept for everything she’d taken and everything she’d become. 

The trickling water burnt her skin- a constant reminder of what she’d done. 

She couldn’t go back to the brook. Not ever. 

Theta cried, sobbed until her head pounded and her stomach ached. 

And she gasped, glancing up as arms encased her tightly. Theta opened her mouth to say something- anything, but Koschei only pulled her close. 

“It’s ok.” He said gently. 

And Theta cried into his shoulder, as Koschei sat underneath the shower with her, the two of them fully clothed, almost as if it would wash away their sins.

Koschei pulled back after what seemed like a day. 

“Thee,” he said gently, as he leant up, turning off the shower. “Arms up.” 

Theta glanced up, eyes puffy. She didn’t understand what he was talking about, but shakily compiled. 

Koschei gently peeled off her jumper from her t-shirt, and threw it aside. He stood up, grabbing a towel from the rack. He set it on the toilet seat and took Theta’s hands, gently helping her up. 

Theta stood and watched as Koschei wrapped the towel around her. 

It was warm, and comforting. 

Koschei lead her to sit down on the toilet, and he pushed some hair gently from her face. 

“You take your shirt and your trousers off, yeah? And I’ll get you some new clothes. Ok?” 

Theta didn’t care. She didn’t care what he was saying, it was enough that it wasn’t about what they’d done. And it was so gentle. So comforting. He made it sound like nothing had changed, and it made Theta want to cry even more. 

She nodded, and Koschei stood up, leaving her alone in the room. 

Theta sniffled, unbuttoning her trousers and pushing them off with her feet, struggling slightly as the wet fabric clung to her chilled skin. 

She shuffled out of her shirt, before wrapping the warm towel tighter around her, and shivering slightly. 

Koschei came back through the door, pushing the pile of wet clothes to the side of the room and setting the new ones on the sink next to her. 

“Do you want to do this? It’s ok, if you don’t.” He said quietly. She nodded slowly. “Ok. I’ll be right back.” 

Koschei left the room again, trailing drips of water behind him. He was wet too, but seemed to think it wasn’t important at the time. 

Theta let the towel drop down her shoulders, and she slowly pulled the new shirt over her head. It felt better to be fresh. Less heavy, if only slightly. 

She shuffled and slowly pulled on the new trousers, buttoning them at the top with only slightly trembling fingers. 

She waited for his return, and Koschei soon did. He’d changed his clothes, and was wielding a hair brush. 

He didn’t say anything as he gently parted Theta’s hair. Koschei delicately brushed through her hair, softly, as if she was fragile. Theta sat and let him brush, forcing herself to keep her eyes open. 

Koschei brushed slowly, blond locks of hair slipping through his fingers as they left the teeth of the brush. 

His hands didn’t snag on tangles. He gently held them in his palm, and brushed through in minute strokes, never once tugging on her hair. 

Theta’s hair was soon smooth and untangled. Koschei helped her upwards and lead her over to her bed. 

“Sleep. I’m here if you need anything.” Theta lay back against the pillows- that he’d flipped, she noticed, and curled up into his chest. 

Koschei’s fingers found her hair again, and Theta sighed gently. 

“I don’t deserve you, Kos.” Her voice was strained, and weak. 

“No.” He hummed. “You deserve much more. Perhaps the entire universe.” 

She glanced up at him. 

“How can you say that?” She asked, quietly. “After what I did.”

“Because, Theta, there are plenty of people who have done far worse. Torvic was a bad person.”

“No one deserves that.” She muttered. 

“No, but it’s over now. You did what you did, and now, the worst thing you could do is waste the life given to you, that Torvic could’ve had.” He hummed, watching the way her hair shone in the light. Like a halo. “He was going to kill me that night, Theta. We both knew it. What else could we have done?”

“I could’ve got someone.” She mumbled. 

“That would’ve taken too long.”

“I could’ve knocked him out.”

“And he would’ve cornered me again and killed me then. Theta, you were justified.”

“..justified.” She repeated, the word tasting strange on her tongue. But, right. Koschei was right, she was justified. It was justified. 

He was right. 

She just needed to listen to Koschei. 

She was justified. 

“Exactly.” Koschei nodded. “And we’re going to be just fine. It’ll be ok.” 

“Ok.” She whispered, closing her eyes. She listened for his heartbeats, listened for life. “We’ll be ok.” She repeated. 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Thee. I’ve got everything under control.”

“Ok,” Theta breathed. “I believe you.”


	15. Fifteen

The months passed slowly, as Theta started to get back on her feet. She started to go back to class. Then she started to eat, and wash regularly again. Then she started doing some homework, with Koschei there to spur her on, of course. She started smiling more, just a little bit, and even if most of it was fake Koschei said that was more progress than nothing. 

There were two things that Theta couldn’t do. 

She couldn’t sleep. She’d lay awake for hours, the sound of rushing water filling her head and her senses. Or she’d pace her room, do anything but lie down and start thinking. However, when the fatigue got too much and her eyes were forced closed, all Theta could see was his face. His clawing fingers and his flailing limbs. 

Koschei slept with her most nights. It gave him something to listen to over the sounds in his head, and it meant he was there when Theta jolted up onto a cold sweat, shaking and gasping for breath. 

She’d asked Koschei wether he got nightmares. Koschei had only shrugged, and told her he could never remember his dreams, but he supposed sometimes he must do. 

The other thing Theta couldn’t do, was read. She refused to pick up any of her favourites books, that now lay, gathering dust on her shelf. She wasn’t sure what it was- maybe she felt she didn’t deserve to be fully who she used to be, after what she’d done. That maybe she was punishing herself by not giving into something she loved so much. 

Theta wasn’t sure, but Koschei always talked about little steps in the right direction, so she assumed she’d find the strength to let herself enjoy them someday. 

It got a little easier after people stopped searching for Torvic. Sanfej was a little upset, but everyone assumed he’d just left, so his friend wasn’t exactly grieving. He just felt a little betrayed. 

It was one day, when Koschei was sat with Theta, as she did her homework, that something had changed. 

“How do you do this without someone forcing you too?” She muttered. 

“Because I know I’ll get in trouble if I don’t.” 

“That doesn’t stop me.” She pointed out. 

“No, well, that’s cuz you’re an idiot.” He scoffed fondly, flicking her temple. 

“Ow.” She pouted, rubbing at the skin. It didn’t hurt. “I might have to regenerate.” 

Koschei laughed. 

“Wouldn’t that be a shame.” He grinned. “You might turn into a man.” 

“I don’t want to be a man.” Theta huffed. 

“Why not?”

“Because, it’d be weird.”

“Yeah, it would a little bit.” He pointed at her work. “Keep working.”

“Imagine you being a woman.” A small smile flickered onto her lips. Koschei scoffed. 

“I’d be a better woman than you. I’d put my hair up all nice and I’d wear makeup.” He grinned.

Theta let out a tiny laugh. It was the first in months. And it felt strange, but..not bad. It didn’t feel wrong, like she hated herself for it. It was just, ok. It was a little good. It changed everything. It was only onwards and upwards from there. 

Koschei seemed to think so too, if his fond smile was anything to go by. 

“Why don’t you do any of that?” He asked, not mentioning it. “Put your hair up, wear makeup.”

“I don’t know.” Theta shrugged a little bit. “More effort.”

“Fair enough.” Koschei hummed. “Lareth takes an age to get ready.” 

Lareth had been great to Theta. She’d been visiting her for the months that she hadn’t been herself, chatting about the goings on of campus, tips on the homework, and only kind words. She never asked what was wrong, Koschei told Theta he’d said she was struggling with schooling and it had taken a toll on her mental health. Lareth seemed to take that as an answer. And Theta didn’t really like her still, she still got on her nerves. But she appreciated the gesture. 

Even if she felt like she didn’t deserve it. 

“She’s got a lot of hair.” Theta considered. 

“She does.” Koschei hummed. “Get back to work, Thee.” 

Theta started writing again. 

-

She shot up, gasping for breath. Hot tears were spilling down her cheeks, and her throat was raw, like sandpaper. 

“It’s ok.” Koschei sat up beside her, rubbing slow circles into her back. “It’s alright, I’m here.” 

Theta sniffed, wiping the tears away with her sleeve. 

“Sorry.” She croaked, and Koschei hushed her, before grabbing a glass of water from the bedside table besides them. 

“Here, drink.” He said gently. Theta took the glass from him with trembling fingers, taking deep gulps of the stuff, until she’d finished the glass. “There you go, you’re alright.” He hummed, taking the glass back and putting it back. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I’m waking you up every night.” 

“I don’t mind.” He said, collecting her hair in a small bunch at the back of her head with one hand, sweeping it away from her face. 

“You must do.”

“I don’t. Sleeping with you gets me more sleep than I was getting, even with your nightmares.” Theta glanced over her shoulder at him, as Koschei lay back, opening one arm. 

Theta lowered herself back down, tucking herself into Koschei’s chest as he wrapped his arm around her. 

“Do you think they’ll ever go?” She asked quietly. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted, tracing gentle words over her skin. 

It’s ok. 

It’s ok. 

It’s ok. 

That’s what he was tracing, and it was enough for Theta’s eyes to flutter closed again, as she breathed out slowly. 

“But even if they don’t, we’ll deal with them together.” He said quietly. 

“Ok.” She whispered. 

He traced the shape of a butterfly over her forearm, and Theta fell back into a light sleep. 

-

“Koschei?” She glanced up from where she was sat on her bed, and Koschei turned at her desk from where he was doing his homework. 

“Yeah?”

“Y’know- y’know before...before everything happened..we had an argument?”

“Uhh..oh- yeah. Yeah I remember.” He nodded. 

“Well, I meant what I said. I- I really didn’t know what was happening to me.” She didn’t know what she’d decided to bring it up. It had been nagging at her for a while, if only minutely. 

“What do you mean?”

“When you walked in,” she frowned, trying to recollect what had happened, “when you walked in, you smelt. But it wasn’t like- a smell smell. It was like, you smelt of an emotion. It’s- it’s how I knew you needed help..when..y’know..”

“I know.” He nodded. 

“I was in the library, and I got this, like- overwhelming sense. It was like I could taste it, and smell it and hear it all at the same time. And all I could see, in my mind, was the word ‘help’.”

“So..you were smelling emotions projecting off of people?” He frowned. 

“And tasting. And hearing. It depended on how strong it was, I think.” She knew she sounded crazy. But Koschei had always taken her seriously, and she didn’t expect this time to be any different. 

“And you’ve gone to the library?”

“I looked for like, two hours. But I haven’t gone back.”

“Well- have you had it since then?” 

“No.” She shook her head. 

“Well, lets look into it.” He shrugged, turning back to his work. “I’m sure there’s something in the library.”

“I hope so.” She murmured, frowning. “It was strange.” 

“Well, it saved my life, so I’m not sure it’s anything to worry about.” He shrugged. 

“Yeah...” Theta hummed. “Maybe.” 


	16. Sixteen

It had been half a year. 

Things had gotten easier. 

Theta was, at least in the day, back to her usual normal self. She would laugh with Koschei, not do any work in the day, and would spend most of her time in her library. 

She read, but not her favourite books. Her most prized books, still sat in her dorm, gathering dust. 

But Theta had discovered, it was a lot easier to just pretend that everything was alright. 

The days passed and she had no problems. 

It was the nights that were the problem. 

She and Koschei both struggled. Some nights she would cry. Some nights he would get angry. Some nights they just paced together, or sat, in silence. 

But they always did it together. And it made it a little easier. 

They’d found nothing to help Koschei with the sounds in her head. And they’d found nothing about Theta’s weird smell thing. She hadn’t had another episode since that day, and part of her wanted to keep it that way. 

“Theta.” Koschei pulled her door open one day, and she glanced up from where she was sat on her windowsill, legs dangling. 

“Yeah?”

“I know this is going to seem really out of the blue, but I’ve been thinking a lot.”

“Yeah, you tend to do that.” She swung her legs inside and closed the window. 

“I mean- I’ve been specifically thinking. About..me. And, what I want.”

“..ok?” She raised an eyebrow, and Koschei sighed deeply, rubbing at a frown line on his forehead with a thumb. 

“I- I don’t think I want to be with Lareth anymore.”

She blinked. That hadn’t been what she was expecting. 

“Oh.” Theta said lamely. “Why not?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for ages. Even when you called me out on it, it’s what I was thinking. How you knew I was lying is a whole other kettle of fish- but you were right. I was. And Lareth doesn’t deserve that.”

“Ok, Kos’, slow down.” She put her hands out. “You’re saying a lot all at once.”

“Sorry. I’ve just- wanted to say it for ages, and it never seemed like a good time. So I’m saying it now.”

“What happened?” She frowned. They’d been together for a little while at that point. Nearing sixty years. “You just fell out of love?”

“I think so.” Koschei sat on her bed. “It’s just- I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.” She came to stand in front of him, crossing her arms over her chest. “You told me, right at the start, that I shouldn’t change who I am, for a girl.”

“I did say that.” Theta confirmed. 

“Right, and I didn’t. For a while. I was who I am around her. But- now, I just don’t feel like I am. I don’t tell her things- I mean I can’t tell her some things. But she’s just so pristine, and good, and- well, she’s perfect. She’s perfect, and I’m not. She deserves someone as perfect as her.”

“So you don’t feel like you’re good enough?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I just don’t think I’m right for her. Lareth’s a good person, she’s kind. She shouldn’t have to be in a relationship with someone who’s not 100% there anymore. For her, I mean.”

“I get you.” She hummed. Koschei searched her face, and there. There it was. That was it. The smell that had been in his glare the day of their fight, there it was again. But stronger. More obvious, and way more open. 

He bit his lip and glanced at his lap. Theta felt vulnerability radiating off of him and she crouched in front of him, taking his hands. 

“What is it, Kos?”

“She’s just-“ he glanced back. “She’s just not what I want. And I’m worried I’ve been looking what I do want in the face for fifty-five years and never acknowledged it.” He muttered. 

Theta frowned, brow furrowing as she looked into the dark depths of his eyes. 

So complex. He was so complex. There was so much in those eyes, so much she understood and so much she could never. It was addicting. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know Koschei as well as she knew herself. She wanted to-

He leant forward, and pressed his lips gently to hers. 

It was fleeting, but so overwhelming and confusing and smelled so strong. He sat back, frown unsure as Theta blinked at him. 

“Kos..”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed immediately. “I should’ve aske-“

“Tell me you’ll break up with Lareth.” She sat up on her knees, and Koschei frowned. 

“Huh?”

“Are you going to break up with Lareth?” She asked again.

“Yeah, I mean- yes. Yeah I-“

She grabbed him by the face, pulling him close and kissing him deeply. 

Theta had discovered she was good at internalising things. That seemed to have included her love for Koschei. 

She supposed it had always been there, she’d just never given herself the chance to explore it. There had been no point, he was in a relationship. They were just friends. 

Fairly touchy friends, at that, but that had been enough to keep her feelings at bay. 

But that tiny kiss, that loss of control that he’d had, even if it had only been momentary, had been enough to open the flood gates. 

Theta kissed him deeply, and Koschei kissed her back just as fiercely. 

She threaded her hands through his hair, swept them over his cheeks and his neck. There was so much skin and so little time to appreciate it all. 

Theta hadn’t kissed anyone before, but she knew this was more than a normal one. 

They weren’t normal, they weren’t just a couple of friends who had grown up and into love with each other. She’d killed for him. He’d put everything on the line for her. They’d hidden things from everyone else, they’d hurt and sobbed together. They’d experienced every emotion under the suns, and they’d done it hand in hand. 

That could never be explained, no matter how many kisses they exchanged. 

Theta surged up, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as Koschei gripped at her waist gently, running his fingers up the fabric of her shirt. 

She pulled away slightly, panting for breath. Koschei’s eyes looked as wide as hers felt, and Theta swallowed tightly. 

“What are we doing?” She asked. 

“What we want too?” Koschei guessed. “If you want this, obviously.”

“I do,” she nodded. “But do you?” The girl frowned. “You’ve never shown any interest in me before. I don’t want to be a rebound.”

“Theta,” Koschei pulled his hands upwards to cup her cheeks, “I never want to hear your name and the word ‘rebound’ in the same sentence again.” He whispered. “You- you are so much more than anything I have ever known. Gods, when I look at you, it’s like I’m looking into the depths of the universe.”

“I don’t deserve you.” She said quietly, cheeks burning under his touch and the weight of his words. 

“No, you deserve so much more.” Theta met him half way, kissing him deeply and rather desperately. 

She wanted to prove her affection, she wanted him to know how she felt, all the things she could never say in words. 

And then there was a knock at her door. 

Theta shot up, slamming her head on her bed post. 

“Ah! Shi-“ she grumbled, rubbing at her forehead. “Coming!” 

Koschei took a few deep breaths and shot her a sympathetic glance, before flattening his hair. Theta stumbled her way over to the door, opening it wide. 

Her stomach dropped. 

Lareth’s sickly sweet smile met her like a punch in the face. 

“Hi, Theta!”

“He- hey Lareth.” Her voice sounded strained. 

“Just wondering if you’d seen- ah! There you are!” She smiled at Koschei as he came to stand behind Theta. 

“Hey.” He smiled tightly. 

“I was going to collect you, from your dorm, but you weren’t in there, so I figured you must be with Theta. Come on!” She smiled stepping back, before glancing at the shorter blond. “Sorry to steal him from you, Theta. It’s our anniversary dinner you see.”

“Ah!” Theta squeaked. “Yeah! Great! I hope you have a great time.” 

“Course it is!” Koschei cleared his throat, shuffling awkwardly past Theta. 

“You didn’t forget, did you?” Lareth smiled gently, wrapping her arms around Koschei’s. 

“Course not!” He scoffed. “I wouldn’t.” He turned back to Theta. “I’ll see you later, Thee.” 

“Bye Theta!”

“Bye.” She croaked. 

-

Koschei slipped back into her room later that night. Theta hopped up from her window, striding over to him.

“You snogged me on your anniversary!” She hissed. 

“I forgot!” He huffed back, closing the door behind him. 

“Did you break up with her?”

“No!” He hissed incredulously. “It’s our anniversary!” 

“Koschei! You cheated on her!”

“I know.” He groaned. “I’m going to do it.”

“When?” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Soon.”

“I’m not kissing you again until you do it.” She said determinedly. Koschei opened his mouth to argue, before shutting it again and huffing. 

The two stood in silence for a moment. Theta wasn’t sure what to say. 

So she didn’t say anything. 

Koschei seemed to have the same idea as he met her halfway. Theta lost herself in him all over again. He seemed to breathe something new into her. New passion. New excitement. New life. 

It was new, and it was good. So good. Almost maddening. 

That was what had been in his glare. 

She could taste it on his tongue. 

It was love. Complicated, burning love. 

And it was enough to drive Theta crazy. 


	17. Seventeen

They hadn’t done anything. 

They’d almost, but Theta had asked if they could slow down. She didn’t want whatever this was to be a haze of passion that ended up meaning nothing to him. 

She wanted him to be sure. 

Koschei had assured her that he was sure, but he understood. 

Besides the fact that it was also illegal, they decided against it. 

And now, Theta wasn’t really sure what to do with herself. 

Where did they go from here? What did this change? 

“Are you going to do it today?” She asked as Koschei came out of the bathroom, rubbing at his hair with a towel. 

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “It’s the day after our anniversary.”

“Yeah, and you’re snogging someone else.” She drawled. 

“You kissed me back.” He pointed out defensively. 

“I literally asked beforehand if you were going to break up with her. I kissed you because you said you were.” She huffed. 

“I know!” He groaned. “Ok- ok. I’ll do it today.”

“You do..you do want to break up with her, right?” She frowned warily. “Because I’m not about to be your bloody mistress Koschei.” She glanced towards the window, and watched a butterfly flutter by. 

“I do!” He reassured immediately. “I do, I swear. You’re not going to be a mistress, Thee, I promise.” 

“Good.” She shrugged, standing up and stepping around him into the bathroom. “Because I’m not going to kiss you until you do it. And I mean it this time.”

“Ok,” he sighed, “I believe you.” 

-

Koschei sat down beside her in their foundation telepathy class, throwing his stuff down and letting out a deep breath. 

He opened his book up, and Theta grabbed the one pen she owned, scribbling on the corner of it. 

‘Did you do it?’ He glanced down at the message, sighing and shaking his head. ‘Why not???’

He picked up his own pen. 

‘I balsed it. I feel so bad saying it to her face, she’s just so sweet.’

‘Oh come on.’

‘I don’t want to hurt her.’

‘You’re going to hurt her more, the longer you hide this.’ 

He glanced at her message, sighing deeply and putting his pen down. It was clear he knew she was right. 

She grabbed his hand and pulled it under the desk, scribbling something onto it. 

He pulled his palm back when she let go, and sighed again, nodding. 

‘JUST DO IT.’ 

-

Theta waited. She did the homework that wasn’t too taxing, and sat about, not knowing really what to do. 

She stood up, tracing her fingers over the spines of her favourites books, that sat on her shelf. Theta sighed. 

“Sorry guys.” She muttered. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to read. Theta wasn’t even sure why she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She thought, maybe she didn’t feel she deserved it. Or maybe it was because they still served as some kind of reminder to who she was before it had happened.

Her innocence and her childhood were in those pages, and Theta was worried if she opened them, she’d lose the little bits she had left. 

Koschei threw open the door and closed it behind him, sinking to the ground with his back against the wood. 

He put his head in his hands, and groaned. 

“What happened?” Theta asked knowingly, sitting besides him. 

“I told her.” He muttered. “She didn’t take it well.”

“What did you say?” She put a gentle hand on his knee. 

“That she deserved someone better than me- because I didn’t feel the way anymore and she shouldn’t have to stay in a relationship with someone who’s not putting in as much as she is.”

“Did she cry?” Theta asked. 

“Yep.” Koschei let out. Theta winced. 

“But, it’s good.” She reassured. “You needed to do it sooner or later. She’ll be ok. You weren’t even together that long- only sixty years.”

“I know.” He muttered. “I just- I still care about her. I never wanted to hurt her.”

“I know.” She said quietly, squeezing his knee. 

“I don’t want anyone to know about...y’know, this.” He gestured at them both, “for a while. Not until she’s over it.”

“Yeah, ok.” Theta nodded. She could understand that. Even if it wasn’t her favourite plan. “Good news is, now you can kiss me without the overwhelming feeling of guilt.” 

“How did you know?” He scoffed, closing his eyes. 

“I could taste it.” She shrugged. Koschei’s brow furrowed, and he opened his eyes again. 

“What?”

“Your guilt. I could taste it when you kissed me.”

“I thought you said you hadn’t had that happen again.” He sat up and forward slightly. 

“Oh- oh yeah. I didn’t even think- yeah, that’s weird.” She frowned, trying to think back. 

She’d tasted a lot on Koschei’s tongue, but none of them actual things she should’ve been able to taste. All emotions. 

Huh. 

“What do you taste now?” Koschei leant forward, pressing a kiss to her lips. Her heart fluttered and she frowned as he leant back, eyebrow raised. 

“Affection.” 

“Now?” He kissed her again, and sat back. 

“Sadness. Over Lareth.” He blinked at her, brow furrowing deeply. 

“Huh.” He regarded, and kissed her again. 

“Confusion. Contemplation. Fascination.” 

“Fascinating.” He breathed. “Theta, if I’m right, I think you’re starting your telepathy.” 

She scoffed. 

“We don’t start learning how to actually do telepathy for another forty years, Koschei. My brains not developed enough for that yet.”

“That’s what I thought, but there’s nothing else it can be.” He sat forward, shuffling closer a little. “Here, try and kiss me without tasting anything. Emotions I mean- just try and block it out.”

He kissed her again and Theta tried to focus on the way he felt physically, against her. There was a niggling, corners and edges of how he felt trying to burrow their way in. But Theta forced them out, before a sharp pain jolted through her head. 

“Ow!” She jolted backwards, holding a hand to her temple. Koschei watched her, utterly fascinated. “Kos’, what’s going on with me?”

“Theta I- I think your brain has forty years development on the rest of us.”


	18. Eighteen

Theta yawned, rubbing at her eyes and frowning in confusion. What was someone doing knocking at her door before she was awake? 

Theta was usually awake really early too. 

“Mm- coming!” She called, sitting up. Koschei sat up next to her, frowning. 

“Who’s that?” He asked, half-asleep. 

“Not a clue.” Theta yawned, pushing herself out of bed and making her way to the door. She opened it, and almost choked. “Lareth! Hey!”

The other girl looked rather dishevelled, with dark bags under her eyes and loose hair. 

“Hi, Theta. Can I..can I come in?” She asked quietly. 

“Uh- yeah. Yeah course you can.” She waved a hand at Koschei from behind the door, and he slipped into the bathroom, locking the door quietly behind him. Theta let Lareth in, who slumped down on her bed, head in her hands. 

“I assume you know..?”

“Yeah.” Theta said quietly, closing her door and wondering why the hell Lareth had decided to come to her. “I’m sorry, Lareth.” She tried her best. 

“I know we’re not really friends, Theta. But I thought I’d come to you, because I know you’ll be honest. My friends are all just telling me what they know I want to hear.” 

Theta grabbed her desk chair and spun it around to face Lareth, doing her best to give her her undivided attention. 

“Ok.” She said softly. “What’s up?” 

“You’re Koschei’s best friend, and I know you probably don’t want to, you know, spill any of his secrets. But I have to know,” Lareth said quietly. “Was it something I did?”

“Huh?”

“Did he break up with me, because of something I did?” She repeated, eyes already clouding with tears. This was not what Theta was expecting, and wasn’t really sure how to deal with it. 

“No.” She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t you. He told me he just..wasn’t 100% in anymore. And, Y’know, he was putting it off for a while because he cares so much about you. He really does love you- just..not like how he used too.” 

“But why did he lose interest?” She asked, upset, but trying her best to contain it. “Was I not interesting enough?”

“Lareth, no.” Theta shook her head firmly. “You mustn’t blame yourself for this, because I mean it when I say you did nothing wrong. Koschei just didn’t want to keep hurting you, because he thought you deserved more than him.”

“So..why then?” She sniffed. “Did..did someone else catch his interest?” Theta trained her face into neutrality, and immediately felt awful for it. “Do you know, if he was cheating on me, Theta?” 

“He wasn’t, Lareth. I promise.” She said calmly. “He cares about you too much to do that.”

“Then why?” She began to cry, and Theta’s hands flapped about a bit, not sure what to do. “I love him, Theta. So much.”

“I know.” She said gently. “I’m sure Lareth. But..if you were still with him when he wasn’t 100% with it, it wouldn’t be fair on you.”

“But it would be easier.”

“Sometimes easy isn’t the right option, though.” She said quietly. Lareth sniffled. 

“I just want him back.” She mumbled. “I put so much into our relationship for him. I don’t feel good enough.”

“But you are.” She reassured, leaning across and squeezing her hand. “You are. And that’s why he did it. Because he can see that you deserve the worlds. You deserve someone who is as mad about you as you are about them.”

“But I don’t want that.” She mumbled. “I just want Koschei.”

-

Theta closed the door, putting her head on it with a deep sigh. 

Koschei let himself out of the bathroom. 

“You ok?” He asked. 

“I feel awful.” She muttered. 

“Me too.” He sighed. “But, I did the right thing. I shouldn’t have stayed with her. It wasn’t fair.”

“Yeah, but that’s not what I mean.” Theta turned to look at him, back to the door. “Should we be- y’know, rushing into anything? You only just broke up, it just doesn’t feel right.”

“Well,” he crossed his arms over his chest. “You want too, and I do too, so I see no issue with it.”

“I just feel guilty.” She sighed. Koschei made up the space between them in two easy strides, raking her hands. 

“So do I. But this- this is good. What we have, what we’ve found in one another, is a good thing. And we shouldn’t let it die, for someone who’s not involved anymore.”

“Should it be as all-encompassing as that though?” Theta asked, looking at their joined hand. 

“You are. To me.” He hummed, pulling her a little closer. 

“That’s not healthy, Koschei.” She scolded, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck as she said it. 

“It’s an addiction.” He shrugged. “Not something I can help.”

“God, you a poet now or something?” She scoffed gently, as his fingers came to play with her hair. 

“Could be.” He hummed. “Should I compare thee to a butterfly? What with such beauty, and such delicate flight? It is one thing to blossom, and another to end my plight.”

“You just come up with that?” 

“Maybe I should actually be a poet.” He laughed quietly. Theta scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

-

Theta prodded at her lunch, watching the table chat away. Koschei was besides her, scribbling some homework down as he ate his lunch with his other hand.

She glanced across as Lareth. Her friends were all scowling in his general direction, and Lareth herself was staring at him, with heartbreak in her eyes. Theta could smell it. 

She nudged Koschei, and he glanced up, moving his head close as she muttered into his ear. 

“I can smell Lareth’s heartbreak.” 

He frowned, moving backwards to regard her. He shook his head. 

“It just doesn’t make sense. How are you doing that?”

Theta shrugged. 

Sanfej sat down opposite them, looking extremely pale. 

“Are you ok, Sanfej? You look sick.” Theta frowned. The boy looked up from his food, eyes slightly wide. The table dropped their talking to listen intently, curiosity and worry bubbling on Theta’s tongue. 

“A little ways out,” he said, voice weak, “they’ve found...Time Lord remains. They..they think it’s Torvic’s.” 

-

Theta had managed to stay calm for maybe two minutes. Long enough that when she said she felt sick, it didn’t look all that suspicious. 

She bolted towards the communal toilets, throwing open one of stalls and doubling over. 

Koschei held her hair and rubbed her back as Theta emptied the contents of her lunch and breakfast into the toilet. 

“It’s ok, it’s alright.” He murmured, as Theta spat bile into the bowl. “You did so well there. You did well.” 

Theta sat, face pale and sweaty. She sat back slowly, back hitting the opposite wall to Koschei. 

“Koschei, we’re going to get caught.” She whispered. He immediately reached forward, and took her hand. 

“No, we’re not. We’re ok. This changes nothing.”

“This changes everything!” She hissed slightly. “They’re going to suspect everyone of murder!”

“And we know what we’ll say.” He murmured. “We have alibis. We have our stories. They have as much reason to suspect us as they do everyone else here.”

“What if we left something behind?” Theories and scenarios were running through her mind a minute. 

“We didn’t.” He said firmly. 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I know, we didn’t.” Koschei’s voice was harder. It was always harder when they talked about this. He was always different. Always so sure, always so much of a leader. 

Theta felt she had no option but to follow. 

“What if I slip up?” She muttered. He leant forward, taking her other hand as well.

“You won’t.” He muttered firmly. “I won’t let you.”

“What if they separate us?”

“You’re clever, Theta.” He tapped her temple gently. “You’re smart. You’re good. Don’t doubt yourself. If anyone can outsmart them, it’s you and I.” 

Theta swallowed tightly, bile burning at her throat as she sat back, leaning her head against the walls and sighing deeply. 

“I thought this was over.” She whispered, voice strained and pained. 

“You’ve done it so far, Thee. You can do it for a little longer.” 

“I know.” She hated herself for it. “I just don’t want too. It would be easier.”

“Well sometimes easy isn’t the right option.” He reiterated. Theta laughed, dryly and without humour. 

“That’s a good one. Come up with that yourself?”

“No. The smartest person I’ve ever met said it.” 


	19. Nineteen

They came the next day. Theta’s class watched from the grass bank that they’d all sat on, as two police officers set up camp in their headmasters office. 

“They won’t get anything.” Rethra shook her head. “No one murdered him.” 

“How do you know that?” Sanfej sighed. “He’s the only one that went missing, there’s no one else it can be.”

“It’s probably some homeless guy, who just..died of dehydration or something.” She shrugged. 

“Oh yeah, and then conveniently fell into a fire that burnt his body to a crisp.” Theta winced at his words. “Look, wether or not it’s Torvic, there’s been a murder.” He sighed. 

“Yeah, but do you really think it’s someone at the academy that did it?” Koschei frowned. 

“Well, he wasn’t exactly popular.” Pewthru pointed out. “He was pretty polarising.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t exactly have enemies either.” Koschei shrugged. “My bet? He went off grounds, and some homeless guy got him.” 

“But a random homeless man has no motive.” Kathla argued. 

“But they’re a little crazy.” Theta muttered. “You’re not homeless on Gallifrey without not being able to fit into society. It’s not like we have a shortage on homes, or jobs.” 

“I suppose.” Kathla hummed. “But, like, this is Torvic we’re talking about. He’s strong. How likely is it that someone would win in a fight with him?”

“There might not have been a fight.” Rethra shrugged. “Maybe he was caught from behind.” 

“Look,” Sanfej interjected, “can we please stop talking about the logistics of my best friends murder. Bottom line is- if it is him, and even if it’s not, the person needs to be found, and brought to justice.” 

Theta swallowed tightly. 

“You’re right.” She said. 

-

Her class stood outside the office, nervously awaiting their turn to be called in and questioned. 

Theta was fidgeting nervously, and Koschei took her hand. Everyone else was fairly pre-occupied with chatting amongst themselves, so no one noticed when he moved close and murmured into her ear. 

“It’ll be ok. I’m right here.”

“But you won’t when they talk to me.”

“No,” he hummed. “I’ll be right outside this door. And you’ll smell me, won’t you?”

“It’s not something I can control.” She pointed out quietly. 

“The point still stands. I’m no more than two metres away, even if you can’t see me.” 

She squeezed his hand. 

“Will you be alright?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Don’t worry about me. Just focus on yourself.” 

-

Theta was called in first. She sat down, making a concerted effort not to show any nervous ticks she might have. 

There were two men sat across from her, decked i red robes and serious faces. 

One had files in front of him, and the atmosphere made Theta think this was going to be more an interrogation, rather than a questioning. 

“Miss, Theta.” The one with the files adjusted them. “That’s not your name, is it?”

“No, sir.” She said calmly. She could do this. She could answer questions about herself. 

“So, why do you choose to go by it?” He asked. 

“Because I don’t like my name.” She responded, levelled. “I think you’ll find, no one, at least in my class really uses their real names. It’s just a thing.” 

“So, you’ve got quite the community.” The other said. “Are you tight?” 

“I respect them all. They’re not all my friends.” She shrugged a little. 

“No.” The one with the files glanced down at the paper. “You seem to only have one friend. It seems, Miss Theta, that you have a particularly close relationship with Koschei Oakdeown.”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded. “He’s my best friend.”

“Does it often feel like it’s the two of you against the world?” He asked. Theta didn’t like where this was going. 

“No.” She lied. 

“Tell me,” he sighed slightly, adjusting the paper again, “Are you in love with Koschei?” 

“I care for him a great deal.” Theta rebutted. 

“That wasn’t what he asked.” The other pointed out. Theta hesitated. 

“No. I’m not.”

“But you love him?”

“Yes.” She said honestly. 

“I wonder, Miss Theta,” the one with the paper stared at her. “How much do you love him? Enough to cover up the murder of his childhood bully with him?” 

Theta narrowed her eyes slightly. 

“Respectfully, sir, you’re not allowed to lead me.” He seemed a little surprised, and raised an eyebrow. “And Koschei didn’t murder anyone.” 

“How do you know?” The other asked. “Because you know who really did it?”

“Leading, sir.” She settled at the table. “And no. Koschei is a wonderful person, and I can tell you for a fact that he would never do anything like that.” 

They were silent for a moment. 

“Do you love him so much to murder for him?” The one with the paper asked. Theta scoffed. 

“I didn’t murder anyone.”

“May I say, respectfully,” the other stared at her. Theta didn’t let it put her on edge. “You’re awfully calm, considering the situation, Miss Theta.”

“I can’t win.” She shrugged lightly. “If I was incredibly emotional you’d tell me I was for too upset over the death of someone I’ve never liked.” 

The one with the paper held eye contact with her for a moment, before glancing down and pulling the paper together. Theta didn’t let it get on her nerves. 

“Your responses have been acknowledged Miss Theta, but now I must ask you to sit back and let us find the truth.” He stood from the table. 

“Sorry?” She blinked, sitting up straight. 

“I’ll be looking into your mind, just to make sure your story and the statement you gave about where you were that night all checks out. Nothing to worry about.” 

“Wait, now hang on.” She frowned, nervously. “You’re not allowed to do that, I haven’t given you my consent. That’s against the law.” 

“Miss Theta, we are the law.” The other, who was still sat down, said. She glowered at him, before looking back at the one who was coming towards her. 

“This won’t hurt a bit.” And he leant down, and pressed his fingers to Theta’s temple. 

She shut her eyes and focused. 

It felt awful. She felt violated, having someone else in her head when she hadn’t let them in. Having someone force their way into her thoughts was an awful experience, and it did hurt. 

She could feel his presence, it was sharp to the touch and all kinds of slimy. She felt him start to dig, and Theta let anger consume her. 

Everywhere he went she cut him off. Stepped on him and crushed his presence to a mere powder with her foot. She forced him backwards and warded him off, snarling and threatening. 

She would not let this man get what he wanted. 

It was not his to take. 

He jumped backwards and Theta stood up, eyes opening. The police officer looked rather shocked, eyes wide. 

“H- how did you do that?” He muttered. “You shouldn’t be able to do that for another sixty years. You- you can’t do that.”

“And you can’t do that.” She snapped. “Respectfully, /sir/, I know the law, and I can tell you that what you just did was no where in the lines of it. So I would strongly advise you not to do that to any of my classmates, /sir/, because they will tell me. 

And trust me, when I say that I know people. I could have you and your entire division crushed like a flea, so please, take my word for it when I say that if you try that again, your indiscretion and incredibly illegal ways, will be proved to the public.” And it was true. Koschei’s father owned estates, he was incredibly powerful. One word to him could send these two police officers down a very, very long way. 

“Miss Theta, are you threatening me?” The one with the paper leaned over the table, narrowing his eyes at her. Theta leant the rest of the way, inches from his face as she stared coldly at him. 

“Yes.” She growled. 

And then she walked out. 

-

Koschei found her in the library later that day. He rushed over, and she glanced up. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, sitting besides her and taking her hand worriedly. “How did it go? I was worried about you, they both looked really shaken after you’d left.” 

“No, it went ok.” She nodded. “Well...something happened.” 

Koschei’s eyes darkened. 

“What happened?”

“One of them, went in my head.” His eyes widened. 

“What? He can’t do that- that’s illegal.”

“I know.” She nodded. He squeezed her hand. 

“Did he see anything?” 

“No,” she shook her head. “I kicked him out.”

Her friend blinked at her. 

“What?” 

“I forced him out.” 

“H- how did you do that?” He murmured, confused. 

“I don’t know,” Theta shrugged. “He was just..kinda in there. And so I forced him out. Told him if he did it to anyone else I’d get him and his buddy fired.” 

Koschei stared at her for a moment, apparently dumbfounded. 

“Theta, are you telling me you overpowered a Time Lord?” She shook her head, closing her book. 

“No, not overpowered. Just..kicked him out of my head.” 

“Theta, I think you’re a lot more powerful than we thought.” He muttered. “You won a telepathic battle with a time lord. Like, an actual time lord.”

She just shrugged a little bit. It didn’t seem like a big deal, she was sure Koschei was just over-exaggerated. 

“He didn’t do it to you, did he?” She asked, squeezing his hand. Koschei shook himself out of his daze. 

“No, no. He just asked me where I’d been that night, and if I’d seen anything suspicious.” 

Theta huffed. 

“That’s not fair. He properly interrogated me. Accused me of covering up for you, said I did it.”

“And you didn’t tell him anything? Not even when he was in your head?”

“No.” She frowned. “I was pissed off, I made sure I wasn’t giving him anything.”

Koschei pulled her close, pressing a firm and deep kiss to her lips. Theta blinked, dazed as he pulled away, face cupped between his hands. 

“Kos- I- I thought you didn’t want anyone to know. We could be seen here.” She pointed out. Koschei grinned at her. 

“I know, but you’re just-“ he kissed her nose. “You’re just so brilliant, Theta!” He kissed her forehead and pecked her lips again, as she laughed, confused and dazed with all the attention. 

“Get off, sap.” She scoffed. 

“You are brilliant.” He repeated. “That mind, god knows what it could do.”


	20. Twenty

Theta lay awake for hours that night. She faced the wall and thought over the events of the day, thinking Koschei was peacefully asleep next to her. 

Clearly he thought the same thing, as he, after four hours, slipped out of bed, and got up. 

Theta thought about letting him know she was awake, before deciding he was probably just going to the bathroom, and that it wasn’t worth worrying him. 

So Theta waited for his warmth to return, her back to the rest of the room. He didn’t come back though, and she frowned. 

She could hear him pacing. Theta slowly rolled over to look at him. 

Koschei was pacing her floor, hitting his temple with the heel of his hand over and over again, muttering to himself words that Theta couldn’t hear. 

At this distressing scene, Theta sat up. 

“Koschei..?” She said quietly. He didn’t acknowledge her, or hadn’t heard her, as his incessant punching only got harder. “Koschei.” She repeated, firmer this time. 

He ran a hand through his hair, cursing at himself as he hit himself again. Theta pushed herself out of bed, standing herself in front of him. 

When he turned around and found himself face to face with Theta, he jumped slightly, eyes returning to their darkness immediately afterwards. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked gently. Theta didn’t miss how he glanced at her lips, as if reading them was the only way he could understand what she was saying. 

“The noise.” He muttered. “The drumming.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s so loud, Theta. I’m- I’m so sick and tired of it.” 

“I know.” She went to take his hand, but Koschei stepped around her, continuing his pacing. 

“I’ll rip my own brain out at this rate.” He spat. This wasn’t new. 

Koschei never cried over the noise in his head. He only got angry. It usually went one of two ways. He’d either sit, brooding quietly and tapping the rhythm angrily on whatever was near him. Or he’d do this- stalk around and snap and maybe yell, depending on the time of day. 

“Koschei, it’s alright.” She said reassured firmly, and he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“No!” He snapped, “no it’s not. None of this is alright!” 

“I know.” She said quietly. Koschei opened his eyes to glower at her. 

“No, no you don’t. You’re always saying that! You’re always saying you know, that you understand. But you don’t. You don’t get it Theta. I bet you don’t even believe me.” He growled, stepping close to her. 

“I do believe you.” She said, levelled. 

“Why me?” He huffed, wheeling away from her as he raged, burning up like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. “Why do I get stuck with this?! It’s not fair!”

“Koschei, you need to calm down. It’s late.” Theta said gently. 

“Can’t you hear it??” He rounded on her again, eyes wide as he took her by the upper arms, shaking slightly. “Listen- just- just listen.” 

“Kos’ I-“

“No!” He cut her off with a bark, holding a finger between the two of them. “Just- just listen. You’ll hear it. You’ll see I’m not crazy, just listen.” 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I can’t hear it, I’m sorry.”

“It’s there!” He shoved away from her, hitting his head again. “It’s real! I’m not crazy.”

“No ones calling you crazy Koschei.” 

“You think I am.” He snarled. 

“No I don’t.” She said softly. Koschei paused, facing the wall away from her. He didn’t say anything for a moment, before he pulled his arms up, burying his face in his hands. 

“Maybe I am crazy.” His voice was so much more broken than Theta had been expecting. It hurt her to know how much he was hurting, and hurt to know there was so little she could do. 

She crossed the room, hugging him tightly from behind. Koschei relaxed into her touch, shuddering slightly as he began to cry. 

“You’re not crazy.” She repeated. “I promise, Koschei. I will fix this for you. I’ll fix this.” 

“How?” He whispered. 

“I’ll think of something. I promise.”

-

Theta went back to her dorm between classes, meaning just to pick up her telepathy book that she’d forgotten, as per usual. 

She had around fifteen minutes, so Theta was in no rush. 

Which turned out to be a good thing, when there was a knock at her door. Theta opened it, wondering who it could be at such an awkward time. 

It was Lareth. 

“Oh- Lareth. Hey.” She blinked. “You alright?”

“Theta.” The other girls lip quivered. She looked like she’d been crying for a while. “Please- please teach me.” 

“...teach you?” She blinked. 

“You.” Lareth sniffled. “You are everything I’ve ever wanted to be.” 

Theta certainly hadn’t been expecting that. 

“What?” She frowned, leaving her dorm room and closing the door behind her. The corridor was deserted after all, with everyone trying to get to their classes.

“You’re so..unapologetically you, Theta. You’re smart, and you’re blunt, and you’re so funny- and- and you never do your hair or your make up but you’re so beautiful. You’re just so- so imperfect, Theta. You’re everything I’ve wanted to be. It’s so easy for you to just be who you are. And I want that.” She sniffled. 

“I- I mean, I appreciate it, Lareth, but where is this coming from?” Theta was utterly dumbfounded. The other girl glanced away from her, and then back again. 

“Maybe- maybe if I was more like you, Koschei wouldn’t have left me.” 

Theta sighed, taking her hands. 

“Lareth, come on. You’re better than this. You’re strong, you’re so smart. You’re- you’re good. You shouldn’t go wallowing and wanting to change who you are for some boy.”

“Wouldn’t you? For Koschei?” She asked. The question took her aback, and Theta answered after a pause. 

She wasn’t sure if it was entirely the truth or not. 

“No. I wouldn’t. Because he loves me for who I am, and who I was when we met. That’s why I’m his friend. It’s the same with you. He got with you for who you were, changing that now isn’t going to make him like you anymore. It’s only going to create a facade that will break.” 

Lareth sighed deeply. 

“But I’ve already been living under a facade for years, Theta.” She sniffled. “How do you live without one?”

“I’m not the person to ask, because I use one too.” That news seemed to take the other blond by surprise. “I have my demons, Lareth. I’m not some untouchable, thick-skinned, confident badass. I’m as flawed as anyone else. As you, or Koschei.

But those flaws are what makes you, you. You shouldn’t start wishing for someone else’s, for the sake of a boy. Because you’ll never know what you’ll end up with.”

Lareth looked dumbfounded for a moment. 

“What are your demons, Theta?” 

“They’re dark. And constant. I wouldn’t recommend wishing for anything of the sort.” And she left Lareth, looking rather confused and concerned in the corridor, to think about what she was really asking. 

-

“Theta!” She almost took Koschei, who’d been leaning over her and shaking her by the shoulders, out as she lurched upwards. 

She let out a little cry, panting and shaking. 

“You’re alright.” He murmured, rubbing at her back. 

“I’m gonna be sick.” She whispered. 

Koschei was out of bed as soon as she was, the two of them rushing to the toilet. Theta dropped to her knees and brought up her dinner, Koschei holding her hair back and whispering any comfort he could think of to her.

She whimpered into the bowl, stomach aching with her frequent retching. Theta spat up bile. 

“There you go,” Koschei murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple. “That’s it, you’re alright.” 

“It hurts.” She mumbled, flushing the toilet when she was sure she was done. 

Koschei sighed, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her gently upwards. 

“I know, it’s alright.” He helped her back to bed, and Theta drank a little water. 

Koschei flipped the pillows over and Theta curled up into his side, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. 

“When will this end, Koschei?” She whispered. “When will you and I have one night where we both sleep? Like..normal people.”

“We will, I promise you.” He hummed above her. “One day, my love.” 

Theta paused, cheeks flushing lightly. 

“You’ve never called me that before.” She pointed out quietly. “I like it.” 

“I like you.” He smiled a little into her hair. “But I mean it, Theta. Things will be ok.” 

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

Koschei pressed a fierce kiss to the top of her head. 

“This is one, I very much intend to keep.” 

She smiled, if only a little. 

“Ok. I believe you.”


	21. Twenty-one

“Theta!” She jumped at the windowsill, and she glanced up. 

“You know you really shouldn’t yell when you’re coming in my room.” She scolded as Koschei strode across the room and sat beside her. “I could’ve fallen out.”

“Then I would’ve caught you.” He shrugged. “Look, I got you something.” 

Theta blinked. 

“Why?”

“Because I realised I never..y’know..properly courted you, like I was supposed too.” He shrugged. Theta scoffed. 

“Kos’, do I look like the kind of person who wants to be properly courted?”

“No. That’s why I didn’t get you flowers like I was supposed too.” Her interest peaked as he got something out of his pocket for her. 

He passed it across, and watched her reaction carefully. 

It was a little paper butterfly, decorated rather messily. It looked a little flimsy, and it was obvious it had taken a lot of folding attempts to get right, but Theta gasped happily. 

“I love it!” She grinned, holding it close to her chest. “Thank you Koschei.”

“That’s not the best part though,” he said.“Pull the wings towards one another, with your pointer finger and your thumb.”

Theta frowned, doing what she was told and glancing between the butterfly and Koschei. 

“Ok, now let go.” Theta let go and the paper butterfly sprung back into position, soaring across the room. 

Theta lit up like a candle, grinning widely. 

“That’s awesome!” She jumped up and crossed the room, picking up the paper and doing it again. “How did you learn how to do this?”

“There was a book on it in the library. Stumbled across it by accident, and I thought you’d like it.” He shrugged a little, watching fondly as Theta followed the paper across the room, before sending it soaring again. “I’m sure this is going to give you years of entertainment.”

“I’m very easy to please.” She grinned, before picking up the butterfly and slowly turning it over in her fingers. “I’ve never been given a present before.” She admitted softly. 

Koschei stood and crossed the room to her, bringing a gentle hand to her cheek. 

“I’m glad to have been the first.” 

She leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, flooding with gratitude and her affections. 

“Your my first when it comes to a lot of things.” She admitted. 

“I’m honoured.” He pressed a small kiss to her forehead. 

“You’re such a romantic, Koschei.” She teased lightly, turning away from him to prop the butterfly up on her shelf. 

“Maybe you’re not enough of a romantic.”

“Sure.” She smiled. “Maybe.”

-

Theta went wandering that afternoon. She took her shoes off and strolled around the grounds, picking at flowers and greenery. 

She picked up blood orange and bright yellow flowers, picked up thick and tall blades of red grass. She brought them back to her dorm and tied them up with a string. 

It looked like a sunset. 

Koschei reminded her of a sunset. 

Warm, almost too warm. Burning brightly with such bold colours, and such a brilliance that could only be seen if one properly took the time to look. So unreachable and so encompassing. 

Leaving her warm, but cold that the certainty of night would soon be upon her. 

She knocked on Koschei’s door at sunset, and he let her in with a confused frown. 

“I know you’re the one supposed to be doing the courting, and I know you didn’t think I’d like flowers, but I got you some, cuz they reminded me of you.” She held out her makeshift bouquet and Koschei blinked, confused and pleasantly surprised. 

“Theta,” he said gently, “these are beautiful. I didn’t even realise we had these flowers.”

“You like them?” She smiled. 

“Yeah. I do.” He grinned, leaving them with her as he emptied his pencil pot of pencils and went into the bathroom, filling it up with water and coming back. 

He took the flowers from her and set them in the pot, smiling proudly at them. 

“They’re amazing Theta. Thank you.” 

“It’s ok.” She leant forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, Koschei smiling gently. 

“You and me, we’re going to make a life together.” He said gently, wrapping an arm around her waist. Theta sighed contentedly, watching the sun set. 

Night would come soon, and Theta would wake up, shaking and crying. 

But for now, it was ok. It was warm and comforting. 

“Are we?” She asked. 

“Yeah. We’ll graduate and we’ll leave together, Theta. In a TARDIS of our own.”

“And we’ll see the whole universe.” She recounted. 

“Every star.” He nodded. 

-

Theta had some flowers left over, that hadn’t fit into her messy bouquet. And anything was better than sleep. 

So as Koschei showered, Theta set about threading these flowers together. It was delicate work, but she had nimble fingers, so it wasn’t all that difficult. 

Koschei came out of the shower and frowned over her shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” He asked. 

“Nothing.” She shrugged. “Just, leaving a reminder.” 

“Don’t be up too late.” He put a hand on her shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. “I’ll wait for you.”

“I won’t be up much later, I’m almost done.” She reassured, threading the last of the flowers together. Theta grabbed her pen and a scrap of paper that she had torn from her work book, scribbling a note down. 

Ten minutes later, Theta had clambered into bed with Koschei. 

And if anyone asked why there was a crown of blood red grass and warm flowers outside of a door, she didn’t know the answer. 

And if Lareth woke up in the morning to find it, accompanied with a note, that said: 

‘Chin up.’ 

Theta knew nothing about it. 


	22. Twenty-two

“Theta, come on.” Koschei shook her awake, and Theta blinked blearily, batting him away. 

“What?” She whined, rolling to smush her face into the pillow. “It’s early.”

“It’s lessonless.” He said fondly, rubbing her back. “I have an idea.” 

“Does it involve me getting out of bed?”

“Yes.” He laughed. “But trust me, it’ll be worth it. Come on, have a shower.” 

Theta sighed. She wasn’t really upset. She loved lessonless days, and now Koschei wasn’t with Lareth anymore, she had him all to herself. 

“Alright, fine.” She pushed herself out of bed and towards the shower, shooting a noncommittal glare Koschei’s away. She only got a wide smile back. 

-

She and Koschei wandered for a long while. She had no idea where they were going, but she didn’t mind. Theta was quite content strolling, the suns blazing, hand in hand with Koschei. 

“Here we are.” He stopped in front of a red field. It was just like the other ones, and she raised an eyebrow. 

“Why did we come all the way out here for a red field, when there’s one just outside my window?”

“Because no ones going to come looking for us here.” He explained, leading her into the long grass. 

And it was long. Theta wasn’t incredibly tall, even if she was quite lanky, and most of it came up to her elbow. 

Koschei walked along, hand weaving over the red grass. 

“Y’know, I have fields like this. My dad does. But taller.”

“When are you going to go back home?” She asked. Koschei visited his parents twice a year. Theta hadn’t gone back to the barn yet. Maybe one day, when she was stronger. 

“Oh I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Soon. You could come, y’know.” He always offered. Theta never wanted to intrude. 

“Best not intrude.”

“You’re going to have to meet them at some point. They’re not entirely convinced I haven’t made you up.” He scoffed. Theta laughed. 

“Well that’s how I like to be. How do you know you haven’t made me up?”

“Because if I had made you up, I would’ve made you a lot less stubborn and a lot less reckless.” She scrunched up her nose. 

“You wouldn’t be left with much. I’d be dead boring.”

“This is true.” He admitted, pausing in the grass. He let go of her hand and Theta looked at him, wondering if something was wrong. Then he launched himself at her. “Tag!” 

Koschei was off across the field and Theta gasped, immediately going after him. 

She laughed, jumping over the wash of red and attempting to catch up with her friend. Koschei was quick, but Theta was quicker. 

She’d always been the one who ran. Koschei preferred to use wit. But wit was not going to help him in an open field game of Tag. 

As he found out when Theta slapped him on the back, and immediately turned ninety degrees, yelling a rushed, “tag!” Over her shoulder. 

She heard Koschei curse and she laughed, sprinting her way across the wash of scarlet. 

Theta ran, hearts pounding in her ears and breath short. Her legs never failed her, never got caught like they did usually. She was good at running. 

She should do it more often. 

Theta jogged to a halt when she got tired, turning around in a circle. As expected, Koschei was nowhere to be seen. 

Ok, maybe he could use wit. 

She just had to figure out which direction he was planning on attacking from. 

She held her breath, and listened for any anomalies. But he was smarter than that, and he’d left none. 

Theta thought she might have more chance if she just ran again. But maybe that’s what he wanted her to do. 

She did the math. 

Including probability, there was almost a 1 in 10 chance of her going in any direction. And given trajectory and momentum, as well as her own speed and Koschei’s reaction time, there was a pretty slim chance of her getting out unscathed. 

So Theta stayed still, and waited for him to make a sound. 

She held her own breath, and stood deathly still, listening for the wind. 

And it came from behind her. Theta ducked and Koschei shot over her, rolling over in the dirt and pushing up back on his feet without a stumble. 

He turned, smiling, almost proudly at her. 

“You’re sharp off the mark today, Theta. Putting that brain to good use.” 

“You’re sharper. So I’m assuming you’ve thought of something I haven’t. That there’s maths I haven’t accounted for.” 

“Well,” he shrugged, “naturally.” He slowly began to circle her, and Theta followed his direction. 

“Put me out of my misery then. What haven’t I thought about?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“The direction of the wind.” He stopped where he was, just as a gust of wind blew her hair into her eyes. 

“Oh shi-“

She was flat on her back in a second, Koschei grinning a grin way too large on top of her. 

He tapped her head. 

“Tag.” 

She groaned, head butting back against the ground. 

“You’re no fun. Why have you got to outsmart me all the time?”

“Trust me, Thee, it’s not something I’m trying to do. It’s just happening.” He smirked, and Theta shoved him off playfully.

“Oh get off you big oaf.”

“Oi!” He huffed. “Oaf??”

“Oh yeah.” Theta grinned, propping herself up on an elbow. “Great big stinking one.” 

“You’re such a child.” Koschei rolled his eyes fondly, settling in the grass next to her. Theta grinned, rolling over to press a small kiss to his lips. 

“You’re the one that started the game of Tag.”

“Well, somethings got to exercise that big brain of yours.” He murmured, flicking her temple lightly. “Since the Academy clearly isn’t doing it for you.”

“Don’t you think you might be overplaying how big my brain is, Kos?” She scoffed, sitting back slightly. “Cuz, you’re smarter than me.”

“Well yeah, but you’re more powerful. That’s what I reckon, anyway.” He explained. 

“I’m not sure about that.” She shrugged. Her brain didn’t feel particularly powerful. It was just kind of..doing what it was meant too. 

“You have a tendency to doubt your own ability though, Thee.’” Koschei pointed out gently, moving a lock of hair behind her shoulder and away from her face. She didn’t reply, only moving back to kiss him. 

Koschei placed a gentle hand on her cheek, thumb stroking over her cheekbone as Theta sighed contentedly into his lips. 

This was what she was supposed to be doing. This was what she wanted. Just the two of them, surrounded by nature and the epitome of beauty that Gallifrey had to offer. 

She pulled away a little bit, smiling at him. Koschei dropped his hand from her face as Theta moved, sighing gently and touching their foreheads together. 

She thought nothing of it for a moment, before an overwhelming smell took over her senses. No- no not a smell. A feeling. 

It was a feeling in her head. She could feel it surging through her brain like someone had opened the floodgates. 

There was too much to acknowledge all at once. 

Affections, regret, brilliance, thoughts that Theta was sure wasn’t hers, and the niggling of something that she didn’t recognise. 

Koschei seemed to feel it too as the two of them jolted away at the same time, sitting up and holding a hand to their heads. 

“What was that?” Koschei blinked. 

“I- I don’t know.” Theta murmured, as everything that had flooded in left just as quickly, like someone had pulled the plug. It was incredibly disorientating. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I just did.”

“Theta- did we- did you...are we...was that..?”

“No- can’t be.” She shook off. “Unless it can be- but that’s not...huh.”

“Should we do it again?” He asked. Theta frowned. 

“I don’t know. If that was..what we think it was, I’m pretty sure there’s a reason we do it in class first. We might hurt ourselves if we do it unsupervised.” She wasn’t usually careful, but even Theta could tell this was important. And not something they should rush. 

“Yeah, no you’re right.” He shook off. “You don’t think we really just...do you?”

“Opened a telepathic link?” Theta frowned deeply. “I don’t know.” 

Koschei stood up, holding out a hand. Theta took it firmly and he hauled her up. 

“Library?” He asked. 

“Library.” 


	23. Twenty-three

They found a little bit. 

It was more just generic books on telepathy, nothing hugely helpful. They learnt that physical contact helped telepathic connections immensely, but all Time Lords eventually got to the stage where they didn’t have to use it. 

They learnt it was very important to be aware and conscious of ones thoughts and the barriers they put around them, as often, people could pry if brains weren’t protected. Similarly, if someone were experiencing an extreme emotion, someone might be able to sense it coming from them, which also gained them easy access to their head, if one wasn’t careful. 

Theta supposed that was what she was doing. Sensing emotions from afar. 

“But you couldn’t, y’know, go in someone head?” Koschei frowned, and Theta shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I wouldn’t know how to.” 

They learnt that doing such a thing, wether it was subconscious or not, often took attention from other parts of the brain, like the filter. 

Which explained Theta’a bluntness, and the fact that she couldn’t stop saying the first thought that crossed her mind when she’d fought with Koschei all those months ago. 

“Well, I feel a little more informed.” Koschei hummed, as the two wandered back to their dorms in the darkness of dusk, arms swinging together. 

“Me too.” Theta agreed. 

“But it still doesn’t explain, why we were able to do what we did this morning.” He frowned slightly in the little light, and she shrugged a little. 

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out. I mean- if our brains are as developed as you think they are, maybe we’re just ahead of everyone else. Maybe the part of our brains that deals with telepathy is already developing.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” He frowned. “But by such a long time, I don’t know. It’s just strange. Like we were chosen for a reason- or something. Do you know what I mean?”

“I’m sure it’s just coincidence.” Theta shrugged off. “I feel like most people are friends with others of similar intelligence, anyway.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” He nodded, opening the door to the dorm building and beginning up the stairs. 

“I wouldn’t worry about it. As long as we’re careful, we’ll be fine.” Theta decided, and Koschei nodded in agreement. 

-

Theta prodded at her breakfast, listening absently at the conversations around the table. 

Lareth was talking about the crown of flowers she’d found at her door. Rethra was talking about the High Council threatening yet another war, and how they’d all be drafted if it started. Pewthru was rambling about his long lost sister again. 

Sanfej sat down opposite Theta, frowning a little. 

“Theta, the headmaster wants to see you after breakfast.” He said, almost suspiciously. Everyone hushed, and glanced at her. Koschei frowned at her. 

“What? What did you do?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head. “I actually haven’t done anything this time, I was with you all of yesterday.” 

“What does he want then?” Sanfej frowned in contemplation. Theta huffed. 

“Your guess is as good as mine. I bet I’m in trouble though.” 

-

Theta headed down to the headmasters office after breakfast, and knocked on the door. 

He let her in. 

Mr Delathorpo was a grey man, in most aspects of the word. He was old, rather bland, and incredibly tired with Theta’s nuisance. 

Surprisingly however, sat beside him, were the two police officers from Torvic’s murder investigation. 

This was it. The jig was up. She’d been caught. They were going to take her away and she’d never see Koschei again and she’d live the rest of her days behind bars and-

“Theta, I know you’ve met Mr Kethar and Mr Trithua?” Her headmaster offered her a seat opposite the three of them, and Theta took it, trying her best to swallow her nerves and the sudden overwhelming urge to cry. 

“Yes.” She got out, quietly. 

“Well, rather unfortunately,” Mr Delathorpo sat opposite her, “I can’t say we have any more news on Torvic’s case. But I have been told these men became aware of your developed intelligence during your questioning.”

What? They wouldn’t have told him they tried to dig into her mind, would they? It was illegal. 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, sir.” She frowned. 

“It became obvious through your answers that your mind exceeds that of your age, Miss Theta.” Mr Kethar, the one with the paper, made eye contact with her as he explained politely. There was something deep dug into his eyes. Malice. On the tip of her tongue. What was he playing at?

“And I have come to wonder,” Mr Delathorpo laced his fingers together and put them on his mahogany desk. “Why this is not reflected in your schoolwork, Theta?”

“Academics aren’t something I particularly enjoy. I lose patience, and my attention goes rather quickly, sir.” She said quietly. “Sorry, excuse me if this seems rude, but if this is a meeting about my school work, why are there two police officers here?”

“To fill in any gaps that I might have missed, in what I’ve been informed.” Her headmaster explained. 

No. That wasn’t it. Something was wrong. 

Theta became hyper aware of her body language. She dropped her shoulders, relaxed her arms into a less defensive position, and swung one leg over the other. 

If they were going to monitor her, she may as well give them a lot. They could psychoanalyse her all they wanted. They could trick her into a false sense of security, and they could suspect her of his murder. But she would not give them any evidence. 

“Do you often stay indoors to do your homework, after hours, Theta?” Mr Delathorpo asked. 

“Yes sir.” She nodded honestly. “I struggle to find the motivation, so Koschei sits with me and helps me. I prefer reading what I choose to read though, so I spend a lot of my time in the library. I’ve even come up with a few ways it could be better organised.” She scoffed a little. She was laughing at them, and she wanted them to know it. 

Mr Kethar ran a hand over his face subtly. He was frustrated. Good. 

“So, why do you find your lack of motivation and concentration are there? Are you distracted?” Mr Delathorpo asked. Theta nodded. 

“Easily, yes.”

“What by?”

“Things that seem a lot more inciting. Reading about animals, spending time with Koschei, reading about other things. Thinking about the future- being a time lord. There’s a lot of things that are more interesting than homework, sir. Respectfully.” 

The two police officers exchanged a tired look. 

Theta would not crack. 

She refused. 

-

Theta was let out two and a half hours later, but she refused to let her guard down. 

Koschei was coming out of class for his break, when he saw her stalking her way to her dorm room. 

“There you are!” He caught up with her, before frowning. “What’s wrong?” 

“I’ll tell you once I know it’s safe.” She muttered, taking two steps at a time as she made her way up to her dorm room. “Go into your room, and check that you’re not being watched.”

“Watched?” Koschei frowned. “Theta, what’s going on?”

“Just do it. Trust me.” He looked at her worriedly, before disappearing into his room. 

Theta turned her entire room upside down. She didn’t care if she was being overly paranoid. She had come way too far to fall at the last hurdle. 

Luckily for her, she found nothing. 

Neither did Koschei it seemed, when he came into her room, empty handed. 

“There’s nothing. Now tell me what’s going on.” He took her hands, and Theta breathed out sharply, all of the tension shooting from her shoulders. 

The young girl sat on her dishevelled bed, Koschei sitting besides her and running a thumb over her knuckles. 

“I went in there, and the two police officers were there. Mr Delathorpo started going on about how smart I was, and asking me all these questions about why I struggled with school. But- but they were testing me, Koschei. They were checking to see my story checked out, that my alibi is something I would really do.”

“What did you give them?” He asked gravely. 

“Nothing. Not even body language.” She shook her head, stress radiating off of her.

“Good. That’s good. God, you’re good.” Koschei praised, taking either side of her head and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“Jesus, that was stressful.” She muttered, rubbing a hand over her face. “I can’t keep this up, Kos’.”

“You won’t have to.” He reassured. “You gave them nothing, the only reason they’re spending more time on you is because they’ve got no actual leads, and you’re powerful. You intimidate them, Theta, they’re trying to wear you down into submission.” 

“Well they’re going to have to try harder than that.” She muttered. 

“Yes. Yes they are.” 


	24. Twenty-four

“Theta,” Koschei whispered besides her, and she blinked her eyes open, yawning. 

“Hmm?” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” He said gently. “I want to show you something.” 

“It’s late, Kos’.” She was still half asleep, trying to curl up tighter into his side. 

“Trust me, you’ll want to see it.” And he got out of bed. Without his warmth there, the urge to go back to sleep was less so, and Theta groaned, opening her eyes. She watched as he wandered over to the window, opening it and stepping outside onto the window ledge, before disappearing from view. 

He knew she couldn’t resist her own curiosity. 

Theta pulled herself out of bed, clearing her fatigue from her eyes. She knew she had to be aware to follow Koschei. 

Theta clambered out onto the windowsill, before jumping and latching onto the lip above. She pulled herself up, feet grappling to the side of the building. She lost her footing once and Theta gasped. Koschei grabbed her hand though, pulling her safely up to the roof. 

She shivered slightly in the cold, she hadn’t thought to bring a jumper or a coat in her state of delirium, so she wrapped her arms tightly around Koschei’s middle. 

He encased her, and looked up. 

“Look, Theta. This is what I wanted to show you.” He said gently. Theta looked up, and finally saw the sky. 

It was swirling purple. Gentle nebulas swayed across the horizon, like clouds. Stars twinkled and shone bright, glittering like jewels on purple velvet. It was such a contest to the hot oranges and mustards of Gallifrey usually. She’d never seen such a purple. 

“Koschei...” she whispered. “What..what is it?”

“The Lights of the Other. That’s what they call it. It’s said to be a phenomenon that the Other created, to celebrate the end of the creation of the Time Lords. It only happens once every million years. I was reading about it in the library, and I saw that it was going to happen tonight.”

“But..” Theta blinked. “Why has no one told us about it?”

“I don’t think they know.” He shrugged. “There’s a bunch of things that we’re not taught about, Theta. I don’t know why, but that librarie’s taught me more about the Time Lords than any class has.”

“Wait, listen.” Theta pulled away slightly and held up a finger between them. Koschei frowned at her, seemingly on guard that they were about to get caught. 

But Theta wasn’t listening for that. She was listening to the sky. Because it was..singing. She could hear it playing music. Gentle, twinkling harps. 

“Is that..music?” He blinked. 

“Koschei,” she laughed quietly, “Koschei, the sky’s singing.”

“Well,” he scoffed a little, “there’s only one logical thing to do.” He held a hand out. “May I have this dance m’lady?” 

Theta rolled her eyes fondly, and placed her hand in his. Koschei pulled her close and wrapped a hand around her lower back. Theta smiled warmly, as they began to absently sway together. 

“I don’t want anything to ever change.” She said gently. He raised his eyebrows. 

“I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“I mean us.” She expanded. “I never want us to change.”

“Well then, we won’t.” He reassured. “We’ll be Theta and Koschei forever.”

“No matter what?”

“No matter what.” He quelled her insecurities patiently. “I mean, we’ve done some pretty heavy stuff together. If we can get through that, I reckon we should be able to get through anything.” He raised an arm and Theta giggled, spinning under it. 

“There are some worse things. Like..genocide?” She scoffed. Koschei rolled his eyes fondly. 

“When would we ever end up on either side of a genocide? You’re not that cruel.”

“Neither are you.” She shrugged.

“No, maybe I should work on that.” He joked. Theta stepped on his foot on purpose. He pouted. “Mean.”

“I prefer cruel.” 

-

Theta turned the corner, and almost jumped out of her skin. 

“By the Gods Lareth!” She put a hand to her chest. Lareth smiled a little bashfully. 

“Sorry, Theta. I’ve been trying to track you down for days.”

“Sorry,” it was her turn to apologise, “never in one place too long. What’s up?” She asked, turning to make her way down the stairs. Lareth followed. 

“Uh- the other day, I found a flower crown outside my door. And all my friends say they had nothing to do with it. So I was just wondering if you knew who might’ve taken the time to make it?” 

Theta shrugged. 

“Sorry, wish I could help.” She hummed, pocketing her hands. “I don’t know anything about that.”

“Are you sure?” Lareth frowned. “I just thought- maybe you’d done it?” She almost winced at Theta’s reaction, which turned out to be an eyebrow raise. 

“Lareth, do I look like the kind of person who knows how to make a flower crown?”

“Oh- well, yeah. I guess not. I hadn’t thought of that.” She admitted with a little frown. “Well- it was a very thoughtful gesture. It did make me feel rather beautiful.” 

Theta stopped outside her class, and nodded. 

“And it will continue to. Those flowers are stuck in a permanent state of bloom.” She opened the door, and shot a glance Lareth’s way. “But, I’d know nothing about that.” 

Lareth smiled. 

“Thank you, Theta.”

“For what?” She asked. “Like I said. I dunno how to make flower crowns.” And she disappeared into the classroom. 

-

Her headmaster addressed the entire Upper Academy at dinner. Mr Delathorpo stood at the front of the room, looking rather grim and grave. 

“I regret to inform you all, that our investigation into Torvic’s death will no longer be continuing.”

Sanfej gasped a little next to her, and Theta wasn’t sure what to do. Wether to let out a sigh of relief, or cry for the boy next to her. 

“What- wh- why?” He mumbled. “They can’t do that.”

“There has not been enough sufficient evidence to make any arrests, and no more is to be found. I regret to inform you all that the case, has gone cold.”

Theta didn’t look at Koschei until they began the walk back to their dorm. 

“That’s good, right?” She asked, glancing up at him hopefully. She didn’t like how grave his expression was. 

“No, because they’re lying.” He muttered. “They’re putting us in a false sense of security.” He shook his head. Theta frowned. 

“How can you tell?”

“I can smell it.” He murmured. Theta stopped short, and he frowned, turning back to look at her. 

“What?” She raised her eyebrows. Koschei’s face cleared into realisation. 

“O- oh.”he blinked. “Oh. I can smell it.”

“You’re ahead of them all too.” She pointed out, and Koschei frowned. 

“Apparently.” She fell into step with him again, shaking her head and bringing them back to the matter at hand. 

“So, if you think they’re still onto us, what do we do?”

“Not let our guard down. We can’t afford to fall at the final hurdle.”

“This final hurdle seems to be bloody huge.” She muttered, and Koschei glanced around, before taking her hand and squeezing it. Then he let go. 

“We’ll be alright. We’ll do it together.”


	25. Twenty-five

Theta let them both into her dorm, and she dropped her bag onto her bed, sighing tiredly. 

Then she frowned. 

Something was wrong. 

She could feel it in the air. When Koschei turned to glance at her, face more neutral than Theta had ever seen, she was sure he knew it too. 

“It’s pretty bad that they’re not investigating Torvic’s disappearance anymore.” He said, making his way over to her desk to put his bag on it, scanning the room as he did so. 

Theta nodded, lying back against her bed and glancing around lazily. 

“Yeah, it sucks. He deserves better than that.” 

“What do you think really happened to him?” Koschei asked, sitting at Theta’s desk and turning to her. 

“I really don’t know.” She shrugged. “Could be anything really. We’ll never really know if that body is his.”

“It probably is though.” He shrugged. “But, who the hell would murder Torvic? I mean I get that he’s got some enemies, but no one would really do that.”

“Maybe it was just random.” She shrugged. “If he was murdered, maybe the person that did it didn’t even know him.” Koschei hummed in thought. 

“That’s not very comforting though. That a murderer could just be running around the Academy, and the police have stopped looking for them.”

“Well yeah, but Torvic went missing almost a year ago. You’d think if they were going to murder someone else they would’ve done it by now.”

“Depends how patient they are.” He shrugged, taking a book from his bag. “Have you done the Geography homework?”

“Course I haven’t.” She scoffed. “Oh- shoot.” She sat up. “I left my book in class. I’ve got to go get it.”

“You want me to come?” He asked as she stood up. Theta shrugged. 

“Do you want too?”

“Sure, may as well. More interesting than this.” Koschei nodded at his book, before standing and following her to the door. 

The two left the room, closing the door behind them. They idly chatted their way out of the dorm room, and when they were firmly in the middle of the courtyard, Theta let out a deep sigh of relief. 

“They’re watching us.” She pointed out. “But I couldn’t see any cameras?”

“It was in one of the screws keeping your shelves up. They’d replaced it.”

“Was that the only one?” She asked. He nodded. “What are we going to do? If we get rid of it they’ll know we know they’re watching us.” 

“We keep it.” He said gravely. “Show them we have nothing to hide.”

“But we do have things to hide Koschei.” She hissed. “Not only what we did, but our relationship. If they know we’re seeing each other, it’ll only make us look more like we did it together. If we can’t talk about it there, then where can we?”

“I don’t know.” He ran a hand over his face in deep thought. 

“They’ll know I get nightmares. They’ll know you have that sound in your head. We can’t keep the cameras there.”

“It’s not exactly easy to come up with a believable excuse for why you’d take the screws out of your shelf.” He grumbled. Theta frowned deeply. 

“What if we broke it? By accident, of course.” 

“How?” Koschei glanced at her, and she frowned in thought. 

“How much would it compromise us, if they knew we were together?” He frowned. 

“I don’t know. Not..too much I guess. It builds up a theory but it’s not evidence.”

“So we can afford to lose that secret?” 

“I suppose.” Koschei nodded slowly. “Why? What did you have in mind?”

-

Theta opened her door again, huffing as Koschei followed her inside. 

“I could’ve sworn I left it.” She reiterated, throwing her arms up in frustration. “Mrs Ethanojik is going to kill me.”

“You can borrow mine for the homework, if you want.” 

“Thanks.” She smiled a little, and Koschei shrugged.

“Don’t mention it.” 

“No, but I want too.” Theta wandered over to where he was stood, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’re always so thoughtful.”

“Well I’m not just going to let you get another strike. You’ve got enough as it is.” 

“I’m just forgetful.” She laughed gently as Koschei’s hands slipped down to her waist, the two of them wandering, still held together, a little further into the room. 

“You’re a pain in the ass.” He smiled fondly. 

“Same thing.” She shrugged, before leaning up and kissing him. Koschei felt physically relaxed against her, but she could taste his nerves and she could smell how fast his mind was moving. She kissed him languidly, hand pressing surely to his chest. She could feel one of his hearts, beating almost too fast. 

They had to get this right, they knew they did. They had one shot to make this look completely accidental. 

Theta let him decide when time had been long enough, and Koschei began to kiss her deeper, and press harder. Theta leant into it, breathing out sharply against his lips. His tongue swept into her mouth and Theta did what would seem the least out of character for her, and fought back. 

They stepped backward together, and slowly again. Soon, but never late enough, Theta felt the cold surface of the wall, pressed to her back. She gently let her arm that was closest to the shelf snake down to Koschei’s chest. He kissed her for a little while longer, before putting a slight pressure at her hip. 

Theta pulled her arm back up, as if trying to wrap it back around his neck, and shoved upwards into the wood with her elbow.

The shelf split down the middle and Theta cursed, Koschei pulling away from her. 

“Aw- shit.” She muttered, holding her elbow. “Ow, that really hurt.” She laughed a little, like she was in pain, rubbing at the joint. 

“Are you ok?” He asked concernedly. Theta could feel the glee radiating off of him, however. She nodded, and glanced at her shelf. 

“Oh come on.” She groaned. “My shelf.” Koschei frowned, running his fingers over the break. 

“That’s easily fixed. We could grab some wood glue from woodwork.” He hummed. “We’ll have to take it down though.” 

“We’ll do it tomorrow, I can’t be bothered to start an arts and crafts project today.” Theta grumbled, dropping her elbow. She stepped forward and took her books and little trinkets from the wood, setting them on the desk beside it. 

“Is your elbow alright?” Koschei asked, and Theta nodded. 

“Yeah. I’ll be ok, worry wart.” She smiled at him. “I’m gonna have a shower. That ok?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I have to finish my Geography homework anyway. It’ll be nice for a bit of peace and quiet.”

“Rude.” She muttered, before turning to the bathroom. 

-

When Theta awoke from a nightmare that night, Koschei held an arm tight around her middle, forcing her to stay lying down. 

She panted, trying her best to be quiet, and turned to look at Koschei. He had his back to the camera, blocking its view from Theta as she looked up at him, eyes wet and scared. 

He subtly held a hand up to caress her cheek, pulling her close to his chest. She let him feel her gratitude. 

Theta knew he’d laid awake, waiting for it to happen so that she wouldn’t alert the camera. 

He gently stroked her hair, in way of apology that he couldn’t say anything, and reassurance. 

Theta somehow found sleep again. 

The next day the two of them took down the shelf, with a box of screwdrivers and wood glue they’d been lent by their woodwork teacher. 

Theta busied herself as Koschei took the shelf down, breaking the camera with the end of the screwdriver. 

They fixed the shelf, put it back up with the same screws, and Koschei made sure the camera was definitely broken, when he screwed them back in. 

And then they went to class. 

Theta felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, and she could tell Koschei felt the same way too. 

That was until, Mr Delathorpo came into their Telepathy class. 

“Theta, Koschei, could you come with me please?” 


	26. Twenty-six

Theta glanced at Koschei as Mr Delathorpo lead them down the corridor. He glanced back, before reaching out and squeezing her hand. 

Theta nodded shortly, eyes determined. 

Mr Delathorpo lead them both to his office, before opening the door. 

Mr Kethar and Mr Trithua sat at his desk, and smiled politely, offering them the seats opposite. Mr Delathorpo closed the door behind him, leaving the four of them, and Theta and Koschei sat down.

She tried to settle her beating hearts, and unclenched her jaw, eyes meeting with Mr Kethar for long enough for it to seem like a challenge. 

“Theta, Koschei, it’s nice to see you both again.” He smiled a little. 

“Respectfully sir, what is this about?” Theta asked. “I thought you had stopped investigating Torvic’s case.”

“Oh, we have.” He nodded, glancing down at his damned papers. “But, during our investigation, we started to think that maybe something else was going on.”

Theta frowned. For once, she really had no idea what they were talking about. 

“When being questioned, a number of your classmates reported the two of you being, rather close.” He looked between the two of them. Theta glanced at Koschei, who shrugged noncommittally. 

“Being best friends will do that, yes sir.”

“Well that’s exactly the point.” Mr Trithua nodded. “We have had several reports that seem to suggest the two of you, are more than best friends.” 

Theta frowned. 

“I don’t see why it’s noteworthy, even if we are. It’s not illegal to be in a relationship.”

“No,” Mr Kethar nodded, “but it is illegal to fornicate, as I’m sure you’re aware.” She scoffed. 

“Respectfully, sir, but being in a relationship isn’t exactly proof of such a thing. You could pull any couple into this room and say they’re breaking the law, but you’d have no proof.”

“And we’ve never done it.” Koschei added truthfully, arm coming to rest on the back of Theta’s chair. 

“Yeah, and that.” She nodded. Mr Kethar looked at them for a while longer. 

“How much do you care for one another?” He asked calmly. 

“A great deal.” Koschei said, just as calmly. “I love Theta.” 

“How far would you go for her?” He asked, turning to focus on him. 

“Far.” Koschei didn’t look away from Mr Kethar. The two stared each other down, and Theta could tell her friend was winning whatever altercation there was in the atmosphere. 

“To the ends of the universe?” 

“If she wanted me too, yes sir.” He nodded. 

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done for her?” He asked. Koschei took it in his stride, shrugging and glancing at her. Theta smiled the tiniest bit. 

“Well,” he frowned a little, “one time I told a teacher I was the one who’d drawn a rude picture on the board because I didn’t want Theta to get into trouble. I don’t think she believed me but I still took the punishment.” 

Mr Kethar hummed, and sat back. 

“Miss Theta,” she turned to look at him, “how much do you care for Mr Koschei?”

“A lot. More than anything.” She said calmly. 

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done for him?” 

Theta hummed in thought. 

“Probably punching people in the face.” She shrugged a little. “He keeps telling me not to do it, but sometimes I have too.”

“You believe violence is the only option?” Mr Trithua sat forward, raising his eyebrows. Theta shook her head. 

“No, that’s not what I said, sir.” She laced her fingers together in her lap. “I just mean, if I had no choice. If it was the only way to get them to leave him alone.” 

Mr Trithua sat back, narrowing his eyes at her. His partner leant forward, frowning at the two of them. 

“The two of you are very calm.”

“Almost got used to this.” Theta shrugged. 

“All of your teachers say you’re extremely close. Joint at the hip, always. Even out of lessons.”

“We enjoy each other’s company.” Koschei explained. “Similar minds.” 

“Yes, Mr Koschei, but up until recently you seemed to enjoy the company of Miss Lareth, just as much. Is this true?” 

Koschei tensed by a millimetre beside her, and a spark of worry set in her chest. 

“Yes sir.” He nodded, after a moment of hesitation. 

“You were in a relationship with her for..” he checked his paper, “sixty years?”

“Yes.” Koschei confirmed. 

“Why did you break up?”

“She deserved better.” He shrugged, shifting in his seat. Theta wanted to take his hand, but thought it best not too. “I was pretending, and she didn’t deserve that.” 

Mr Kethar hummed in acknowledgment. 

“Yet, it says here that you only broke up a few months ago.”

“Yes sir.”

“Have a habit of moving on quickly, do we Mr Koschei?”

“No, sir.” Her friend nonchalantly. “Considering the fact I’ve only ever been with two people.”

Mr Trithua sat forward, frowning. 

“Not anything alike, are they?”

“I’m right here.” Theta muttered under her breath. Mr Karuth turned to look at his paper. 

“All your classmates and teachers had wonderful things to say about Miss Lareth. ‘Wonderful pleasure to teach, ‘always so perfect’, ‘incredibly beautiful’, ‘never a foot out of line’.” He listed off. “A perfect girl. Must have been difficult to give up.”

“Not when you don’t want perfect.” Koschei levelled. Mr Kathur turned back to his paper. 

“No. Well, that’s certainly true. Theta is not perfect.” He began to list, “‘always in trouble’, ‘weird. Seems to prefer animals over people’, ‘not exactly a shining example of a respectable young lady’, ‘way too risky for her own good’, ‘dead stupid. I’m pretty sure she’s failing all of her classes.”

“Theta’s not stupid.” There was a hint of genuine anger when Koschei said it, and she breathed out gentle reassurance, and a warning that now was really not the time to get defensive when it came to her intelligence. 

She didn’t really care what others had to say about her. But she supposed that was part of the reason they thought all of that. 

“No?” Mr Kathur raised an eyebrow. Koschei swallowed his anger. 

“No. She’s the smartest person I know. Everyone only says those things because they can’t be bothered to even try to get to know her.”

“So she’s more than what everyone says?” 

“She’s right here.” Theta huffed. Koschei nodded. 

“Yeah, she is right here. Why don’t you ask her, sir?”

“Alright,” Mr Kathur nodded slowly, turning to her, “What are you that people don’t understand?”

“I’m not stupid.” She reiterated. “And I’m kind, and funny, if you look past the obsession with insects.” Koschei scoffed slightly. “And I’m not as rock hard as everyone thinks I am.”

“Do you ever feel misunderstood?” He asked. Theta shook her head. 

“Not really. Or- well, yeah. I guess. But I don’t care. The fact that they’re all so quick to judge is more of a show of their character than it is mine.”

“So you don’t want people to like you?”

“Of course I do.” She shrugged. “Everyone does. But I don’t care if they don’t. I’ve got Koschei, and he understands me better than anyone else ever could. He’s the only person, that’s even remotely like me.”

“So it often feels like the two of you are against the world?” Mr Trithua raised an eyebrow. Theta shrugged. 

“Sometimes. No more than the next two.” 

Mr Kathur huffed out, and all of a sudden, Theta got a waft of frustration. He was frustrated. That they weren’t giving him anything. That they worked so well together. That neither of them were prepared to slip up for the other. 

“Do you get tired, Miss Theta?” He muttered. 

“Tired, sir?” She cocked her head to the side slightly. 

“Of lying.” He practically spat it across the table. Theta shrugged. 

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you mean, sir.”

“I know you have secrets.” He muttered darkly at the two of them. “I know you’re hiding something. And I could play this game for decades. You’ll slip up.” 

Theta took that as their cue to leave, and the two of them stood up. 

“Respectfully, sir,” Koschei took her hand. “I’m not sure we should be the ones worrying about slipping up.”


	27. Twenty-seven

Koschei had been struggling as of late. It had been a few months since they’d last seen the police officers, and they hadn’t heard anymore about any investigations. 

So their guards had been down, just enough to live properly. 

But with nothing to focus on, and all that stress gone, Koschei began to struggle. He began to fly into fits of rage more often, furious and frustrated with the noise in his head. 

He spent hours in the library, as Theta did, the two of them looking for anything that could help. 

It was one night, when Theta woke up, noticing his usual warmth wasn’t beside her. 

She sat up, and looked around. Koschei was sat at his desk, tapping the rhythm repeatedly on the wood, and staring off into nothingness. 

Theta watched him for a moment, before getting up and wordlessly crossing the room. Sitting on the floor beside him, she put her head on his thigh, and closed her eyes. 

Koschei’s tapping stopped as her touch pulled him out of his daze. There was a hesitation, before he leant down, and pressed a kiss to her temple. Theta opened her eyes, raising her head and taking his hand from where he was moving some of her hair from her neck. 

She kissed the heel of his palm gently, and found his eyes in the darkness. 

“I’m here.” She reassured, before putting her head back down, and letting go of his hand. Theta knew better than to try and get him to sleep. So she let him sit at his desk. She always could sleep anywhere, it was a talent. 

So she fell asleep, hand resting gently on his knee and rubbing over the fabric of his trousers with her thumb, head heavy on his upper thigh. 

Koschei listened to her breathing. He didn’t keep tapping. 

-

The next day, was their first lessonless since they’d raced through the red fields together. And they decided to go to the citadel. 

The two young Gallifreyan’s needed answers on their telepathy, and Koschei’s head, and had figured: what better place to go than the largest library on the planet. 

Theta had visited the citadel three or four times since her incredible escapades in the Cloisters. 

It felt like it had happened millennia ago. Back when she was young, and had gone in there because Torvic had dared her. Back when her and Koschei’s only secret had been that she’d copied his homework. 

They got the tram, and wandered their way to the Library of Gallifrey. The two divided and conquered, Theta sitting down and reading up on as much about telepathy as she could. 

She read through book after book, trying to remember as much as possible. And after most of the day had passed, she found Koschei on the other side of the room, and sat down at the table he was at. 

“How’s it going?” She asked quietly. Koschei sighed, running a hand over his face. 

“Not great. I mean- I know a little more.”

“What?” Koschei closed the book he’d been reading and sat back in his chair. 

“Basically, during initiation, y’know how we’re told some people will be inspired, and some will be afraid, and run away?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. 

“Well- that’s not the truth. There’s a third option.” Theta frowned. She didn’t like that look in his eyes. Hurting, but cold. “Some go mad.” 

She hesitated, before leaning forward. 

“But you’re not mad.” She whispered. 

“The ‘mad’ ones,” he threw up quotation marks, “all have different experiences. Some see things, some taste things that aren’t there, and some smell things that aren’t there either. Sometimes they can’t do telepathy right, or their regenerations never work out perfectly. But..that’s the strange thing. There isn’t one report of anyone ever hearing anything. I read a whole chapter on how the Untempered Schism isn’t supposed to be able to affect the part of your brain that deals with hearing.” 

“Well, yeah, and I don’t think it has.” Theta frowned, “because you’re not hearing anything.” Koschei frowned, and it tasted defensive. 

“I am hearing something.”

“No- no I know, that’s not what I mean.” She back-peddled. “I mean- like, it’s not a sound from the surroundings thats coming in through your ears.” He relaxed a little. “I wouldn’t even know what part of your brain it’s coming from. It doesn’t make sense.” 

Koschei sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“Tell me you’ve had more success than I have.”

“Yes! I have!” She grinned, and promptly was passive-aggressively shushed by the librarian. “Sorry.” She whispered with a wince, shifting closer to murmur more directly into Koschei’s ear. 

“So, I found out, that the youngest age anyone’s ever been reported to start their telepathy, is thirty years before they’re supposed to.” Koschei blinked at her, shocked for a moment. “Yeah, I know.” Theta nodded, continuing. “We’ve got ten years on that. But..what I also found out was that, we should not have been able to do what we did back in the field.”

“What do you mean?” Koschei frowned. 

“So, we’re going to spend five years learning about our own minds, and how to put boundaries up and stuff. And then we learn how to communicate. But the thing is, even with physical contact, it’s supposed to take students at least a year to get anywhere with it. 

I found out, too, that when communicating, the students pick the person they have the strongest connection with, to make it easier. But after that year, when they finally do communicate, the professors have specific herbs on standby, because every time they finally manage to do it, every single student gets the most splitting migraine.”

“I didn’t get a migraine.” Koschei pointed out. 

“Neither did I.” Theta shrugged. “So not only are we ahead with telepathy as is, but there is absolutely no way the two of should be able to feel each other’s emotions, and whatever else we felt when we touched in that field.”

-

They began to wander back down to the tram, hand in hand. They knew they wouldn’t see anyone they knew here, so keeping up the act wasn’t all that necessary. 

“Information, but not answers.” Theta sighed. Koschei hummed in thought, clearly deep in whatever his mind was ticking over. 

“No.” They crossed the street in the dim artificial light, before passing a bar. 

Theta heard a wolf whistle behind her, and kept walking. She didn’t get very far though, when she was yanked backwards, because Koschei had stopped dead. Theta turned to look back at him, pulling on his hand. 

“Koschei? Come on.” She frowned in confusion. 

“Hey! Sweetheart!” She looked over her friends shoulder at a man grinning at her, his buddies circling him leisurely, drinking and laughing. “Give us a twirl!”

Koschei let go of her hand and turned around, striding the short distance over to the man. His friends let out various whoops and yells of an oncoming fight. 

There wasn’t one though. 

Theta had never seen Koschei throw a punch like that. 

She gasped, skidding her way over to where the man lay sprawled on the ground. For a moment, she thought he was dead, and her hearts leapt to her throat. 

Before he groaned, pushing himself up onto his elbows and spitting blood onto the ground. His mates looked up at Koschei, stunned. 

“Come on.” Theta said gravely, grabbing his hand and forcing him to cross the street with her. She tugged him round several corners, to make sure they weren’t being followed, before dropping her hand. “What was that??” She demanded. 

“What do you mean?” Koschei looked practically delighted. “You heard the way he was talking about you.”

“I didn’t care.” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Yeah, you seem to have a habit of not getting into a fight for yourself. Even though people treat you like shit.” Koschei muttered. “Someone has to defend you, even if you won’t.”

“You didn’t have to punch him that hard.” Theta muttered, angry, and only slightly impressed. But mostly angry. 

“He didn’t have to be such a prick, but he did it anyway.”

-

“Theta,” Koschei whispered in the dead of the night, and Theta hummed in acknowledgement. She was facing the wall, his nose buried into the crook of her neck. “The drumming. I couldn’t hear it. When I punched him.” 

Theta was sure he must have been able to feel the way her stomach dropped. Theta swallowed tightly, and moved her hand down to hold his, where it had been resting at her waist. 

“That doesn’t mean you should make it a habit.” She whispered. 

“I know.” He hummed, pressing a gentle kiss to the nape of her neck. “It just felt..a little good.”

“Violence isn’t the way to go, though, Kos. You know that.” 

“Yeah.” He nodded, before pausing. It was long enough for her to think the conversation was over. “But I’ll stand up for you if you won’t do it.”

“I’m really not worth the bloodied knuckles.”

“I said the same thing to you about Torvic. Guess we’ll just have to protect each other if we don’t want to protect ourselves.” 

Theta rubbed a thumb over his knuckles, but said nothing else. 

The conversation had left a sour taste in her mouth, and she couldn’t quite figure out what it was. 


	28. Twenty-eight

Theta sighed deeply, scribbling a little lizard on the desk in front of her. She’d always thought government and politics was incredibly boring. If she was honest, Theta really didn’t care about the High Council. 

It wasn’t like she’d ever come into contact with them, so why should she care? 

“And so, if Rassilon would ever need to be resurrected, his decisions would override democracy.” Their professor droned on. 

“I wish someone would override democracy and get rid of this class.” Koschei murmured directly into her ear, and Theta scoffed. 

“Is something funny, Theta?” She glanced up at her professor, before glancing at Koschei. Her friend was sat at least a metre away from her, and he glanced up from his book when their teacher called on her. 

He was way too far to have leant over to her ear, unnoticed by their professor. Theta frowned, starting to think she’d imagined it. 

“No- sorry, sir. I just, thought- Sorry, no. I’m ok.” She babbled, turning back to her work as her classmates scoffed at her and teaching continued. 

Koschei frowned at her, but turned back to his own book. 

As the two of them left, he took a gentle hand to the back of her elbow. 

“Are you alright?” He asked quietly. “You were strange back there.”

“I was laughing at what you said.” She explained, and Koschei’s frown only worsened. 

“Thee’, I didnt say anything.”

“Yes you did.” She frowned, stopping in the corridor to look at him. “You said you wished someone would override democracy and get rid of that class.” 

He blinked, and looked rather taken aback. 

“No, Theta. I didn’t say that. I thought that.”

“You said it, right into my ear.” She argued confidently. Theta was sure of herself. She’d heard him, clear as day. 

“I didn’t, Theta. I didn’t say anything to you.”

“Yes you did!” She insisted. “Unless-“ suddenly her self-assured attitude seemed less assured. “But how could I hear your thoughts? That doesn’t make sense. I should be able to feel your presence, before any of your actual thoughts. If it had anything to do with telepathy.” She frowned quietly, hugging her books close to her chest. 

This whole business was really starting to irk Theta. It set real nerves in her stomach, like butterflies. She didn’t like it. She felt way out of her depth. 

“Well, look.” He shrugged. “Are you feeling my presence?” 

“No, I don’t feel anything.” She shook her head immediately. “I’d know if you were in my head, Koschei.” 

“Look harder.” He said firmly. Theta was frustrated now. 

“You’re not in my head!” She huffed, stepping towards him. At the same time, Koschei stepped towards her, putting a hand to her cheek. 

It was like someone had injected something into her head. Theta gasped, eyes squeezing shut and breath hitching. 

He felt warm. She could feel him in her head, or- something. Theta knew it definitely wasn’t her own presence, and something about it felt so, definitely Koschei. It was warm, and comforting. But a little sharp too. Theta felt as if she should be careful, for fear of cutting herself on his imperfect edges. She could hear him, smell him, taste him and feel him against her. 

She stumbled backwards, back hitting the war as her eyes jumped open. Koschei’s presence shot from her mind and almost sent her stumbling again, had it not been for the solid stone behind her. 

Theta was shaking. She wasn’t sure why. It didn’t exactly feel bad, but it was just new enough to completely disorientate her. She felt dizzy, like her head had been shaken and was fizzing. 

Koschei frowned concernedly at her. 

“Theta, what happened?” He asked, moving to touch her, before thinking better of it. 

She hugged her books impossibly closer to her chest, before sliding down the wall and burying her head in her knees. Theta closed her eyes, and listened to her breathing, waiting for her head to stop swirling. 

“I felt you.” She whispered.

“What do you mean?” Koschei knelt beside her, still hesitant to offer physical reassurance. 

“In my head- you were there. I could feel you.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“I just- I just know. It was. It felt like you.” She muttered, ears ringing. “Kos’, I don’t feel well.”

“We’ll get you back to your dorm, there’s no way you can go to your next class.” He decided, gently reaching out to help her out. Theta flinched away from it. 

“Hang- hang on, just. For a second. My head feels like someone put it in a blender.” She muttered. It wasn’t helping that Theta could feel the concern radiating off of her friend at her side. 

“I’m sorry, Thee’. I never meant for that to happen. I didn’t realise. I should’ve thought.” He muttered. “Extreme emotion, more susceptible.” Theta wasn’t entirely sure wether he’d said that or not. 

“You can’t help me up, I don’t want that to happen again.” She muttered, refusing to lift her head. 

“Well I’ve got to help you. You can’t do it alone.” Koschei frowned. “Do you think you could try..putting walls up? So it won’t hurt when I touch you?”

“I don’t know how.” Theta mumbled.

“Well- you said you felt my presence. Can you feel your own?” He queried. Theta thought about it for a moment. 

Yep. There she was. Bright and sharp and blunt, and swirling. She nodded. 

“So, focus on putting walls up, around it.” 

Theta squeezed her eyes shut tighter, focusing on her dizzying conscience. She imagined putting strong, thick walls around them, walls that couldn’t be broken or climbed over. She felt a little better afterward. If only slightly. 

“I- I think I did it. I don’t know.” She groaned. Koschei hummed something about soon finding out, and gently scooped her from the floor. Theta gasped, eyes opening as her arms flew around his neck. 

The light was too bright though, and putting up those walls had seemingly taken almost all of her energy out of her, and Theta ended up burying her face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder. 

“Ow.” Theta mumbled. 

“I’m sorry, Thee’. I was too reckless. You’re far too powerful for your abilities to just be played around with that. We have to use controlled environments, and I ruined it. I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t mean too.”

“It’s ok.” Theta muttered. “Not just your fault. I should control it better.”

“No, that’s not true. It wasn’t your fault, you had no idea that was going to happen. If you push yourself trying to put walls up and control it, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not.”

-

Theta slept off the day. It was her first rest in years, when Torvic’s face didn’t plague her mind. 

She could feel her brain trying to fix itself, take care of itself and readjust. She felt a gentle nudge of Koschei’s presence most of the day, when she assumed he was in the room. 

But he left her to heal. 

When she awoke late that evening, she found Koschei at her desk, frowning deeply at her, worry set between his brows. She shifted and he immediately made his way over, crouching by her bedside. 

“Thee’? How are you feeling?” 

Theta shifted over to face him. She felt a little better- her head didn’t feel like it was swirling anymore. She figured she just felt a little fragile. 

“I’m ok.” She murmured. “Just..a little disoriented.” 

“I don’t need to get anyone to help though?” 

“No.” She shook her head a little. Koschei hesitantly reached out and moved some hair from her face. Theta closed her eyes at the touch as her hair was swept behind her shoulder. 

“I think it’s alright now,” he murmured, “you don’t feel as vulnerable.” 

“No. I don’t think I am.” She agreed. “What happened to me, Kos’?” He paused, and sighed. 

“I’m not sure, if I’m honest. You should’ve been feeling my presence way before my thoughts, and even when you did feel it, it shouldn’t have been so much all at once. It shouldn’t have hurt you.”

“Well we haven’t been taught how to properly do this, obviously it’s not going to go to plan.” She grumbled. 

“Yeah, but we’re not being reckless.” Koschei rebutted gently. “We’re not trying to develop it, we just don’t know how to control it.”

“Then we should learn how to. Fast.” She muttered, curling up in on herself. “Cuz this is not an experience I ever want to repeat.”

“I know, my love. I’m sorry.” Koschei sighed gently, leaning up to kiss her temple. She hummed softly in forgiveness, and Koschei stroked at thumb down her cheek. 

“Sleep. I’m going to go down to dinner and get us both something. I won’t stay. You’ll be alright without me?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, “just don’t get any stew. It’s disgusting, I hate their stew.” Koschei chuckled and she felt him stand up beside her. 

“I know.” He said fondly. “Get some rest, I won’t be long.” 

“Ok.” She mumbled, already falling back into a dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter uploaded really weirdly lol. All fixed now!


	29. Twenty-nine

When Theta awoke the next morning, she found Koschei with his head in a book. 

“Kos’?” She mumbled, and he looked up. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Fine.” She sat up slowly. “A little..foggy.”

“Do you think you’ll be alright to go to class? Cuz I can go down and tell them you’re not coming.” 

“No, no I’ll be fine.” Theta reassured, rubbing her eyes. “What are you reading?” 

“It’s a book on telepathy. The basics, and really- how to protect yourself.”

“Have you found anything out that we don’t already know?” She asked, leaning over to drink from the glass he’d put beside her. 

“I suppose. Apparently you should work to put your walls up constantly, until it becomes a sub-conscious thing. Which, therefore means it’s a conscious thing to have to take them down if you want too.”

“But it took so much energy.” She frowned. Koschei nodded. 

“Because you’ve not done it in the right order. You’re supposed to spend a few years figuring out your own presence, and then learning how to protect it. Then you can start to let other people’s presences in, and then communicate. But you’ve gone straight to the last step, and your brain can’t seem to keep up.”

“Well then how do I go to the first step?” She huffed frustratedly. Theta didn’t understand why her brain couldn’t be like everyone else’s. Koschei frowned. 

“I’m not entirely sure. But I think- if you focus on yourself, and make an effort not to let anyone else’s thoughts in.”

“But I can’t control it. When it happened in class, it was completely random.” She shrugged. He hummed, glancing at her with more sympathy than empathy. 

“It’s not an exact science. But it’s the best chance we’ve got. Unless you want to tell a professor.”

“No!” She shook her head firmly. Theta wasn’t exactly sure why she didn’t want to tell anyone- it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, what was happening to her. But, as the years passed, she just became more sure of the fact that she couldn’t really trust anyone but Koschei. “No, I don’t want anyone to know.”

“Ok.” He nodded. “That’s alright. We’ll figure it out.” 

-

Theta picked at her food. She wasn’t hungry if she was honest. She’d never thought the food there was particularly good anyway. 

“Have you heard, the High Council are declaring war?” Kathla rattled on. Pewthru rolled his eyes. 

“That’s not what’s happening. They might, but it’s really unlikely. We’re not going to war, Kathla.”

“What’s it even about?” Rethra asked, and Pewthru rolled his eyes. 

“The Daleks. They’re planning a front to go after the Matrix in the Cloisters, and the Time Lords have given them their final warning. If they don’t take it, the Daleks’s will just be destroyed, or get trapped down there. It’ll hardly be a war.”

“You never know,” Kathla hummed, “I mean- if Theta can get in and out, so can a Dalek.” 

“If Theta actually did do what we all thought she did.” Pewthru muttered. 

“She was missing for four days.” She pointed out. Pewthru glanced across at the blond, before lowering his voice. Theta could still hear him, but she didn’t really care. 

“It’s Theta. And we were young. She probably just got some money and stayed somewhere for a few nights.”

“From where?” Rethra raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Theta’s never been exactly rolling in the cash.”

“She probably nicked it from Koschei.”

“Theta?” Lareth asked across the table, inadvertently changing the subject. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah,” Theta frowned. “Why?”

“I saw Koschei carrying you back to your dorm yesterday,” the other blond frowned a little. “I didn’t know wether you were alright or not.”

“Oh yeah,” she played off. “I was just dizzy. Dehydrated.”

“Oh no.” Lareth shot her a worried glance, “are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Theta smiled a little. 

“On the subject,” Kathla raised her voice out to the table. “What’s going on with you two?” 

Theta glanced up, frowning. 

“Who?” 

“You and Kos’. You’re way too close to be just friends, everyone thinks so.” She sat back, regarding the two as they glanced at each other. 

Theta gagged. 

“Ew- I don’t even want to think about it.” She grimaced. Koschei shook his head. 

“You’re literally disgusting.” He told her, “like, some of the stuff you do is enough to make me gag.”

“Oi!” She huffed. “At least I’m not boring.”

“So that’s a no then?” Kathla scoffed. The two turned back to her. 

“No!”

-

Theta let out a sigh of contentedness against Koschei’s lips. The two had been lying on Koschei’s bed, lazily losing themselves in one another for a few hours. 

Theta set her head on the pillow as Koschei’s nose trailed down to her jaw, and he left tiny kisses there, making her giggle. 

“Y’know, I think if we master this whole telepathy thing, it might be quite a nice thing to have. Y’know what I mean?”

“I do.” He murmured absently, pressing a kiss to her throat. 

“We could talk shit about whoever we wanted. Even if they were in the same room.”

“Why is that where your mind immediately goes?” He scoffed, hot air flushing at her pale neck. 

“Because there’s a lot of people I can think of that I want to talk smack about when they’re in the room.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” He muttered. Theta grinned. 

“Thank you.” 

“Wasn’t a compliment.” Koschei sat up on his elbows, placed either side of her head. “This is though: has anyone ever told you that you have a really nice throat?”

“You would be the first.” She laughed. “How does one even have a nice throat?” 

“It’s just nice.” He flicked at her nose. “And it should really be covered. If the professors were strict on uniform. You’re being quite dangerous. If you move I might see your collarbone.”

“Can you imagine the horror?” Theta grinned. 

“It’s like it’s your soul goal in life is to reek havoc.” He scoffed, shaking his head fondly. 

“Well, it’s definitely up there on my bucket list.” She ran a hand through his hair. 

“It might as well be on my bloody bucket list, what with that heart palpitations you give me.” He rolled his eyes. Theta scoffed, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I can’t stress you out that much, right?”

“Have you met you?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or me?” 

“Well then why do you still hang out with me?” Theta asked, as Koschei left a kiss on her chin, and then her forehead. 

“Because,” he shrugged, “I love you. The way you think, the way you see the world. The way your mind works- I mean god, your brain is something incredible, Theta. The things I’d do to even begin to understand it.” Theta laughed fondly, and noncommittally pushed him away. 

“I’m not a science experiment, Koschei, I’m your girlfriend.”

“I know. But before anything else you’re my science experiment.” He teased, and Theta scoffed, shoving him off of her. 

“You suck.” She glared playfully at him. Koschei shrugged, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back closer to him. Theta feigned annoyance and tried to wriggle out of his grasp with a laugh, but he wasn’t letting go. 

“Thank you.” 

“It wasn’t a compliment.” She huffed, giving up. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell. You said it with so much love, how else was I supposed to take it?” 

“You’re the bane of my existence.” She pointed out. 

“Aww.” He grinned. Theta smacked him on the arm with a laugh and rolled her eyes. 

Maybe things weren’t perfect. They still weren’t out of hot water with Torvic, and Theta knew she needed to really get herself together when it came to her telepathy. But maybe, for now, things would be ok. 

Because they had each other, and they made each other happy. 

Theta was sure that would never change. 


	30. Thirty

“Focus Theta.” He said firmly. Theta frowned with her eyes closed, huffing.

“I am focusing.” 

“Tell me what you can feel.” He ignored her tone. Theta focused even more, feeling around in her mind. 

There was her presence. It was definitely her, she could feel it. It was bright and blunt. Fast, smart. If she had to describe the colour, it would be a kind of pale gold. She wasn’t sure why. 

It stretched through most of her mind, spindling and twisting and calculating. 

“I can feel my presence.” She muttered.

“Anything else?” 

Theta looked closer. 

She could feel the edge of Koschei’s presence, maybe because he was sat next to her. His was a lot sharper, and jagged. Comforting, and hot, but a deep maroon that made Theta feel as if she should stay on her choices. 

“You. I can kind of feel your presence.”

“Is that all?” He asked. 

“No. There’s something else. I can’t figure out what it is though.” She frowned, delving deeper. 

“Look closer.” Koschei encouraged, as she did. 

It was dark. Black- even. A virus in her brain, almost like a disease spreading. And when Theta touched it, it burnt, made her feel queasy. 

“It’s Torvic.” She whispered. “Everything I feel about what happened, it’s all manifested into a form, at the back of my mind.” 

“Try not to focus on that now,” he said, after a pause. “Go back to your own presence.” Theta turned from the guilt and waded her way back towards her own form. 

It was swirling, sparking slightly. It was hurting. 

“Ok.” She decided not to mention it to him. 

“Is this hurting at all?” Koschei asked. “Because this kind of thing is supposed to take years. And it’s supposed to hurt like a bitch every time, but you’re not even breaking a sweat.”

“I feel fine.” She shrugged. 

“Fascinating.” He murmured, more to himself than her. She kicked him in the shin from where she was sat cross legged on the floor besides him. 

“Oi. Girlfriend.”

“It was a compliment!”

“A compliment you’d give to your science experiment.” She grumbled. 

“Focus, Thee’.” He scoffed gently. 

“Ok. Yeah, I feel fine. What now?” 

“Do you think you can try putting your walls up again? Like you did last time?” 

She hummed, frowning.

“I could try.” Theta focused on her presence. It was more difficult this time. When she’d done it the last time, her conscience had been swirling into one clump, but now it was all over the place, and hard to contact. 

She focused on cutting off communication with anything that wasn’t her own self, building up strong walls that could neither be broken nor climbed over. 

Anything that did get in that wasn’t her, Theta crushed, forcing back out again. 

“Have you done it?” Koschei asked. 

“Yeah. I think so.” She nodded. “I- Ow!” There was a shooting pain through her skull and Theta’s eyes shot open, walls crumbling as she put a hand to her head. 

“What happened?” Koschei asked, putting a hand on her upper arm as Theta groaned. 

“Headache. Jeez.”

“How does it feel?” He frowned deeply. 

“Sharp. Like someone just shoved a knife through my brain.” 

“Ok, that’s enough for today.” He frowned worriedly, helping her up and onto her bed. “Do you need anything?” 

“No. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” She shook off. 

“Theta, you know what you’ve just done?” He took her hands. “You just did what takes most people a decade, and you did it in forty minutes.”

“What can I say?” She shrugged. “I’m a talent.”

“You’re impossible.” He scoffed. “Now get some rest. We shouldn’t push you too hard- lord knows what will happen.”

Theta flopped back against the pillows, curling up like she usually did. 

“Worry wart.” She teased. He pressed a kiss to her temple. It was light, like a butterfly. 

“Boyfriend.” He shrugged. 

-

“I can’t believe we’re in another war.” Pewthru groaned. “I mean, how many Time Wars have there got to be before they get bored?” 

“Apparently this ones going to be called the Cloister Wars.” Lareth pointed out across the table. 

“Yeah, probably cuz they got bored of calling them the Time Wars. It sounds a bit lame if they say they’re declaring the sixth Time War.”

“Is it the sixth?” She frowned. 

“As if I know.” He shrugged. “One is one too many.”

“Pewthru, grand master pacifist.” Koschei scoffed. The other shrugged. 

“You’re not catching me fighting in any wars. I’ll refuse.”

“If we get drafted and you do that, you’ll be sent to prison.” Koschei pointed out dryly. The boy nodded. 

“Fine by me. I’m not killing anyone.”

“They’re Daleks, Pew’.” Rethra hopped in. “They deserve it.”

“I think that’s very noble.” Theta interjected, and Pewthru smiled at her. 

“Thank you.”

“You can’t talk, Theta.” Kathla scoffed. “You’re not exactly a grand master pacifist. I’ve seen you swing some punches in your time.” 

“When was the last time I did that?” She raised her eyebrows, and Kathla shrugged. 

“I dunno. A while. Not done it since Torvic was around.” 

“Exactly.” Theta nodded. “I’m a changed woman. I’m now a pacifist.” Koschei shot her a look with a fond skepticism. 

“Are you going to refuse draft too?” He asked. 

“Maybe. Just to keep you on your toes.” She teased, her friend rolling his eyes. 

“We’re not going to get drafted.” Sanfej rolled his eyes. “We’re still in Academy. They don’t draft people from Academy unless they have all other soldiers out.” 

“It would be kinda cool if we were though,” Rethra shrugged. “But I think only some of us would be any good at being soldiers.” 

“Who?” Pewthru asked. 

“Hmm.” She scanned the table. “Kathla. I think you’re strong willed enough.”

“Thank you?” Kathla clearly didn’t know wether or not that was a compliment. 

“Koschei, definitely.” She nodded at him. “You’re really tough I reckon. I feel like you’d be great at detaching yourself emotionally from situations.” 

Theta didn’t like how close she hit the nail on the head. 

“Theta,” Rethra frowned at her for a moment. “I think you’re fast enough. But I’m not sure you have it in you to kill someone.” 

Theta tensed minutely. Koschei pressed his leg against hers, immediately attempting to ground her. 

“No, neither.” She laughed dryly. 

“I think you could.” Sanfej decided. “I reckon Theta would be the one no one would expect. She’d murder us all and none of us would ever see it coming.” 

Theta wanted to be sick at the thought. 

She would never do anything of the sort. She never wanted to hurt anyone ever again. And she wouldn’t, if she had any self respect for the promises she’d made to herself. 

-

“Koschei?” She frowned, coming out of the bathroom. Koschei was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He looked really tired. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Just, haven’t been sleeping well, as of late.”

Theta frowned, sitting besides him. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Just, never came up.” He shrugged. 

“What’s keeping you awake?” She asked gently, turning to look at him as she dried her hair. 

“The drumming. It’s felt like it’s got louder. But- maybe I’m just going mad.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m sure you’re not. It might be a little worse now, for some reason.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Just wished we’d figured out a way to get rid of it by now.”

“We will.” She reassured, throwing the towel across the room at his desk and taking his hand. “Maybe once we figure this telepathy thing, we can sort it out with that.” 

He frowned a little. 

“Yeah, maybe. Hadn’t thought of that.”

“Budge up.” She ordered, and he did. Theta lay next to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and tugging him close into the crook of he neck. 

“Isn’t it usually me doing this?” He scoffed amusedly. Theta shushed him, fingers coming to run through his hair. 

“Listen to my hearts.” She murmured. Koschei paused, before shifting better to get a good feel of her pulses. 

He sighed out slowly, closing his eyes. And Theta held him, running her fingers through his hair and watching him fall asleep. 

She was so grateful for Koschei. She loved him so much. He really was everything to her, and she couldn’t have asked for anyone better to be her best friend. To be her world- as cheesy as she thought it sounded. 

Theta closed her eyes, yawning and tucking her chin on top of his head. 

This time, there was a lot more maroon, and it was gently lacing itself into a pale golden light. 


	31. Thirty-one

“I just don’t understand.” Koschei groaned, dropping the book moodily onto the desk. “It doesn’t make sense, you shouldn’t be able to do this.” 

“Do you think figuring out why I can is going to help me control it?” Theta asked from the windowsill, half with skepticism, and the other with genuine curiosity. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted. “But you shouldn’t find it this easy. It’s..” she frowned at him as he searched for the words. “It’s like you’ve done this before.” 

“I haven’t, Kos.” She laughed gently. “I think I’d remember if I’d done something like this before.” 

“But, none of it makes sense.” He repeated, turning to her. “And this isn’t the first time you’ve done something that shouldn’t be possible.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned, a little put off by how intense he was being. 

“The Cloisters. Theta we were twenty-two, we were still in Lower. You shouldn’t have been able to get out of there- how? How did you do that?”

She shrugged noncommittally. 

“I don’t know. I just worked it out.” 

“But that’s not possible!” Koschei huffed, exasperated. “It’s like- it’s like you don’t know how monumental that was.” He waved his arms around a bit in an attempt to prove his point. “Theta, there is a war going on right now because the Dalek’s have entire armies trying to get into the Matrix. And you just waltzed in there, and got out again. No-one has ever been able to do that, not in the history of Gallifrey. So how?”

“It wasn’t hard.” She sighed, a little frustrated about why he was fixating on something so little to her. “It makes sense if you think about it for long enough.”

“Clearly all the hundreds of races that have tried to get in and failed before disagree.” 

“Look, Kos,” Theta huffed, swinging her legs off of the windowsill and turning to look at him properly. “It’s just maths. I did the calculations, and it got me out. I’m nothing special, I just used my brain, which isn’t even that smart. If I can do it, I’m sure anyone else in the Academy could.” 

“I think you are special.” He decided, sitting back with narrowed eyes. “Because maths doesn’t account for the telepathy.”

“Everyone has different brain development rates. Maybe that’s why. And maybe that’s why I could figure out the Cloisters so young. But you going on about it, is getting on my nerves, so can we please go and get some dinner?” 

Koschei frowned at her deeply for a moment, eyes piercing with skepticism and a scathing analysis, before they cleared and he stood up.

“Yeah, fine.” 

-

“How old are you, Theta?” 

Theta frowned from the shower, listening to him call outside. 

“What?” She called. 

“How old are you?”

“You know how old I am, I’m the same age as you!”

“Which is?” He asked. Theta frowned deeply, pausing. 

“You’re being weird.”

“Just tell me how old you are, Thee’.”

“Eighty-seven, same as you.” She began to massage out the product from her hair, listening for any signs as to why Koschei was being so..off. 

“What’s your earliest memory?”

“Koschei, what are you doing?” She sighed deeply. “Can I not shower in peace anymore?”

“Just this question, then I’ll leave you alone.” He reassured from outside the door. Theta groaned, letting her arms drop from her hair. 

“I don’t know,” she huffed. “Probably..going into the Citadel. With the other kids, for the first time.”

“How old were you?”

“You said you wouldn’t ask anymore questions!” Theta turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel tightly around her. She opened the door with a scowl, and Koschei raised his eyebrows at her. “I was probably seven. Why are you asking me all of this?”

“Curious.” He shrugged. 

“You’re a terrible liar.” She muttered, eyes narrow with annoyance. “Why, are you asking?”

“Because,” he shrugged meekly, before sighing. “I just wanted to know if you had anything..out of the ordinary ever happen. Wether your childhood was out of the ordinary..or, anything happened that lead to your mind being more developed than everyone else’s.” 

Theta sighed deeply, eyes clearing and expression becoming more tired, and fed up. 

“Koschei, please can you drop this? I don’t like not knowing as much as you don’t, but I don’t constantly want to talk about my brain. I’m not your science experiment, I’m your girlfriend, and I’m tired.” 

He immediately dropped back in guilt, and nodded. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He leant forward and pecked her on the lips. Theta smiled a little. “You are my girlfriend, and I’m very lucky.” He said gently, moving to stroke at her cheekbone with a thumb. 

“Sap.” She grumbled noncommittally. 

“You’re also my girlfriend, and you’ve got your entire neck and collarbones out.” Koschei pointed out, raising his eyebrows. Theta rolled her eyes. 

“Turn your back if it embarrasses you. I wouldn’t have had to come out here if you weren’t being so annoyingly curious.”

“This is true.” He shrugged, ducking down to press a hot kiss to her still wet collarbone. Theta scoffed, pushing him away gently. 

“Oh piss off, ruffian. Let me change in peace.”

“You’re no fun.” He pouted playfully. 

“You’re a liability.” She rolled her eyes, and shut the door in his face with a fond smile. 

-

“You know,” Koschei frowned, absently threading his fingers through her hair. Theta hummed tiredly, closing her eyes. “I’m not sure I’ve seen you pick up any of those books for years.” He nodded towards the books that had sat, gathering dust on Theta’s shelf, since Torvic’s death. 

She paused, contemplating lying to spare herself the trouble. But it was Koschei, and she knew he’d see right through her. 

“Yeah. Not since Torvic.”

“Why?” He asked gently. “You haven’t even touched the one about insects. That’s your favourite.”

She shrugged a little with a quiet sigh against his neck. 

“I don’t know. I’m worried that if I try and let myself enjoy them, all I’ll be able to see will be him. I don’t want to ruin them. And- I don’t know. A lot of the time I feel like I don’t deserve to enjoy what I used too.”

“Why?” Koschei asked curiously. Theta frowned up at him. It seemed pretty obvious to her. 

“Because I murdered him, Kos.” She pointed out. “That’s an awful thing to do.” 

He shrugged slightly. 

“You make it seem a lot more black and white than it was. You had good intentions.”

“Well clearly I didn’t.” Theta frowned. “I could’ve just pulled him off of you. Knocked him out. I didn’t have to go that far.”

“Yes,” Koschei agreed, fingers slipping through her still drying hair. “But you did. It doesn’t matter anymore, Theta. You can’t change anything.”

“I know. But- I don’t know. I feel like I deserve to punish myself, even if it’s in a small way.” She sighed, picking gently at his shirt. 

“You won’t always feel that way. I won’t let you. One day you’ll see that what you did was right. You’ll see that you were justified, and you shouldn’t punish yourself for something that’s in the past.”

“Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean you shouldn’t face consequences.” Theta argued, quietly. “Like- if you killed a bunch of people, you should still go to trial and be punished for it.”

“Should you?” He raised an eyebrow, and Theta resisted the urge to look at him like he’d gone mad. “Surely it depends on the situation. Who you’re murdering, and why. Situation ethics, my love.”

“Yeah- of course. But even if they’re bad people, that doesn’t mean you should go unpunished. Surely that just makes you as bad as them.”

“I’m not sure it does.” Koschei frowned. “Not if you’re doing the right thing.”

“Is murder ever the right thing?” She argued, looking up at him.

“I believe so. In some instances. Not sure I’m entirely on board with your new grand master pacifist regime, yet.” He scoffed. Theta hummed, nodding and looking back down. 

The conversation put her on edge, if only slightly. She didn’t care about Koschei having differing views, and she could see where he was coming from. But Theta was sure she was right, considering the situation she’d found herself in, previously. 

“No,” she agreed. “I’m not sure you are.”


	32. Thirty-two

“Where have you been?” Koschei frowned at her as Theta slipped into the room late one night. 

She grinned, and whipped out a bottle behind her back. “What is that?” 

“Whats it look like?” She scoffed. “It’s Rethroberry wine.” 

“Where the hell did you get that?” He frowned disapprovingly, only with a slight curiosity. 

“It got confiscated from someone, and it was just sitting there, in a box, so I figured, we shouldn’t let it go to waste.” 

“And you thought that would be a good idea, why?” Koschei groaned. 

“I didn’t. I just thought it would be fun.”

Of course they’d drank before. At the end of every semester, a party was held, but because it was organised by the Academy, they were never any good, and no one could get anywhere near drunk enough for it to get interesting. 

“You don’t think maybe we should keep out of trouble whilst we’re still suspects in a murder?”

“If we can hide that, we can hide this. You worry too much, darlin’.” She shrugged, passing him the bottle and striding over to Koschei’s window, throwing it open and clambering out. She took the bottle back from him and jumped upwards, pulling herself up onto the roof. 

She heard Koschei sigh beneath her, before he followed, hauling himself up onto the roof and sitting beside her. Theta pried the lid off of the bottle with a grin. 

“Why were you even in confiscations?” He asked, as Theta took a deep swig. 

“Oh y’know, just..exploring. No ones in there in the evenings, and for some reason it’s never locked. I wasn’t going to pass up on a free bottle of alcohol. Especially not alcohol expensive as this.” She passed him the bottle, and Koschei frowned at it, before shrugging and taking a long drink. 

“Are you bored?” Theta asked, wrapping her arms around her knees loosely and looking at him. Koschei frowned. 

“What do you mean?”

“At the Academy.” She gestured around them. “Do you feel like your mind is being challenged?”

Koschei looked at her for a moment, before shaking his head. 

“No, not really. It’s boring, but I’m looking forward to doing telepathy. And I can’t be that bored, you keep me on my toes.”

“Good.” She grinned, taking the bottle from him and letting the alcohol burn the back of her throat again. Theta was never one hugely into drinking- there were people on campus that were far worse than her. 

But she was one for getting into trouble, and doing things for the sole purpose of the risk. So, for her, it had been more exciting to get the bottle. Still, now she had it, she was hardly going to waste it. 

“Somethings got to stimulate your brain.” She shrugged, passing the bottle back to him and lying down on her back. 

It was dusk, a dark orange that was slowly morphing into black, the beginning of stars beginning to glitter behind then orange. 

“When we get out of here, and we go see the universe together, we’ll never be bored.” She decided. Koschei hummed in thought, drinking from the bottle. 

“What kind of thing do you want to see?” He asked, looking back at her from where she was lying on the floor of the roof. 

“Everything! New species, culture. Music, food, art, science, religion, history, geography. I want to see every star, and every black hole and every nebula. I want to understand why it is the way it is.”

“Don’t you think understanding it is a little boring?” He asked. Theta frowned. 

“What do you mean? What would you rather do?”

“I don’t know.” Koschei shrugged, handing her the bottle and lying back with her. “I just mean- like, is seeing it enough?”

“We don’t have the power to do anything more.” Theta shrugged. “And I think it is. There’s such wonderful things out there, Koschei, and we haven’t seen any of them. I want to know more than Gallifrey.” 

He didn’t say anything for a moment. 

“Me too.” He sighed. “I’ve never felt like we properly fit in here. Y’know?”

“Yeah. I do.” She nodded. “It’s always felt like we were..not more than everyone else, but..like we were meant for something significant.”

“Maybe we are.” Koschei shrugged, taking the bottle again. “Only the Matrix can tell.” 

“But why?” She asked, frowning at the sky. “Why do we feel like that? I’m sure we’re not that much smarter than everyone else.”

“I think we are.” Koschei hummed gently against the lip of the bottle. “Well- me at least. I’m the brains, you’re the brawn. In the sense of strength of mind- I mean.” She raised an eyebrow. “Ok fine, also physically. You can punch better than me.”

“Yeah I can.” She grinned, and Koschei rolled his eyes, putting the bottle aside. “Oi! It was my turn.”

“Come here then,” he shrugged, rolling onto his side to face her. “My lips taste just the same.”

“Please take up poetry,” Theta groaned. “You need an outlet for all of the sappy stuff that comes out of your mouth.” The blow was lessened when she pressed a kiss to his lips, which quickly became far deeper. He wrapped his arms around her waist as Theta smiled into his lips, kissing him slowly and fiercely. 

“Taste the same?” He asked, pulling away minutely. 

“Mhm, come back,” she huffed gently, before kissing him again. Koschei put a hand on the small of her back, rolling them slowly until Theta could feel the press of the roof to her back. “Always got to be in power.” She teased, nipping at his lip. She didn’t mind really, and it wasn’t a real observation. Koschei shrugged. 

“Most of the time when I’m with you, I feel completely powerless. This just evens out the playing field.”

“Fair enough.” She laughed. 

-

“Class, as you all know, today is a big day.” Theta perked up. Clearly she hadn’t been listening when he’d explained what was so important. She frowned at Koschei, who rolled his eyes and nodded at their professor, as if to tell her to listen. “Because today, you will begin your telepathy practice.” 

An excited murmur flood throughout the room, and Theta glanced back at Koschei, who smiled and gave her a thumbs up. 

“Now, this process will be a long and extremely frustrating one. I don’t expect any of you to be able to get past the next step for at least a few years. And if you don’t get it immediately, the chances are, you’re doing it right. If you think you are getting it after a few months, you’re probably doing it wrong.” 

Theta frowned at Koschei, and he gently shook his head, before mouthing, 

“You’re doing it right. I’m sure of it.” 

She nodded a little and turned back to their professor. 

“Now, the first step is to be able to find your own presence. This takes a lot of concentration, and you need to be able to let go and go into your own mind. I wish I could tell you there was a complicated technique, but really, it’s just a lot of trial and error. It may feel ridiculous to begin with, but I promise you it will be worth it.” 

Theta looked around her, to see her classmates apprehensively looking at one another or closing their eyes. 

Theta glanced at Koschei, who shrugged and closed his eyes. So she did the same. 

And there she was. 

Right in the centre of her mind, bright and excited. Koschei’s presence was teetering on the edge of her brain, and she could even feel the corner of her professors. It was green, and gave her some insight into what he was like as a person. 

She wondered what he was thinking, but she assumed she’d never know. Besides, he was a time lord, he would’ve put his walls up. 

She could taste the buzz of excitement on her tongue, and the apprehension, fear of being ridiculous fell upon her ears. 

When Theta found nothing much new in her head, she opened her eyes, and locked them with her professor, Mr Lenkatha. 

He was looking at her with something deep, and Theta longed to look into his head and try to understand it. 

“Miss Theta?” He said quietly. “How are you doing?”

“I think this is going to take me a long time.” She lied. The look in his eyes cleared only slightly, and he laughed gently. 

“That’s alright. That’s expected. Besides, you’ve never done this before.” 

“Yeah,” she nodded, “that’s true.” 


	33. Thirty-three

Theta gasped, jolting up right. 

Koschei sat up with her, rubbing at her back. 

“It’s ok.” He began to murmur, rubbing at his eyes. 

“No, no I’m fine.” She shook her head. “I just- had a thought. I think..I think I might know how to get rid of the noise in your head,” Theta looked back at him, and Koschei’s eyes widened in the darkness, full of hope and apprehension and skepticism. 

“What?” He whispered. “How?”

“I don’t- I don’t want to get your hopes up. And I’m not entirely sure. We need to go to the Library of Gallifrey. I’ll do a bit more research, and then I’ll know if I’m right or not.” 

“But we don’t have another lessonless for months.” Koschei pointed out with a frown, and Theta shook her head. 

“We’re not waiting that long.”

“We can’t skip class.” He frowned. 

“Figuring this out is more important than a couple of lessons. What’s the time?”

“Six thirteen.” He frowned. Theta jumped out of bed, crossing the room and grabbing a scrap piece of paper. She scribbled a note down, saying:

‘Koschei and I have got a really contagious fever, don’t come and see us! Please tell our professors, thanks, -Theta.’ 

“Here, I’ll go slide this under Lareth’s door. Get ready. We have to go before anyone’s awake.”

“Theta, you don’t have to do this.” Koschei frowned. “If we’re found out, we could get in serious trouble. I can wait.”

“I know you can. But you shouldn’t have too. You’ve waited long enough.”

“But it’s not that easy,” he pulled himself out of bed, “there’s a war on, Theta. It’s dangerous to be in the Citadel right now.”

“If people are still living there, I’m sure we can spend one day there. It’ll be ok.” She reassured. Koschei frowned deeply, before sighing. 

“Fine.” He muttered. Theta leant forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, before creeping out into the corridor. 

She silently made her way to Lareth’s door, sliding the paper underneath, and slipping back into her dorm. 

The two of them hurriedly got washed and changed, before leaving Theta’s room, door locked, and slipping out of the building. 

They made their way across campus towards the tram station a little ways away. 

It was strange, being awake so early in the morning, before even the birds were awake. The air was crisp, but Koschei’s hand was warm in hers. Her skin was chilled, and Theta could feel the collecting dew drops in the atmosphere around her. 

It helped to calm her nerves. 

She wanted to get it right for him. Theta wanted to make sure her calculations, and her theory were right. If they weren’t, and she couldn’t help him, Theta was sure she’d feel like she’d betrayed him. Like she hadn’t been smart enough. 

She didn’t want him to suffer anymore. 

The two of them were the only ones on the tram. They sat besides one another, watching the suns rise in the orange sky. 

“I don’t like orange.” Koschei decided. “Wouldn’t it be nicer if everything was a different colour?”

“That would be nice.” She hummed. “I do get a little sick of orange.”

“What about blue? What if the sky was blue?” He considered. 

“Blue? But that’s a mourning colour. Don’t you think that would make everything quite sad?” Theta was glad for the idle chat. It helped her feel like maybe things would be alright. Even if she couldn’t help like she wanted too. 

“Not if it was a light blue. It would be nice, I think.” He shrugged, before turning his attention to the oncoming Citadel. Koschei’s breath caught, and he took her hand. “Theta, I really don’t know if this is a good idea.” 

She turned her attention from the sky and towards the capital. It was battered and bruised. Small smoke trails were wisping upwards from all around the city, and it was clear there were some fires. 

There didn’t seem to be any kind of battle going on that Theta could see, more just the aftermath of one. 

“I’m sure it’ll be ok.” She said softly. “They wouldn’t have kept the tramlines up if it was that dangerous.” 

The two of them got off and began their way into the city. Now that it was comfortably morning, people were beginning to wake and come out to start their daily routines- or, what they had left of it, with the chaos around them. 

People were quiet and didn’t smile, didn’t look at them as they made their way up streets. 

For the most part, it looked rather untouched, nothing more than a gentle settling of dust. 

But every now and again, there would be a space, where a building once was, filled only with rubble and dust and orange debris. 

Theta glanced up at the smoke plumes, wondering where each of them was coming from, and how long ago there had been a battle. 

“Why is no one telling us about this back at the Academy?” Koschei wondered out loud besides her, and Theta shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Don’t want us to lose hope? Don’t want us to know anything about the outside, so we can focus on our studies.”

“That’s stupid, if that’s what they’re trying to do. Sheltering us won’t help anyone, especially not if we have to fight, in the end.” He huffed. Theta frowned distractedly at a particular plume of smoke, that was large and dark, and close. 

“We won’t.” She muttered absently at the smoke, before picking up her speed a little to round the next corner. 

Koschei followed close behind her, picking up speed even more as her panic grew in her chest. Theta skidded around the next corner, and the next, Koschei calling after her. 

Then he almost ran straight into the back of her, as Theta stopped dead. 

“No..” she breathed out. 

The Library of Gallifrey lay at their feet, nothing more than a pile of rubble and old, worn, beautiful, burnt books. Theta felt awful. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she felt as if she’d betrayed Koschei. 

Her only plan, his only possibility for getting out of the hell that was his own brain were in those pages, and now they lay, nothing more than ash and dust. 

Theta ripped her eyes away from the destruction to turn to Koschei, who’s eyes were filled with hopelessness, and sorrow, as he turned back to her. 

“Koschei, I-“ the two grabbed onto one another to steady themselves as the floor shook beneath them, an explosion filling her ears from her right. 

Theta followed the noise, and the subsequent screaming, she saw a new smoke plume billow into the sky. Her gaze glanced up as it went, and saw something, that she hadn’t seen since that day in the Cloisters. 

“What is that?” Koschei muttered besides her. 

“That..” she breathed, grabbing his hand. “Is a Dalek. Come on, it’s not safe here. Let’s get back.” Koschei nodded, and the two of them began to hurriedly make their way back towards the way they’d came. 

“I didn’t know they could fly.” He frowned besides her, looking back over his shoulder. 

“Neither did I, but I’m not sure I want to stick around to find out how they do it.” She muttered. That wasn’t actually true, Theta would love to do that. But she didn’t fancy putting Koschei in danger. She’d let him down enough already. 

They hurried their way back towards the tram station, navigating the winding streets, and ducking from people running and screaming. 

They were about three streets away, and Theta was starting to let herself get hopeful, that they’d be fine. 

And then Koschei was ripped from her. 

Or rather, she was ripped from him. 

Theta felt her back slam against the wall before any heat from the explosion hit her. 

She was flung against the building like a fly, and she hit the ground with just as much force. 

Theta didn’t feel all that hurt, it was more just the noise. 

The ringing in her ears filled her entire brain, vibrating it. She groaned, curling up in on herself immediately and covering her ears with her hands. 

Dust clogged her eyes and mouth. It buried it’s way into her cuts and grazes, itching it’s way into her very bones and muscle. 

Theta wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t on fire. 

That’s what it felt like. 

She could still feel the heat on her face from something in front of her, even if she couldn’t see what it was. The little part of her brain that wasn’t throbbing, told her to move, that she couldn’t stay where she was. 

So Theta dragged herself upwards, legs screaming and jarring against shock, as she heaved forward, coughing and trying her best to work her way out of the cloud of dust. 

She stumbled over something, continuing her way forward. She had the overwhelming urge to look for Koschei, but knew, logically, she’d be no help to him if she couldn’t see three feet in front of her. 

Theta felt her way around the heat, waving the dust from her face and attempting to pry her eyes open. 

And then a hand grabbed hers, and dragged her to the left. 

As soon as she was in cleaner air, Theta sucked it in, blinking tears into her eyes in an attempt to clear them of dust. 

“Are you ok?” She heard Koschei quietly over the ringing, pressing a hand to her cheek. He looked unscathed, if only dusty and slightly battered. Theta blinked at him, once, then twice, before nodding. 

The ringing began to subside as he squeezed her hand, pressing a firm kiss to it. 

“We have to keep going.” He said, and Theta nodded again. 

He began back the same direction, this time starting off into a run. Theta could think of a million things she’d rather be doing than running, but she didn’t have a choice. 

At least she was good at it. It was like second nature, she could run now, and sort herself out later. 

So they ran. The two of them bolted back towards the station, leaping over rubble and dodging fires, before jumping on the first tram they saw and collapsing against the wall. 

The tram began to move and Theta coughed up her dusty lungs, attempting absently to get the itch of the rubble out from beneath her clothes. 

It was in her hair, she could see it in her peripheral. Her hair was dusty orange, and..red. 

Why was it red?

She frowned, touching two fingers to her scalp. Theta pulled her fingers away, finding them coated with slick, red blood.

“I’m bleeding.” She pointed out quietly, ringing finally fading into nothingness. Koschei frowned deeply at her. 

“Let me look.” He pushed onto high knees to look through her scalp gently. “This was a stupid idea, Theta.” He scolded softly. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I just wanted to help you..I didn’t want to let you down.”

“You could never let me down, my love. And even if you did, I’d rather you let me down and lived, than didn’t and died for it.” 


	34. Thirty-four

Theta hissed in pain, and Koschei winced at her reaction. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, “but I have to clean it. It can’t get infected.”

“I know.” She sighed. “It still hurts.”

“I know, it’s ok. It’s almost over.” He murmured, moving some of her hair to dab at the gash on her head. 

“It doesn’t need stitches though, right?”

“No, I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “You’ll just need to wear your hair a little differently for a while, to cover it up. And I’d probably lay off the telepathy.”

“I’ll try.” She muttered. If Theta was honest, she just wanted to shower. Koschei has insisted on clearing up her cuts first, especially the one on her head, for fear of it being worse than he thought. He didn’t want Theta to possibly pass out in the shower and hurt herself even more. 

So she was sat at her desk, covered in itchy dust and smoke, Koschei dabbing at her wound. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” She frowned. Koschei hummed. 

“Yes, Theta, I promise I’m fine. I didn’t even get knocked off of my feet, I just need a shower.” He said gently, focusing more on her hairline. 

“That’s not what I mean.” She murmured. Koschei’s nimble fingers paused for a second. 

“I’m fine. I’ve lived with it for all this time already, I can do it for longer.”

“But you shouldn’t have too.” She sighed deeply. Theta was incredibly frustrated, and felt guilty that her plan had fallen through, and that she’d put Koschei in danger in the process. 

“Well,” he murmured, “is there any possibility it could work if you don’t double check the books?” 

“No,” Theta frowned. She liked a risk, but that was too far, even for her. “It’s dangerous. If I’m wrong, you could be killed.”

“You don’t have a particular habit of being wrong, my love.” Koschei shrugged, stepping back. She glanced up at him. 

“I was today.” She admitted.

“You made a mistake. It was as much on me, for not trying to stop you. Now, take it easy, and get up slowly.” 

He watched as Theta wobbled upwards. Her head swam for a moment, and she groaned, holding a hand to her temple. 

“You might need to wait for that shower.” He frowned, considering the scenario. 

“I’m not doing that. I’ll take my chances, I’m having a wash.” She frowned defiantly, and Koschei sighed. 

“Fine. I’ll go after you.”

“You have your own shower.” Theta pointed out. 

“You go have a shower,” he ignored her. “Leave the door unlocked though, ok?”

“Ok.” She sighed, before reaching forward and taking Koschei’s hand. “I mean it, Kos’. I’m sorry I put you in danger, it won’t happen again.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He shrugged, shooting her a small smile. “It was the most exhilarating thing to have happened in a long while.” Theta laughed. 

“It was. But also the most terrifying.”

“Yeah, that too. But we both made it out, and you’re safe, which is what matters to me.” He said gently, squeezing her hand. 

“I was worried about you too.” She admitted, turning towards the bathroom. “I thought for a moment something terrible had happened.”

“Well, it hadn’t, so we’re ok. Now stop stressing yourself out, and go and take a shower. Go slow, don’t hurt yourself.”

“Yeah, ok mother.” She scoffed gently, closing the door behind her but not locking it. Theta stripped off her clothes and turned the shower on, waiting for it to heat up for a moment before stepping inside. 

She watched the water at her feet turn a muddy orange, as she scrubbed herself clean of dust. It felt a lot better to get all of the debris and dried blood out of her hair. She closed her eyes and tilted her chin back, feeling the dust wash away from her cheeks and nose. 

Theta sighed gently. She felt awful for letting Koschei down, no matter what he had said. She’d thought they might really have a shot at making it all more bearable, but of course, the universe was never that kind. 

Throwing the two of them together seemed to be the only kind thing the universe had ever done for them. 

Theta left the shower running, wrapping herself up in a towel and swapping out with Koschei, who took his turn to wash away the dust. 

The young woman got changed, and sat, trying to figure out the best way to hide the large gash on her head with her head. In the end, Theta decided it was a rather fruitless activity, and if anyone asked, she’d just say she’d smacked her head on her bed post or something. 

Theta was fairly sure no one would snitch if they knew where they’d actually been, but it wasn’t a risk she was willing to take- what with her seven strikes on her record that year. 

Koschei slipped out of the shower, changed and fresh, and looked at her. 

“You feeling any better?” He asked. 

“A little. I can’t get my hair right, so I’m just gonna say I hit it if anyone asks.”

“As long as you make it believable.” He shrugged. 

“Making lies believable is pretty much second nature now.” She muttered, adjusting her hair once again. 

-

Theta nudged Koschei, where the two of them were sat on the bank, in the twenty minutes they had before their next class started. 

“They’re back.” She pointed out gravely. 

Mr Kethar and Mr Trithua were crossing campus behind Mr Delathorpo, files clutched between them, and red robes swaying behind them. 

“Christ, will they ever leave?” Koschei muttered. 

“Guess we’ll be pulled out of Geography.” She sighed. 

The more this happened, the less Theta worried. She knew that wasn’t a good thing, and it was important for her to keep on her toes, but she didn’t want to be on her toes anymore. She was tired of being on her toes. 

“Don’t get comfortable, Theta, you’ll get sloppy.” Koschei murmured, and she nodded. 

“I’m not going to get sloppy. I know the drill.” She muttered. “But why do they keep coming back? Surely the case must have gone cold by now.”

“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I’m assuming we’re going to find out.” 

-

And they did. Ten minutes into their next class, they were both pulled out, and led back down to the headmasters office. 

They were sat down, opposite Mr Kethar and Trithua, and watched Mr Delathorpo close the door behind him. 

“It’s good to see the two of you again,” Mr Kethar said smoothly. 

“I wish I could say the same about you, Sir.” Theta shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Ever polite, Miss Theta.” He sighed. “Now, I hate to say this, but my colleague and I cannot find any evidence linking you to the murder of Torvic Telleson.”

“Well, we could’ve told you that was going to happen from the start. Could’ve saved you the effort.” Koschei shrugged. 

“But I know you were involved.” Mr Kethar’s face twisted into a scowl as he leant forward. 

“I don’t see how you could know that without evidence, sir.” Koschei frowned. 

“I know you did it.” He growled. “And I will prove it. Because my division captain will not get off my back about this case. So I’ll do what I have to do.” He sat back with a smug smirk, and Theta suppressed the urge to shoot Koschei an uneasy glance. 

“You’re going to be working a long time. The murder was forty years ago.” Koschei shrugged. “And since we weren’t involved, you won’t find any evidence linking us to it.”

“So I’ll plant it.” He shrugged.

“What?” Theta frowned deeply. Mr Trithua stood up and made his way around the other side of the desk, producing a pair of electrical handcuffs. Theta watched in horror, and glanced down at Koschei, who’s panic was flickering in his eyes. 

“Koschei Oakdown, I’m arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Torvic Tellson.”

“You can’t do that!” Theta rounded on Mr Kethar as his colleague forced the handcuffs onto Koschei’s wrists. “You don’t have any evidence!”

“I’ll make evidence.” He shrugged. 

“We both have this memory. He’ll show it to a court, they’ll see what you’ve said.” She rebutted, and Mr Kethar shrugged. 

“Then I’ll wipe his memory.”

“Theta,” Koschei caught her attention as he was forced upwards. Theta looked back at him, heartbreak and fear filling her eyes. This was her fault. This was all her fault. “I’ll be ok.” He said gently. “I’ll be fine.”

“No,” Theta stood up, shaking her head as he was lead towards the door. “No, no they can’t do this.”

“Just worry about yourself, my love. I’ll be ok.” 

Theta looked between Koschei and Mr Kethar, who was stood around the other side of the desk. 

She made a split second decision. 

She was stronger, right? Koschei had said her mind was more powerful than his. Maybe she could stop herself from getting her memory wiped. 

“I murdered him!” She announced. All three men stopped dead, Koschei’s eyes filling with horror. 

“Theta, don’t you dare.” He hissed. 

“It doesn’t matter who you arrest, right?” She turned back to Mr Kethar, who nodded slowly, eyes raking over her face. “So take me. I just admitted. Use that in your stupid fucking case. Arrest me and let him go.”

“Theta!” Koschei tried. 

Mr Kethar narrowed his eyes at her for a moment, before slowly looking up at his colleague. 

“Let him go. Take her.” He muttered. 

Theta watched him release Koschei, and clamp handcuffs around her wrists. 

“Theta, you can’t do this.” Koschei tried again, stepping towards her as she was led out.

“I’m not going to let them take anything.” She reassured desperately. “I’ll come back to you. I promise.” 

He watched helplessly as she was led out. 

And then, clear as day, Theta heard his words echo between her ears. 

‘I love you.’ 

“I love you too.” She whispered, terror and hard rock determination setting in her stomach. 


	35. Thirty-five

Theta gave up on trying to not come off as nervous, leg bouncing uncontrollably. She watched the world go by outside as she sat in the back of the vehicle, on the way to the Citadel. 

She wasn’t even sure what she was in. It was like the tram, but it hovered above buildings. If she wasn’t on the brink of a double heart attack, Theta would have loved to take the time to figure how how they worked. 

She wasn’t sure what to do. But she knew she had to think of something. And fast. 

Mr Kathur turned to her, and Theta resisted the urge to deck him straight in his stupid, smug face. 

“You understand, I must wipe your memory of our previous conversation ever happening.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” She growled, watching his hands warily. 

“Miss Theta, whilst you might be ahead of the rest of your year, I am quite sure you won’t be able to stop me. I’ve got a thousand years on you.”

“Well I guess we’re going to find out, aren’t we?” Theta pushed her fear aside and set a match of anger, fury blossoming like a butterfly from a fragile cocoon. 

Mr Kathur raised his hand, leaning forward and pressing two fingers to Theta’s temple again. Theta squeezed her eyes shut, and concentrated. 

He was there, she could feel him. Sickly yellow and slimy, searching for the memory to burn. 

Theta kept it as far away from him as possible. The man prodded and poked, but Theta snarled, warding him off and blazing with golden fury. 

She let her presence grow, forcing him backwards and scolding him. 

Mr Kathur grew frustrated, forcing himself forward again, and grabbing the edge of the memory. Theta set her jaw, shoving his presence backwards as hard as she could. He tried again, but this time, she caught him, grinding him to a fine powder and spitting him back into his own head. 

Mr Kathur reeled backwards, fingers pulling away as he stared at her in horror. 

“Stay out of my head.” She spat, resigning herself to the furthest she could get away from him, in the limited space. Her head was pounding, gash reopened and ears ringing. She couldn’t keep this up, she wasn’t that developed yet. If he tried it again, Theta wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep him out. Best to keep him at a distance.

“How are you doing that?” He demanded. “You shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“I’m not answering any of your questions.” She said dryly. “I’m not in an interrogation.”

“You’ve been arrested.” He pointed out. 

“You’re a bent copper.” She shrugged back. “And you’re not taking this memory from me. Everyone’s going to know.”

“We’ll see about that.”

-

Theta glanced outside, keeping one eye on the men inside with her. 

The Citadel was still smoking, from the day before, and looked a little worse. It was strange to think about all that had happened the day before. 

She’d had a long twenty-four hours. 

And it was not about to end anytime soon. 

The hovering tram slowed to a stop, and Theta was led, hand on her back, out onto a platform, and down inside the Citadel building. 

She hadn’t been there since she’d broken into the Cloisters, but it looked pretty much the same. White walls, no decoration. The only difference was there was more people, running around and more frantic than the first time. 

She was led down winding corridors and stairwells, and in the end, Theta gave up trying to remember her way back out. It was fruitless. 

She didn’t know what to do. What she really needed, was for someone to realise that she wasn’t supposed to be there- that how she’d gotten there was completely illegal. 

But that was easier said than done. 

Still, Theta resigned to the fact, that her best course of action, was to do what she was good at: causing a ruckus. 

Mr Kathur sat her down in a corridor, before entering a room opposite her, with a large window. 

She watched he and Mr Trithua talk for a little, noticing how he was clearly frustrated and angry with the situation. 

Theta glanced about, searching for someone that looked important. 

There were plenty of Time Lords, all in red robes and regalia, but no one out of the ordinary. 

Until Theta noticed a man, in larger regalia, and complicated face paint lining his features. 

That was her best bet. 

Mr Kathur opened the door, taking her arm to stand her up, and Theta slammed her foot down on his toes. 

“Get off of me!” She yelled. She couldn’t do much in terms of physical self-defence; her hands were cuffed behind her back, but she could still scream the Citadel down if she needed too. 

“Theta, don’t do this here.” Mr Kathur hissed, attempting to tug her into the room. Attentions were caught as Theta dug her heels into the ground. 

“I’m not going anywhere!” She spat. “This is illegal! You had no grounds to arrest me!” 

Mr Trithua grabbed her other arm, the two men attempting to lift her off of her feet. 

“No! Get off me!” She demanded, seeing an opportunity, and immediately taking it. Theta threw her head back, before slamming it into Mr Kathur’s, sending them both backwards. 

He yelled in pain and put a hand to his head, fury roaring in his eyes and on her tongue. 

“You little bi-“

“Mr Kathur!” A sharp voice cut through the kerfuffle, and all three people turned to it. 

The man with face paint, was frowning at Mr Kathur. 

“Cardinal Othra, I apologise for this.” The officer bowed his head respectfully. “We were just in the middle of an arrest, and-“ he gestured towards Theta, and the Cardinal turned his attention to her. 

He frowned for a millisecond, before his expression broke into one of shock and disbelief, mouth opening slightly. 

“By the Gods..” he whispered, and Theta paused her panting to frown at him. He shook himself out of his daze, frowning at her deeply. “What’s your name, young lady?”

She considered giving her real name. 

“Theta, sir. I go to Prydonian Academy, sir.”

“Why have you been arrested, Miss Theta?” He asked calmly. Theta felt a wave of relief wash over her, but she was hesitant to let herself hope just yet. 

“Murder, sir. But they only arrested me because their Division Captain told them they had to arrest someone. I have the memory, you can look for yourself. They had no grounds for my arrest.” 

He regarded her for a moment, what looked like a small smile playing on his lips. Theta couldn’t help but think she might have met him before, and was tempted to ask. 

“Have you murdered anyone, Miss Theta?” 

She shook her head. 

“No sir.” She whispered. The Cardinal turned to Mr Kathur and Mr Trithua, gaze hardening. 

“Come with me, now. Both of you. Theta, stay here.” She did what she was told, sitting back down as she watched the two police officers be led back into the room with the glass. 

Theta watched as the Cardinal began to yell at them, and she squinted, watching his lips carefully. 

She caught a few words, that looked similar to ‘time lords’, and ‘regeneration,’ and a phrase that almost looked like ‘do you have any idea who she is?’ But Theta disregarded that one, because it didn’t make sense. 

She watched Mr Kathur and Mr Trithua shrink, muttering what looked like apologises and excuses. 

After a few moments, the Cardinal stepped out alone, gaze almost fond on her. 

“Miss Theta, I’m so sorry for this.” She just nodded. “I hate to ask, but I couldn’t take a quick look at this memory, could I?”

“Yes sir.” She nodded. Theta put her guard up, as the older man entered her mind. But she pushed the memory forward, showing him that, and only that, and he regarded it with anger and disappointment. 

Once it was over, Theta pulled away, and he sighed. 

“They will not be getting off lightly, for this, I can promise you that.” He murmured. 

“Am I still being arrested?” She asked quietly. 

“No, Theta. And I’m sorry you had to go through this. I can have someone take you back to the Academy immediately, if that’s what you want.” 

“No, it’s ok. I’ll take the tram.” She stood up shakily. “I could do with the walk.” Theta frowned at him. “Is this it? Are they going to leave me and my friend alone now?”

“Yes.” The Cardinal nodded. “They’ll lose their jobs over this.”

“Oh. Ok.” She breathed out a deep sigh of relief, so much so it was almost enough to bring her to tears. She couldn’t believe it was finally over. That no one was coming after her anymore. That she could go home and see Koschei. 

“Theta,” The Cardinal brought her back to reality, “I know you don’t know me, but if you ever need anything. Come to the Citadel, ask for me. I’m here to help you,”

Theta frowned a little at him. 

“Thank you, sir. But, may I ask, why?”

“My men have caused you such trouble for all these years, it’s the least I can do.” He hurriedly shrugged. 

Theta thought this entire situation was incredibly odd. She was feeling all kinds of overwhelmed, and honestly just wanted to go home, curl up and sleep. 

Not that sleep was ever any better. 

“Thank you, sir.” She said quietly. 

“Are you sure you’ll get the tram? It’s not very safe out there.”

“I know. I’ll be ok.”

“If you’re sure,” the Cardinal sent her a fond smile. “Look after yourself, Theta.”

“Thank you, sir. For everything.” 

“No. Thank you.” 


	36. Thirty-six

Theta was not on guard as she wandered through the city, only muscle memory carrying her back to the tram station. 

She had no idea what had just happened. 

None of it made sense. 

The Cardinal had absolutely no reason to believe her. She hadn’t had to prove her innocence, she just had to say she hadn’t done it, and she’d been let go. Theta supposed it might have been because there was a lack of evidence to arrest her in the first place, but it still seemed so odd to her that the Cardinal had immediately chosen to believe her over two police officers. 

The Cardinal. Theta had never seen him before, she was sure of it. All she knew was that he was on the High Council, if his title was anything to go by. But that didn’t explain why he’d looked at her like he knew her. Even like she was someone he cared for. 

Theta supposed she might have been reading into it too much. 

All she knew, was that she was aching. Her limbs were jarring against fatigue, her head was pounding, her legs were heavy, and all she wanted to do was find Koschei, and hold onto him. 

Theta sat as far away from the other passengers as possible on the tram, and she was vaguely aware that her head was bleeding again. 

Oh well. She’d sort it out later. 

Theta had to drag herself up when the tram squealed to a stop, just outside of the campus. She knew it was still a long walk back, and began it with exhaustion, but eagerness. 

Theta wasn’t sure what time it was- it looked to be about dinner, if her knowledge of the suns was anything to go by. So Theta headed for the dinner hall. 

She contemplated going to Koschei’s room to wait for him there, but Theta couldn’t bear the thought of waiting. 

She couldn’t believe how close she’d been to losing him. How he’d almost lost everything, for her mistake. For what she did. Theta couldn’t bear the thought. 

Her knees almost gave out in relief when she finally saw the dinner hall. 

Theta had never been this tired- it was almost scary. She knew it wasn’t just physically, her mind was aching. Theta had been using it way too much, protecting herself, and now it was catching up to her. 

“Koschei!” She tried tiredly, voice cracking half way through. The lack of reply almost brought tears to her eyes, when she knew she’d have to try again. “Koschei!!” Theta pulled to a stop, when she knew her legs would drag her no further. It was a miracle she was still on her feet. The young woman watched the door to the dinner hall, but there was nothing. One more. “Koschei!!!” 

The door flew open, and Koschei stopped dead, staring at her with wider eyes than Theta had ever seen.

“Theta..” he whispered, and suddenly the thirty metres between them seemed like thirty miles. 

“Koschei..please..” she watched him bolt towards her. Theta’s knees shook as she took one wobbly step forward. 

Koschei stopped her from taking any more though. 

He wrapped his arms so tightly around her, one coming to cradle her head, and the other her shoulders. Theta finally let out a choked sob, as the two of them crashed to their knees. 

“You’re ok.” Koschei whispered, both a reassurance and a surprised observation. “Oh thank the gods, you’re ok.” He pressed a fierce kiss to the top of her head. 

Theta clung to him, tighter than she ever had, relief wracking her body. 

“I was going to come after you. Tonight, when it got dark, I was going to come and find you.” He explained, pressing another kiss to her forehead. 

Theta finally looked up, eyes puffy and hair matted with blood. A survivor of a bloody battle, that was finally over. 

She heard the muttering of her classmates around them, having followed him out. Theta was vaguely aware that she didn’t want them to see her like this. 

And then Koschei kissed her. None of it mattered. Not her head, not her classmates, not Torvic, not the policeman, not the Cardinal. All that mattered, was that he was safe, and she was safe, and that it was finally over. He kissed her over and over, and Theta kissed him back, eyes wet with tears and relief. 

“I love you.” He whispered, careful to press his forehead to hers. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She sniffed. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“That this happened. That any of this ever happened.”

“Don’t be.” He whispered. “I’m sorry you’re the one who had to go through it.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.” She continued. “I couldn’t let them take you, not when it wasn’t you.”

“You’re exhausted, Theta, you need to just calm down and let your mind rest.” He said gently. “We can talk about all of this later, but you need to rest.”

“Ok.” She agreed readily, never more willing to sleep. Koschei pulled sway from the tangle of limbs, just enough to hoist her upwards. Theta wrapped her arms around his neck, head heavy as she rested it on his shoulder. 

Theta closed her eyes, and focused on the feeling of fabric beneath her fingers, Koschei’s warmth underneath her knees and her back, his breath and the noise his shoes made on the gravel beneath them. 

It was enough to lull Theta, to a very deep, and finally dreamless sleep. 

-

She awoke when it was day. 

Theta groaned.

She felt miles better: head no longer throbbing violently, and limbs no longer shaking. Still, there was an echo of an ache around her entire body, and her mind felt unpleasantly frazzled. 

“How are you feeling?” Koschei asked as he appeared from the bathroom, kneeling by her side. 

“Better.” Theta croaked, and he nodded, grabbing a glass of water from the bedside table and passing it to her. The young woman took greedy gulps of the liquid, Koschei pushing matted hair from her face as she did so. 

The water was soon gone, and Koschei put the glass back. 

“Good.” He nodded. 

“How long was I asleep?” She asked quietly, and he hummed. 

“A day and a half. I don’t know what you did Theta, but your head needed to do some serious repairs.”

“He was difficult to keep out.” She croaked. Koschei’s eyes flashed with anger, before clouding back into worry. 

“What happened?”

“He tried to take my memory. I didn’t let him.” Theta shrugged lightly, as much as her shoulders would let her. 

“But how did you get out?” 

“How do you think?” She smiled the smallest bit. “I made a scene.”

He scoffed, smiling fondly at her, and stroking her hair backwards. 

“Well, naturally.”

“You should’ve been there, Kos’. Should’ve seen the headbutt I got in.”

“Which one?” His eyes lit up. 

“Kathur.”

“Oh you beauty,” he laughed, and Theta scoffed. 

“I got the attention of this Cardinal, from the High Council. I told him they were bent, showed him my memory. He fired them both and let me go.” 

Koschei frowned. 

“What? Just like that?” 

“Yeah. That was the weird part.” She considered, forcing herself not to frown. “He looked at me like he knew me. He told me if I ever needed anything, I could come find him. And he thanked me.”

“What for?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” She shrugged. 

“Maybe he knew your parents?” Koschei suggested. 

“I didn’t give my name. I just said my name was Theta. And even if he had seen me, he wouldn’t have recognised me from when I was a baby. Which is the only time he could’ve, because I’m certain I’ve never seen him before.”

“Strange.” Koschei shrugged it off fairly easily. “Still, doesn’t matter all that much now. It’s finally over.” 

“I almost don’t want to believe it.” She considered. Koschei smiled, pressing a kiss to her nose. 

“Believe it, my darling. We’re out of the thick. Our hands are clean.”

Theta laughed as he leant forward and kissed her face again, scrunching up her nose. 

“Get off me, sap.”

“Make me.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline. “We’re partners in crime, you wouldn’t dare.”

“Don’t call us that,” she said, with no malice. 

“Why? It’s what we are.”

“Doesn’t mean I like it.” Theta tried to push herself upwards, and Koschei held a hand out. 

“Woah, where are you off to in a hurry?”

“A shower. Have you seen me?” 

“Course, you’re beautiful.” Theta rolled her eyes fondly. “But you need to rest.”

“I want to have a shower. I feel fine.”

Koschei seemed to contemplate it, before sighing. 

“Fine, just let me help you get up. Take it easy.”

“Why are you even here?” Theta asked, letting him pull her up gently. “You’re supposed to be in class.”

“Well I wasn’t going to leave you here, alone, was I?” He scoffed. “I’ll tell you, Theta, you are quite the talk of the town.”

“Do they think I’m guilty?”

“No,” he shook his head, opening the bathroom door. “Just want to know how you escaped.”

“Maybe I’ll make it more dramatic than it was.” She muttered, carefully stepping inside. “Have people been talking about us?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Not to my face, they’re too scared. But, I’m sure you’ll find out what they all have to say.”

“That I will.” She scoffed. Theta liked hearing what people had to say about her. Not because she let it shape who she was, just because she was interested to see how people that weren’t her or Koschei, saw her. 

“Oh well. We kept it a secret for long enough.” He shrugged. 

Theta nodded, standing up wobbly. 

“That, we did.” 


	37. Thirty-seven

Theta didn’t go down to dinner that evening. She let Koschei go down to get something for her, and sat on her bed. 

She felt a lot better after a shower: her head felt fresh and her hair wasn’t caked in blood. She was finally letting the relief flood through her body, and Theta let herself smile slightly. 

Her eyes scanned mindlessly across the room, before she stopped. 

Theta chewed on her lip for a moment, before standing, and slowly making her way over to the shelf. Hesitating, she reached out, and ran a finger over the weathered spine of her book on insects. 

“Hello, old friend.” She whispered, pulling the book gently from the shelf, and holding it in front of her. She ran her fingers down the cover of the large book, sighing gently. 

Theta had always loved insects. Adoring each and every animal her home planet had to offer, she liked to take the time to appreciate even the smallest of creatures. With often such fleeting life spans, and dull appearances, Theta had always thought it was important to give them recognition for the vital part in any ecosystem that they played. 

Theta had always loved the littlest of things. Never a fan of the bigger picture, she longed to look past that, see the cogs in the machine and the people behind what was created. 

“Maybe,” she whispered to herself. “Maybe it’s time to forgive.” 

Theta cradled the book in her arms, and after a thick swallow, opened it. 

The page it fell on, was that of the sand beetle. The same beetle that Koschei had almost crushed for Lareth, all those decades ago. 

It was a hot orange, blindingly bright and vibrant. It’s delicate legs and mesmerising shell almost enough to bring Theta to tears. 

Oh, how she’d missed this. 

It didn’t feel awful. It didn’t feel like she was betraying anyone, that she was ruining her childhood with tainted memories. It just felt good. That maybe, just maybe, she finally deserved this. 

Theta turned over the page gently, paper crinkling beneath her fingers. 

There was a blinding butterfly on the next page over. Shimmeringly blue, antenna two gentle swoops, and wings so fragile and thin, but so bold and important. 

Theta loved the colour blue. She knew it was a mourning colour, but she thought it was utterly gorgeous. It was the colour of versatility and magnitude. The colour of the most swooping of galaxies, and the smallest of creatures. 

She wanted to see more blue. 

Theta gently traced the shapes of the butterfly again, like she’d done when she was just a child, naive and full of wonder. 

Theta often asked herself if there was any room left in her hearts for more wonder. 

She hoped there was. 

Koschei opened the door, food in hand, and smiled. 

“Ah. Finally back to the books?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged gently, closing the book and putting it back on the shelf. “Just, feel like I haven’t seen a butterfly in ages.”

“Have you been looking?” He asked, placing the food down on her desk. “We’ve been pretty busy.”

“I’m not sure we should ever be too busy to look for butterflies.” She considered, wandering her way towards him. 

“Well, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” 

Theta smiled at him, stopping about a foot away. 

“Koschei?”

“That’s me.”

“It’s over.” She cracked into a grin. “It’s finally over.”

Koschei paused, before letting himself grin back. 

“Yep!” He jumped forward, wheeling her off of her feet and spinning her around. Theta laughed loudly, hands planted firmly on his shoulders. 

Koschei laughed, putting her down gently, and smiling.

Theta gazed at him for a long while, soft smile remaining on her face. 

“Thank you.” She said gently. “I know you put yourself on the line for me. All the time. And you were way more put together than I could’ve ever been.”

“Me?” He scoffed gently. “I did nothing. You’re the one that fought them off. You’re the one that got arrested. You stopped them.” 

“I would’ve gone to prison if it wasn’t for you.” She ran a hand down his shoulder. 

“I could say the same for you.” He shrugged. Theta laughed quietly, glancing down and then back up at him. Koschei watched her fondly for a moment, before meeting her half way. 

She kissed him gently, full of gratitude and affection and admiration. Because Theta did admire him. She thought Koschei was perfect. Untouchable. So smart, so put together, so observant. So kind, and caring and understanding. Always listening, always noticing, always working. He was her rock and everything she could’ve ever wanted. Theta was sure he didn’t have a flaw. 

The kisses grew deeper, and Theta let them. She wanted to be a part of him, she wanted him to let her in. Theta wanted him to know how she loved him, how she admired him, and how grateful she was. 

“You don’t have to want this.” He said quietly, but Theta shook her head firmly. 

“I do.” She reassured. “If you do.”

“Never wanted anything more, my love.”

And Theta believed him. 

She closed her eyes and lost herself in Koschei, his warmth and his calloused skin, and his sharp edges. 

And then she felt something new. Theta focused, almost watching as her presence delved into his, wrapping and twisting and intertwining so perfectly, it was like it had been written in the fabric of time. 

It felt like a star, burning into existence, and another fading out, caving into a black depth of nothingness. It felt like a death of an elder, only to be replaced by the vulnerable crying of a baby, who knew nothing of the world. It felt like the very universe clicking into place, creation itself and the eventual end of it all. It felt like the mother of the Time Lords, looking into the eyes of the father of their deaths. It felt like a butterfly burning out from its cocoon, and it’s heart beat life span sparking into nothing again. 

Theta wanted to try and stop her brain, to slow down and figure out how this was happening, but her mouth wouldn’t form sentences, and she decided, after fleeting deliberation, that she didn’t care. 

It could wait. 

Everything could wait, because at the moment, all that mattered was Koschei. 

He was everything, he was all she could feel, all she could see and hear and smell and taste. He was the universe and Theta was a part of him, curling her way and intertwining between atoms and entire galaxies. 

This was all that mattered. 

Them. 

-

Theta breathed out slowly, eyes fluttering shut for a moment, before they opened again. 

She yawned, and Koschei smiled. 

“Long day?”

“Ha ha.” Theta smiled at his chest, rolling her eyes fondly as he squeezed her shoulder, from where he had his arms wrapped around her. “Kos’, do you know how we..y’know? Connected?”

“No,” he admitted, glancing down at her. “But I’m far too tired to figure it out right now. Let’s just..be us, for now. Without any situations or circumstances.”

“I like that idea.” She murmured a smile, joining his moles with a gentle finger. “Your moles look like constellations.”

“You could say that about anyone’s moles.” He pointed out above her, and Theta shook her head, on his bare chest. 

“No, only yours. It’s just something about them.”

“Well, thank you.” He scoffed gently. Theta tore her gaze away from his moles to look at him, head raising from his chest. 

She gazed at him, watching all that ever was, and ever could be, swirling like galaxies. 

And then, Theta leant forward, cupping her hand to his ear, without thinking for a moment about it. 

And she whispered her name. As sweet as a melody and as rough as nursery rhyme, she told him all that she ever was, and all that she could her be. 

Koschei stared at her for a long while, smiling gently. 

“I like it.”

“I don’t.” She admitted. 

“Theta suits you better.” He smiled, before leaning towards her own ear. 

And Koschei whispered his back. His person, in all of its unadulterated rawness, everything he’d done, and his escape from a cocoon, his heart beat life span. He told her who he was and why he’d given himself to her, and Theta was sure she’d never been more in love with him. 

“It suits you.” She shrugged. 

“Does it? Does it really?” He laughed skeptically, and Theta scoffed, settling back against his chest. 

“I think so. But I’m not going to change who you are now. My Koschei.” She murmured. 

“Your Koschei.” He repeated, moving to let her hair run through his fingers. “My Theta.”

“Are we friends now?” She laughed quietly. Koschei chuckled, shrugging lightly. 

“I think we can definitely say we’re friends. We’ll have to be if we want to see anything together.” 

Theta looked up at him. 

“Show me the universe.” She whispered. 

“Look in a mirror, my love.” He grinned, Theta smiling and smacking his chest lightly. 

“Sap.”

“Thought you would’ve got used to it by now.”

“Not sure I ever will. Unfortunately.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support with this! Comments keep me motivated! Might not be a chapter tonight, I get back late from a trip <3333


	38. Thirty-eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters so late, I’ve had some family things going on! <333

Theta answered questions tiredly at breakfast the next day. She explained how she got out, leaving out the weird parts about the Cardinal seeming to know her, and playing it off as him just being really nice. She told them that she hadn’t done anything; that the two policemen were looking for some random person to arrest. The lies slipped off of her tongue with ease. 

Lying wasn’t hard anymore. 

She went about her classes as usual, had lunch and dinner, before retiring to the roof at dusk, hand in hand with Koschei. 

Things felt a little different. It had shifted, just slightly. What they’d done the night before, and what they’d told one another, drew them closer. 

Not to mention the mental connection they’d shared. 

It had felt like ecstasy. Theta was sure she’d never feel anything as wonderful as the feeling of their minds being wrapped up in one another. She longed to figure out how they’d done it, and how they could do it again.

“You swear you didn’t do it on purpose?” She frowned. Koschei shook his head. 

“No. I wasn’t even thinking about anything of the sort, I was just focused on you.”

“And I was focused on you.” She frowned. 

“It just doesn’t make sense. Sure, you might have even able to do it, but not me. I’ve not even worked out my presence yet, or how to sense things like you have.”

“But you have, before.” She pointed out. “You’ve been able to smell emotions, like me. We did think you were a little ahead of everyone else too, right?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, “but nothing like what you could do. I shouldn’t have been able to connect with you like that. And it should’ve hurt like a bitch- for both of us.”

“Do you think we should do it again?” Theta asked. “It might be dangerous, we don’t know what we’re doing.”

“We were fine when we did it last night.” He pointed out. 

“Yeah, but we were..y’know, preoccupied.” Theta babbled slightly. “And, we did it on accident. If we try and do it on purpose, and focus all of our energy into doing it, we could get hurt.” She pointed out. Koschei sighed in thought.

“But, on the other hand, we’ve found this amazing thing to do together, and if we don’t figure out how to do it, we’ll be stuck, waiting for like thirty more years for everyone to catch up.”

Theta frowned deeply, considering the argument. It was quite strong. 

“So what are you suggesting?” She asked. Koschei shrugged. 

“I think we should just try and do it again. See what happens.”

Theta wasn’t convinced, by all accounts. 

“It’s dangerous.”

“Since when did you shy away from danger?” He raised an eyebrow, and Theta rolled her eyes exasperatedly. 

“Since it meant putting you in the firing line.” She sighed deeply, glancing away and then back at him. “Ok, what about this? What if you work on finding your presence first, and maybe sensing those around you, and then we try again?”

“But that could take years, like Mr Lenkatha said.”

“Well yeah, but clearly you’re ahead of everyone else, if we can form a connection, so it shouldn’t do.” Theta shot back dryly. 

Koschei groaned. 

“Fine.”

“Let’s try now.” Theta turned back to look at him, watching as he closed his eyes begrudgingly. “What can you feel?”

“Not much,” he murmured, clearly focusing, “the floor underneath me. The wind. I can kinda feel your warmth.”

“Move up.” She advised helpfully. “Look deeper than what’s physically around you.”

“There’s nothing around me,” he grumbled after a pause. “All I can feel is my own thought process.”

“How are you feeling?” She asked. 

“Frustrated.” Koschei murmured. “Stupid.”

“How do you mean stupid? How does stupid feel? Where is it coming from?” 

“I- I don’t know,” he frowned. “It’s..in my head.”

“What colour is it?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“Don’t answer my questions with questions. When I say the word ‘stupid’, what’s the first colour that pops into your head?”

“..pink.” He blurted. 

“Ok,” she smiled, even though he couldn’t see it, “is it sharp? Or squishy?”

“What the hell are you on about?” He groaned. Theta huffed. 

“Just answer the question!” She whined. Theta was sure Koschei would’ve rolled his eyes, if they were open. 

“..sharp. Well..the middle’s squishy but the edges are sharp.”

“Ok! Thats good!” She grinned. “So, picture what you’ve just described to me, and look for it in your head.”

“How do I do that?”

“Look around your head. If it helps..imagine a mini you, like, in your brain. And let the mini you take a walk around your head. Look for feeling stupid.” 

Koschei had a deep frown set between his brows, as he focused, silent for a long moment. 

“I think I’ve found it.” He muttered. “But that could also be because I’m looking for it, so I made it and now it’s there.”

“Ssh.” She waved her arms around to stop him rambling, and he still got the message, even though his eyes were closed. “What’s next to it?”

..spiky. Orange.” He mumbled. 

“Any ideas?”

“...frustration?”

“Bingo!” She grinned. Theta was really proud of him, she thought he was doing really well. “Ok, what’s next to the frustration?”

He was quiet for a moment, frown deepening. 

“Like..I don’t know it’s kind of..dark red, it’s sharp.”

“Like, a maroon?” 

“Yeah, if you want.” He nodded. Theta cocked her head to the side. 

“Have you any idea what that might be?”

“Well..” Koschei seemed to fumble around a bit, looking for what it might be. “It’s not an emotion.”

“No.” She confirmed.

“It’s bigger than the other two.”

“Yeah?”

“Is it..” he paused. “I think it’s me.” Theta smiled widely. “No, that’s definitely me.”

“You’re doing really well, Kos’.” She offered happily. 

“But, I don’t understand. How am I..in my head? Shouldn’t all of my head be me?”

“Well, it is,” Theta nodded. “But there’s a lot more going on in your head than just your inner voice. I think of it as kind of like the physical manifestation of who you are. The one that can interact with other presences and stuff, y’know?”

“I guess I can see that.” He considered. “So, that’s it? I’ve found my presence?”

“Mhm.” She nodded. 

“That was easy.” Koschei scoffed. 

“Can you see anything else?” Theta asked. He frowned even deeper, almost scrunching up his face. She watched him carefully, waiting patiently for him to find what she knew was there. 

“Something else. It’s like..fuzzy, a little. It’s golden. It’s not an emotion.”

“Ok.”

It’s...familiar. It’s like..oh! It’s you!” He grinned. 

“Yeah!” She smiled back. 

“Wow, yours is so pretty.” Theta scoffed, flicking some hair behind her shoulder. 

“Well, naturally.” She laughed. Koschei didn’t reply, and Theta frowned, before she felt a jab in her head. “Ow!”

“Sorry.” He immediately drew back from where he had prodded. 

“What did you do?”

“Poked it.”

“Why would you poke it?” She quipped in annoyance. 

“I dunno,” he shrugged. “You felt that?”

“Yes.” She huffed. 

“What did it feel like?” 

“Like you’d prodded my brain.” She focused, immediately sensing Koschei’s presence hesitantly waiting at the borders of her mind. Theta considered it for a moment, before deciding to lower them. He practically toppled over into her mind, and Theta snorted. 

It felt strange. Not bad strange, because it was Koschei. But still a strange. It didn’t feel like how it had when Mr Kethar had gone in- that had felt slimy and uncomfortable, because she hadn’t wanted him in there. But she was letting Koschei in, she felt in control of the situation and she trusted him. He fluttered nervously on the edge, like a skittish butterfly, clearly not wanting to take a wrong step. 

“Am I in your head?” He asked. Theta closed her eyes. 

“Yeah. I let you in.”

“It feels a little weird.” Koschei admitted. 

“Yeah. It does. But it’s ok, right? I don’t feel too bad.”

“No, neither,” he confirmed. “But..how do we go from here to, like, communicating?” 

“I’m not sure.” Theta gently eased him out of her head, and they both opened their eyes, feeling the connection sever. “Trial and error?”

“Seems dangerous.” He pointed out. Theta shrugged. 

“Probably.” 


	39. Thirty-nine

“For this project, you’ll need to be in pairs.” That was the first thing Ms Orpanto had said all biology lesson that had perked Theta’s interest. She glanced across at Koschei, who was already nodding at her from across the room. “Which I will be choosing.”

The entire class groaned, Theta rolling her eyes at him. 

“Lareth, you will be with Sanfej.” She drawled on, and Theta sighed, continuing her very accurate diagram of a blue cross beetle. Theta tuned back in, only to hear her name, and Koschei’s. 

“Koschei, you’ll be with Pewthru.” Theta sighed deeply, already feeling the disappointment radiating off of her best friend. “And Kathla, you’ll be with Theta.”

Theta glanced across at Kathla, who offered her a polite smile back. She’d never really gotten the chance to know the girl. All Theta knew, was that she was best friends with Lareth (and didn’t have a crush on her anymore), and always had her thick brown hair, scraped back into a ponytail. 

The blond picked up her stuff and shuffled over, sitting down next to Kathla, who smiled a little. 

“How’s it going, Theta?”

“Oh, y’know,” Theta shrugged, “ok. You?”

“I’m alright.” She smiled. “So, what about this project then? What part would you like to do?”

“Oh..I don’t mind. I’ll do like..either half.” Theta shrugged, glancing back down at her drawing, that she would really rather be doing. Kathla raised her eyebrows supposedly.

“Half?” She blurted, seemingly before she could stop herself. “Sorry, no, that sounded rude. Half is good!”

“I know I don’t have a great reputation when it comes to work, but it’s a pair project. I wouldn’t leave you to do it all. That would be a dick move.” She shrugged. Kathla laughed, flicking her wrist, and the page of the textbook turning over. 

“Have you always sworn as much as you do, Theta?” She asked. The blond shrugged again, adding shading to one of the beetles legs. 

“Yeah, I think so. I just don’t get why we focus so much on being prim and proper.”

Kathla seemed to consider her point for a moment, before humming, scribbling something down.

“I’m not sure.” She admitted. “Maybe because we’re supposed to be really civilised?”

“I don’t think we looked civilised. I think we look stupid. I mean..what’s with all the..?” She waved her arms around her head and neck, imitating the overdramatic regalia the Time Lords tended to wear. Kathla cracked another laugh. 

“I’m not sure about that either.” She acknowledged. “You do have quite a peculiar way of looking at things, Theta. I like it.”

“Thanks,” the young woman shrugged, “maybe I should write a book.”

“I’d read it.” Kathla smiled, before turning back to the book and beginning to explain what parts she’d do, and the parts she’d leave for Theta. 

Theta was paying attention to begin with, before she got an incredibly strong waft of something green, and sour. 

She followed the smell with her eyes, eventually landing on Koschei. He was sat across the room, clearly not listening to anything Pewthru was saying, and scowling. 

Theta frowned, cocking her head to the side in a silent question. He didn’t reply, only deciding to glare in their general directions for a few seconds more, before turning back to Pewthru. 

“What’s his deal?” Kathla asked, and Theta shook herself from her trance, turning back her and shrugging. 

“Might just be in a bad mood.” 

“So, are you two..like, a thing now?” She asked. “Just cuz, we’ve all been kinda wondering since you, Y’know, kissed, when you got back from the citadel?”

“Yeah.” Theta shrugged. The jig was up now. 

“How long?”

“A while. Not really sure exactly.” She admitted. 

Kathla shrugged it off, and the two of them continued dividing the project up until the bell went. 

As soon as it did, Theta began to pack up the little stationary she had, and almost didn’t finish, because as soon as he was over her side of the room, Koschei took her hand and pulled her out. 

“What’s gotten into you?” She frowned, stumbling slightly to catch up with him. 

“Nothing.” He grumbled, turning a corner up the corridor. Theta narrowed her eyes at him. 

“You know our next class is up that way, right?” Koschei didn’t reply, pulling open one of the communal bathrooms and stepping inside, tugging Theta in after him. 

She frowned, letting go of his hand as he locked the door behind them. If she was honest, she was a little concerned for Koschei. He was acting strange. 

“Kos’, what’s the matter?” She asked again, and Koschei planted his palms on the door, sucking in a deep breath and attempting to calm down. 

Theta’s frowned deepened. 

“I just- just needed a minute. With you. Here.”

“Why?” She pushed. He didn’t reply. Theta narrowed her eyes, burying her way deep into her mind to try and figure it out. 

Green. Sour. Smelt bad. Like..

“You were jealous.” She accused. Koschei turned to her, frowning deeply, with what was almost a glare. 

“No.”

“Yes.” 

“No.” He moved, and so did Theta, beginning to circle each other. 

“Yes, you were. Why?”

“I wasn’t.” Koschei muttered. 

“Yes you were, I could smell it. Why? It’s just Kathla.”

“I wasn’t jealous.” He gritted. 

“She’s my partner, Kos’, I don’t know what you want me to do about it.” She huffed. 

“You were laughing.” He pointed out. Theta stopped for a moment, completely dumbfounded. 

“I’m allowed to have fun with other people. I’m allowed to have other friends. You didn’t see me getting all jealous when you were with Lareth.”

“That was different.” Koschei huffed angrily. 

“Yeah, actually it was. Because you were in a relationship, and I still didn’t get jealous. You’re not going to be my only friend forever, Koschei.” He winced, and Theta crossed her arms over her chest. “You need to accept that.”

“But we don’t need anyone else, Theta.” His voice softened and he stepped towards her, “it’s always been just you and me. It’s been better that way.”

“We live long lives, Kos’.” She sighed deeply. “It’s not a bad thing for us to have more than each other.”

“No one could ever understand what we’ve been through together.” He muttered, taking her hand. Theta frowned deeply, but didn’t pull away. “I don’t want anyone else. Just you. My Theta.” He said gently. She squeezed his hand, and let go. 

“Koschei, I don’t belong to you. It’s not healthy to think this way.” She explained softly. Koschei winced again, clearly hurt by her words. So Theta softened them, with a kiss to his cheek, before she unlocked the door and opened it. “The sooner your realise that, the better we’ll be.”

-

Theta didn’t see Koschei for the rest of the day. She was a little worried about him, more so when he didn’t turn up at dinner, but if she knew anything about him, it was that he probably just wanted to be alone. 

This theory was soon proved right, when she was sat on her bed, doing the little homework she could be bothered to do, when Koschei slipped into her room. 

She didn’t glance up at him, as he wordlessly closed the door behind him, sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her middle, head coming to rest on her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. Theta let go of her workbook, using her now free hand to card gently through his hair. 

“It’s ok.” She said softly. 

“I love you.” He reminded her quietly. Theta smiled a little. 

“I love you too. And that’s enough. We don’t need to belong to one another.”

Koschei paused. 

“..no. Ok.” 

She leant down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, before continuing the little bit left of the homework she had to do. 

Koschei didn’t let go. 


	40. Forty

“Theta?” She glanced up from where she was reading, upside down on the floor. 

“Yeah?”

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” Koschei watched her carefully, and Theta frowned, lowering her book. 

“Yeah. So would I. Why?” She asked. 

“Because I mean it. I want you to know how I feel about you.”

“I do, Kos’.” Theta frowned a little in confusion, sitting up as Koschei got up from the desk, kneeling in front of her and taking her cheeks in his hands. “Is everything ok?”

“I mean it. I’d do anything.” He ignored her, gaze sweeping over her face, following his thumb as he ran it over her cheekbone. “I’d murder for you.”

“I would never ask you to do that.” She whispered, putting her hands over his wrists. She wasn’t sure why he was acting so strange. “It’s not worth the heartache.”

“I wouldn’t care.” He frowned, sighing gently into her eyes with such fondness. “If it was for you, I wouldn’t care. I’d raze entire planets to the ground for you.”

“You’re never going to be in the situation where you have to do that for me. And even if we were, I’d stop you.” She said quietly. “I wouldn’t ever want you to go through the guilt. It’s crushing.”

“I’d create a new world, just for us.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “From the rubble. I’d build it all back up, for you.”

“Koschei..” Theta wasn’t sure what to say. She knew he was trying to be sweet, but what he was describing was more than unsettling. Still, she tried not to think too much into it. 

“Imagine it, Theta.” He whispered. “If the whole universe was ours. We wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Not keeping up appearances, not the noise in my head, or your telepathy. We could just do whatever we wanted, and no one could say anything.”

“The universe isn’t for anyone to take, though, Kos’.” She pointed out with a small smile. “Maybe we should stick with the smaller acts of rebellion.”

“Did you have anything in mind?” He asked. 

“Of course. It’s me.” Theta grinned. Koschei grinned back, before leaning forward and pressing a sound kiss to her lips. 

-

“Trust me.” Theta beamed, Koschei glancing around as she crouched down. 

“Where did you even learn to do this?” He asked. 

“Where does anyone learn to do anything? I read.” She shrugged, unplugging one of the chambers in the drive of the engine of the tram. 

“And what are you doing exactly?” He asked. 

“I am hotwiring a warp drive. Well- more..the opposite of hotwiring it. I’m making sure it won’t go anywhere any more.” Theta grinned wickedly. She wasn’t sure why this act of vandalism had struck her as a good idea, but Theta had always loved the thrill of risk, and was very curious to find out how long it would take them to figure out what was wrong with the tram. 

“Vandal.” He scoffed, watching their surroundings carefully. The two of them had both skipped telepathy, thoroughly bored of sitting with their eyes closed for an hour whilst those around them strained. 

As the years went on, Theta seemed to rub off on Koschei more and more. He became more evenly matched to her chaos making, was mostly always down to skip a class, and was more than happy to be her look-out whilst she did something stupid- like hotwired a tram. 

As they grew, also, Koschei’s opinions began to warp into something new. Theta had always been fairly aware of his views on anarchy, how the universe stood. But as he got older, it became increasingly obvious that all he really wanted, was to give Theta the world. Or what was left of it, because he seemed very ready to burn it to the ground for her as well. 

Theta didn’t let it bother her. She supposed she would’ve been worried about it, if she didn’t think Koschei would grow out of it. Whilst maybe slightly more immature, Theta had always been more in check with her emotions than Koschei. She thought he was just trying to figure himself out, that soon he’d realise that it wasn’t really as ‘them against the universe’ as he thought it was. 

All Koschei wanted was for her to be his, and for him to be hers. Theta could understand that- even wanted it as well, but she wouldn’t let it be all consuming. 

That wouldn’t be healthy for anyone. 

“Hold this.” She held out a chamber, and Koschei took it, turning it over in his hands. 

“Is this complicated?” He asked. Theta shrugged.

“Depends on who you ask. For me? Nope. For you? Maybe.” She teased. 

“Watch it.” Koschei feigned annoyance, as Theta smiled, plucking back the chamber from his hands, and plugging it in. 

“There!” She grinned, setting the plate back into place. “That tram is not going anywhere.” Theta beamed at her work, Koschei wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss to her temple. 

“Your chaos is beautiful, my love.”

“You hate chaos.” She pointed out, frowning at him. Koschei shrugged. 

“Not anymore. How can I, when I’m with you? You’re the embodiment of chaos.”

“Why thank you.” Theta grinned. 

“I’ve learnt to love it.” He continued, turning back to the tram. “Can’t have a world without it.” 

“This is true.” She nodded, jumping from his arm and hopping up onto the wall of the tram station, holding her arms out as she put one foot in front of the other. Theta wobbled, raising one foot and testing her weight. “But you need a balance.” She grinned. “Equilibrium, that’s what I call it.”

“Am I the balance?” He asked, jumping onto the wall behind her and following Theta as she wobbled her way towards the end of the wall and back towards the direction of the Academy. 

“Yeah!” Theta nodded, glancing around the deserted tram station. They didn’t have another lessonless for a long while, so the trams mostly weren’t in use. 

If they were, it was for visitors from the Citadel, or professors that had decided not to live at the Academy, and got the two hour commute to and from each day. 

Still, after Theta’s antics, everyone would be comfortably late, by around ten minutes, if her maths was anything to go by. Which it usually was. 

“You balance me out!” She grinned, arms wobbling slightly. 

“You balance me out.” He added. “In different ways, obviously.”

“What a pair we make.” Theta jumped from the end of the wall, Koschei jumping after her without hesitation. “You know, Kos’,” she wrapped a hand around his. “We could do wonderful things together.”

“Don’t you know it,” he grinned, kissing her hand. “We could rule the world.”

“You think so?” She laughed. 

“Oh yeah. We’re smart enough, powerful enough.” He swung their hands together, and Theta hummed in consideration as they began to wander back towards campus. 

“I’m not sure if I want to rule the world.” She frowned. “I quite like just living in it.”

“Maybe you’re not looking at the bigger picture.” Koschei pointed out, and she laughed. 

“Sure. Something like that.”

-

They got away with hotwiring the warp drive. They didn’t get away with skipping class. 

Still, Theta didn’t mind afterhour-less. It gave her time to perfect her diagrams of insects that she might not have otherwise had. 

Koschei seemed to struggle a little more. Theta could only imagine that the silence made the drums even more deafening, and she longed to take his hand from where she was sat across the room, watching him as he tapped the rhythm onto the desk in front of him. 

Theta put her pencil down, closing her eyes and focusing on sending him as much reassurance as she possibly could. 

The feeling swelled, and she let it float across the room. 

It’s ok it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok 

“It’s ok.” 

Theta heard her voice, as clear as day, but she knew she hadn’t moved her lips. She jumped slightly, opening her eyes and turning to look at Koschei, who was staring at her, looking as shocked as she felt. 

‘How did you do that?’ He mouthed at her, and Theta shrugged helplessly. Koschei frowned deeply, before turning back to his work when the professor snapped at them about not communicating. 

Theta looked back down at her drawing, confused beyond belief, and with a slight headache. 


	41. Forty-one

“Do you really want to go?” Koschei raised an eyebrow, and Theta shrugged. 

“Why not?” She grinned. “Come on, it’ll be fun. It’s not run by the Academy.”

“Which means it’ll probably get broken up, and we’ll all get in trouble.” He pointed out dryly. Theta smiled, putting her hands on his shoulders. 

“That’s the fun part.”

“You’re such a risk junkie.” He rolled his eyes. 

“It’s just one party. It’ll be fine.” She shrugged. 

“I’m not carrying you home, drunk.” Koschei prefaced, and Theta waved him off. 

“You won’t have too. I’m not gonna drink.”

“What? At all?” He frowned. 

“No. How am I supposed to escape properly if I’m drunk?”

“You could scale a wall, shitfaced.” Koschei considered. 

“Is that a suggestion?” She laughed. 

“More like a worst case scenario.”

“Oh. Same thing then.” Theta grinned wickedly, turning away from him. Koschei sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“Does everything I say go in one ear and out the other with you?”

“Sorry, what?” She smiled, and Koschei scoffed, smacking her upside the head. 

-

Theta hung around the edge of the makeshift mosh pit. Someone had somehow gotten Koschei up onto the stage, where he was doing his best rendition of a very high Gallifreyan song. 

Theta was whooping and cheering from her place at the side of the room, when there was a tap on her shoulder. 

She turned, smiling at Sanfej, who ducked close to her ear to talk to her over the unholy screeching. 

“Want some?” He held out his palm, producing two blunts. Theta raised an eyebrow at him. She was surprised, to some extent. 

“Sanfej, you sneaky bastard.” She scoffed. “Where did you get your hands on shit like this?”

“Doesn’t matter.” He shrugged. “Got into it when Torvic went missing.” A wave of guilt washed over Theta, and she frowned a little. 

“I’m sorry.” She said softly. 

“Not your fault,” he shrugged. 

“Why are you offering?”

“Just, sometimes it seems like you need it.” Sanfej explained. “I know you act all happy and carefree, but I can see the tension in your shoulders.” 

Theta consciously relaxed, meeting his eye and immediately glancing away. 

“I’m alright, San’.” She shrugged off. “I’ll keep the offer in mind, if it’s unconditional.” 

“If I’ve got some, you’re top of my list.” He nodded, nudging her shoulder before turning away. 

Theta stared after him for a moment, before glancing back to the stage. Someone else was signing now, Koschei picking his way across to her. 

He frowned when he got close enough, moving closer to talk to her as well. 

“What did Sanfej want?”

“I’ll tell you some other time.” She said softly, taking his hand and pulling him into the group before he could ask questions or protest. 

Theta grinned, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck and swaying with the music. 

“I don’t like dancing.” Koschei called loudly over the sound.

“I can’t hear you!” She grinned, her friend rolling his eyes. She spun him around, laughing loudly, as Koschei reluctantly spun under her arm. 

Theta pulled herself closer again, wrapping her arms tighter around him, and jumping up and down with the music. Koschei let himself smile, pulling her closer and following her erratic movement the best he could. 

The two of them bounced around the room, interweaving with other people and sweating joyfully. 

Theta was sure she’d never felt this carefree and happy at the Academy. With Koschei, alone, maybe, but never surrounded by others. 

He took her hand, and Koschei lead her around with a laugh, the two of them tipping up and down with the music. 

Theta let go of him, only to find herself back to back with Lareth. She turned, the other girl grinning. She wasn’t exactly how anyone had convinced Lareth of all people to come to a party, but the other girl looked like she was having the time of her life. 

Theta grabbed ahold of her, Lareth laughing loudly as the two of them began bounding and hopping around the room. She let go, only to spin the other girl around. 

At the end of the day, Theta did like Lareth. They weren’t the same- weren’t even close, but they had both been there for one another when they needed it. So maybe she wasn’t all that bad. 

She wasn’t a good dancer though. 

As Theta found out two minutes later, cackling with laughter as the two of them twirled and let go of one another. 

Theta stumbled back into Koschei, turning to face him with an ear splitting grin. 

He smiled at her back, a larger smile than she’d seen, maybe ever. And then he kissed her, like she was the only one in the room. 

It was hardly a kiss, they were both smiling too much. It was clumsy, and the two of them kept being bumped and jostled by those around them, but it didn’t matter. 

Theta cupped at the back of his neck, laughing when she was pushed and their teeth clattered together. 

She pulled back, grinning at him. Theta was sure she’d never been this happy, this content with life. She was sure she never would be again. 

Koschei grabbed her hand, spinning her around. So she spun, letting go of him to lose herself in the music, Koschei laughing at her god-awful dance moves. 

Theta scoffed, more than content to just keep making him laugh, and so she kept dancing. 

She was sweating, probably smelt bad, and really needed a drink, but none of it mattered. 

Koschei was happy, and that was what counted. 

Jumping up and down, Theta took his hands, forcing him to join her. Her hair bounced, her clothes stuck to her sweaty skin, and Theta felt a little sick with the alcohol she’d had on an empty stomach. 

But Koschei was dancing with her. That was what counted. 

She was sure she couldn’t love anything as much as she loved him. 

He was everything to her. Every thought, every sense. Her past, her present, her future. All she was and all she’d ever be were in his eyes. He held her entire happiness in the palm of his hand, and she trusted him with it. He could throw it and kick it around and put it in a blender, threaten to turn it on, and she’d never try to take it back. It was his to keep as far as she was concerned, and she trusted him with it. 

He was all she’d ever wanted. So smart, so sharp, so confident, and so understanding. So funny, and so kind, and so ready to take the risks she needed to take with her. 

She was sure that he’d never leave her. They’d be together forever, she couldn’t live without him. 

“I wish I could explain to you how much I love you.” She said, with a smile, into his ear. 

“Sap.” He grinned. Theta laughed.

“Delathorpo!” A voice echoed through the room. “Four o’clock! Move! Move!”

Oh. Now this was the fun part. 

Theta took a second to beam at Koschei, before grabbing his hand, bolting in the opposite direction to everyone else. 

The back door. Amateurs. 

Theta pulled Koschei into the back room of the dorm common room they were in, and he crouched slightly, intertwining his fingers and holding them down. 

Theta stepped onto his hands, jumping and latching onto the skylight at the ceiling. 

“Got it?” He asked. 

“Almost.” She muttered, pulling at the latch once, releasing the lock. 

“Twenty seconds.”

“Countdown. I like it.” She grabbed a pin from her hair, that she’d brought specifically for this purpose, straightening it with her teeth and jamming it in the lock. She jostled it until it clicked, and she threw the skylight open. 

“Fifteen.”

Theta put the weight onto her elbows, hoisting herself up onto the roof. 

“Ten.”

She held a hand out, and Koschei took it, Theta jamming her foot in the other side of the skylight, to give her leverage. 

“Five.” He muttered as Theta hoisted him up. “Three,” Theta let go of him, taking her makeshift lock pick from the lock, “two,” she replaced the latch, “one.” Theta let the skylight drop back into place, hanging back from the glass as a very angry Mr Delathorpo opened the door to the backroom. 

Theta grinned, grabbing Koschei’s hand and beginning to jump her way back across the roofs. Koschei followed her, hopping over gaps and skipping onto lips. 

“There is nothing more that you love than a little risk, is there?” He laughed. 

“Nope. It goes risk, then you.” She grinned, letting go of his hand to leap upwards, hands hooking on the lip of a higher section, and she hoisted herself up onto it. 

Koschei followed, scoffing. 

“What was Sanfej saying to you?” 

“He offered me a blunt.” Theta said, adrenalin filtering out as they began to saunter back towards Koschei’s roof. “Said he could tell I was tense.”

“Why didn’t you take it?” He asked, and Theta shrugged. 

“Didn’t feel like it. Told him I might if the situation arose. Still, if we can get through all we did without drugs, don’t see much of a reason to start now.”

“For fun?” He asked, stepping over the gap onto his roof. Theta, with her shorter legs, had to hop across, but made it, before dropping down and swinging her way back into his dorm room. 

Koschei followed, dropping slightly more elegantly onto the floor than Theta had, before turning and closing the window. 

“Well,” she grinned, “that had all the great makings of a fun time. Drugs, time pressure, and roof jumping.” She counted on her fingers, and Koschei rolled his eyes fondly. 

“The holy trinity.”

Theta turned, grinning at him and hopping on her heels. 

“God, I’m buzzing!” 

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” He scoffed. “Not the perfect night yet though, is it?”

“I dunno, it’s pretty close- oh.” Theta glanced back at him from where she was turning on her foot. “Oh. Yes. I do like the way you think sometimes.”

“Thanks, I like the way I think too.” He shrugged. “Give you an outlet for all that extra energy.”

“Extra?” She laughed. “No, this is just me. Take it or leave it.”

“I might take it if you’d stay still for long enough.” Koschei rolled his eyes, stepping towards her. 

Theta, never the one to shy away from being the one to make the first move, crossed the rest of the space, pulling him close to kiss him deeply. 

Koschei was still smiling into her lips, energy buzzing off of the both of them and the presences that were quickly intertwining, in the nonexistent space between them. 


	42. Forty-two

Theta slept soundly that night. She didn’t have a bad dream, and she didn’t have good one. She just slept, content and warm in Koschei’s arms. 

When she awoke the next day, Koschei was smiling gently, joining up the moles on the bare skin of Theta’s shoulder. 

“You didn’t have a nightmare.” He pointed out softly, not glancing up to make sure she was awake. Theta blinked, considering it in her half asleep state, and then smiled. 

“No, I didn’t, did I?”

“Hangover?” Koschei glanced up. Theta shook her head. 

“No. I feel fine. A little achey, at most.”

“Where?” He frowned. 

“Arms. All that climbing. Don’t get cocky.” She scoffed, sitting up with a yawn. “We late to class?”

“Yup.” He nodded. “Almost lunch.”

“How long have you been awake?” She frowned, noting that they should probably pick up all the clothes they’d left strewn about the floor. 

“Not long. An hour, maybe?”

“You should’ve woken me up.” She flattened her hair with her fingers, before giving up when it didn’t fall right, and just shaking her head. “We could’ve caught the last half hour of History.”

“Yeah. Could’ve. Didn’t want too though.” Koschei muttered absently.

“When did you start liking skipping class?” She laughed, picking up the shirt closest to her, which wasn’t hers. Still, Theta didn’t care. “The afterhour-less’ never do anything good for yourhead.”

“No, well, we should probably talk about that.” He pointed out as Theta got out of bed, making her way towards Koschei’s wardrobe, and picking up some of the clothes she kept in there. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Kos’,” she shrugged, heading for the bathroom. “I don’t know how I spoke to you, and I don’t know how to do it again.”

“Maybe we should be trying, though.” He considered. 

“We could. Or we could wait and see if it happens again, since that seems to be how the rest of my telepathy’s worked out.”

“But that’s boring.” He grumbled. 

Theta scoffed, turning the shower on. She left the door open, in case he wanted to continue the conversation, but he didn’t say anything else. 

Theta showered quickly, before letting Koschei take his turn. 

She waited, wondering what trouble they could get in with the rest of the day. Theta wanted to find out what the punishment for anyone caught in the dorms the night before was. 

Koschei soon finished his shower, and the two headed down to lunch. 

They sat down, laughing at their classmates. They were like zombies, even Lareth was in a pair of shades. 

“You lot get caught last night?” Theta asked, and Sanfej sighed. 

“Yup. We’re all in after hour-less for a week.” He muttered. “How did you two not get caught?”

“Well, we’re professional.” Theta shrugged, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Won’t make a difference. You’ll be in there with us since you skipped class this morning. They’ll probably just use it as an excuse to stick you in it for the rest of the week. They think you were there, they just can’t prove it.”

“That seems to be a habit when it comes to you.” Rethra scoffed. “What with Torvic.”

“Hilarious.” Koschei shot across the table. “Got any other knee-slappers?”

“Oh shut it, Koschei, just because you don’t know what laughing is.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t reckon I’ve ever seen you smile.”

“You might have if you’d ever said something funny.” He quipped. Theta and Sanfej shared a glance across the table. 

“I-“ she fumbled for a moment. “Shut up, Kos’.”

“Strong comeback.”

“Leave her alone, Koschei.” Theta rolled her eyes fondly, nudging his shoulder. 

-

They got two days after hour-less. However, since their entire class was in it too, they got to sit next to one another, what with the limited space. 

So Theta and Koschei kicked one another, scribbling a conversation onto a page of Koschei’s pristinely kept journal. 

‘Want to try and talk?’ He asked her. Theta frowned in consideration at the message for a moment. 

‘Sure. Wouldn’t hurt I guess.’

‘Got any idea how you did it?’

‘Not a clue.’ She ducked her head from her professors view, closing her eyes and focusing hard. 

The last time, she’d been trying to send an emotion, which had manifested into a short sentence. 

So Theta tried to send how bored she was across what she had started to feel was the bond between them. Like a line, with two buckets at the end. She’d put emotions in it, and push it across the gap to him. 

But this time, there were words in the bucket. 

I’m bored I’m bored I’m bored I’m bored I’m bored. 

Nothing. 

Theta frowned, Koschei leaning forward and scribbling down,

‘I can feel how bored you are.’

Theta huffed, and chose not to respond. 

I’m bored. I’m bored. I’m bored. 

Theta closed her eyes and furrowed her brow deeply. 

I’m bored. 

I’m bored. 

IM BORED. 

‘I’m bored.’ 

Theta’s eyes shot open, and she glanced at Koschei hopefully, who was staring at her with what looked close to bewilderment. 

He grinned, and she smiled back, before checking herself and glancing back down, for fear of being separated. 

‘You’re bored.’ Koschei wrote, followed by ‘ :) !!’ 

Theta drew a little smiley face back. 

-

“We’re really on the home stretch now,” Koschei shrugged, a certain spring in his step. “You just need to perfect that, and I need to learn how to do it, and there!”

“Do you think if I can learn to do it with you, I’ll be able to do it with anyone?” Theta asked, and Koschei, who was walking backwards in favour of looking at her, shrugged. 

“Yeah. I think so. Must be.”

“That’s probably how it works, right?” She asked. 

“I’m sure it is. Can’t work any other way.” He considered. 

“Well, should be easy then.” Theta shrugged. “Then we can say whatever we want. Whenever we want.”

“After hour-less won’t hold us.” He laughed, turning back around to look at where he was going. “Forty years ahead of everyone else. God we are good.”

“Brilliant, even.” She scoffed, taking his hand. “And y’know, there’s no one I’d rather be a genius with.”

Koschei smirked, spinning her around as they made their way back across the courtyard. 

“You and me against the world, my darling. Wether we like it or not, that’s the way it is. Just because of our intelligence.”

“Your intelligence.” She scoffed. “You’re the brains, I just carry out the calculations you do.”

“Maybe,” he scoffed. “But one of us needs to be good at arm wrestles, and you’ve got the muscles for it.”

“Do you think I’ve got arm muscles?” She gasped happily, feigning delight, and he laughed. 

“You do, have you looked in the mirror? They’re lean, but they’re there if you flex. You were always going to end up with them, what with the amount of climbing you do. Don’t know why you can’t just get around like a normal person.”

“Cuz then I wouldn’t have arm muscles.” She shrugged, pushing the door to the dorm building open. “Then who would you have to win your am wrestles for you?”

“Well, indeed.” He rolled his eyes. “I often find myself in impossible arm wrestles.”

“Do you reckon I’d beat you?” She asked, pushing open her dorm room with her foot. 

“In a battle of strength, probably. Of mind? No.” He put down his books on her desk, pulling off his robe and throwing it over her chair. 

Theta hummed in consideration, more interested with inspecting her new found arm muscles. 

“I will one day.” She murmured. “Outsmart you, I mean.”

“Oh,” he laughed, stepping towards her and pressing a kiss to her temple. “I would like to see you try, my love.” He took that as his cue to leave into the bathroom. 

Theta frowned after him. 

The game was on then. 

She never could say no to a challenge. 


	43. Forty-three

The two of them decided to go into the Citadel for the next lessonless. 

The Cloister Wars has not long since ended, and the Gallifreyan capital was still, slowly rebuilding itself. 

Still, it was deemed safe to travel into, and Theta really wanted a change of scenery, so they decided to go, and see if maybe there were any plans to rebuild the Library of Gallifrey. 

Theta and Koschei made sure to get a tram that they hadn’t hotwired, and watched the world go by. 

Koschei started tapping the beat of four onto his seat half way through the journey, and Theta took his hand, squeezing tightly in a beat of three. 

Koschei offered her a small, grateful smile. 

The two of them got off the tram and began into the city. 

Theta was surprised at how quickly they’d managed to rebuild- she wasn’t sure she would’ve ever known there was a war, if she hadn’t had gotten caught up in it. 

Most buildings were rebuilt, and if they weren’t, the rubble had disappeared, only leaving awkward spaces between houses and shops. 

The Library of Gallifrey was gone, and it looked as if nothing had ever even been there. 

Theta sighed, downcast and disappointed.

“Maybe they’ll rebuild it somewhere else.” Koschei shrugged. “Or another time.” 

“I hope so.” She considered sadly. He squeezed her hand. 

“You wanna get a drink?”

“I haven’t got any cash.” She pointed out. Koschei shrugged. 

“Don’t worry. What do you want?”

-

The two of them ended up in a bar, sipping on some cheap bottles of something purple, that didn’t taste all that good. 

Still, it left a buzz in Theta’s stomach, and that was more than she’d been feeling already. 

“It’ll be ok.” Koschei reassured, frowning at her expression. She cleared it, nodding. 

“No, I know. It’s just frustrating, that we might’ve got so close to fixing your head.”

“Yeah well,” he shrugged, eyes scanning the bar. “No point dwelling on things that didn’t happen.”

“I suppose.” Theta considered, taking a swig from her bottle. “What is this stuff?” She glanced down at it with a grimace. 

“I dunno. It was what Sanfej was drinking at the party the other month, and he looked like he was having a good time, so..”

“I’m not sure it was the alcohol that was making him look so happy.” She scoffed, before it dropped from her face. “I felt a little bad to be honest. He said he started doing it cuz of Torvic.”

“Well,” Koschei shrugged. “Maybe he shouldn’t have been best mates with someone who had so many people that wanted to kill him.” 

Theta smacked his upper arm, rolling her eyes. 

“Don’t say shit like that. Sanfej did nothing wrong.”

“No,” Koschei agreed, watching a man, who looked about their age, stumble around the room, slightly more than tipsy. “That guy’s giving me bad vibes.”

“What do you mean?” Theta frowned, glancing at him. 

“I dunno,” Koschei muttered, watching the man yell at a poor bartender, with something that was no where near appropriate. “That’ll be why.”

“Classy.” She rolled her eyes over the rim of her drink, before taking another swig. 

Koschei rolled his eyes. 

“It seems so difficult to find civilised people nowadays. Sometimes it feels like we’re the only people here that aren’t under-developed morons.”

“We act like under-developed morons sometimes.” She pointed out, watching as the man stumbled his way over to their table. “Can I help you, sir?”

“Yeah,” he slurred. “Either of you pretty faces buy me a drink?”

“No thank you, sir. We just have enough for the fare home.” Theta said calmly, watching Koschei purse his lips in annoyance. She was keen on stopping any conflict arising when there didn’t need to be. 

“Bitch.” The man grumbled, turning away to go and bother someone else. Theta sighed, figuring that would be the end of it. That was before Koschei stood up, spun him around, and threw a punch to his jaw. 

They got kicked out. 

-

“What was that for??” She demanded frustratedly, beginning the long stalk back to the tram station. 

“He called you a bitch.” Koschei shrugged. Theta scowled at him. 

“I’ve been called worse. That’s no reason to get into a fight.” She huffed. 

“I think it was.” He grumbled. Theta frowned disapprovingly. 

“I said this the last time you punched a guy, and I’ll say it again: violence won’t make you feel any better. It might stop the drumming for a moment, but it’s temporary, so what’s the point?” She lectured angrily. “You can’t just go around punching people for no good reason.”

“I thought I had good reason.” He argued. 

“Well I didn’t.” She snapped. 

“Oh, well that’s fine then. If you didn’t think I was justified, I must not have been, because what you say goes.” He said sarcastically, “you’re always right.”

“I didn’t say that.” Theta rolled her eyes. “You can’t just go punching people, and I’m not the only one who will tell you that.”

“Why not?” He asked. “Why can’t I just go around punching people?”

“Because,” she groaned. “Apart from being completely illegal, it’s morally, a bad thing to do.”

“Says who?”

“Society.”

“When did we ever follow society rules?” He asked. Theta resisted the urge to rub at her head. Koschei could be so tiring sometimes. 

“I might not agree with all the laws, but I’m pretty sure laws like ‘don’t punch people’ are put in there for a reason.”

“And what?” Koschei shrugged, clearly dedicated to prodding at her buttons. “Who is going to stop me if I do go around punching people?”

“The police.” She grumbled. 

“Got away with murder, think I can get away with punching some twats teeth out.”

“Or maybe,” she stopped, turning to him with a scowl. “You should try living your life, without punching anyone.”

“Why?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Because since when has violence ever done anyone any favours?” 

“When it got rid of childhood bullies.” He poked. Theta’s eyes hardened, and she turned away from him. 

“Violence is for cowards, Koschei. You’ve got such a brain on you, and it’s a far better weapon than any punch you could throw.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Don’t be a coward. You’re better than that.” She shot, before striding away back towards the tram station. 

-

Theta didn’t sit next to him on the tram, or opposite. She was furious, she couldn’t believe that Koschei could say those things about violence, like what had happened with Torvic and meant nothing- changed nothing. 

She couldn’t understand it. 

When she’d killed him, Theta’s entire world shifted on its axis. She’d made promises to herself, locked away parts of herself that she wasn’t proud of, and she’d changed the way she’d seen the world. 

And even then, it still haunted her. 

Theta was sure it had changed nothing for Koschei. He always said he didn’t remember his dreams, but Theta was sure that he’d never got a nightmare about what had happened. 

She didn’t know how to feel about that. 

On the one hand, Theta was glad that if hadn’t scarred him, and that he was still who he was, despite the trauma. On the other, she wanted him to see the world the way she did, after that event. She wanted him to understand that really, violence was disgusting, and there was little to no place for it in Theta’s world. 

Being the naturally stubborn people they both were, neither Theta, nor Koschei apologised for the rest of the day. They sat in their own rooms, alone for once, and pretended like the other didn’t exist.

Theta stayed awake for as long as she could, refusing to sleep in a room that Koschei wasn’t in, but in the end, fatigue took her over, and she fell asleep at her desk.

She awoke with a jolt late that night, tears unusually streaming down her face. 

Theta didn’t take the time to weigh up her options. 

She wrapped herself up in a large blanket, padding her way up the corridor and opening Koschei’s door quietly. 

He was awake, staring at the ceiling with his clothes from that day still on. When she walked in, still crying silently, he wordlessly opened his arms to her. 

Theta closed the door behind her, padding over and curling up in his arms. 

She took a few deep breaths, forcing her pounding hearts to calm down, and relaxed in the arms of the man she loved. 

Still, there was a niggling at the back of her mind, that maybe, Theta didn’t understand Koschei as well as she thought she did. 

He pressed a kiss to her hairline, yawning. 

Theta didn’t apologise, and expectantly, neither did Koschei. 

But maybe that was fine. Maybe that meant they knew where they stood. 

Theta closed her eyes with a sigh, feeling a thumb wiping at her cheeks once, before holding her tighter. 

She whispered his name, and told him that she loved him. It was purposeful, and Koschei knew that. 

He hummed. 

“I love you too, Theta.” 

She was no fool. 

That was on purpose. 

And maybe it hurt a little bit. 


	44. Forty-four

“I felt it!” Theta almost jumped when she heard Rethra squeal behind her, and everyone turned to look at the young woman. “I felt it! I felt my presence!” 

“How can you tell?” Pewthru demanded, clearly frustrated. Mr Lenkatha looked up, raising his eyebrows. 

“Are you sure, Rethra?”

“I think so.” She shrunk back a little bit. 

“Well, let’s test it. What does it look like, if you had to put it into a material form?”

“Uh-“ the whole class watched her screw her eyes shut in concentration for a moment. “Like...a dark purple. It’s..hard. Brittle. Sharp.”

“That’s right,” Mr Lekantha confirmed after a moment of thought. 

“How do you know, Sir?” Lareth asked. 

“Because, I can feel all of your presences. If I concentrate, I can visualise them. It’s something you’ll learn to do in time.” 

“Sir, I have a headache.” Rethra groaned, holding a hand to her head. Their professor nodded in understanding, pulling open a drawer at his desk and getting out a small pot of crushed up herbs. 

He stepped towards Rethra and put them in front of her. 

“Sniff those.”

“What are they?”

“They’ll get rid of the headache.” Was his only answer, before he turned to the rest of the class. “Well! It looks like we have our first presence finder. The rest of you need to catch up.” 

Theta glanced at Koschei, who rolled his eyes in response. She sniggered, feeling around in her own mind. 

They needed to catch up. 

Rethra was right, hers was a dark purple, and it was brittle. But Theta could tell that Mr Lekantha’s was a soft green, in both senses. Lareth’s was a deep forest green, with curved edges and smooth curves. Sanfej’s was a hot orange, with jagged edges but a good core. Pewthru’s was light blue, with soft edges, resembling clouds or something similar. Kathla’s was close to a hot pink, sharp but bouncing edges and a buzzing centre. 

Theta was incredibly bored of being so far ahead of everyone else. 

It got tiring being as good as she was. 

-

Two weeks later, Koschei decided to take his turn in announcing that he’d found his presence. 

The room watched, in awe as he stole the spotlight, announcing that his was indeed a sharp maroon. 

Mr Lekantha confirmed this, and offered Koschei the herbs. He insisted that he didn’t need them, and their professor rolled his eyes, clearly used to some students insisting that they were hard enough to go without. 

Still, Theta doubted that it was ever because the student was thirty years ahead of the rest of the class. 

-

Theta waited to be one of the last to ‘find her presence’, insisting that it was fairly in character for her. 

“I think I’ve found it.” She shrugged one day, and Mr Lekantha raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh?”

“Gold.” She didn’t miss how intently her professor was staring at her, like he was expecting something. “Kind of. It’s bright.”

“What are the edges like?” He asked. 

“I can’t find the edges.” Theta replied honestly. And it was true. She struggled to put walls up, when she couldn’t find where her presence ended and other parts began. She couldn’t tell wether the edges were sharp, or soft.

And after a moment of consideration, it seemed, neither could her professor. 

“Well,” he turned away from a frown, busying himself at his desk. “Keep working at it, Theta. I’m sure you’ll find them. Do you need the herbs?”

“No thank you, Sir.”

Mr Lekantha glanced up at her, frowning deeply into her soul for a moment. Theta frowned back. 

“Sir?”

“Can I have a word with you after class, Theta?”

She nodded, confused, and glanced at Koschei. Her friend was frowning at the two of them deeper than she was, cocking his head in confusion when she glanced at him. 

Theta shrugged. 

After class, Koschei told her he’d wait outside for her, and she nodded, watching Mr Lekantha collect his things for a moment, before he straightened. 

“Theta, will you be honest with me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Did you really only find your presence today? Or were you pretending, to fit in?” 

Theta stared at the back wall for a few seconds, weighing her options. What was the worst that could happen if she told him half of the truth? 

“No, sir. I’ve known it was there for a while now.” She admitted. 

“When did you find it?” Theta considered her words carefully. 

“Before Rethra.”

“Well,” he sighed deeply. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Not sure, sir.” She shrugged. “Didn’t know I was doing it right.”

“For someone so loud and opinionated, Theta, I think you care more about what those around you think of you, than you let on.” 

“No, sir. Only a select few.” She told another half truth. 

“Koschei?”

“..yes sir.”

“Well, what are you afraid of? Don’t you think Koschei would have celebrated your achievement if he knew you’d found your presence before anyone else?” 

“Well, yeah,” she admitted. “But- I dunno. I don’t mind people looking at me, just- not when it comes to something important. I mean- I’m not anything special.”

“Do you believe that, Theta?” He asked, regarding her with a funny look in his eye. Theta got that look from her professors a lot. She had no idea what it meant. 

She thought about the question. 

Theta wasn’t sure. 

She thought, perhaps it was out of the ordinary that she’d started her telepathy so early, but that was really it. Theta had always been convinced that Koschei overplayed her intelligence and her power. So no. She didn’t think she was special. 

Or maybe it was just the fact that she didn’t want to be. 

Theta really didn’t want to be special. She didn’t want responsibilities, she didn’t want duties or people looking to her for advice. She didn’t want to be someone that people looked out for, she didn’t want to be anything more than a face in the crowd. She wanted to be able to slip away with Koschei, and for no one to even bat an eyelid. 

“No. I don’t, Sir.”

“Well, Theta just- don’t hold back. I think you’re very advanced, in your brain power, and I think you’re very intelligent. But you hold back, and I’m not sure why. Whether it’s for...a boy or..something, just- just don’t shut yourself down before you’ve even had the chance to flourish.”

“Thank you, Sir. I won’t.” She nodded. Mr Lekantha nodded, turning back to his desk. 

“Well, go on, young lady. Go find your boyfriend.” He scoffed rather fondly, and Theta nodded, offering a polite smile before hurrying out of the classroom. 

Koschei was waiting half way up the corridor for her, and when he saw her come out, he started to head up towards the dinner hall. 

“Oi! Kos’! Wait up, dickwad!”

“Language Theta!” Mr Lekantha called after her. 

“Sorry sir!” She skidded after her friend. 

Koschei rolled his eyes, waiting up for her, as Theta made her way towards him. He held his hand out and she took it, squeezing. 

“What was that about?” He asked. 

Theta glanced over her shoulder to see Mr Lekantha coming out of the classroom, glancing at them before turning in the opposite direction. 

“He was just going on about me not holding back from my intelligence or something, I don’t know I wasn’t really listening.”

“Maybe you should’ve. He’s got a point.” Koschei pointed out.

“God, it’s like he hasn’t dismissed me.” She groaned, nudging his side. Koschei rolled his eyes, nudging back. 

“I’m just saying. It wouldn’t kill you to take on board the advice people give you.” 

“It wouldn’t kill you to stop acting like my mother but you still do it.” She teased. Koschei rolled his eyes. 

“I mean it Theta. You’re not always right, it’s not a bad thing to get other people’s opinions on things.”

“Listening is hard.” She decided, swinging their arms together. 

“Not when you’re listening to your own voice apparently.” 

“I hate my own voice.” She scoffed. “But silence is worse.”

“I’ll cheers to that.” He hummed, opening the door to the dinner hall and leading them inside towards the gang. 

“You’ll love silence, once we get rid of the noise.” Theta pointed out, lowering her voice. 

“If we get rid of it.”

“When.” She corrected, squeezing his hand tightly. “We will.”

“You’re such an idealist, Theta.” He rolled his eyes, sitting down. 

“Maybe you’re not enough of an idealist.” She shrugged, plopping down next to him. 

“Sure, maybe.” 


	45. Forty-five

“Now, we have an important announcement for you all.” Mr Delathorpo explained to their class, when they sat in form, confusion and curiosity written all over their faces. 

Theta frowned at Koschei, who shrugged. 

“You’re getting to a very important time in your development, when you’re starting to figure out who you are, and how to navigate your brains. So, to help you all with this, we will be pairing your class up with a Jurist, who may act as a tutor should you need it. He’ll be watching over you all carefully, and you shouldn’t be afraid to ask him questions.” 

Mr Delathorpo smiled politely at the door, and another man strode in. His robes were longer and his hat (which looked rather stupid in Theta’s opinion) was lined with expensive and intricate jewel detailing. He looked old, but his eyes were quite young, and there was glint in them that looked familiar. 

“Mr Borusa, thank you for being here.” Mr Delathorpo nodded, before turning to leave. “I’ll leave you to get settled in.” 

Mr Borusa nodded, watching the headmaster leave the room, before turning and writing his name in large letters on the board. 

“Borusa. B-O-R-U-S-A.” He turned back to them all. “Drop the ‘Mr’, save your breath.” They all glanced at each other. “Now, am I to understand that none of you actually use your names?” Nobody replied. “You. Tell me.” He pointed at Sanfej. 

“No- sir. We all have shorter nicknames. I don’t think I even know some people’s names here.”

“Well, please, go ahead.” He nodded. Sanfej glanced around the room, pointing at Rethra. 

“Rethra, Kathla, Lareth, Theta, Koschei, Pewthru, Me- I’m Sanfej, that’s..” Sanfej droned on, listing the names of everyone that was in their class. 

Theta watched this new man carefully. She struggled to gauge his presence, it was close enough to a dark blue- but..skittish. It reminded her of Koschei’s. 

“Thank you, Sanfej.” Borusa nodded once the young man had finished. “Now, I don’t expect I’ll remember all of those at once, but I will indeed try as quickly as I can.”

He straightened, rolling his shoulders. 

“Now, I find it imperative for you all to know that I will not stand for any behaviour less than perfect. You are to behave under my order, and if you do not, there will be harsh consequences. Similarly, if you have any queries about anything you’re doing in your education, my door is always open. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir.” They chorused. 

“Dismissed.” 

Theta hopped up, scooping her pen and book into her arms, and waiting for Koschei, who piled his possessions into a bag. 

Their classmates filed out, and they began to follow, before Borusa called after them. 

“Koschei. Theta.” They turned respectively. “I understand that the two of you were involved in a murder case?”

“Yes, sir.” Koschei nodded. “Falsely accused, as you can imagine.” 

“Yes.” He nodded. “Well, if you find that you have any problems because of such events, please, don’t hesitate to come and find me.”

“Thank you Sir.” Koschei said respectfully, and Theta smiled gratefully. 

“Oakdown.” Borusa scanned Koschei up and down, narrowing his eyes. “Your father owns estates, does he not?”

“Yes sir.” 

“And that means you,” he turned to Theta, and asked her if her name was what he had listed. She nodded. 

“Yes, sir.”

“How’s your telepathy going, Theta?” He said her chosen name pointedly. 

“As well as anyone else’s, sir.” She lied. Borusa narrowed his eyes even more for a moment, before humming. 

“Hm. That is all. Dismissed.”

The two of them turned and left, frowning. 

“What was that about?” Theta asked. 

“I dunno.” Koschei admitted. “He’s a bit weird, right? That wasn’t just me?”

“He was pretty..intense.” Theta agreed. “I don’t like him.” She decided. 

“You wouldn’t,” he scoffed, “always were quick to judge.”

“He said my name.” Theta shrugged, huffing. “I mean- what if I hadn’t had told you? He would’ve just spilled that out, when I didn’t want him to.” She waved her arms around frustratedly, and Koschei pulled one down, avoiding a smack in the face. “There’s a reason none of us use our actual names.”

“Is there?” He laughed. “They all just started doing it because we did. They think it’s just convenience. The difference is that they’ll tell each other their real names.” Koschei explained. “I could list all of their real names, but not yours. Not until recently.”

“I could say the same about you.” She pointed out. “You don’t tell anyone your name either. You didn’t even tell Lareth.”

“Why don’t you want people to know your name?” He asked, ignoring her point. 

“Why don’t you?” She threw back. He narrowed his eyes. 

“Hm. Stalemate then.” 

“Seems so.” 

-

Theta skidded up the empty corridor after Koschei, the two of them attempting to escape out onto campus, from where they’d been hiding for the first ten minutes of class. 

She sniggered as he glanced behind, smiling and putting a finger to his lips. Theta nodded and the two of them quickly made their way towards the door. 

“Not so fast.” Someone suddenly had a hold of Theta’s ear, and Koschei skidded to a halt. Borusa glanced down at her, with more disappointment in his face than anything else. “Where are the two of you going?” He began to drag Theta by the ear over to her accomplice. 

“Owowowowowowowowowowowow!” 

Koschei scowled at the man and made up the rest of the distance, stopping Theta from being dragged much further. 

“Do you two want to tell me what you were doing out of class?” He asked sternly. 

“Do you want to let go of her ear, sir?” Koschei glared back. Borusa regraded him for a moment, with what looked like an almost smile, but didn’t let go. 

“Hm. I was told I might find you two together. Right pair of troublemakers is what I heard. Joint at the hip, star-crossed lovers. You’ve made quite the name for yourself, I’ll tell you that.” 

“What’s your point?” Theta muttered. 

“Intelligent too. Well, Koschei. Top of your classes, despite the skiving.”

“Exactly, so I don’t see why it’s a problem.”

“Because Theta’s not exactly top is she?”

“I don’t care.” She tried to wriggle from his grip, but he didn’t let go. “I don’t need to be book smart. Everything we’re taught is rubbish anyway.”

“Even telepathy? Time travel? How to drive a TARDIS?”

“I can teach myself.” She scowled. “The professors have never done me any good.” Borusa considered this for a minute, before letting go of her ear with a slight push forward into Koschei. 

She stumbled slightly and wheeled around to scowl at him. Koschei was radiating concern, but she quelled it quickly, replacing it with anger more than anything else. 

“You two will have extra tutoring sessions with me.” Borusa announced. 

“What??” They both chorused. He nodded. 

“Once a week, I’ll take you out of lessons to tutor you.”

“What for??” Theta demanded. 

“Well,” Borusa shrugged. “If you insist that the work is not challenging you, I will take it upon myself to stimulate your brains, and give you harder work.”

“What if we don’t want them?” Koschei asked skeptically. 

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. I look forward to seeing you.” He said smugly. “Get back to class.” And with that, he turned away and back into his office. 

Theta stood, dumbfounded for a moment, before she turned to Koschei. 

“What just happened?” 

“I don’t know.” He admitted, turning back towards the exit. He took her hand and the two of them quietly continued their way back outside onto campus. 

“I don’t want to go.” She huffed. 

“Then we won’t. He can’t make us. We’ll skip it like we skip other classes.” Koschei shrugged, and Theta nodded. 

“Right.” She huffed. “Stupid Borusa. What the hell does he know?”

“Nothing we don’t already.” Koschei finished. 

“Exactly.”


	46. Forty-six

Koschei practically kicked her door in, and Theta simply raised an eyebrow at the beam on his face. 

“What’s that face for?”

“I found something crazy in the library.” He grinned, clutching a book as he strode towards her and splayed it down in front of her. 

Theta frowned, glancing down at the page he’d opened it on. 

Hypnotism. 

“Kos’, what is this?” She asked. He grinned at her. 

“It’s hypnotism. It comes with telepathy, but we’re not taught about it. But, cuz we’re ahead of everyone else, technically, we could hypnotise whoever we wanted, to do whatever we wanted, and no one could stop us.” 

Theta laughed softly, looking up at him with a quirk of her eyebrow. 

“But why would we do that?”

“Because we can.” He shrugged. “It’s all harmless, obviously. Just stupid things.”

“Like what?” 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Koschei considered, pocketing his hands. “Make Sanfej confess to Rethra, that kind of thing. To be honest, that would do him more help than harm.”

“Unless she rejects him.” Theta pointed out with a smile. 

“Which she won’t. We’ve been watching them pine over each other for decades.”

“But it’s not our place to meddle in the lives of others, Koschei.” She turned back to the page, reading over the instructions carefully. 

It seemed incredibly straight forward. Almost too much so. 

“Fine, so no meddling.” He huffed. “Tell me it wouldn’t be fun, though.” She glanced at him, at the book, and then back at him, smiling widely. 

“I can’t.” 

“Well! Let’s start learning!” He grinned, sweeping an arm to pick up the book and flop down on her bed. 

Theta jumped up from her desk and followed excitably. 

-

She skidded around the corridor, scoffing as Koschei almost slipped onto his face, before he side stepped into the boiler room. Theta followed hurriedly, closing the door behind her with a laugh. 

“Shh!” Koschei grinned, holding a finger to his lip. Theta nodded with a smile, waiting patiently for the footsteps in the corridor to die down. 

Theta had always been proud of her discovery that everyone believed the boiler room was locked. It was the perfect hiding place for two thin, lanky Gallifreyan’s, who would rather spend their time wrapped up in each others’ presences, than sitting around watching thirty of their classmates with their eyes screwed shut. 

They waited for a few minutes, before Koschei laced his fingers together. Theta nodded, stepping onto his hands and hoisting herself up to the small window behind the boiler. She pushed it open- they never locked it- and clambered through it onto the small roof. She helped Koschei up and out, the two straightening and beginning their way across the curves, elegant roofs of the Academy building. 

“Any plans?” Koschei asked. Theta hummed, hopping onto the base of a spire and spinning around it, lips pursed in thought.

“Hmmm..some kind of trouble undoubtedly.”

“Well, Duh.” He laughed, not stopping for her and trusting Theta to keep up. Which she did, after a moment she slid back down the raised base and caught up with him. 

“Do you ever get tired of not getting caught?” She asked. Koschei shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Not really. You shouldn’t get too confident Theta, you’ll make a mistake.”

“I know, I know.” She rolled her eyes. “Mother.”

“Would your mother be giving you tips on how to get away with breaking the rules?” He raised an eyebrow. Theta shrugged. 

“Not a clue. If she was anything like me- it’s a high possibility.”

“Got me there.” He scoffed, coming to the edge of the roof and sitting down, legs swinging above the hundreds of metres down that way to the floor. Theta sat beside him, glancing down. 

“Look at all those little people.” She said softly. 

“They seem inconsequential down there. We’re like Gods up here.”

“We’d be pretty shitty Gods.” Theta decided. Koschei glanced at her. 

“Why do you say that?”

“I just think I’d make all the wrong decisions.” She shrugged. “I wouldn’t want to mess up their lives.”

“It would be quite funny though,” Koschei turned back to the people. “To see them running around with no idea what’s going on.”

“Maybe for a little bit.” She admitted. “But then I’d just feel quite sorry for them. I’d want to help them.”

“Sounds like you.” He hummed. “You’d help them, even if it hurt you.”

“Probably.” She admitted. “Can’t help it. I care too much.”

“That you do, my dear.” 

“Or maybe you don’t care enough.” She hypothesised without much thought. Koschei hummed. 

“Why should I? I’ve got nothing to worry about besides you and me. That’s all that’s important to me.”

“Should that be the way it is though, Kos’?” She frowned a little at his side profile. “Do you think that’s healthy?”

“Who cares?” He shrugged. “It’s normal, it’s just the way it is. And it’s been going ok so far, so I don’t see anything wrong with it.” 

“Hm.” Theta wasn’t sure she agreed, but she also wasn’t sure she wanted to start a debate at the moment. 

“You’re all I need.” He took her hand, watching the way his thumb ran over her knuckles. “All I love.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. 

“What about your parents?” She laughed. 

“Nothing on you, my darling.”

-

Theta noticed that Borusa didn’t sleep at the school on his second week. She was heading back to her dorm from where she’d gone back to the school building to grab a book she’d forgotten, when she’d seen him getting into a vehicle. It was similar to the one she’d been taken to the Citadel in during her arrest, like a hovering tram that moved though the air. 

So the next day, she convinced Koschei (not that he needed much convincing) to skip their last period, and help her stall Borusa’s way back home. 

He waited, eyes peeled as Theta messed with wires and warps. The circuitry was different to a tram, more complicated. But Theta was smart, and it didn’t take long to figure out. 

She twisted wires together and plugged a warp into a vault, flicking a switch and watching a light flicker red. 

Her nimble fingers twisted three more wires together, hooking them up to a solder patch, which lead back to the engine. 

“Theta,” Koschei muttered urgently from behind her. “Delathorpo’a coming, come on let’s go.” He strode quickly over to a small alcove, and Theta cursed. 

“I’m almost done.” She muttered, plugging another warp in. Koschei beckoned her urgently from where he was waiting.

“Leave it, come on!”

“Hang on!” She hissed back, steadying her hands and wrapping a wire around a vault opening. 

“I’ll leave without you.” He threatened quietly. 

“Go on then!” She shook him off absently, plugging one more warp in and grabbing the plate. 

Koschei seemed to not know what to do for a moment, shifting desperately on his feet. 

“Oh- for fucks sake!” He muttered, skidding back over. With Koschei, the plate was replaced in half the time, and as soon as it was, he grabbed her hand and yanked her back into the alcove. 

Less than three seconds later, Mr Delathorpo strode past. Theta listened carefully for his footsteps disappearing on the gravel, and she grinned when they were gone.

Koschei breathed out a deep sigh of relief. 

“Jesus.” He muttered. “Theta, you’re such an idiot.”

“We did it, didn’t we?”

“And we almost got caught.” He muttered. “Next time, I will leave you.” Koschei grumbled as he stepped back out. Theta shook her head, following him. 

“No, you won’t.” 

“Then it’ll be on you if I bite the bullet.” He rolled his eyes. Theta scoffed.

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll always take the fall for my own mistakes.” She followed him out, and Koschei raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll be interested to see how that works out for you.”

“Why do you say that?” She asked curiously. Koschei shrugged, the two of them beginning their way back towards the dorm rooms. 

“You have something about you Theta. You’re likeable. People want to help, and when you mess up, I think people let you get away with it, or take the hit for you.”

“Well,” she frowned. “Then I won’t let them.”

“I think you will.” 

Theta frowned at the back of his head, falling slightly behind. She wouldn’t let that happen, she wasn’t that selfish. If she did something, she would face the consequences, just like she’d stopped Koschei from being arrested. 

Theta wasn’t sure why Koschei had gotten it in his head that she was someone to avoid responsibility, but she’d prove him wrong. 

Besides, he wasn’t always right. 


	47. Forty-seven

“Theta!” 

She turned at her name, to see Borusa, regarding her from just outside his office as she made her way up the corridor. He raised a slow eyebrow. 

“You’re alone? Is this some parallel universe?”

“Koschei’s back at my dorm, sir.” She explained. “I forgot my Geography book.” Theta nodded at the book in her hands. 

Borusa nodded in acknowledgment, stepping away from the door and indicating that she should go inside. Theta suppressed a sigh, turning and ducking her way into Borusa’s office, where she sat down opposite his desk. 

His room was messier and stacked higher with books and files than any other office Theta had ever seen. She was sure someone as prim and proper, like Mr Delathorpo, would not approve. 

“Is there a particular reason you and Koschei haven’t been coming to my tutoring sessions, Theta?” He asked calmly as he sat opposite her, and Theta glanced down, shrugging meekly. 

“I suppose we just think..there’s nothing else to know. We know pretty much everything on the curriculum.”

“You think you’re more intelligent than the rest of your classmates?” He asked. Theta nodded. 

“Yeah. Well- Koschei is. He’s so smart.” 

“And what about you Theta?” Borusa asked. “You’re always talking about Koschei, but what about you? Because I’m pretty sure I know which one of you had the brains to hot wire my way back home the other day.” He shot her a knowing look, which wasn’t exactly angry. More..entertained. Theta shrugged. 

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you mean, sir.” 

He almost smiled. 

“What do you want to do with your life, Theta?” He asked. 

“Travel.” She said truthfully. “I don’t want to stay on Gallifrey.”

“Why not?”

“Too many rules,” Theta considered. “So much out there. Koschei and I have always felt like the odd ones out here. We thought..maybe there’s people out there who are more like us.” 

“Do you want to be a Time Lord?” He asked. Theta shrugged, after a moment of consideration. 

“I don’t know, sir. I’ve never thought of it, because I don’t really have a choice.”

“I suppose that’s one way of looking at.” He admitted, before leaning forward. “You know Theta, I think your doubts of this place are well justified.”

“What do you mean, sir?” She asked. 

“Well,” he paused for a moment, obviously considering his words carefully, “your school work, is poor, Theta. It’s shocking, but simply because of the lack there of. The work you do produce is exemplary, and if you did more of it, I know you’d be a top student.

‘I think you’re incredibly intelligent, Theta. The way you wired my ride home, was honestly something rather impressive. A true show of a knowledge of mechanics, and carried out with incredible precision and accuracy. You’re not just book smart Theta, you’re street smart and I almost envy you for that.”

“I don’t think I see your point, sir.” She frowned. 

“I’m not here to tell you that you could be getting amazing grades if you put the effort in, because I know you don’t care, and I know you’ve probably heard the same spiel from hundreds of different teachers.” He paused for a long while. 

‘I’ve seen some of the universe.” That caught her interest. “I want you to see it, because it is something incredible, and I think only that will allow a mind like yours to flourish.

‘But you won’t get what you want by skipping classes. If you get kicked out of the Academy, you’re not ever going to get your hands on a TARDIS. And then you’re stuck.”

“So what?” She rolled her eyes. “Get good grades? Keep my head down?” 

“You’d do best to govern your temper, Theta.” He said sharply, and she sighed. “The way you’re going, you’d be lucky to receive a Class Three Doctorate- though, I know you don’t care.” His voice softened again.

‘I think you’d do well to pretend, Theta. Pretend you want to do well, pretend you respect tradition and the ways that this planet works. That’s how you get to where you want to go.”

“I don’t like pretending.” She argued. “I do it too often.”

“Well, of course. You haven’t seen an incentive yet.” Borusa turned, pulling his curtains shut. Theta frowned, eyes adjusting to the new darkness. 

She watched, confused, as Borusa produced two things from a drawer in his desk. The first was a small square, that when he tapped it, lit up with bright white light. 

The other was a small dark orb, that he put over the light, watching as Theta’s eyes widened. 

The light cast an image on the walls around her. It was of a shining, blue nebula, swirling and twisting around the darkness it was trapped in. 

It looked similar to the ones in the books Theta had read, but it was so different. It was breathtaking, and she glanced down to see the same colours and light splattered across her skin and clothes, sparkling and glittering. 

“Holy shit.” She whispered. Borusa rolled his eyes, but didn’t mention it. “This is crazy.”

“This is what’s out there.” He muttered, putting his chin on his fingers that were laced together. “But you’ll never get to see it if you don’t play the game.”

“This is the kind of stuff Koschei has always want to see- you should show him this. Can we show him?” 

Borusa narrowed his eyes. 

“Does your entire life revolve around Koschei?” 

She blinked at the question, and she shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I just know that this is what he’d want to see. If I’m experiencing it, I want him too as well. He’d love it.”

“And you?” He asked. 

“What about me?”

“Do you care if you love it or not?”

Theta frowned at him. 

“Yes.” It was a half true. She did care- she just wasn’t high on her list of priorities. What Koschei thought would always heavily outweigh what she thought. 

“Do you love it?” Theta thought about it. 

“..yes.”

“So why can’t it be something just for you?” He asked. “Something that you saw, that Koschei doesn’t have to know about? Why do you have to share everything?”

“Because..I want too.” His tone was almost making Theta doubt herself. “I love him- he’s my best friend. I don’t want to keep things from him.”

“Well,” Borusa shrugged. “Don’t let me tell you what to do. But maybe Theta, you should consider keeping even one thing to yourself.”

“I do.” She decided firmly. “My books.”

“Just because you own them doesn’t make them exclusively yours.” He sighed. “Have you read them with him? Has he read them?”

“Yes.”

“Exactly.” Borusa nodded. “Find something that you deserve. Something you can keep to yourself. Something that makes you, you.”

“Why?” She asked. “Why does it matter?”

“Because you’re incredible, Theta. You’re smart and you’re inquisitive and you care about the little things, I can tell. You’re a person on your own. You don’t have to be one half of a whole. You don’t need to be part of Theta and Koschei. You can just be Theta.”

“What if I don’t want to be?” She asked. Theta had never really thought about it. She supposed it would be nice to be more of an individual. But she needed Koschei. He was everything to her- to even attempt to distance herself was single-handedly the most terrifying thing Theta could ever imagine.

“Then don’t.” Borusa shrugged. “But it wouldn’t hurt you to think about it.” 

“Is that all, sir?” She asked, rather defensively. Borusa nodded, sitting back. 

“Yes. Have a good evening, Theta.” 

She stood up. 

“Have a safe journey home.” 

He almost smiled. 


	48. Forty-eight

“Hold this.” She held a valve out for Koschei to take, and he plucked it from her hand, leaning casually on the tram she was rewiring as he looked out for her.

“You ever gonna wanna break the rules in other ways?” He asked, watching Theta put a wire between her teeth and spare him one glance up. 

“Like what?” She asked, taking the valve from him. 

“Like hypnotising people.” He suggested with a small grin. 

“Dangerous.” She pointed out absently, plugging it back in and taking the wire from her teeth. 

“Not if we do it right.”

“That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.” She shrugged. “I already ruined enough lives after Torvic.”

“They all lived, didn’t they?” She shot him a look. “Fine,” he huffed. “But it can’t be that bad. Otherwise there wouldn’t be books and stuff on it. There’d probably be laws banning it.”

“How do you know there’s not?” She asked. “There’s probably a reason we don’t learn how to do it.”

“Yeah, cuz they’re dead boring.” He groaned. 

“Whining isn’t going to make me change my mind, darling.” She smiled fondly at the circuitry. 

“I’ll try my other ways then. I can be very persuasive, Thee’.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“You don’t stand a chance, my love.” He sighed softly, almost smugly, and she glanced up. 

“Really? Cuz I seem to be getting my way right now.” Theta smirked, and Koschei narrowed his eyes, leaning into her personal space. 

“Enjoy it whilst it lasts.” He murmured. 

“Oh, I will.” She pulled away from him and back to the warp drive, unplugging another valve. Koschei sighed, leaning back and scanning absently over the horizon. 

“Thee’,” he muttered. “Copper patrol.” He nodded at two men coming their way, that they were currently out of view of. The Academy had employed two police officers to keep order on the grounds, and more specifically to catch whoever was hot-wiring the trams, but they hadn’t been doing a good job so far. 

“I’m nearly done.”

“Leave it.” He said sharply. “You’ve got twenty seconds.”

“I can work with that.” She muttered, speeding up as she replugged a warp and twisted a wire together. 

“Fifteen.” Koschei straightened, ready to take off. She moved one more warp and flicked a switch. “Ten.” 

“Help me with this.” She grabbed the plate and Koschei moved quickly, helping her replace it. 

Five. 

“Go over there, get ready to move.” He muttered, taking it from her. Theta nodded and skidded over to the lower ledge where they always escaped onto the roof. 

Three. 

Koschei jumped up from the plate, following her over.

Two. 

He hoisted her up onto the roof, and Theta spun around and held a hand out. 

“You!” 

“Shit!”

Theta ducked down behind the ledge, lying flat as she listened to the scene below her, hearts pounding. 

“What’s your name??” An unfamiliar voice demanded. 

“Koschei Oakdown.” Was the calm reply. 

“Is there any reason you’re stood near a tampered tram, Koschei?” It was an angry question. 

“It’s not been tampered with, sir.” Koschei said.

“Then why is the plate on the floor?” 

Fuck. 

They hadn’t tightened it enough. 

“Koschei Oakdown, you’re being arrested on suspicion of destruction of possession, if you’ll come with us please.” 

Theta squeezed her eyes shut, reaching out to him. 

‘Hold on.’ She got out. 

What she got back, was a complicated shot of anger, trust, worry and reassurance. 

Fuck. 

Fuck fuck fuck. 

Theta waited until she couldn’t hear footsteps anymore, and stood up. 

This was her fault. This was all her fault. 

Koschei has always told her not to get sloppy, and she had and now he had taken the fall for her. The very thing she’d told him would never happen, had happened and it was her fault. 

Koschei could lose his place at the Academy. She might never see him again. 

Theta knew she had to do something, but her mind was going a mile a minute and she couldn’t slow it down. 

She had to go after him, but how was she going to get to the Citadel? 

The last tram of the day had gone half an hour ago, and they would undoubtedly be taking Koschei on the kind of hovering tram she’d been on when she’d been arrested. 

Theta had to slow down. 

She had to slow her mind down. 

And she knew where to go. 

The young woman took off over the roofs, vaulting gaps and swinging herself onto ledges and clambering up onto lips, arm muscles pleasantly exercised by the time she got to the window she wanted. 

She knocked incessantly, and after a moment, Sanfej opened it, blinking in bewilderment. 

“Theta, what are you doing at my window??”

“Does the offer still stand?” She asked, climbing in. He frowned in confusion for a moment, before his eyes cleared in realisation. Sanfej didn’t answer, only closing the window behind her, and drawing the curtains. 

“What’s happened?” He asked, crouching down and producing a small bag from under his bed. 

“I’ll tell you after,” she muttered, and he nodded knowingly. Sanfej passed her a blunt, and Theta took it with trembling fingers, holding it as still as she could whist he lit it for her. 

Theta had never done anything like that before, but at the moment, she couldn’t care less. As long as it gave her long enough to think of a plan. 

Theta took a long drag of the blunt. 

It tasted and smelt completely vile, but it stilled her trembling fingers. She breathed out slowly, before taking another drag. Theta closed her eyes and took another deep breath.

This was ok. 

She could work with this. 

She’d think of something. 

“Theta, what’s going on?” Sanfej asked, and she opened her eyes, passing him the blunt. He took a long drag. 

“Koschei’s been arrested.”

“What?” He frowned. “What for?”

“Something stupid, that I did. I need to get to the Citadel and get him out but- I can’t think of any way to get there. I just- I just need to think. There’s got to be some way it’s-“ she cut off her rambling spiel by taking the blunt back and breathing it in deeply. 

Sanfej seemed to consider something for a moment, watching her carefully, before he sighed. 

“I can get you to the Citadel.” 

Theta’s eyes snapped to his, and she narrowed them immediately. 

“How?”

“I’ve got a hover bike.”

“You’ve got a what?” She blinked. 

“It’s like the trams that float in the sky, but it’s for two people. My brother got me one, I’ve hidden it in the stables, since no one uses them anymore. Ipay off the Janitors to-“

“Yeah ok, that’s great, San’, but not relevant.” She shook him off. “Can you get me to the Citadel?”

“Yes.”

She narrowed her eyes. 

“What’s the catch?”

He paused for a moment, sighing deeply. The young man took the blunt from her and took a long drag, before making his way over to his desk and putting it out on a makeshift ash tray. 

“I read a book..on looking into people’s minds. When this is all over..I want to look into yours.” He said slowly. Theta frowned. 

“Why?” 

“Because I think you know more about what happened to Torvic than you let on.” He said gravely. “I’m not saying you did it, or even that you know who did, I just..that’s my condition. Take it or leave it.” 

Theta considered it for a long moment. It wasn’t ideal. But what other choice did she have? Besides, she was so much more advanced than Sanfej, she was sure she could keep him from digging into anything she didn’t want him too. 

“Fine. Deal.”

“Let’s go.” 

-

Sanfej lead her quickly down to the stables, and Theta followed, wishing they could speed up. 

She knew Koschei probably wasn’t in any real danger, but she couldn’t bare the thought of him being alone and scared- not that he was. Probably. 

Mostly though, Theta knew if he was taken anywhere else, like a waiting cell in a prison, or a court, she would have no idea where he was, and that was not a situation she wanted to find herself in. 

Sanfej opened the stables doors with a key, opening them wide and revealing something large, covered in a dusty cream sheet. 

Theta watched as he pulled it off, revealing a large, silver bike.

However it didn’t have wheels, instead a sleek, flat bottom. It looked incredibly high-tech, and Theta was not entirely sure she trusted it. 

Still, when Sanfej threw a leg over it, and patted the space behind him, Theta clambered on. 

“I didn’t sign up for this.” She muttered. 

“Just hold on tight, you’ll be fine.” Sanfej reassured, and she readily obliged, wrapping her arms incredibly tightly around his waist. 

Sanfej started up the bike and Theta held on tighter as it lifted off of the ground. 

She watched nervously as they moved out of the barn and upwards, Sanfej putting his foot down. 

The bike shot forward, and soon, the two were following the tram tracks to the citadel. 

“Holy fucking shit.” Theta muttered, surprisingly exhilarated the the way the wind chilled her skin and ran through her hair. 

She would be lying if she didn’t say this wasn’t slightly exciting. 

“Fun, Huh?” Sanfej called over his shoulder. 

“I guess!” She considered. “Not entirely sure I’m not about to brick it though.”

“You’ll be ok.” He reassured. “Got any idea where they might have taken Koschei?”

“No,” she admitted. “But he’s not who I need to find.” 


	49. Forty-nine

Sanfej landed the bike on the same landing bay that she’d been taken too last time, at Theta’s instruction. 

He stowed it away around a corner, and Theta hopped off. 

“What are you going to do, Theta?” He asked. “You can’t just run in there like you own the place.”

“Watch me.” She rolled her sleeves up to the elbow. “Stay here. If I’m not back in fifteen minutes, go back to the Academy.”

“I’m not about to leave without you.” He frowned deeply, leaning on his bike. 

“Get arrested then, that’s fine by me.” She shrugged, turning away from him to march inside. 

“Theta!” He called out to her in the little light, and the blond turned back around to glance at him. “Be careful.”

“You too.” He nodded, and Theta turned back towards the large door, before beginning her way inside. 

She kept her head down, trying her best way to remember her way to the floor she wanted to be on. But she didn’t get too far, looking as out of place as she did. 

“Excuse me, young lady?” A woman called to her, and Theta didn’t look up. “Excuse me!” She didn’t stop, and only sped up. “Someone stop her!” 

“Brilliant.” Theta muttered, taking off into a run towards a staircase. She glanced behind her to see three people, two men and one woman following her. They were carrying weapons, but that didn’t scare Theta. 

She knew she was faster. 

The young girl stampeded down a staircase and onto another floor. 

“Someone stop her!” A voice came from behind her. 

People ducked out of the way as she bounced forward, hearts pounding and senses on a complete overload. 

A man tried to move out of the way, dropping a book in the process. He knelt down to pick it up hurriedly, and Theta realised she didn’t have time to stop or go around him.

“Shit!” The young girl vaulted over the man, who immediately straightened, and got in the way of her pursuers. Theta laughed at them over her shoulder, turning back around to immediately duck under an arm coming to stop her. 

She skidded around a corner, thundering down another set of stairs and catching sight of where she wanted to be. 

The desk on the detective wing, that was where she’d first seen who she was looking for. 

Theta knew she’d never get that far though, she’d be dragged away before she’d even put her request in. She had to shake them off. 

Theta glanced up, noticing the high ceilings of this particular floor. 

If there was some way she could get up there, she could wait until they passed and- ah! Filing cabinet. 

The blond glanced around, the corridor was blissfully empty, and anyone who was around was looking the other way. So she jumped up onto the cabinet, yanking her way up to the top and turning to the rafters. Theta knew she wasn’t high enough yet to go unnoticed, and so she decided to jump for it. 

Maybe it was who she was, or the drugs in her system, but Theta was wired, and decided that jumping the gap upwards was the best possible idea. Besides, she’d jumped gaps higher up. 

So Theta leapt for it, fingers hooking on and her entire body weight almost swinging her around enough to take her back off. 

She grunted, using her arms to haul herself up onto the beam, squatting quietly where she was. 

An entourage stampeded, less than three seconds later, underneath her, demanding to know her whereabouts from those around her. 

They had no idea, so the group soon moved on, deciding to split up and search for her, whilst spreading the word that a young blond woman that wasn’t in any regalia, was to be arrested on sight for breaking and entering. 

Theta waited, hearts pounding and breath short, until they’d disappeared. 

She swung back down to the floor, landing neatly on her feet and hurrying her way quickly towards the desk.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” She caught the attention of the woman who seemed to run the desk, filing through a cabinet. 

“Yes, Miss?” The woman glanced up at her. Theta glanced over her shoulder. 

“Uh- I was wondering if you could let me talk to Cardinal Othra. He’s..expecting me. My name’s Theta, he’ll know who I am.”

The woman regarded her, with a frown for a moment, before nodding. 

“One moment, I’ll get him.” She closed her eyes, silent for a few seconds. “He’s on his way immediately.”

“Thank you.” Theta smiled breathlessly, waiting impatiently with her foot tapping uncontrollably. She was tempted to ask the woman if she’d seen Koschei, but she didn’t want to come off as any more suspicious, for fear that she might call security. 

“There she is!” 

“Fuck.” Theta muttered, glancing around for some kind of mistake. 

“Ethatlo, what’s going on?” The woman at the desk asked, as a man reached Theta, immediately grabbing her by the wrist. 

“Let go of me,” Theta tried to tug her wrist from his grip, “I’m here to see the Cardinal.”

“You weren’t escorted in, you’re not authorised to be here. You’re breaking and entering.” Ethatlo produced a pair of similar handcuffs she’d been put in last time. 

But Theta wasn’t having that. 

He’d gotten one on, when Theta threw her leg up, booting him square in the groin. 

The man yelled in pain, letting go of her long enough for her to bolt away from him, skidding around a corner. 

Suddenly, she was swept off of her feet and grabbed by the waist by a larger man. Theta kicked fruitlessly, caught off guard and pushing at him. 

“Let go of me!” She demanded. 

“You’re under arrest.” The man began to tug her back towards Ethatlo and the woman at the desk, but Theta kept getting a few good punches and kicks in. 

“Under arrest my ass!”

“What is going on here??” A booming voice came from up the corridor, and Theta had never been more glad to see the Cardinal. 

“Sir,” the larger man put her on her feet, but didn’t let go of her. “This young woman was breaking and entering, we were in the middle of a..regretfully messy arrest.”

“I know who she is,” the Cardinal sighed, making his way towards her. “Let go of her.”

“But, sir-“

“That’s an order.” He muttered. The man paused, before releasing Theta from her handcuffs. She snatched her hand back and rubbed at her wrists, scowling at her pursuers. “Walk with me, Theta.” 

Theta hurried her way to the Cardinal’s side, as he turned and made his way back up the corridor. Theta followed, wanting to spill everything that had happened to her, but with the fear of being disrespectful. 

“Sorry, sir.” She apologised quietly. 

“What are you doing here, Theta?” He asked. 

“My friend- he was arrested. But he didn’t do anything, and I came to come and get him.” 

The Cardinal raised an eyebrow at her. 

“You don’t trust the justice system to prove him not guilty?”

“Respectfully sir, this is the same justice system that had two corrupt police officers tormenting me and my friend for several decades so- I don’t trust them as much as I could, no.”

“Why was your friend arrested if he didn’t do it?” The Cardinal asked. 

“Wrong place wrong time, sir.”

“Is that the truth, Theta? I do hope you’re not abusing my position to help you get away with breaking the law.”

“No sir, I wouldn’t.” She lied easily. “I just- I was worried about my friend. I just wanted to know if there was anything you could do.”

“What’s his name?”

“He’s probably going by Koschei, sir. Koschei Oakdown.”

“Ah, I know the one. We’ve had to detain him.” He sighed tiredly, and a spark of worry set in Theta’s stomach. 

“What for, sir?”

“He’s certainly got a temper. And knows his stuff, I’ll give him that. Knocked at least two of my men stone cold unconscious.”

“I’m so sorry, sir. He- he doesn’t deal well with stress.” 

“You are a right pair, aren’t you?” The Cardinal rolled his eyes as the two of them came to stand in front of a cell door, that Theta had unknowingly been led too. The older man pressed a few buttons and put his palm against the wall, and the door opened wide, with a hiss. 

Inside, scowling, was a rather rough looking Koschei, who’s face immediately cleared when he saw Theta on the other side of the door. 

“Theta..” he stood up and she grinned widely, meeting him in the doorway for a bone crushing hug. “You came to get me?”

“Of course I did.” She squeezed tightly, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I wasn’t going to let you take the fall for something you didn’t do.”

“How did you even get here?” He blinked, pulling back enough to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“I’ll explain on the way back.” Theta peeked herself from him to glance at the Cardinal. “Thank you, sir. So much. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you. And..him, too.”

“Next time, Theta, I’ll think it’s more than a coincidence. I don’t want to see either of you in here for an arrest again. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir.” They both nodded. 

“Get out of here. I’ll sort the paperwork.” He sighed, letting Theta lead Koschei out of the corridor and back towards the platform that Sanfej was waiting on. 

“How did you find me? How did you even get here?” Koschei asked. 

“Well- I smoked a bunch of weed, got a lift on Sanfej’s hover bike in exchange for information on Torvic’s death, then got in here and kicked a guy in the balls.”

Koschei blinked at her.

“Ok, several questions. Weed?”

“Needed to calm down.”

“Hover bike?”

“Sanfej hides it in the stable. He pays off the Janitor to keep quiet about it.” 

“Information on Torvic’s death?”

“Sanfej thinks I know more than I’m letting on, but I’ll just block out everything I don’t want him to see anyway, so he’ll never know.”

“Right.” Koschei ran a hand over his face. 

“I heard you knocked a couple guys unconscious?” Theta said, in a tone that was supposed to sound scolding. But, she couldn’t put much heart in it, since she’d mentioned kicking a guy in the balls less than thirty seconds ago. 

They made their up the stairs, no one doing much more than sparing them uneasy glances. 

“I had to. They were going to take me to a court building, and I knew if I went, I’d never be able to get back to the Academy when I escaped.”

“Well,” she hummed. “I’m just glad you stayed here.”

“I just can’t believe you came to get me.” He repeated, the two of them finally arriving back at the platform. 

“Course I did. I wasn’t going to let you take the fall for something I did.”

“I love you.” He said softly. Theta smiled privately, aware that they were coming up to Sanfej. 

“I love you too.”

Koschei rounded the corner, and Sanfej grinned. 

“There you are! Was starting to get worried!”

“All’s good.” Theta nodded. 

“Thanks man,” Koschei shared the bro hug that Theta knew all to well, as one of the respective bros, before he hummed thoughtfully. “Nice bike.”

“Why thank you. Want a ride?”

“Not got much of a choice, have I?”

“Nope!” Theta grinned, hopping onto the bike and patting the space in front of her for the other two men. 


	50. Fifty

The three of them managed to squish onto the bike, Theta perched on the very back with her arms wrapped tightly around Koschei’s middle. 

Sanfej set them off, and soon they were comfortably on their way back to the Academy. Theta knew they’d be back long before sunrise, and thought that they might even be back in time to get some sleep. 

She knew she could really do with it, she could only imagine how Koschei felt. 

Theta smiled as the cold wind ran through her hair and under the collar of her shirt. She felt so free, for once, and she perched her chin on Koschei’s shoulder. 

“It’s beautiful from up here, huh?” She asked, glancing down at the ground below them. Because it was. The lights lit up the citadel like a crystal, sparkling and shining with yellow artificial signs of life. 

“Sure,” Koschei hummed. “If you like that kind of thing.” 

Theta only rolled her eyes fondly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

“I’m glad you’re safe too. That was really risky, Thee’.”

“Well, maybe. But I wasn’t going to leave you. I promised you wouldn’t take the fall for any stupid mistake I made.”

Koschei glanced over his shoulder at her, raising an eyebrow. Theta groaned. 

“Yes, ok fine. You were right. I got sloppy.”

“Yeah, you did.” He rolled his eyes, turning back to look forward. 

“But I fixed it. I was right too, I stuck to my word.”

“I can’t fault you on that, I suppose.” Koschei admitted with a quiet scoff. “Not the most..espionage of approaches though.”

“Espionage is not my thing, Koschei. I was going to go in all guns blazing, or I wasn’t going to go in at all.” 

“Maybe we should get you a gun.” He considered, and Theta punched him in the middle. 

“Shut it.” She warned. 

“What you gonna do?” He teased. “Throw me off?”

“Nah. Just leave you dangling.”

“Exciting.” He grinned. Theta just nudged him playfully, settling against his back for the rest of the flight back to the Academy. 

-

Theta swung her leg over the seat, grabbing the large sheet that Sanfej had previously used to cover the bike with. 

“Thanks for doing this Sanfej, I know you were taking a massive risk.” She rambled absently over her shoulder, as Koschei took the other side of the sheet, helping her throw it over the bike. “And, y’know, I know that-“

“I’m sorry Theta.” She heard behind her. Theta barely had time to turn before two fingers were pressed to her temple. 

Torvic. 

That’s what he was looking for. 

Torvic. 

Torvic. 

His nails clawed at the dirt. 

His legs flailed. 

His screams were silent. 

Torvic. 

Torvic was dead, she’d killed him. He was dead and he was drowned in the brook and they burnt his body and they got away with it and-

Theta shoved herself away from Sanfej. She had been caught off guard, she hadn’t had time to put her walls up. 

Sanfej was staring at her, eyes wide and filled with horror. 

“Sanfej..” she whispered, stepping towards him. “Hang on, it’s not what you think-“

“Get away from me!” He cried, stumbling backwards slightly, before ducking away from her and sprinting from the stable. 

Theta turned to Koschei, who glanced from him back to her, eyes dark and immediately thrown into calculations and scenarios. 

“You’re faster than me. Get him, I’ll deal with him after that.” 

Theta wanted to know what he meant by that, but she didn’t have time to ask. 

She had not come this far for Sanfej to throw that all away. 

“For fucks sake.”

Theta took off after the boy, who was thundering his way away from the stable, with what seemed like a clear trajectory to the Teacher’s dorm building. 

She cursed under her breath, throwing off her jacket as she bolted after it. 

Sanfej glanced over his shoulder, crying out in terror when he saw her following him. The young man stumbled, but righted himself, speeding up. 

That was fine. 

Running was fine, Theta was good at running. Great at running, even. 

He turned a quick right, clearly trying to shake her off. Theta skidded slightly in the dirt, but didn’t stumble, pushing off of her back foot immediately. 

Theta noticed an alcove about thirty metres in front of Sanfej. 

That was good. She could use that. 

Theta’s tired legs only pushed harder, as she perused the poor, terrified young man, reaching him as they came up on the alcove. 

She grabbed him by the back of the shirt, throwing him back into the alcove and cornering him, blocking off his only exit.

Sanfej began to cry bloody murder, and Theta, who was still trying to catch her breath, immediately panicked, putting a hand over his mouth. 

Sanfej only grew more panicked, and took the opportunity to bite her. Theta yelped, snatching her hand back, as her captive kept yelling and screaming. 

“Sanfej- please- listen to me, I’m- I’m not going to hurt- oh for- please-“ he kept screaming, “SHUT UP.” Theta yelled over his screaming, and Sanfej gasped, scream dying in his throat as his bottom lip trembled. Theta took a deep breath. “Sanfej, please, listen to me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Y- y- you murdered- my- my best friend.” He sniffled, shaking. Theta swallowed tightly, and nodded. 

“I know. And I wish I could say something that could get you to understand why, but there isn’t.” 

“Theta- p- please- I won’t tell anyone what I know, just please- please don’t kill me.” 

Her hearts broke in her chest, and Theta actually welled up. She would never do anything of the sort. 

“I’m not going to lay a finger on you, Sanfej, I promise. I’m not going to hurt you- I never wanted to hurt anyone.” 

“Th- then- why??” The now crying Sanfej asked. 

“Theta,” a voice came from behind her, and the blond didn’t make the mistake of taking her eye off of Sanfej. 

“You-“ the other man rounded on Koschei, terror still lacing his voice. “You were there- you- you helped cover it up.”

Theta wanted to ask Koschei, who came to stand beside her what they were going to do, but she decided that wasn’t a good idea, not in front of Sanfej. 

But what could they really do? 

He knew too much, and even if he did promise not to tell anyone, it was still far too risky to let him go, knowing what he did.

Koschei seemed to have thought of that though, because, of course he had. 

“I’m not going to hurt you Sanfej.” He stepped towards their trembling classmate, and Theta watched on, words already on her lips to stop him if he did something she didn’t like. 

Sanfej closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as tears streamed down his cheeks, as Koschei pressed four fingers to his temple. 

Theta watched in confusion and concern, as Koschei shut his eyes, and two seconds later, the other man dropped to the ground. 

“Kos’,” she stepped forward, putting a hand on his arm as he lowered it. “What did you do?”

“Wiped his memory. He’ll remember nothing that happened tonight. Not even going to the Citadel to get me.”

“What?” Theta turned to frown deeply at him. “Where the hell did you learn to do that?”

“All part of the hypnosis stuff.” He shrugged, leaning down to grab Sanfej’s arms. “Help me get him back to his dorm, we can’t stay here. Not when he was screaming bloody murder.” 

Theta blinked, slightly bewildered as she grabbed Sanfej’s feet. 

She got a sinking revelation that they’d been in this situation before- carrying a limp body between them. But this was different. Sanfej was alive, and that was good enough for her. 

“How long have you been learning to do that?” Theta asked as the two of them began to hurry their way back towards the dorm building. 

“Since I found the book on hypnotism.”

“How did you know it would work?” She frowned. 

“I’ve done it before.”

“On who??” 

“Y’know, just people. It always worked, so nothing to worry about.”

“What??” Theta demanded, through a hiss. “Koschei! You can’t use people as your lab rats!”

“It never went wrong, they never got hurt.” He shrugged, glancing over his shoulder to check the way he was going. 

Theta wanted to be furious. She couldn’t believe that Koschei had been so reckless. Still, his little trick had saved them a lot of trouble, so she couldn’t be that mad. Still, she didn’t have to be happy about it. 

“Did you do it to me??” She demanded. Koschei frowned at her, looking almost appalled. 

“No! Not you, Thee’. I would never.”

“Oh, so you’re fine with using other people as guinea pigs?” 

“I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure it was going to work.” He muttered, opening the door to the dorm building. Theta shook her head and huffed out through her nostrils. 

“Jesus Christ.” She muttered. 

“Look, it saved our asses, didn’t it? The only other option was smashing his head in with a rock, and I’m not sure that was high on your list of priorities, was it?” He asked, doing his best to walk up the stairs backwards. 

“Don’t say that.” She grumbled. 

“I did us a favour.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“He’ll be fine.” Koschei groaned, the two of them finally getting to the right floor. 

“It wasn’t fair. He has a right to his own memories.” She sighed sadly, knowing the situation wasn’t exactly anyone’s fault, and that there was nothing anyone could’ve done. All things considered, the outcome was about as good as it could’ve been. 

“Rather his memories than his life.” Koschei muttered absently, kicking Sanfej’s door open and the two of them hauling him inside. 

Her entire body ached. 

It had been a long day. 

The two of them let him flop onto his bed, and Theta haphazardly covered him with a blanket. 

“You’re sure he’ll be alright?” She asked with a sigh, taking Koschei’s hand in some kind of reconciliation. 

“I’m sure.” He squeezed it. They’d made up. 

“I’m knackered.” She groaned, leading him out of the room and back towards her own. “And I left my fucking jacket on the campus.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go get them. You go get some sleep, I need to close the stable doors anyway.”

“There’s no point, I may as well come with you. I won’t get any sleep if you’re not there anyway.”

“If you’re sure.” He shrugged. Theta nodded, the two of them staring their way back down the stairs. 

“Aren’t you aching?” She asked. 

“Yeah. But we can’t leave things out. We can’t get sloppy.”

“Right, right.” She sighed. The two for them were quiet for a moment. 

“Have I ever told you you’re a very impressive runner?” He glanced at her, and Theta scoffed. 

“Not specifically.”

“Well you are. You’re bloody fast, Theta. It’s not fair that you get to be good at climbing, and running. You should leave some for the rest of us.”

“You should leave some brain to the rest of us, but that doesn’t stop you.” She murmured absently. Koschei was quiet for a moment. 

“I can teach you how to wipe memory, Theta.”

“Think I’ll politely decline.” She said without hesitation. Koschei shrugged. 

“Think about it.”

“Oh, I will,” she sighed. “I’ll think about it a lot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi gang! I can’t believe I’ve already written fifty chapters of this, it feels like I started it literally yesterday. Thank you for your ongoing support, I love you all so much! Comments keep me motivated! <333
> 
> I JUST FINISHED PROOFREADING THE NEXT CHAPTER THEN DELETED IT ALL IM GONNA FMEHDNMNNRJEJDNENDJ ITS GONNA BE LATE YALL FML


	51. Fifty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters short, I had to write it twice <3

She started the game. 

“Tell me,” Theta asked, watching Koschei come out of the bathroom. “What did you do when you hypnotised people?”

“Nothing much.” He shrugged. “Told them a sentence, then made them forget it.”

“Oh, and you want me to believe you never went further than that?” She raised an eyebrow from where she was balled up in his desk chair. 

“Sure.” Koschei shrugged lightly. “If it makes you sleep easier at night.”

“It won’t.” She reassured. “You love a science experiment, you can’t help yourself.” She kept her tone light, not wanting to force him into a defensive position. 

Koschei hummed, pausing to sort his hair out in the mirror. 

“Two sentences. Three sentences. Then a whole conversation.”

“And then?”

“And then...I got arrested.” He shrugged.Theta frowned deeply at him through the reflection. 

“I don’t suppose telling you not to do it will stop you, will it?”

It was his move. 

“It might,” he indulged. Oh, that was a risky move. And he knew it. “If you give me a good enough reason.” Koschei challenged through the reflection. 

Theta narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, trying to figure out what his game plan was. It was Koschei, everything he did was intentional. But she was slower. 

“I don’t suppose, ‘it’s dangerous’ would work?” Theta checked. Koschei chuckled. 

“Afraid not, my darling. I know what I’m doing.”

“And what about consent?” She asked. “Doesn’t it matter that they never agreed to having their memories wiped?”

“They don’t remember it.” He shrugged. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

She was losing. 

“Ok, question.”

“Anything, my love.” 

Theta planted her feet on the ground, from where he knees had been pulled up to her chest. 

“Does intelligence affect it? Because it’s been scientifically proven that it affects short term memory at least. So if you have someone smarter, does that make them better to use? Because there’s more to work with?” 

Koschei narrowed his eyes at her in the mirror. He was trying to figure out her game plan. 

“Yes, in some ways.” He indulged slowly. 

Theta stood up, moving to stand in front of him as he turned to his right. 

“So use me.” She shrugged. Koschei raised his eyebrows. 

“What?”

“Use me. I’m smart, I’m giving you my consent. Wipe my memory.”

“No.” He frowned. 

Her move, and she knew where she’d play. 

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want too. I care about you, I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Oh, so you can understand that it’s not a good thing to do? Morally?” 

Check.

He sighed, glancing away from her for a second. 

“You don’t have to turn everything into a moral debate, Theta.”

“I didn’t. You did.” She shrugged. “Use me, or don’t use anyone at all.” There decided to soften her words with a quick kiss, eager not to make him an enemy when it came to this. Koschei smirked. 

“And how are you going to know if I do use other people?” He pressed a kiss back to her lips.

“Those dark eyes. Koschei Oakdown, I can read you like a book.” She kissed him back quickly. 

“Well, maybe I should work on that.” He considered after a moment, pecking her on the lips again. 

“You couldn’t hide from me, even if you tried.” She smiled, kissing him again. Then Theta pulled away, making sure she had the last move. Koschei raised an eyebrow. “Leave them alone, Koschei, please. I don’t mind helping you with it. Experiment all you want, just experiment with people who consent.”

“I’m not doing it to you, Theta.” He sighed. 

“You’re so sure that it’s safe though. I trust you. I don’t mind.”

“No.”

“Then stay out of other people’s minds. If you wouldn’t do it to me, maybe you shouldn’t do it at all.” 

“Don’t get all ethical on me, Theta.” He groaned“I wasn’t hurting anyone.”

“No, but there are still laws that stop people from doing things, even when they don’t hurt others. That’s not where the bar is.”

“Maybe it should be.” He shrugged, leaving her with a final kiss before going to find his jacket. 

Shit. 

Her move. 

-

Theta glanced up as Sanfej sat down. He didn’t look too good, his hair was all messed up and he had dark bags under his eyes, like he’d been crying the night before. 

Which she knew he had. 

“You alright, San’?” She asked softly. He nodded. 

“Yeah. I feel really out of it though. Like, I don’t remember going to bed last night at all. And I feel like I was up hours later than I actually was. I’m so tired, it’s like I got three hours of sleep or something.”

“You might be sick, San’,” Lareth frowned worriedly from across the table. “Maybe you should take the day off.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He mumbled, picking at his food. “I had the craziest dream though.” 

Theta straightened, throat tightening. That couldn’t be good. 

“Oh? What was it?” She asked. 

“I had this mad dream, that Rethra and I were on this planet, with giant beetles.” He glanced at the young woman and she laughed, blushing. 

The entire table collectively groaned under their breath. 

“You’re so silly, Sanfej.” Rethra giggled. 

“For gods sake.” Theta muttered. 

“I wish they’d just get it on already.” Koschei agreed besides her. 

-

“Theta! Koschei!” The two of them groaned, definitely loud enough for him to hear, as they turned back to Borusa. “Well it’s nice to see you too.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Do you need something, sir?” Theta asked. 

“Yes, actually. Last night I got a message, that you had been arrested.” He nodded at Koschei, who did a wonderful impression of confusion. “You seem surprised.”

“I am. As I’m sure you can see sir, I was not arrested.”

“Yes, it’s strange to see you back so soon.” Borusa considered. 

“Perhaps they confused me with someone else.” Koschei shrugged smoothly. 

“Perhaps.” Borusa glanced between them, as if he were trying to figure them out, but just couldn’t manage. “Then again, Oakdown is a very well known name. Not one that many would get confused.”

“Maybe it was a typo.” Theta suggested helpfully. Koschei nodded. 

“Yes, well! Life must go on.” Borusa clapped his hands together. “I expect to see you both at my tutoring session tonight. Especially because you haven’t come to any yet.”

“Respectfully, sir, what makes you think that today will be any different?” Theta asked, frowning. 

“Well,” Borusa shrugged. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want your other professors to know that the two of you were in the Citadel last night, causing quite the ruckus.” They didn’t look at each other. “You know, sometimes you two amaze me. You seem to be in so many places at once.”

“I don’t see your proof, sir.” Koschei muttered. 

“I have photos. Camera evidence, eye witness accounts. What do you think would happen to you two if Mr Delathorpo got wind of it?”

“Are you blackmailing us?” Koschei scowled at the man. Theta glanced at him, for reassurance or even the first hint of a plan, but he was too busy glaring at Borusa. 

“No! Absolutely not, Koschei.” Borusa feigned outrage, but there was a light under his eyes that Theta wanted to punch off of his face. And she wasn’t even a violent person anymore. “I prefer it, giving you an incentive.” 

“We’ll be there.” Theta interjected coldly, taking her time to scowl at the man. 

“Not a minute late. Or Mr Delathorpo will get all of this.”

Their move. 

“Fine.” She turned away, Koschei following her up the corridor. “That evidence won’t survive the night.” She muttered. 

“Oh I do love a bonfire.” He smiled besides her. 


	52. Fifty-two

The two of them trudged their way, sulkily, towards Borusa’s office after their lessons that same day. 

“You distract him, I’ll burn it?” Koschei scoffed dryly. Theta rolled her eyes. She was not looking forward to this. 

“If he even has evidence. How do we know he’s not making it all up? He could’ve just had one of his Citadel buddies mention us to him, and he might’ve connected the dots.” She grumbled. 

“Fine. We figure out if there is any evidence, and if there is, you distract him, I’ll burn it.”

“Why do you always get the fun part?” She pouted. 

“Because I trust you around a flame as much as someone trusts a cat around a mouse.”

“Harsh.”

“True.” He shrugged, swallowing his pride enough to be the one to knock on Borusa’s door. 

The older man opened it after a second, letting them in with a smug smile. 

“Glad to see you.”

“I’d say the same, sir, but we’re not allowed to lie.” Theta smiled, slouching down in one of the two chairs opposite his desk. Koschei scoffed, sitting down next to her. 

Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad. Besides, she had Koschei. He’d make it bearable, even if nothing else did.

“Ever with the intelligent quip, Theta.” He hummed, closing the door behind them. 

“It’s the only thing I’m good at.” She shrugged, watching Borusa sit opposite the two of them. 

“Now, I don’t suppose asking the two of you if there’s anything you need extra help with, or want more information on is going to get me very far, is it?” 

Theta shrugged. 

Koschei was quiet for a moment. 

“Yes actually. Two things.” 

She glanced at him, surprised but willing to hear him out. Because of course she was, it was Koschei. Borusa looked as confused as Theta felt, and so he nodded. 

“Well, ask away.”

“Telepathy.” Koschei pressed. “What’s the earliest anyone has ever been known to begin?” 

Borusa frowned slightly. 

“I think, maybe thirty years before the expected rate. Why? Are either of you ahead of the others?”

“No,” Koschei shrugged. “Just, always was interested in it.”

“I see.” Borusa nodded. “Well, I’m happy to answer any questions you might have on it.”

“I have a question.” Theta interjected. She figured that if Koschei was going to use Borusa to their advantage, she may as well follow his lead. “I read about hypnotism in a book in the library. Where does that fit into it?”

“Well,” Borusa sighed, pausing for a moment to consider his answers. “It all deals with the same part of the brain. There’s an entire brain stem, devoted to that kind of telepathic interaction with others. It technically falls under the same umbrella of telepathy, but was made illegal to commit a few centuries ago.”

“Why?” Theta asked. 

“Because, opinion changed. People started seeing it as unethical.”

“But it never hurt anyone, did it?” Koschei said rather sharply, not looking in Theta’s direction. 

“No,” Borusa shook his head. “And it still happens, because it’s, obviously, incredibly difficult to police. So, the Citadel thought the best way to stop it was to stop younger generations ever knowing it exists. That book shouldn’t really be there.”

“Well,” Theta shrugged. “We won’t tell anyone.” 

“Sir, how much do you know about the untempered schism?” Koschei asked, from where he’d been sat rather quietly. Borusa looked quite shocked by their bombarding of questions. 

“God, you two are curious, aren’t you?” They didn’t reply, and he sighed. “The untempered schism acts as an incentive for Time Lords to take the long, gruelling education that ends up with them becoming just that.”

“Even though we don’t get a choice.” Koschei muttered dryly. Borusa hummed in acknowledgment. 

“Well, yes. It’s not perfect. But, it only seems to inspire some people. Others run away..or go mad.”

“What did you do, sir?” Theta asked. 

“Thats the question, isn’t it?” He chuckled. 

“But when they go mad, people don’t actually go mad, right?” Koschei frowned. “Like it’s just, y’know..a saying.”

“Perhaps.” Borusa considered. “Some people are genuinely very different after it. Perhaps though, madness is only the way we describe things we cannot understand.”

“What kind of thing do these people say they experience?” Theta asked. 

“Oh, you know. Saying they saw the truth, the meaning of the universe. All that ever was, all that will be. Smelt things, felt God. Tasted singular atoms.”

“Nothing about hearing?” Theta frowned. “That’s strange.”

“I suppose so.” Borusa hummed. “It’s supposed to be impossible for the untempered schism to mess with hearing though. Which I guess is a good thing.” He laughed. “Wouldn’t want people running around with noises in their heads. That would be awful.” 

“Yeah.” Theta laughed. “Awful.” She focused for a moment, forming words in her mind and pushing them in Koschei’s direction across their bond. ‘Are you ok?’ 

He pushed back a sense of annoyance, but mostly reassurance, that he was fine. Just annoyed. And slightly frustrated. 

“Why do you think it can’t affect hearing, specifically?” Theta asked, and Borusa hummed in thought. 

“I’m not sure really.” He admitted. “I’m sure there’s a scientific study on it somewhere. Maybe I have it.” He stood up, turning around to his bookcase to look for a book. 

Theta took her opportunity to glance at Koschei, who nodded. She stood up, crossing the room and crossing her arms over her chest. 

“This is quite the collection, sir.” She considered. “What are these all on?”

“Well,” he ran a hand down a particular shelf. “These are all on the history of culture. Y’know, why things are the way they are. Why we cover our collarbones, and why the untempered schism is the way it is.” 

“That’s really interesting.” She feigned genuine enthusiasm. ‘Got it?’ She asked, pushing her words across to Koschei with less effort than the first time. 

He let out a so-so emotion, that Theta took as an almost. 

“Why do we cover our collarbones, sir?”

“Well, Theta, as the inquisitive young lady you are, why don’t you find out for yourself?” He asked, taking a book down and holding it out to her. Theta smiled politely, taking it from him. 

“I will.”

She felt a delight behind her, which was replaced three seconds later, by a pair of arms snaking their way around her waist. 

Theta could feel the paper under Koschei’s shirt as he pressed his chest to her back, and she almost smiled.

“Got any other thrillers, sir?” He asked. 

Borusa rolled his eyes at them, turning back to sit down.

“Please Koschei, touch your girlfriend in the privacy of your own dorm, not in my office.”

“My sincerest apologies.” He let go of Theta, smugness radiating for him as he crossed the room and sat back down. 

-

The rest of the session passed incredibly slowly. Borusa went through the logistics of the mountain range just south of the Academy, and why they were shaped the way they were. He was more than open to letting the two of the ask completely unrelated questions that would lead them on a tangent. Theta liked asking those questions. It was more interesting than learning about mountains. 

He dismissed them when they had seemingly tired him out, and Koschei stood, taking Theta’s hand. 

“Thanks Sir! See you tomorrow!” She called, the two of them hurrying their way out of the room. They began quickly down the corridor, sniggering and trying to control their speed. 

That was until the door swung open again. 

“Koschei! Theta! Get back here right now!”

“Go! Go go!” Theta snorted, pushing Koschei up the corridor. Borusa didn’t follow them, only sighing exhaustedly as the two thundered their way towards the exit, laughing loudly with a lighter in one hand, and all the evidence he’d compiled in the other. 

He was sure they’d be the death of him. 


	53. Fifty-three

“Tell me, my darling,” Koschei hummed from where he was threading his fingers though Theta’s hair lazily. The two of them had been awake for an hour, having both woken up early, and were lying in bed together, waiting for people to begin to get up in the rooms next to them. 

Theta hummed in acknowledgement. 

“Do you want to go to class today?”

“At all?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah.”

“Hm.” Theta thought about it for a moment. “What’s the alternative?”

“Staying in my arms until the sun goes down?” He suggested. Theta scoffed, shifting slightly in said arms. 

“Alright, sap. You’ve twisted my arm.”

“I’m good at that.” Koschei considered. Theta rolled her eyes, yawning and curling up tighter. 

“Mhm.” She hummed absently. “Unfortunately.”

“Depends on who you ask.” He pointed out. 

“Do you always have to be so complicated?” She mumbled, closing her eyes. 

“Got to keep you on your toes somehow.”

“Mm, keep talking.” She murmured quietly. 

“Why?”

“Because you’re so boring, it’s helping me sleep.”

“The lack of respect,” he scoffed underneath her, and Theta made a general sulky noise, kicking one of her legs. Koschei sighed deeply“Fine, fine. You child. Um...” he paused for a moment. “Well, the Gallifreyan spotted monarch butterfly has a wingspan of approximately seven inches, which allows it a great surface area when in flight. You might think this would hinder its aerodynamic ability, but actually..”

Theta smiled fondly, at the sole fact that Koschei had decided to talk about butterflies for her, and drifted off back to sleep. 

-

“Koschei,” she asked from where she was scribbling on the cover of one of his work books. Koschei had left the bathroom door open, and called back from the shower. 

“Yeah?”

“Y’know we have really long lives?”

“Compared to other races, yeah I was aware of that.”

“How long do you think you could spend with me before you got bored?” She asked. Koschei scoffed. 

“Bored?? Of you?” He laughed. “You couldn’t bore me even if you tried. You’re far too unpredictable. I’m pretty sure even you don’t know what you’re going to do next.”

“Don’t you think you’ll at least get fed up of me? If we spend too much time together?”

“No, Theta.” He reassured, turning off the shower. Theta added shading to the antenna she was delicately creating. “Don’t get me wrong, you can be fucking insufferable sometimes, but I’m not going to get fed up of you. If I was, I feel like I would’ve done it already.”

“Maybe.” She hummed. 

“Why? Bored of me?” He teased, and Theta watched him pull on a shirt from the mirror. She shook her head, even though he wasn’t watching. 

“No, not possible.”

“Fed up, then?”

“No.” She frowned. “I would never.”

“Well then,” he shrugged, emerging from the bathroom as he did his belt up. “Nothing to worry about then, we’re fine.”

“Yeah. We are.” She smiled. 

-

“My arm’s gonna cramp.” Koschei complained. Theta shushed him. 

“I’m almost done. Stay still.” She went back to humming her favourite song quietly as she worked delicately. 

“Can I look yet?” He asked. 

“No. You’ll spoil it.” She rolled her eyes at his impatience, and drew a thinner line. She hummed for a little while longer, smiling at the gentle breeze airing out her room. 

She was having a great day. 

“Ok. I’m done.” She smiled, letting go of his arm to grin at her work. 

Koschei looked down at his forearm, and found the circular Gallifreyan for ‘butterfly’, neatly written on the inside of his wrist, along with a perfectly shaded, intricately accurate drawing of the butterfly they’d been arguing about the day they met accompanying it. 

“Thee’,” he said gently. “I love it, it’s so pretty. This is a great drawing.” 

“Maybe we should get tattoos together.” She suggested with a grin, flopping back against her bed. Koschei kept looking at his new drawing, but smiled. 

“What would be the point? They’d just come off when we regenerated.”

“Yeah, but then we could get a new one, or just do the same one again.” She explained. 

“Hm.” Koschei thought about it for a moment. “You know what, sure. Let’s do it.” Theta sat up, blinking in surprise. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. Next lessonless, we’ll go down to the Citadel and we’ll get matching tattoos.”

“That’s rather spontaneous of you, Koschei. Where did you pick that up from?”

“Oh I wonder.” He rolled his eyes, finally looking away from his wrist and smiling at her. 

“What are we gonna get?” She asked, propping herself up onto her elbows. Koschei shrugged. 

“You’re more artistic than me, you design them.”

“You trust me that much to design something that you’ll have on your body for at least another couple of decades?” She raised an eyebrow. He smiled and shrugged again. 

“Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I think you’ll come up with something pretty.”

“Pretty??” She shot up, striding over to her desk. “Darling I’ll come up with something gorgeous.”

Koschei smiled at her knowingly, before rolling his eyes and throwing an arm over them. 

“I’ll bet you will.” He murmured. Theta sat down at the desk, and pulled one knee up to her chest, grabbing a pencil and chewing on it in thought. 

There were so many options, and she couldn’t quite choose which one she wanted to go with. 

-

Theta sat up slowly, hearts pounding and hands trembling. Koschei hadn’t stirred besides her, and she figured she must not have been moving around enough for him to notice she was having a nightmare. 

Theta sat in the darkness, trying to slow her beating hearts and catch her breath, when she felt hot tears beginning to slip down her cheeks. 

She pulled a trembling hand up to wipe them away, incredibly confused. She wasn’t sure why she was crying, or when she’d started. 

Theta balled her hands up and wiped her cheeks, sighing out sharply. 

She was fine. She was happy. Everything was going really well. She and Koschei were doing well, no one was coming after them anymore, and she didn’t have to worry about going to prison. 

But maybe, Theta wondered, that might be the problem. 

No matter what Koschei said to her, she knew she’d always feel like she didn’t deserve to go free for what happened. She wanted to go free, she didn’t want to be taken away from Koschei, but she knew she deserved to be. 

Theta felt like she didn’t deserve anything she had. Not her education, not her mind, and certainly not Koschei. 

She knew she wasn’t a good person, but she wanted to be. Theta so desperately wanted to do good, and appreciate beauty and nature, and she wanted to be happy. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that she hadn’t earned that right. 

Maybe this night was just a little bump in the road, she thought. Maybe she was just having a moment, and maybe she’d be fine in the morning. 

But Theta wouldn’t be able to shake the still nagging, black virus at the back of her mind. She wasn’t sure she’d even be able to burn that out with a regeneration. 

And that thought made her want to cry even more. 

Theta took a few deep breaths, squeezing her eyes shut and forcing them dry. Then she lay back down, lying just away from Koschei. 

She didn’t think she deserved to hold him. 

She didn’t think she deserved love. 

But maybe that was just because she was alone. Maybe that was just what happened when Theta was left to her thoughts. 

Simple solution, she figured. 

Don’t be alone. 


	54. Fifty-four

“Koschei?” She put her pencil down nervously, turning to where he was sat on the windowsill. 

“Yeah?” He glanced back at her, as Theta held up the book she’d been drawing on. 

Koschei stood up and made his way over, taking the book from her. He looked at the designs for a moment, before smiling widely. 

“Theta, these are perfect.”

“You like them?” She frowned. “Cuz, you can say if you don’t. I can come up with something else.”

“No, no I love them.” He smiled softly, not looking away from the drawing. “Which one is mine?”

“This one.” She pointed at the first drawing. 

“They’re so clever.” He smiled. 

“Do you really want to get them?” Theta asked, watching his reaction carefully. “I want you to be sure. Cuz I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want my scribbles on your body for years.” She laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Thee’. I really do love them.”

“Ok.” She breathed out in relief, nodding. “Good. I’m glad.”

“You should be proud of your work, Theta. Especially when it’s this beautiful. You’ve got a knack for this kind of art.”

“Well,” she shrugged meekly. “Shame the Academy isn’t big into encouraging creativity.”

“No.” He agreed, finally looking up at her. “But I’ll always encourage it.”

“As I would encourage you, if you had any hobbies.” She scoffed. Koschei handed her the book back, shrugging as he made his way back towards the windowsill. 

“I thought gazing at you all day counted as a hobby.” He grinned. 

Theta groaned, throwing a pencil in his general direction, and rolling her eyes fondly. 

-

Theta brought the book with her when they went down to the Citadel, finding the shop tucked away in a street corner that specialised in tattoos. 

She explained the designs in intricate detail to the man that Koschei payed (Theta had no money), eager for him to get it right. 

They hadn’t really discussed where they were going to get them, but ended up deciding to go in the most obvious place, on the inside of their wrists. 

Theta hadn’t thought much about the trouble they would probably get into, but she thought, what were they going to do? Make them take them off? 

Theta happily went first, more than willing to be the test subject. If that meant Koschei’s was more precise and refined than hers, then that was fine. Good, even. 

It wasn’t a pleasant experience, but Theta had known worse pains. She watched, interested in the way this man moved and how steady his hand was. 

Theta’s hands weren’t steady. 

Although she was pretty sure they used to be, before Torvic. 

“There you are.” The man pulled back and Theta took her arm away, grinning widely at her tattoo.

“Thank you.” She smiled at it. “I love it. It’s exactly what I imagined.”

Now, permanently on her wrist, was the circular Gallifreyan for ‘butterfly’. Inside, was a scene of gentle red fields, a sunrise overlooking them. She knew it was sunrise, because the suns always rose just over the mountain range, which she’d also made sure was depicted in the drawing. 

The colours were a colder palette of oranges and pinks, merging into bright purples, that she’d only ever seen when she’d seen the Lights of the Other. Whilst Theta loved her home, she’d wanted the colours to be cooler, and less obnoxious. She did get incredibly sick of browns and musky oranges. 

Koschei looked at her wrist, before excitedly swapping places with her. 

Theta ran her fingers over the skin as gently as possible, eager not to disrupt it. It was everything she could’ve wanted, and set a warmth in her stomach that Theta could only identify as how she felt when she thought about Koschei. 

She glanced up and watched him. Koschei was looking at his wrist with a small smile on his face, and Theta was pretty sure she’d never wanted to spend the rest of her lives with him as much as she did right in that moment. 

She took his hand, and he glanced at her.

“What?” He asked, catching the look on her face. 

“Nothing.” She smiled. “Don’t worry.” 

“Ok, I won’t.” He scoffed, turning back to his wrist. 

“There.” The man pulled away from his arm and Koschei took it back, grinning widely. 

“Thank you.” He smiled, sparing the man a quick glance before jumping off the chair, brandishing his wrist at Theta. 

“It’s perfect.” She smiled. 

Koschei’s was almost identical to hers, with the same word and the same red fields inside of it. But it was clearly sunset, as the silhouette of the Academy was in the background. The colours in his were darker, with rich purples and a sort of maroon. 

“Do you like it?” Theta asked, glancing up at him. 

“Yeah. I do.” He smiled. “I love them a lot.”

-

They got in a huge amount of trouble. They were put in afterhourless for a month, and told that they had to cover them up at all times. 

They didn’t care though. 

Their classmates were more intrigued by the fact that they even got tattoos, over what they actually meant. 

“You’ve got balls, I’ll give you that.” Pewthru peered at Theta’s wrist. “But was it really worth it?”

“Yup.” She nodded. “Afterhourless isn’t that bad.”

“Well no, but a month?” He seemed to wince just at the thought. 

“They probably won’t turn up anyway.” Rethra pointed out. “It’s like the two of you like being in trouble.” 

“More interesting than keeping your head down.” Koschei shrugged. 

“You didn’t always think that, Koschei. I think Theta’s rubbed off on you.” She laughed. 

“Yeah, probably. Just a little bit.”

And then the building shuddered. 

Everyone froze, Theta shooting up and a few following. 

“What was that?” Kathla asked. 

“Sounded like a shock wave.” Theta muttered. “Which means something’s happened outside.” She swung her legs over the bench and lead a large group of people who all had the same idea, out of the dinner hall and into the courtyard outside. 

“Holy shit.” Theta’s breath caught, as Koschei took her hand. 

The teachers dorm building had caved in on itself. 

And there were Daleks everywhere. 


	55. Fifty-five

“What do we do?” Theta breathed. 

“What are they doing here??” Lareth gasped behind her. 

“Split up. We can’t all stay in one place.” Koschei said, more to himself, before he wheeled around to face the crowd. “Split up! Get to cover, and don’t stay in big groups! Go!” 

They didn’t need to be told twice. 

The younger years scarpered off in other directions, the older ones mostly staying put. 

“We’ve got to try and get some of the teachers out of that dorm.” Sanfej said, nodding towards the roof that had caved in. Koschei nodded, frowning in thought. 

“Yeah, yeah ok. Alright. Just don’t go in big clumps. Spread out.” 

They nodded, the group fanning out and beginning to speed towards the dorm. 

“What are they doing here??” Theta asked loudly, over the screaming and deafening blasts. 

“I don’t know, but they went for that dorm on purpose.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned. 

“If the professors are dead, no one can contact the Citadel. No one will know we’re in trouble. We’re sitting ducks, Theta.” He explained gravely. 

“What do we do??” She frowned deeply. 

“Got any idea what the Cardinal’s presence looks like?” 

“I can’t do that, Koschei. He’s hundreds of miles away.” 

“We might not have any other option.” Theta slowed, and Koschei turned, frowning at her. Theta grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a quick and deep kiss. 

“Be careful.” She muttered. 

“Only if you will.” He nodded, before turning to and continuing his way towards the building. She chewed on her bottom lip for a long moment, before cursing loudly and ducking into an alcove.

“Ok, ok.” She breathed out slowly, hoping to slow her hammering hearts. It didn’t really work. “Just concentrate, Theta. You can do this. It’s just like talking to Koschei.” 

Theta closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and attempting to delve into her mind. Every time she got to the border though, an explosion, or gut wrenching scream would pull her back out. 

“Come on!” She huffed. “Come on, Theta. This is important!” The young woman pulled herself deeper into the alcove, kneeling down and pressing her forehead to the cold stone.

It did well to calm her hot nerves, and she breathed out slowly, reaching out to the Cardinal. 

Theta didn’t focus on the distance between them, only on his deep red presence that she knew was there. The building shuddered around her and Theta was almost ripped back out of her head painfully, but she latched onto her presence, and refused to let go. 

“Come on.” She whispered. “Please. Come on, where are you?” And there it was. Walls up, shielded, and impossible to get into without permission. 

Theta had never tried to talk to someone with walls up before. 

She was glad she’d listened to the part in class where it had been explained how to ask permission. 

“Contact.” She whispered. There was realisation, hesitation, before the Cardinal partially lowered his walls. 

“..Theta? What are-“

“No time to explain. The Daleks have attacked the Academy. We need help.” There was a small pause. 

“I’m on my way.” 

Theta wrenched her way out of her head, stumbling up and out with a splitting headache.

“Ah! Jesus- fuck me.” She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. “Ok, no time for headache. People to save.” Theta opened her eyes again, shaking off the feeling the best she could and pushing off on her back foot towards the teachers building. 

She jumped and ducked over rubble and under blasts, reaching Lareth, who was crouched in front of what looked like a little opening someone had made into the building.

“What’s going on?” She asked, putting a hand on the other girls shoulder. Lareth turned to her, rather pale. 

“We all split up around the exits to try and find the best way in. Koschei and Rethra have gone into this one, but they haven’t come out yet, and they said they wouldn’t be in there for more than two minutes at a time. I don’t know if there’s fires or smoke or-“

“Lareth, be a dear and hold this for me, would you?” She yanked off her jacket, which Lareth took, blinking in bewilderment. 

“Theta, don’t go in there! We can’t lose anyone else!”

“I’m going to come back.” She reassured, hoisting herself into the gap. “Promise. And if I don’t, you can keep my jacket.”

“Theta!” 

The blond ducked under and into the building, squinting in the darkness. The dust itched it’s way into her eyes and between her fingers, and Theta tentatively reached out into her mind for Koschei. 

All she got back was a sharp throbbing. Apparently contacting the Cardinal had taken everything out of her. 

That was fine. 

She was sure he was fine. 

Or, she hoped he was fine. 

“Anyone there?!” She called loudly. There wasn’t much of a reply. The building shook and Theta stumbled, catching herself on the wall and swallowing tightly. 

Then she heard a groan, in the room next room. Theta gasped, shooting over to the door and trying to shove it open. It didn’t budge though, and it quickly became apparent that it was jammed. 

Theta tried shoving it again, putting all of her shoulder into it. It didn’t budge. That was fine. 

Her legs always were stronger. 

Theta steadied herself on the doorframe, before slamming her foot into the door handle. Pain shot up her leg, and she swore again, before kicking harder. 

The door swung open, and Theta barrelled in, quickly catching sight of the situation in front of her. 

Her telepathy teacher, Mr Lekantha was trapped under what looked like the remains of a bookcase, and his leg was twisted badly in a way that Theta didn’t think would end very well. 

“Sir, are you ok?” She asked, hurrying over and immediately crouching, putting her arms under the bookcase. 

“Theta? What are you doing here?”

“Well, we came to get you all. Weren’t just gonna let you burn to death in here, even if you do set too much homework.” She muttered, attempting to hoist the bookcase up. She groaned in effort, getting maybe a few inches before having to drop it back down, much to her professors pain. 

“What’s going on out there?” He winced. 

“Daleks, sir. But there’s people on their way.” She tried again, huffing and clenching her jaw tightly. Her arms quivered, and she almost dropped it again, before there were arms beside her, helping her shove the bookcase back upwards. 

She glanced to her left, to see Sanfej offering her a quick smile.

“On three.” He muttered. “One, two, three!” 

The two cried in effort as they righted the bookcase, immediately taking one arm over their shoulders and dragging Mr Lekantha upward. 

“Who else have you seen?” Theta asked as they headed out of the room. 

“Pewthru’s on the outside. Kathla and Rethra are helping Mr Delathorpo.”

“I thought Rethra went in with Koschei.”

“I haven’t seen him.” He admitted. Theta frowned deeply, swallowing her nerves. 

“Where are we taking them? They can’t be much safer outside than they are in here?” 

“Lareth and Pewthru are helping them into the kitchens. They’re smaller, less of a target.” He explained, the three of them getting to the gap Theta had passed through. “Lareth, you there?”

“Yeah!” She called. Theta and Sanfej helped Mr Lekantha back through the gap, before heading back into the storm. 

“Sanfej!” Theta called, as he went in a different direction to her. “Be careful.”

“You too.” He nodded gravely, before disappearing into another room. Theta stampeded up the stairs, before wheeling backwards at the large fire, roaring at a hole in the wall. 

She coughed and spluttered, considering going back downstairs. 

Before she got the sharp tang of panic on her tongue, coming from the room two metres in front of the fire. 

“Brilliant.” She muttered, pulling down her sleeve and ripping the first third off roughly, before holding it up to her mouth and nose. 

Theta rushed forward, shooting into the room that was thankfully, not jammed or locked. She threw the door shut behind her, surveying the room. 

Her geography teacher, Mrs Ethanojik, was sat, propped up against the wall with a gaping hole in her side. 

“Holy shit.” She whispered. “Miss!” 

Her professor glanced up, holding a hand out. 

“Theta, stay away. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me, what do you mean?” Theta frowned, eager to try and help however she could. 

“I-“ Mrs Ethanojik didn’t have time to finish though, as suddenly, a huge blast of golden energy shot from every limb. 

Theta jumped backwards, covering herself the best she could as she watched, in awe and fear, as the woman in front of her grew shorter hair, lighter skin and got thinner. 

Theta had never seen a regeneration before. 

It looked beautiful. 

And horrendously painful. 

The light died and Theta stepped forward hesitantly. 

“Miss?” She asked quietly. “Are you ok?” 

Mrs Ethanojik opened her eyes slowly, glancing down at her new body as she stumbled upright slightly. 

“Ah-“ she winced, before nodding. “Yes, Fine. Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

Theta nodded, following her Geography teacher back down the stairs and towards the gap. Theta went to turn back up a corridor, after she’d explained to her elder where to go, but Mrs Ethanojik held out a hand, and grabbed her wrist. 

“Theta? Come with me.”

“Sorry miss, got to make sure there’s no one else in here.”

“Absolutely not, I forbid it.”

“Like that’s going to stop me.” Theta pulled her wrist out of her grip and hurried up a new corridor. 

She headed down a tight hall, listening and feeling for anyone nearby. 

Theta got a hint of something and stopped, frowning as she tried to figure out what it was. 

And then the ceiling creaked above her. 

Theta glanced up a second too late, watching the upper floor give way. 

“Fu-“

Someone grabbed her by the arm, yanking her out of the way and into them. Theta stumbled, gasping as an arm wrapped around her and she steadied herself on a chest. 

She glanced up, relief flooding her body. 

“You ok?” Koschei asked. Theta frowned, noticing a gash on her face.

“Fine. You?”

“Scraped, but good. I can’t find anyone else.”

“No, neither. We should get out of here, before this whole place comes down.” Theta pushed away from him, beginning their way back towards the gap. 

“Hang on!” Koschei grabbed her wrist, holding a finger up between them. “Listen.”

Theta tried to stop panting, listening intently. And then she heard it, a grunt of a struggle coming from the room behind them. 

Koschei turned, making his way quickly over to the door and jamming his shoulder into it. It didn’t budge. 

He pulled back, nodding at her. 

“You’re stronger than me.” 

Theta nodded, replacing him and wrapping one hand around the door handle. She rolled her shoulder once, cracked her neck, and slammed her body weight into it. 

The door broke off of one hinge, swinging open and revealing a very stunned Borusa, who had clearly been trying to do the same from the other side. 

“Hi.” She smiled. 

“How did you do that?” He blinked. 

“I like to climb. Come on.” She turned and hurried past Koschei, leading the two of them back towards the gap. Turning the corner though, the three of them found, with sickening dread, that the gap had closed up. 

“Bollocks.” Theta muttered. 

“No, I got this.” Koschei grabbed her hand and lead them quickly up the stairs. They ducked under a burnt doorframe, into a room that Theta knew as the boiler room. “They’re all in the same place, in every building.” He explained. 

“Have I ever told you I love it when you’re intelligent?” She asked, and Koschei shrugged, lacing his fingers together. 

“You must be loving it a lot, cuz it’s kind of a constant thing.” 

She scoffed, stepping onto his hands and taking the pin from her hair, jamming it into the skylight lock. 

“You two do this a lot, then?” Borusa raised an eyebrow as Theta picked it, throwing it open and hoisting herself out. 

“What gave you that impression?” She laughed, putting her foot in the other side of the frame for leverage and holding out a hand for Koschei. He took it, pulling himself up onto the crumbling roof. 

“Look like you could do it with your eyes closed.” Borusa muttered, the two of them heaving him up onto the rooftop after them. 

“We’ve got to move fast, we’re basically targets at a shooting range stood up here.”

Koschei muttered and Theta nodded, standing and glancing around. 

“Follow me.” She ordered, and Koschei nodded, a silent reassurance that he would keep up. 

Borusa, was another matter. 

She started off towards the edge of the building, avoiding what looked like the weakest points and hopping over gaps. 

Theta stepped wrong once and the ceiling gave out beneath her. She yelped, but Koschei immediately had a vice grip on her wrist, hoisting her back up, with Borusa acting as his weight to keep him planted on the ground. 

“Be careful.” He tried to scowl at her, but It didn’t quite work, because of the concern taking up the space in his eyes. Theta nodded, shooting him a quiet apology with her own, before continuing her way to the edge. 

When she got there, she frowned. 

The gap between buildings was small enough, for her at least. 

Still, it was too late to go back now. 

Theta leapt across, wheeling on her heel and watching Koschei hop his way across too. 

Borusa glanced down, frowning at them. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He muttered. 

“Do it!” Theta held out a hand. “We’ll catch you!”

The three of them ducked as a blast shot over their heads. 

“We’ve been noticed.” Koschei muttered. 

“No time like the present, sir!” Theta encouraged. Borusa groaned, before doing a little run up and leaping across. 

Theta and Koschei grabbed an arm each when he started to fall back again, the two of them pulling him safely onto the next roof. 

Theta stood, arms and legs on fire and breaths coming out heaving for a long moment, glancing over at Koschei to see him doing the same. 

“We’ve got to keep going.” She muttered. “Come on.”


	56. Fifty-six

They got down to the ground through the building, Theta glancing out to see if their path was relatively clear. 

“Where are we going?” Borusa asked. 

“The kitchens. It’s where we took the rest of the professors.” Theta muttered. “Ok, come on!” 

The three of them took off across campus, sticking as close to the ground as possible and as near to buildings as they could. 

Theta stopped dead when a shot rang about four inches from her face, before swallowing tightly, breathing out sharply and continuing. 

The three of them spotted Lareth from where she was stood at the door, ushering anyone in that she could see. 

The other girl spotted them and beckoned them over quickly, so they hurried over, Theta pushing Borusa and Koschei in before her. 

“You ok?” She asked Lareth, who nodded. 

“Yeah, are you all?”

“Yep. Sorry though, gonna need my jacket back.”

Lareth rolled her eyes fondly. 

“Get inside Theta.”

“Yes ma’am.” She followed Koschei into the kitchen. 

It was a sorry sight. 

Professors and students were propped up or lying on the ground, bleeding and bruised and in some cases, what looked like dead. Others were knelt over them, putting pressure on the wounds, or trying to bandage wounds up with the first aid kits people had clearly been running around the Academy collecting. 

There was crying and people holding onto others tightly, some trembling and some stood, eyes glazed over and silent tears running down their cheeks. 

Theta turned to Koschei, pulling him aside. 

“Here, let me help with that cut on your cheek.” She turned his face to her gently, and he sighed. 

“It can wait, Theta.”

“No it’s-“ a wave of nausea threw itself over Theta, and she blinked slowly, groaning as she steadied herself on the wall. 

“Theta, what’s wrong?” She felt a hand on her arm and her back, but the feeling was overwhelming, and she turned to press her forehead on the wall again. 

“Too much.” She mumbled. “It’s too much.”

“What is?”

“People..hurting. I can’t put my walls back up.”

“What? Why not?”

“Told..told the Cardinal and it..it took too much out of me.” She explained through three forced breaths. She felt like she was going to be sick. 

Koschei was quiet for a moment, and Theta was sure if she wasn’t so overwhelmed, she would be able to feel him trying to think of something to do. 

“Ok. Ok. So, maybe we go somewhere else. Somewhere with less people.”

Theta didn’t reply, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to clear her head and put her walls back up. 

Her presence was all over the place, doing calculations and keeping down terror and trying to literally be in seventy different places at once. Theta focused on pulling it back together for just a moment, and rigging up the walls again. It took a lot of effort, and she could feel the fatigue in her limbs start to set in, when a sharp shot of something injected itself into her mind. 

Help. 

Someone needed help. 

Well, yeah, a lot of people did need help, she thought. All in this room. But this one wasn’t in the room, she explained to herself. How did she know that, she wondered. She just did, she assured herself. She had to go. 

Theta shoved herself away from the wall, shaking her head and turning to Koschei. 

“I’ve got to go.” 

“What?” He frowned. “Theta, no, you’re in no state to go anywhere.”

“Someone needs help. Outside.”

“Then someone else can go. I’ll go.” He reassured. Theta shook her head again, frowning despite the ache it left between her brows. 

“No. It’ll be quicker if I go. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that though, Theta.” He sighed deeply, clearly aware of the fact that he wasn’t about to change her mind on this. 

“Just did, didnt I?” She pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips, before squeezing his hands. “I’m coming back.”

“Ok,” he nodded. “I believe you.”

“Stay safe.” She said softly. 

“Only if you do.”

“Top of my list, promise.” She grinned, before barrelling her way out of the room and back towards the entrance. 

“Theta? Where are you going?” Lareth called as she bolted from the building. 

“You’d better not ruin my jacket! Even if I do die, I will be pissed!” She called, before ducking into an alcove as a shot rang a metre to her left. “Fuck me,” she muttered. “Where are you guys? We’re sitting ducks here.”

A part of her wondered why the Dalek’s were even there, since there wasn’t a war on, but she supposed this was more the beginning of another. The Time Wars were famous for not actually sorting out any of the disputes between the Dalek’s and the Time Lords, so Theta supposed it had really been just a matter of time before they attacked again. And where better to go for, than the future of the Time Lord race themselves. 

Theta skirted around the building, ducking into the dining hall. She wasn’t sure where she was going, only trusting her gut. As usual. 

“Hello?” She called. Theta heard no reply, apart from a sniffle under the table. She slowly ducked down, eager not to scare anyone that was under there. 

A little boy, with ginger hair and freckles, who could not have been more than eight years old, was shaking, knees pulled up to his chest and eyes blown wide with terror. 

Theta had no idea how he’d gotten to Upper, since it was a pretty long way, but that was a question for another day. Part of her was sick with worry, wondering how many poor little eight year olds had made it out. 

“Hey,” she said softly. “Hey it’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

The boy shook, lip trembling. 

“My name’s Theta. I can get you somewhere safer than in here, would you like that?” She asked gently. He nodded, after a moment of hesitation. “All the teachers are there, so someone can look after you. You’ve just got to come out from under the table.” 

The little boy swallowed tightly, before slowly shuffling out from under the table. 

“I have a sister.” He mumbled, voice wavering. “I don’t know where she is. I was looking for her.”

“Well, we can find her, yeah? She’s probably with the others.” Theta made her way over to him, gently picking him up and resting him on her hip. “Just hold on tight to me, and I’ll get you back to the others.”

He nodded, wrapping his small arms tightly around her neck as Theta glanced back outside, waiting for there to be a break in the firing. When there was, she slipped outside, keeping close to the building and hurrying around the corner. 

Theta ducked back into the alcove, taking her back to the danger for a second when there was a loud explosion. 

The child began to cry, and she glanced down at him. 

“It’s ok, almost there.” She reassured, before turning back out and skirting back around the building. 

Lareth spotted her at the door, ushering her over quickly. Theta jogged the rest of the way over, before putting the boy on the ground and taking his hand. 

“Ok, we’re alright now, let’s go find your sister.” She nodded at Lareth, who gave her a nod back, the two disappearing back inside to find his sister. 

Theta hoped she was there. She wasn’t keen to show this little child the horrors of what was in there, but if his sister was in there, surely he’d feel better. 

She glanced down at the kid, who was scanning the crowd. 

“Ianel!” Rethra shot across the room, and the kid let go of Theta’s hand to barrel his way into his, apparent sisters arms. 

She squeezed him tightly, glancing up and smiling gratefully at Theta. 

“I was so worried about you.” She said softly. Theta left them too it, glancing around the room for Koschei. When he wasn’t there, she frowned, and decided to make her way back to Lareth to see if she knew where he was. 

“Hey, have you seen Koschei?” She asked, coming back up the corridor to stand beside the blond, who nodded. 

“He came out here with me, to wait for you. But there was like, yelling or something and he went out to help people.”

Theta frowned deeply, but stayed put. He’d be fine. It was Koschei, he could look after himself. 

But as the minutes went past and the Dalek’s seemed to realise they were running out of time, their fire power increased, and Theta got more and more worried. 

The building shook and the two of them held onto one another, Theta frowning deeply. 

“Do you think we’re really safe in here?” She asked Lareth, who sighed deeply and worriedly. 

“I don’t know. I really hope so.”

“Maybe you should close the doors. Hunker down.”

“But there might still be people who need to come in.”

“They can knock, cant they?” Theta asked. 

“Yeah, but if they knock and draw the Dalek’s attention, by the time I open the door it might be too late. And I do not want to be the reason anyone dies today.”

“Alright, ok.” Theta nodded. “Just be careful.”

“Where are you going?” 

“Where do you think?” She called over her shoulder, before heading back out again. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in Koschei, she was sure he was fine. It was more, outstanding circumstances and her own fear that spurred her to go looking for him. 

She hurried across campus, with no real trajectory, dodging debris and the chaos around her. 

Then, two people ran past her. 

“Oi!” They turned. “You seen a guy? Tall, dark hair, goes by Koschei?”

“Yeah, he just helped us out of the dorms. We got stuck on different sides of a wall that came down, he said he was gonna try and get back to the kitchens a different way around.” One of them explained quickly. Theta nodded, turning and glancing over her shoulder at them. 

“Thank you!” 

She hurried around the building, hoping to catch him coming the long way around. Theta slipped around a corner, and glanced down the long stretch in front of her. 

At the same time, Koschei rounded the corner at the end of the stretch, blinking at her once, before frowning. It was clear he wanted to know why she was still out there. 

Then, up above, they heard the roaring sound of an engine, and Theta glanced up. 

In the sky, and coming in fast, were hundreds of ships from the Citadel, already readying their guns. 

She looked back down at Koschei, who was wearing the same grin on his face that Theta could feel on her own. 

It was finally about to be all over. 

And then there was a shot, and the wall besides them exploded. 

Theta stumbled, coughing up dust and squinting to protect her eyes the best she could. 

Koschei wasn’t where he’d been a few seconds ago. 

Theta raced forwards, hurdling the rubble and dust to get to the other side, where her eyes widened. 

Koschei was sprawled on the ground, and by the looks of things, some flying debris had taken a good chunk out of his abdomen. 

“Fuck.” Theta muttered. She made her way around to his front, grabbing him by the armpits and dragging him over to another wall, giving him cover the best she could. 

Koschei groaned in pain, and Theta dropped to her knees beside him, ripping off the fabric from her other sleeve and bunching it up. 

“It’s ok,” she promised emptily, pressing down on the wound with the cloth. “You’ll be ok. Just hang on, Kos.” 

Possibilities ran through her mind at light speed. She’d never make it back to the kitchen with him like this. They’d be spotted, and Koschei would probably bleed out before they got there. 

But she had to do something, no one knew they weren’t coming back. 

Theta squeezed her eyes shut, forcing out a deep breath and using up what she was sure was the last of her energy. 

“Contact.” She whispered. 

Borusa started, confused and surprised. 

“Theta?”

“Send someone, please. We’re outside of the dorm room.”

She yanked herself back out of her mind, forcing down a cry at the splitting headache. 

She couldn’t pass out. She needed to keep the pressure. 

“Koschei, don’t close your eyes.” She said firmly. “Look at me, come on.” 

Koschei groaned, looking at her with what seemed like miles of effort. 

“You’re ok. You’re gonna be fine.” She said softly. 

“You can’t promise that.” He mumbled, putting a hand over hers. 

“I just did.” She tried not to let him pull her hand away, but he did, leaving only one to push on the wound. Koschei pulled her bloody hand to his lips, before giving it the weakest squeeze Theta had ever known. 

It broke her hearts. 

“I love you.” He mumbled. 

“I know.” She said softly. “I love you...too. And..an we’re both going to be ok.” 

“Ok,” Koschei let his eyes close, and Theta’s head swam. “I believe you.” 

“No...” She mumbled, swaying. “Kos’..don’t..close your...”

And Theta blacked out. 


	57. Fifty-seven

Everything ached. 

That was the first thing Theta realised. 

The second, was that she had no idea where Koschei was. 

She shot up, sucking in a deep gasp, body screaming at her to lie back down. 

“Theta, hey, take it easy.” Her wild eyes found Borusa’s, who was sat next to her bed. 

Her bed. She was in a bed. 

Where was she? What was going on? How did she get here?

“Wh- where am I?” She croaked, throat dry and painful. 

“You’re in the dining hall. We’ve turned it into a kind of hospital for the time being. Moved a bunch of beds from spare dorms and set them up here for the injured.”

“H-ow long have I been here?”

“Three days.”

“The Daleks?”

“They’re gone. For now, retreated to inevitably plan another attack. We’re about to enter another war, but we’ll be ok. We have armed ships and men outside of the Academy at all times.” He explained slowly. 

“How many are dead?” 

He sighed, glancing down at his lap, and then back up. 

“At the moment, it’s looking close to two hundred.” 

Theta winced, running a hand down her face. 

“Fuck.” She muttered. 

“I know. But we all did all that we could, and we saved a lot of lives.” She didn’t reply, and Borusa paused for a long time. “Now, Theta, I have a question for you. Because when you contacted me, when you were outside the library-“

“The library.” Theta’s head shot back up. “Koschei.” She whispered, snapping her head back to him. “Where is Koschei? I need to see him.”

“Theta, you’re not in the state to go anywhere.” Borusa tried as she swung her legs out of her bed, stumbling upwards. Theta had to suppress a cry at the pain shooting through the very fibre of her being, and as soon as she was upright, her head began to swim again. 

She stumbled slightly, and Borusa stood up, steadying her. 

“Theta, lie back down.”

“No.” She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head in a desperate attempt to clear it. “I have to see Koschei.” 

She had to know he was ok. She’d promised that he’d be alright, she’d told herself she wouldn’t pass out, that she needed to keep the pressure. If she had passed out, and the pressure was released, how much blood had he lost? Had he bled out? How long had it taken the others to find them? How long had he been lying there, with blood pouring from his body? 

“Theta-“

“Where is he?” She grabbed him by the shoulders, inadvertently using him as a way to stay upright. “Take me to him, right now.” 

“If I do, you have to come straight back and lie down, ok?”

“Yes, fine, whatever.” She agreed readily, and Borusa sighed. 

“The shit I do for you two.” He turned around and began to lead Theta through the maze of beds. She followed, limbs aching and mind swirling, but Theta tried to ignore all that. 

Glancing around, she could see hundreds of people on beds, sleeping, with bandages and people looking over them, replacing gauze or helping them sit upright. 

It was a sorry sight, but also a rather heartwarming one. 

She tried not to think about the ones who hadn’t made it. 

Borusa lead her though the dining hall, and into the room that the teachers ate in. 

“What’s this?” Theta asked. Borusa glanced back at her. 

“This is kind of like the intensive care unit.” He explained, and Theta frowned deeply in worry. That didn’t sound promising. 

Borusa lead her through people, and Theta wasn’t sure how most of them had even made it. Some were even missing limbs, and part of her wondered if limbs were replaced when people regenerated. 

Borusa lead her to the far side of the room, where he paused and glanced behind him. Theta turned back from looking at a poor twelve-year old, meeting Borusa’s eye, before glancing at the bed in front of him. 

“Koschei.” She said quietly, hurrying the best she could over to his bed, and slowly kneeling besides him. 

He was pale, and breathing shallowly. His eyes were closed, and his middle had been bandaged thoroughly. Theta had never seen him looked so fragile, and she was sure she never wanted to see it again. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, delicately wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling herself into the crook of his neck. “I should’ve don’t better.”

“What do you mean?” Borusa asked. Part of Theta was not happy he was interrupting, but since he had taken her there, she couldn’t be that angry. 

“I shouldn’t have passed out. I had to keep the pressure.” She mumbled. 

“Well, I don’t see how you can control passing out. And even when you did you still kept the pressure.”

“What?” Theta glanced up and behind her, frowning at Borusa. 

“When you fainted, you landed across his middle. Kept the pressure well enough with your body weight until we got there.” He explained. “You saved his life, Theta.”

She didn’t say anything, just turned back and hugged him again. Theta still felt like she could’ve done more. There had to be something she’d done wrong, something she could’ve done better so that he never ended up in this position. 

Koschei didn’t deserve it. After everything he’d done he didn’t deserve to be the one in intensive care. Theta would’ve happily taken his place in a heartbeat. 

“Theta, you should leave him to rest. Like you need to, as well.”

She sighed deeply, knowing he was right but incredibly reluctant to listen. 

Theta dipped down to his ear, whispering the tiniest ‘I love you’, before standing up again, admittedly wobbly. 

Borusa lead her back towards her bed, and Theta climbed back in. She wasn’t happy about having to stay put, but her aching body definitely felt some relief from it, and her presence wasn’t nearly as dizzying as it had been when she was stood up. 

“Theta, I do need to ask.” Borusa pushed again, and she sighed deeply. 

“Go on then. Get it over and done with.” 

He sat down again beside her, glancing around to check no one was listening. 

“When you contacted me, you shouldn’t have been able to do that. You weren’t supposed to be able to do that for at least another fifteen years.”

“Yeah well,” she shrugged. “Just a bit further ahead of everyone else.”

“How much further ahead?” 

Theta wasn’t sure wether to lie or not. She knew it was probably best, because she didn’t fully trust Borusa, but something about him made his interest seem so earnest. And she definitely owed him someone’s life. So, she supposed, it couldn’t hurt all that much. 

“How does...forty years sound?” She glanced up, and for some reason, he didn’t look surprised. 

“That’s quote the gap. Does anyone know?”

“No. Only Koschei.” Theta picked at her nails, which she’d realised were broken to the stump, and still had Koschei’s blood under them. 

“Do you have any idea why you’re ahead of everyone else?” He asked. Theta shook her head truthfully. 

“No, not a clue. Koschei seems to think my mind is more powerful than everyone else’s, but I reckon he’s over-exaggerating a little.” 

Borusa frowned. 

“Why does he think that?”

“Because I’m so much further ahead. And it doesn’t hurt, or anything. Well..usually. I can talk to him just fine, y’know, telepathically. It never hurts. But when I contacted you I was exhausted, and when I contacted the Cardinal he was hundreds of miles away-“

“Hang on, what?” He frowned. Theta realised she probably shouldn’t have mentioned that, but it was too late now. 

“When the teacher’s dorm collapsed, we weren’t sure anyone would get out, and we knew someone needed to tell the Citadel we were in trouble. So I told one of the Cardinals.”

“Did that hurt?”

“Like a bitch.” She admitted. Borusa only rolled his eyes at her language. 

“What kind of pain?”

“A sharp pain.” Theta shrugged. “Like I shoved a knife through my skull.”

“Not like..a wall then?” He asked carefully. Theta glanced up, frowning. 

“No, not a wall. Why?”

“Just wondering.” He shrugged. “Is there anything else strange about your telepathy?”

“Well, I didn’t do it in the right order.” Theta thought back to what seemed like eons ago. “I started sensing emotions around me first. Then I heard others thoughts, and then other presences. And then my own. I tried to go back to do it in the right order cuz I got really overwhelmed and passed out.” 

“I see.” Borusa hummed. “Have you noticed anything else, strange about yourself, Theta?”

“No,” she shrugged. “Not other than that.”

“What about your intelligence. Do you think you’re smart?” He asked, regarding her with the same look her professors gave her, that Theta could never name. 

“Yes. Very smart. Or..maybe just faster than most people.”

“Most?”

“I’m not as smart as Koschei. He’s quicker than anyone I’ve ever met. Pretty sure he always will be.” 

Borusa chuckled. 

“I’m sure he’s having a field day trying to figure you out.”

“Well, maybe one day he will.” Theta shrugged. 

“I doubt that.” Borusa hummed. 

“Why?” She asked. 

He shrugged, standing up. 

“Oh, you know. I think you’re extremely complicated, Theta. Possibly beyond understanding.”

“Thanks.” She rolled her eyes. 

“But you’re also exhausted. You should rest.” He muttered. Theta just hummed in acknowledgment, lying back and curling up away from him. 

She heard him walk away, and Theta closed her eyes. 

There were a million places she would rather be. And she was sure she wasn’t going to be able to sleep. 

Not without Koschei. 


	58. Fifty-eight

Theta sighed, climbing across the debris on the teachers dorm. Now confidently back on form, two days later, she was helping with the clean up effort. 

It was a really disconcerting, and honestly sad sight. The teachers dorm was a pile of rubble, along with one half of the students dorms and some of the classrooms. Theta’s dorm was still standing, but had been in disarray when she’d gone back to it. 

So she’d cleaned it up, before going to Koschei’s and doing the same, to make it more comfortable for him when he was up and running. 

Theta hadn’t been allowed back to see him since that morning, for reasons she didn’t quite understand but was not happy about. Still, reluctantly, she agreed, not wanting to be more of a pain to anyone during the rather testing times. 

What was more strange, were the ships constantly hovering around, and the soldiers patrolling the borders. Theta knew that they were there to protect them, but they still felt a little overbearing. 

She carried some more rubble over to the pile that was soon to be shipped to the middle of nowhere, when Theta heard a voice behind her. 

“Theta!” 

She turned, smiling a little as Rethra made her way over, brushing her hands down delicately.

“Hey, Reth’. Everything ok?” 

“Yeah- well, I guess. Considering, it could be a lot worse.” Theta nodded in understanding, Rethra bending and helping her with a large bit of what looked like wall. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Sorry, never in one place for very long.” She shrugged, and Rethra nodded, throwing the bit of debris onto the pile. 

“You’re telling me. You seem to be in ten different places at once. Which is actually what I want to thank you for. Because if you hadn’t had been, I’m not sure my little brother would have made it out.”

“It’s ok,” Theta shrugged. “How’s he doing?”

“Ok. He’s shaken, to say the least, but they’re sending all the kids from lower back home for a while, until this place gets back on its feet. So hopefully he’ll feel a little when he’s back with my parents.” 

“I hope so.” Theta smiled a little. “To be fair to him, he did the smart thing, hiding under the table. And as soon as I found him, he told me he was looking for his sister. Little guy’s got his head screwed on.” She picked up a smaller bit. “Still, guess it runs in the family.” 

Rethra laughed a little, shrugging. 

“Maybe. But, really Thee’, thank you. I owe you, big time.”

“Don’t mention it.” She reassured. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright,” the brunette nodded. “Yeah. Scraped and a little shaken, but y’know. Better off than a lot of people.”

“That’s true.” Theta considered. “We’re the lucky ones.”

“Mm.” Rethra acknowledged. “Although, I heard you ended up injured. Koschei got hurt, and you dragged him over to a wall or something. Got injured but managed to keep the pressure till the others got there?”

“Something like that.” Theta nodded. “I passed out, but I kinda fell in a way that kept the pressure. More, luck than anything else really.”

“How is he?” She asked, throwing more rubble onto the pile. Theta sighed. 

“He’s ok, last I heard. Still in intensive care, but I’m not allowed to see him.” 

“Mm. It’s the same with me. I’ve been trying to see Sanfej since it happened.” Theta turned, frowning deeply. 

“What happened to Sanfej?”

“You didn’t hear?” Rethra frowned, “his whole arm got crushed. It’s a miracle it wasn’t amputated. He had to have regeneration energy and everything.” 

“I had no idea.” Theta admitted quietly. She had been trying to check up on everyone she knew as the days went on, but in the chaos, they had proved very difficult to track down. 

“He’ll be up soon though, I think.” Rethra smiled hopefully. Theta considered it for a moment. 

“You should ask him out.” She said bluntly. Rethra spluttered, turning a deep shade of red. 

“Wha- wh- why would I do that??”

“Because you’ve had a crush on him since we were thirty, he feels the same way and the rest of us want to throttle you both every time we see you dodging around it?” She grinned, and Rethra glanced at the floor, obviously very embarrassed. 

“Do...do you really think he feels the same way?” 

“He does. Everyone knows it.” Theta shrugged. The other girl sighed deeply, frowning before glancing up at her. 

“But, is it really worth it? I mean- y’know, relationships. I mean- really, they’re frowned upon. If you’re caught kissing you could be kicked out of the Academy. It’s illegal to have sex, and anyway, children are made on looms, so what’s the point?”

“Love,” Theta threw some rubble over her shoulder, in exchange for looking at Rethra. “Besides, rules are made to be broken.”

“Even laws?” Rethra giggled, like it was something scandalous. 

“Some laws.” Theta nodded. 

“Is it exciting? What you and Koschei have? Do you..break laws?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” She scoffed. “We’re kids, what’s the worst that can happen? Relationships are fun, they’re something to ease the boredom of living at this stinking place for a hundred years.” She jumped off of the pile, and Rethra followed her delicately. 

“And do you love Koschei?” She asked, following Theta, who was walking backwards, over to another pile. 

“Oh yeah. Big time.” She grinned. “Trust me, Reth’, it’s worth it. Besides, you owe me. So what you can do for me is, when he wakes up, go ask Sanfej out, and break some rules.” 

“Alright, fine.” She grinned. “But if it goes wrong I’ll be coming for your neck.”

“And I will happily accept my death. But I’m not wrong. Never have been.” She teased. Rethra smiled, rolling her eyes. 

“We will see about that.”

-

Theta prodded at her food, and shifted on the large rock she was sat on. She wasn’t all that hungry, and if she was honest the smell was making her a little nauseous. 

So she sighed and stood back up. She didn’t want to waste it, so she called down one of the younger kids who she knew hadn’t eaten yet, promised him she hadn’t touched it, and told him not to waste any. The kid was surprised, but thankful, and sat down to tear hungrily into the bread. 

Theta left him to it and went for a wander. 

She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with herself on her breaks. If she could’ve, Theta would’ve just worked without them, but she was on strict orders to not overwork herself, like she had apparently made a habit of doing, and she didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, so she followed the order. 

Theta rounded a corner, frowning as she came to see a small group of people she knew, peering over something. Theta made her way over, not wanting to intrude, but curiosity inevitably getting the best of her. 

Lareth, Kathla, Pewthru and Borusa were peering over a huge sheet of parchment, pointing at things and discussing. 

“What’s going on?” Theta asked, Lareth glancing up and offering her a small smile. Borusa looked up at her as they let her into the small circle. 

“Our pipe system has been destroyed. We’re working out the best way to get the water from our reservoir, here, whilst filtering it out, in large masses.” 

Theta glanced down at the paper, which looked to be a large blueprint of the pipe system they’d previously had. 

“But, we’re working it out.” Kathla smiled at her. 

“Yeah, aren’t you on your lunch break, Theta?” Pewthru asked, in a tone that very clearly told her they were trying not to hurt her feelings. 

“Oh, I wasn’t hungry. I can help if you guys need it.” She offered. 

“I think we’ve got it.” Kathla smiled warmly. 

“Hey,” Borusa frowned disapprovingly, “Theta can help. Extra mind is nothing bad.” 

He shot her a glance, that she held for a moment, before shooting it back down to the blueprint. 

“So, why are you looking at these?” She asked. 

“Well, to figure out how to fix them. Or divert it.” Pewthru explained, pointing to the parts clearly labelled to be broken. Theta resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Hang on,” she frowned, glancing up at the four of them. “So you’re not trying to set up a temporary one until we can get this one back up? Shouldn’t that be your first priority?”

“At the moment, we’ve got people carrying bucket loads to and from the reservoir. Which, I’ll admit, isn’t ideal.” Borusa sighed. Theta frowned. 

“Could we buy enough piping to rebuild the whole system, in time?” She asked, directing the question at the only adult. 

“Well, yes. But it could take a while to get it all here.”

“That’s fine,” Lareth nodded at her. “As long as we have a good enough temporary one.” 

“But how are we supposed to do that?” Pewthru asked with a frown. “It would have to be a pretty good temporary system.”

“Well,” Theta pointed to the undamaged pipes. “What if we took out the undamaged parts, used that to siphon the water to a point closer to the Academy, so we don’t have to walk as far to get it? If we dedicated one or two days with everyone working on it, we could get it up and running.”

“It still wouldn’t be drinkable.” Kathla pointed out. “How would we filter it?” 

Theta frowned for a moment, chewing her lip in thought. She could feel Borusa’s eyes on her. 

“What are the pipes made of?” Theta glanced up, and he smiled at her. Suddenly, she got the impression that Borusa had figured this out ages ago. Like he was testing them. Or her, Theta wasn’t sure. 

“Petrium.” He said shortly. A metal. Perfect. 

“So we heat the pipes.” She shrugged. “Not enough to damage them but enough to boil the water inside, and burn out the harmful shit.” 

“But then we’ve just got steam.” Pewthru pointed out. 

“So we get a condenser.” Lareth added, grinning at Theta. “They’re easy to make. The four of us could have one up and running before the end of the day. We stick one at the end, and we’ve got drinkable water.” 

“Very, very good work, you four.” Borusa nodded. “I’m impressed. You leave this with me, I’ll get the planning permission from Delathorpo. We’ll start tomorrow.” 

The four of them nodded, Lareth leading Kathla and Pewthru away explaining in intricate detail, how to make a condenser. Borusa turned away, walking back towards the school building with the blueprints slung under his arm. 

“Sir!” Theta jogged after him, and he waited knowingly for her to catch up. 

“Can I help you, Theta?”

“Are you testing me?” She asked. 

“Well, something’s got to exercise that brain.” He shrugged, turning again to walk away. This time, Theta didn’t follow him, only frowning after the man. 

She was tempted to follow Lareth and help build the condenser, but she got the feeling they’d manage without her. 

Theta felt a little better, giving herself something to do, and people to help. She’d decided that she really liked it, helping people. It made her feel like she wasn’t as bad a person and she often thought she was. That maybe she deserved some of the good luck she had. 

It gave her a purpose, gave her a reason to keep pushing forward, and not look back. 

Theta hated looking back. Looking back meant facing who she was, all the awful things she’d done and the parts of her that she feared. If she could just keep moving forward, keep running, then she never had to look at them. That sounded like the best plan she could think of. 

She’d just keep helping people. She’d just keep making herself feel a little better. And maybe one day she’d be able to forgive herself. 


	59. Fifty-nine

Theta straightened, huffing out a breath. Her back was aching, and her shirt was stuck to her skin with sweat, but she was no different to anyone else. 

Everyone had been working on the pipe system for the last day and half, and it was almost done. Apparently though, the suns had decided to beat extra hard that day, and left all of them out of breath and smelling. 

Theta winced, putting a hand to her back and stretching, hearing it click. 

“You doing ok, Thee’?” Pewthru asked, glancing up from where he was stood in the ditch. She nodded. 

“Yeah. I’m good.” She bent down to take her shovel up again, but Pewthru shot her a glance. 

“Remember, you’re not supposed to be pushing yourself. If you need a break, take a break.”

“No, I’m ok. Really. The more hands we’ve got, the quicker we can finish this and all go home.” Theta picked up the shovel and started digging again. 

She felt tired, and her limbs were aching, but Theta didn’t want to excuse herself. She was sure everyone else was feeling the same way, so Theta would keep working with them, until it was done. 

If she was honest, it was more how boring the work was that was getting to her. She was just digging in a line for the pipe to be laid, and it gave her plenty of time to think. 

Unsurprisingly, most of her thoughts revolved around Koschei. 

He’d been in intensive care for three and a half days at that point, and Theta didn’t even know if he was awake. 

She hoped he was, and she hoped he was alright without her. She hoped the drumming wasn’t too loud. 

They finished the piping at sunset. Theta helped set up the condenser with Lareth, and the two walked back to campus together, in tired but comfortable silence. 

Theta skipped dinner, choosing instead to go and take a long, cold shower. She pushed her hair from her face and closed her eyes, standing in the stream and sighing. 

She was exhausted. Not just physically, her mind was aching. Sometimes Theta felt like she had lives crammed into one body, like her mind had lived so much longer than her limbs. And god, was her mind tired. 

Theta wondered, if she didn’t get nightmares, and if she wouldn’t have been disturbed, how long she would sleep for without waking up. 

It sounded like bliss. 

But Theta didn’t have time for sleeping. She had things to do, people to help. 

There was a knock on her door, and Theta groaned, turning off the shower. 

“Coming!” She called, sighing deeply. For once, Theta would have liked to have been left alone. But the universe was never that kind. 

She wrapped a towel around herself, pushed her hair back from her forehead and opened the door, with probably a bit more force than necessary. 

“By the gods Theta, cover your neck!” Borusa scolded. Theta groaned loudly, closing the door loudly in his face and dropped the towel. She quickly pulled on some clothes and a large shirt that she was about seventy percent sure was not hers, before pushing her wet hair back from her face again and throwing open the door. 

“What?” She huffed. 

“You know if anyone ever knew I’d seen your neck and collarbones, I’d lose my job.” He muttered disapprovingly. She shrugged. 

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone about knowing Koschei and I skip class by going out the boiler room, or that I’m forty years ahead of everyone else in my telepathy.”

“Deal.” He nodded. 

“What can I do for you?” She crossed her arms over her chest, and realised she should probably take a brush to her hair before it dried. Still, her hair could wait if whatever Borusa had for her was important enough. 

“I think I’ve got something that’ll get you out of your bad mood.” He turned on his heel, expecting her to follow. Theta huffed, closing the door behind her and following. 

“My moods fine.”

“Alright, funk then.” He glanced back at her, before looking down. “You’re not wearing shoes.” 

“Nope.” She nodded. 

“Don’t you want to go put some on?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Nope.”

He sighed. 

“Do you ever get tired of doing things for the sole purpose of not wanting to follow rules?” 

“No, because that’s not why I do most things. I like walking bare foot because it makes me feel close to nature, and helps me to stay grounded.” She explained, following him across campus. It was cold, considering the hot day they’d just had, so Theta wrapped her arms around herself, hopping across the grass as Borusa only shook his head in what could almost be described as paternal disappointment. 

“Where are we going?” She asked, but Borusa didn’t reply as he lead her into the main school building. 

Theta glanced around into the classrooms that were currently being unused, teaching wise. Instead, they were filled with students eating their dinner, who had been relocated since the dining hall was being used as a hospital ward. 

“Have you just taken me to get some dinner, cuz I’m really not hungry.” She muttered absently, more a quip to herself than Borusa. Which he seemed to get, because he didn’t answer again. 

Theta was lead to a classroom at the end of the corridor, and Borusa opened the door, gesturing for her to go inside. 

Theta sighed, making her way past him and scanning the room. 

It was just the others. Lareth, Rethra, Sanfej, who’d been allowed out the day before, Pewthru, Kathla, and Koschei. 

Wait.

“Koschei!” 

He stumbled upright just in time, for when Theta threw herself at him, almost knocking him straight off of his feet. 

“Woah, steady darling, don’t knock me flat on my ass.” He scoffed, wrapping her arms tightly around her. 

Theta squeezed him tightly, a deep breath and the tension from every inch of her body releasing immediately. 

“I was so worried about you.” She mumbled into his shoulder, and he squeezed again, pressing a kiss to her wet hair. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” He said softly, and then he paused. “..are you wearing my shirt?” 

Theta didn’t reply, only pulling back to look him in the eye. She checked over his face, and his presence for any signs of hurt or anguish. She found none though, and Theta had never been more relieved. 

She grabbed either side of his face and kissed him once, then twice, before pulling back and wrapping her arms securely around his middle, but not tight enough to hurt where she knew he was still healing. 

“You’re an asshole.” She muttered. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said softly. “Why didn’t you come to dinner?”

“I wasn’t hungry.” Theta was vaguely aware that at least six pairs of eyes were on them, but she really could not have cared less in that moment. “Why didn’t you let me know you were alright when you woke up?” She glanced up, attempting a half hearted scowl. 

“Still healing.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Fair enough.” Theta resigned herself to holding onto his middle again. 

Borusa cleared his throat. 

“He’s still healing, and neither of you forget it. No running around or climbing or doing anything stupid. Got it?”

“Got it.” Theta grumbled, unhappy that he was interrupting, but grateful for taking her there in the first place. 

“We won’t do anything.” Koschei reassured. “Thanks, sir. For listening to her babbling all the way here.” He grinned, and Theta glanced up with a huff. 

“Hey!”

“Honestly,” Borusa sighed. “I don’t know why I help you two as much as I do. You don’t deserve me.” And he rolled his eyes, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. 

Theta frowned, glancing down at his side. 

“Does it hurt?” She asked. 

“A little, but it’s not too bad. I just need to let the stitches heal properly, then I’ll be ok.”

“But, do you have to still stay in the dining hall?”

“No, I can come back to mine. I just can’t help with any of the labour I’ve heard you’re all doing.” 

“That’s ok.” She reassured, putting her head back on his chest. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

“I am. Thanks to you, apparently.”

-

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” She frowned.

“No, you’re fine, I promise. I’ll tell you if it hurts.” Koschei reassured, opening his arms out to her. Theta gently curled up into his side, yawning and letting Koschei sweep some hair out of her face. 

“So, you passed out, landed on me, and kept the pressure on my side with your bodyweight, alone?” He repeated. Theta nodded. 

“Yeah. More luck than anything else.” She hummed, wrapping an arm around his middle and rubbing his shoulder with her thumb. 

“But why did you pass out?” He asked. 

“Well, I had to tell Borusa we were out there, cuz no one knew. I guess that on top of speaking to the Cardinal just took too much out of me.”

“I’ll say, you did really well Theta. You contacted and spoke to two real time lords, one of which was hundreds of miles away. That’s incredible.” 

“It didn’t feel incredible.” She considered. “But, when I woke up, Borusa asked me how I did it, and I had to tell him I was ahead of everyone else.” 

Koschei hummed, frowning slightly. 

“What did he say?”

“He didn’t seem surprised. He just asked me if I knew why and stuff. I don’t think he’s going to tell anyone though.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He knocked on my door when I was having a shower and he accidentally saw my whole neck and collarbones. So he won’t tell anyone anything unless he wants to lose his job.” She shrugged. 

“Theta, what? How did he even see that?” Koschei frowned. 

“I just forgot, cuz I was annoyed. It was my fault really, but I just got comfortable with not having to worry about it in here.” 

Koschei sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“You need to be more careful with things like that. You could get in serious trouble.”

“I know, but I’ll remember next time. Besides, it all worked out, didn’t it? Now we don’t have to worry about him anymore.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” He sighed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Good to know you’ve been doing well without me, my dear.” 

“Hardly,” she scoffed, curling up tighter into his side in an attempt to bring herself impossibly closer. “I missed you so much. I was so worried.”

“I know.” He ran his fingers slowly through her hair, trying to gently untangle the knots Theta had never gotten around to brushing out. “But you know I would have told you I was ok if I could’ve.”

“I know.” She agreed, closing her eyes. 

“You should sleep, you’re exhausted.” Koschei pointed out, and Theta nodded. 

“I love you Kos’. So much.”

“I love you too Theta.” His hands moved from her hair to her shoulder blades, where he began to trace the gentle curves of a butterfly. 

Theta smiled against his chest, and finally slept well.


	60. Sixty

“How’s it looking?” She asked, coming to stand next to Lareth, and planting her hands on her hips. 

“Well, it works.” The other shrugged. “You did well, Theta, coming up with that.”

“Thank you.” She said. “Wasn’t all me though, you came up with the condenser.”

“I filled in the gaps.” Lareth smiled. “If it’s any consolation Thee’, I think people majorly underestimate you. I know a lot of people think you’re not very smart, but you are. I think the others can see that now. If one good thing has come out of this, it’s given you a chance to prove them wrong.” 

“Thanks Lareth.” Theta considered, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’d take being underestimated over all of this any day though.” 

“No, of course.” She sighed deeply. “But, we did well. We saved a lot of people, Theta. That’s got to count for something.”

“It does.” Theta nodded a little. “I just wonder if it’s enough.” 

“Enough for what?” 

“I don’t know.” She admitted, after a pause. “Enough so that I can sleep at night? Or maybe that’s selfish.” 

“I don’t think it is.” Lareth shook her head. “I know the feeling. Perhaps it’ll go in time.” 

“I hate to break it to you Lareth, but it doesn’t.” She turned away from the pipe system and Lareth, stepping up and over a pile of debris and continuing her way towards the school building. 

Theta spared a glance into an alcove, smiling a little. 

Rethra and Sanfej were sharing what looked clumsy enough to be their first kiss. 

Theta hoped it worked out. She hoped they were happy.

She only wished their first kiss was in better circumstances. 

Maybe there was more than one good thing to come out of this. It was still a very short list though. 

Theta made her way into the school building, slipping and ducking past the load of people in the corridors, some from the Academy and some from the citadel. 

She walked down to a particular classroom, knocking and opening the door after a moment. 

Borusa glanced up, from where he’d been talking to Mr Delathorpo. 

“Theta? Can I help you?” He asked, almost tiredly. 

“Sorry sir. Didn’t realise you were busy. It can wait.” She apologised, moving to close the door again. 

“Hey, just wait outside. I’ll be done in a moment.” 

“Yes sir.” She nodded, closing the door behind her and leaning back against the wall. Theta sighed, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes, rubbing. 

She never thought she’d say it, but really, Theta wanted things to go back to normal. 

She was very tired of having to be in so many places at one. 

Borusa stepped outside again, and she dropped her hands. He turned on his heel, gesturing for her to walk with him. So Theta did. 

“What’s up, Theta?”

“I just wondered if you knew what kind of time we’d be looking at to get this place up and running again?” She asked. He shot her a look. 

“What? To figure out how much freedom you’ve got left?”

“No,” she shrugged. “Just don’t like this lack of normality I guess.”

“Never thought you’d be one to say that,” he quipped. Theta didn’t reply. “At the moment, we’re looking at probably the end of the month. But really, it’ll be a gradual thing. Getting everything rebuilt and functioning again, is more like half a year.”

“Ok.” She murmured. “Thanks sir.” Theta moved to leave out of a doorway on her right, when Borusa stopped. 

“Theta! Hang on.” 

She sighed, glancing at him. 

“Yup?”

“Are you feeling alright?” He asked. 

“Just, tired sir.” It wasn’t really a lie. 

“Maybe you should rest for a while.” 

“No, no point. It’s not the kind of tired that you fix with sleep.” She explained off-handedly as she began to walk away again. 

“What do you mean?” Borusa followed her, and Theta stopped again, sighing and turning to him. 

“I don’t know. It’s like- like my mind is tired. But..like, it’s not a fatigue. It’s more..overuse. Or something, I don’t know.”

“Like you’ve been using it too long, or too much?”

“Both, I suppose.” She considered. “I’m probably just stressed out. I doubt it’s important.” 

“You’ve got quite the mind on you Theta, you need to take care of it.”

“So people keep telling me.” She muttered. “That’s proving difficult when I don’t know what’s wrong with it.” 

Borusa glanced at the floor, before looking back at her. 

“Yes, well. Sometimes, the answers just aren’t meant to be found.” 

“That’s dumb.” Theta frowned. “You can find answers to anything if you look in the right places. Guess I’m just looking in the wrong ones.” 

“Perhaps.” He nodded shortly. 

“Well, let me know if you figure out where I’m supposed to be looking, cuz I’ve not got a fucking clue.” Theta called over her shoulder, starting her way back towards her dorm. 

-

“So?” 

“Classes to start? Like, the end of the month.” She kicked off her shoes. “For everything to get back to normal, more like half a year.”

“That’s not bad.” Koschei considered, and Theta nodded, clambering into bed with him. “You ok? It’s the middle of the day.”

“I’m just exhausted, and I don’t even know why.” Theta explained, as Koschei wrapped his arms around her. “But it’s like, a mental tired. I don’t know.”

“Are your walls up properly?”

“I’m not sure. I find it hard to put them up, because I can never find the edges to my presence. But, I think they are. Why?” 

“Well, if they’re not, you’re probably way more susceptible to how everyone else is feeling. You know, the sadness, the anger, the fatigue. That might all be piling onto you.”

Theta considered it for a moment. 

“Yeah, maybe. That’s probably it.”

“You might need to just take some time to reset your head. Get the right precautions in place. Help yourself before you help anyone else, for once.” 

“We’ll see.” Koschei sighed at her response. 

“You know Thee’, you’re gonna burn yourself out before you can help anyone else if you don’t look after yourself.”

“I do look after myself.” She tried to argue weakly. 

“When was the last time you did anything to relax? Or unwind, or just do something because it made you feel better.”

“Well, I spend time with you?” Theta glanced up at him, and Koschei shook his head. 

“That doesn’t count. Something you did when you weren’t with me.”

“But I’m always with you.” 

“Ok, yeah. But like- sometimes when we’re together, I read a book, or I organise my things because it makes me feel better. It releases serotonin. What do you do when we’re together?” 

“I don’t know. Catch up on homework. Think.”

“And when was the last time you opened the window, sat by it and read your favourite book?” He asked. Theta glanced back down, and shrugged. “Exactly.”

“I just don’t like- y’know, being alone. Doing things because it’s relaxing. My mind always wanders.”

“Why is that bad?”

“Because it never goes places I’d like it too.” Theta sat up, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable. She didn’t want to talk about this. Talking about it meant thinking about it and she promised herself that she wouldn’t look back. 

“What do you mean?” Koschei slowly sat up after her, and Theta shook her head, moving to stand up. 

“It’s not important. I’d really rather we didn’t talk about it. Just forget I said anything.” Koschei grabbed her wrist though, and looked her in the eye. 

“Tell me.” He said, with no room for argument. Theta paused, staring at him in the eye for a moment, before she glanced away and sat back down. 

“Koschei,” she said, more as of a final plead to drop it. But he didn’t reply, so Theta sighed deeply and fixated her focus on the chair leg across the room. “I don’t like staying still.” She said quietly. “Because then I start to think about- y’know, myself. And, I don’t like doing that.” Theta paused for a long while, and Koschei’s thumb rubbed up and down her wrist bone, in a silent reassurance. “I think I’m an awful person.” She admitted brokenly. “I hate what I did to Torvic, and I know you always say I did the right thing but I just can’t see it like that, and I’ll always hate it. I hate that I was so self-absorbed that I hid it from the police instead of going to prison like I deserved. I hate that I lied and cheated and hurt my way out of what I deserved. And I hate that in some capacity, I was willing enough to forgive myself and move on. 

‘And I hate what happened to Sanfej, because what I did turned him into someone reliant on drugs and that’s an awful thing to do. And I hated the look in his eyes, when he knew what I’d done. I hated how much he was terrified of me, because what I did to his best friend was barbaric, and he was just a child. He wasn’t even fifty, and I murdered him in cold blood. 

‘And- and I hate that when we finally got the police off of our case, I was happy. I was thrilled, that my life could finally go on like normal. But that was so incredibly selfish, because Torvic’s can’t. He can’t go on, and I’ve fucked Sanfej up as well. Probably Torvic’s whole family. It’s not right that I was happy when it was all over, I didn’t deserve to be. I didn’t deserve to go unpunished, it wasn’t right. 

‘But probably most of all, I hate that I can live with myself. I fucking hate that I can look myself in the eye every day, and have a good day. I hate that I’m allowing myself to be happy.

‘So maybe that’s why. Maybe I don’t want to pick up my favourite book because I feel like I don’t deserve too. Or maybe it’s just because if I sit down and try to read, when I close my eyes all I can see is how scared he was, and- and when I turn the page I’ll see that my hands are shaking because they never fucking stop, I can’t stop them shaking, and when I go to bed at night all I can think about is how much of a horrible person I am and how much I hate myself and-“ Theta let out a choked sob, and arms came to wrap around her middle. 

She felt tears cascading down her cheeks as Koschei pressed a kiss to her temple. 

“Ssh, I know. I understand.” He murmured, rocking her slowly. “Theta, you have to let this go. You can’t hold onto this for the rest of your lives.”

“I don’t know how.” She whispered. “And why should I? Why do I deserve to forgive and forget the child I murdered?”

“Because you were a child too.” He pointed out quietly. “Because you were a child and children make mistakes.”

“That wasn’t a mistake, Koschei, it was a cold blooded murder.” She muttered. 

“Clearly not cold blooded enough.” He sighed, gently pulling her backwards. Theta acquiesced and climbed back into bed again, letting Koschei wrap his arms around her shoulders and card through her hair. 

“You’re a good person, Theta.” She immediately went to argue, but Koschei shushed her again. “You know how I know you’re a good person?” His only response was a sniffle. “Because you’re hurting so much. You don’t deserve to hurt this much Theta, because you are a good person. You help people, you put yourself in harms way for people you don’t even like, you work yourself until you physically collapse on the sheer hope that you can make a difference. When the Dalek’s came, you tried to contact the Cardinal. You knew it would hurt, and you might do some serious damage to your brain, but you did it anyway because you wanted to help people, and save as many as you could.”

“But I’m not sure that I can patch up the bad thing I did with good things.” She mumbled. 

“Why not? You took his life, but you saved mine. How does saving lives hold any less weight than taking them?” 

“Because I don’t see the faces of the people I’ve saved when I close my eyes.” She whispered. 

Koschei didn’t reply for a long while. 

“Then we’ll have to work on that. I’m not leaving you in the dark Theta, I’m not going to let you beat yourself up about this forever.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love you, and you’re the best person I’ve ever met. I just want you to see yourself how I see you. Just for a moment.”

“I think you’re probably working an impossible case there, Kos’.” 

“Maybe. But it doesn’t mean I won’t try. It’s the least you deserve.” 

Theta didn’t feel like she deserved anything, especially not Koschei. But she wasn’t going to say that. 

She wasn’t sure he’d ever understand. 


	61. Sixty-one

The month passed achingly slowly, but one day, they found themselves back in class. Of course, it wasn’t like it had been. Some of their classrooms were gone, along with a few teachers and classmates. 

They were still eating meals in the classrooms, as anyone who had had their dorm destroyed was having to sleep in the dinner hall. 

But they managed. 

Theta was making her way to her next class, when Borusa called her into his office. 

She sighed, sitting down. 

“Sir, I have a class to be getting to too. Can this be quick?”

“I’ve never known you wanting to go to class before Theta.” He frowned, sitting opposite her. 

“Guess that proves just how much I love our little chats, sir.” She shrugged. He pursed his lips. 

“Theta, after everything I’ve done for you, don’t you think you owe me a little respect?”

“I think we have different meanings of the word respect sir, because in my books, I do respect you.” 

“Tell me how you’ve ever proved that you respect me, Theta?” He leant back on his chair, raising an eyebrow. Theta shrugged. 

“In my books, respect means treating others the way you’d want to be treated. I treat you as my equal sir, sarcasm and all. But sir, if your version of respect involves me looking at you as above me, in a position of authority, I hate to tell you that you’re looking in the wrong places, because I’m not going to give you that any time soon.” 

“You do look at things in a way I’ve never seen before Theta, do you know that?”

“Does anyone look at things the same way?” 

“I don’t know.” He admitted, before pausing for a long while. “Theta, how much do you know about regeneration?” 

“The basics. I watched Mrs Ethanojik regenerate the day the Dalek’s came. I know it’s painful.”

“The body completely changes.” He leant forward, elbows on his knees as he explained lowly. “Cells burning and being reborn. Complete destruction, and completion again. Does that sound painful?”

“Doesn’t sound pleasant.”

“And what about scary?” 

“Scary?” She repeated. 

“Yes.” Borusa nodded, before narrowing his eyes. “What do you think makes a person, Theta?”

She paused, pursing her lips in thought. 

“I don’t know. Choices. Why they make those choices. How they react to things. The small things. Habits.”

“So mind, over body?”

“I suppose.” 

“That’s all well and good,” Borusa nodded. “But how would you feel if I took your mind, and planted you in a different body?”

Theta shrugged, confused as to what he was getting at, and not very eager to keep answering such enigmatic questions. 

“I don’t know. Scared.”

“Good.” He nodded. 

“Sir, what the hell is the point in all this?” Theta sighed deeply, running a hand over her face. 

“I want you to understand the way things are Theta. Because there are things that you’re not taught, in the Academy, and I want at least one person to come out of here, knowing what I wished I could’ve, at your age.”

“Ok,” she nodded slowly, and tiredly. “Which is?”

“You should be afraid of regeneration.” He said lowly. “You avoid it at all costs. You don’t put yourself on the firing line, you don’t do anything stupid, and if you see a scenario where you might end up regenerating, you run in the other direction as fast as you can.”

“But why, sir?” She asked, frowning. “It’s never seemed like a big deal before. Mrs Ethanojik got up like nothing had ever happened.”

“But everyone’s different. Some people are affected more than others. I just think- you might struggle with it more.”

“Why?” 

“Because..” he paused. “Because, it’s just a feeling. Better to prepare you for it, and it not happen, than it happen and having you unprepared.” He explained. “You stay in bodies as long as you can. And you save yourself before you save anyone else. Remember that, Theta. 

‘Our ability is not a gift. It’s a curse. It’s painful and it’s something you have to fear, if you want to survive. It’s important that you remember that.”

“Will do.” She muttered.

“I mean it Theta.” Borusa said firmly as Theta got up, making her way over to the door. 

“I know.”

-

“What did he want?” Koschei asked, as Theta explained that she’d been called into his office. They were making their way towards their dorm later that day. 

“I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes. “Telling me to be afraid of regeneration or something.”

“What for?” He frowned. 

“Not a clue. Most things he say go in one ear and out the other if I’m honest.” This wasn’t really the truth, but Theta wasn’t going to start admitting that she was taking anything Borusa said to heart. 

“Hey, Thee’, I was wondering if you’d help me out with something.” Koschei said, after a pause. 

“Course. Anything.”

“I want to figure out how to talk to you. Y’know, telepathically. Since we just sat down and worked at it until I found my presence, I figured we could do the same with that?”

“Sure, sounds good, Kos’.” Theta nodded. “Just, let me clear my head first. Don’t want to mess anything up for you.”

“Alright.” He agreed. “I’ll wait for you.” 

So, when they got to Koschei’s dorm, he sat and waited for her whilst Theta took a cold shower, and tried to clear her head from the fog that still hadn’t left. 

As the days went on, she grew increasingly frustrated with it. She wanted it to leave, she wanted to feel sharp, on it again. But nothing she tried worked. It was like she was trapped in a cloak of thick smoke, and couldn’t quite get everything working again well enough. 

Theta huffed in frustration, shutting off the shower and throwing on some clothes. She marched out of the bathroom and over to the window, opening it wide and sticking her head out. 

It was raining, but the raindrops only chilled her skin. 

“Theta, what’s wrong?” Koschei asked, almost tiredly. 

“It’s this place Kos’, I’m sure of it.” The blond sat down on the windowsill, sighing deeply. “It’s driving me crazy. I want to get out of here.” 

“I know,” he said gently, sitting opposite her and taking her hand. “But we still have years left at the academy.”

“Why can’t we just run away?” Theta huffed. “It’s so..oppressive. So limiting, Koschei, can’t you feel it?”

“Yeah.” He admitted. 

“You’re brilliant. You could be so much more if we just made it out of here.” She leant forward, takingboth his hands and squeezing them tightly. “We’ve been planning it for decades, Kos’, why don’t we really do it?”

“We’ve come all this way though, Theta. Do you really want to give up now?”

“Not give up. Be more than this place. Be more than Gallifrey. Think of all the amazing things we could do. We could go right now, steal a TARDIS, and be off this planet by the end of the day. Wouldn’t that be good? All we’ve ever wanted.”

“Theta,” Koschei said softly, pressing a kiss to her hand. “You know I want that. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. For years. But- I don’t know if I can give this all up. Not when we’ve worked so hard.”

“But what’s it all for?” She sighed. “The titles, the regenerations, for what? What would we get from being time lords that we don’t already have?”

“A purpose?” He shrugged. Theta shook her head. 

“A purpose that was pre-decided at birth? That I never asked for? Why would I want that when I could go out there, and find my own purpose?”

“Because it’s easier.” Koschei shrugged. Theta narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Since when have you ever taken the easy option?”

“I just don’t know, Theta.” He sighed, running a hand over his face. “It’s a big deal. We don’t know how to fly a TARDIS, and we’ve never even been anywhere, other than here, our homes and the citadel. Going off of the planet- I mean, that’s terrifying.”

“Yeah. But we’d do it together. We’d do it all together, and we’d look after each other. We’d just have each other. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”

“Yeah,” Koschei nodded. “But it’s complicated, Thee’. You know it’s not as cut and dry as you’re making it seem.” 

She sighed, turning to look out of the window. 

“I’m just sick of orange. I’m sick of seeing Torvic whenever I go. I want to see blue. I want to see the colours like we saw in the Lights of the Other. I want to hear music. I want to see the universe and I want to do it with you.”

“Will ‘I’ll think about it’ cut it?” Koschei asked. Theta glanced back at him, nodding a little. 

“I’m sorry. I’m being pushy.”

“Yeah. But that’s you.” Koschei pressed a kiss to her temple as he stood up. “But I mean it, Thee’. I will think about it. I’m not just saying it to get you off my back.”

“Yeah I know. You’re good like that.” She smiled a little. “Kos’, you know I love you. More than anything.” 

“Course I do.” He reassured. “And I love you too. Even if you never stop to breath between words.”


	62. Sixty-two

“Ok, so are you ready?”

“Yup.” Koschei nodded, shifting and closing his eyes. 

“Good. So, first, find you presence, find mine, and just kind of get the feel for your surroundings.”

Koschei nodded, and was silent for a few moments. 

“Ok. Done.”

“Good. I’m going to lower my walls so it’s easier for you at first.” Theta explained, before lowering her guard about half way, not enough to be completely vulnerable, but enough to help Koschei. 

“Ok.” He nodded. 

“Right. So, find an emotion. How are you feeling right now?”

“Pretty neutral. Focused.”

“Alright, so send that focus towards me.” She ordered, and Koschei nodded. A moment passed, and Theta got a wave of focus wash over her. 

“Good!” She grinned. “Alright, so now, think of like..two words. Like ‘I’m focused.’ And when you send the focus across, try and send that too.”

“How do I do that?” He asked. Theta hummed in thought for a moment, trying her best to explain it in a way he’d understand. 

“Like..almost wrap it up. Take the words, and put it right inside the emotion, so you don’t separate the two. When I was first starting, I’d just repeat the phrase over and over in my head as I sent it across, and that seemed to work.”

“Alright.” Koschei muttered, frowning deeply for a moment. Theta waited patiently, and after a moment, a new wash of focus came over her. “Didn’t work.” He muttered. 

“That’s ok. Try again, Kos’.” 

He was quiet for a long while, and the feeling was shoved across to Theta. There was almost an echo, almost an imprint of what he was trying to get across, which was better than nothing. 

“I can see that it’s almost there. I can almost sense it, you’re doing well.” She reassured. Koschei didn’t reply, so Theta decided to check for herself to see if he was straining himself too much. He didn’t seem to be, so she decided it was probably alright to keep going. 

“This is hard.” He mumbled, rubbing at the lines on his forehead. 

“It’s alright Kos’, you’re doing really well. Do you have a headache?”

“No, no I’m ok.”

“We can take a break.” She suggested. 

“No, I’m fine. I want to get this.” He frowned. Theta sighed a little. 

“I know, love, but you’re not going to do yourself any good by overworking yourself.”

“I’m fine, Thee’. I just need to concentrate.” Koschei muttered, before going back to silence. Theta decided not to push it any more, instead lowering her walls even more in hope that it might help. 

Koschei’s frown deepened as Theta got wave after wave of the cold, blue sharpness that she could identify as focus. But there were no words that came with it, even if she looked deep inside each wave and took it apart. 

So she waited patiently, immediately throwing off the duds when they got to her head. It was a little much, and her temples were starting to ache with all the emotion she was being sent. Still, Theta didn’t want to say anything, because she wanted to be helpful, and not hinder Koschei. 

Being who he was though, Koschei quickly got frustrated though, sighing and opening his eyes. 

“I can’t do it, Thee’.”

“It’s alright, Kos’. I would’ve been really surprised if you could’ve done it on the first day. These things take time.”

“Not for you they didn’t.”

“Well, no, but they probably did. I just didn’t realise it was happening.” She reached across the space, squeezing his hand. “I think you did really well.”

-

Theta was, on this rare occasion, sleeping peacefully, curled up like she normally was. One arm was thrown over Koschei’s middle, the other clutched close to her chest. Her legs were pulled up tightly to the rest of her body, and her hair was in its usual neat form, from where Koschei always gently pulled it back to the back of her head. If he hadn’t, it would probably end up everywhere- in his eyes and mouth. Neither of them particularly wanted that, so it had really become part of their routine for Koschei to sweep it backwards. 

On this particular night, however, the usual scene differed, because Koschei was awake. 

As Theta found out, when she shot upward, jolting as the words ‘I’m awake’ rattled through her skull. 

“Kos- what?” She muttered blearily, holding a hand to her head as Koschei’s eyes widened, and he sat up slightly. 

“I did it.” He grinned. “I actually did it.”

“How?” Theta frowned, rubbing her eyes. “My walls were up.”

“Clearly not well enough when you’re asleep.”

“Guess I should work on that,” Theta yawned. She was happy for Koschei, really she was. But it was late, and she had never really been a fan of being jolted out of sleep. “Well done Kos’, I’m proud of you. I knew you’d do it.”

“Sorry I woke you up.” He apologised, pulling her back down to his chest. 

“S’ok. We’ll do more tomorrow.” She yawned. “Y’know..when my eyes are..not closed..” Theta tailed off, as the sleep in her eyes forced them to shut again. 

“That was hard.” He noted, collecting Theta’s hair again. 

“‘Gets easier. Promise.” She mumbled, as a kind of sign off, before falling back to sleep. 

-

“Ok, just concentrate.” Theta said, sitting cross-legged on the floor opposite him. Koschei nodded, closing his eyes and shifting slightly. “Find an emotion.”

Koschei paused for a second, before nodding. 

“Now a short phrase to go with that.” He nodded again. “Ok, now try and send it across.” 

Theta waited patiently, through a few waves of determination. 

She didn’t say much, only leaving him to do whatever he figured was right. Koschei frowned deeply, and Theta waited, batting off the moments of determination in attempt to not feel so overwhelmed. 

Eventually, when Theta found nothing, she was about to suggest that they take a break, when the words ‘I’m gonna do this right’ echoed through her head, and Koschei’s eyes shot open. 

“Ah!” Theta blinked, pointing at him. 

“Ah!” He pointed back at her. “I did it!”

“That’s a long phrase too. Well done Kos’.” She grinned. 

“I wanna do more!” He beamed. 

“Could we maybe take a break?” Theta asked. “My head’s hurting a little.”

“Ok.” He agreed, a little downcast. “Why’s your head hurting?”

“Well cuz, I have to knock off all of the waves of the emotion you’re sending. It makes me a bit nauseous after a while.”

He nodded in understanding. 

“That makes sense. Sorry.”

“No, don’t be it’s ok. I’m really proud of you.” She smiled, putting her walls back up and leaning across the gap to kiss his cheek. 

“Thank you.” He smiled back, obviously proud of himself. As he should be, Theta thought. He’d done really well. 

She shuffled across the gap and pressed another kiss to his lips, smiling. 

“You’re doing so good, Kos’.” He shrugged. 

“Thanks to you, my love.” Koschei wrapped his arms around Theta’s waist, pulling her closer. She rolled her eyes, but let him do it, ending up on his lap. Theta swung her arms around his neck. 

“Must you always be such a sap?”

“As if you don’t love it.” He grinned, kissing her again. Theta made a face. 

“I don’t. Every time you do it I add it to the list of reasons I should break up with you.” She teased. Koschei raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh? Well, I hope you’ve hidden it well, cuz I’ll burn it if I ever find it.” 

“You can’t do that,” she huffed. “What about free will?” 

“Like I could ever stop you from having free will, Theta.” He scoffed. “I’m not sure even the God’s could stop you if you wanted it that badly.” 

“Well, good thing I don’t want much.” Theta considered, cupping Koschei’s face between her palms and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Only you really.” 

“Only me? What about food, and a roof over your head?”

“If I had to choose, I’d choose you.” She shrugged, and Koschei smiled. 

“I don’t believe you.”

“I would!”

“Liar.” He grinned, tipping them over. Theta soon had her back on the ground, and she laughed, letting go of his face. 

“I’m not lying.” She smiled. 

“And I’m the sap?” Koschei raised an eyebrow. Theta nodded. 

“Well at least I’m subtle about it. You’re basically a poet.”

“I thought you appreciated my haikus.” Theta laughed, shoving him off of her and clambering back on top of him, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above his head. 

“Sometimes.”

“You’re such a boy, do you know that?” He raised an eyebrow. Theta shrugged. 

“You’re only saying that cuz I’m stronger than you.”

“Yeah, you are.” He agreed, and Theta grinned. 

“I’d beat you in a fight.”

“No you wouldn’t, because there wouldn’t be one. Even if you broke my ribs, I still wouldn’t fight you back.” Koschei considered. Theta relinquished her grip a little in reaction to what he said, and Koschei used it as an opportunity to swing them back around and pin her to the floor again. 

“Fair play.” She huffed. “But I wouldn’t ever break your ribs. I wouldn’t even punch you.”

“Well then, we agree.” Koschei shrugged. “We’ll never fight.”

Theta held her pinky out, from where her hands were being held to the ground. 

“Truce?”

“Nice try. You think I’m dumb enough to let go of your wrist?” Koschei scoffed. 

“No, but I think you’re slow enough to look at my hand.” 

Theta shoved the rug outward with her foot, catching Koschei, who subsequently fell as a result, off guard, for long enough to flip them again and pin him back to the ground. 

He groaned, head falling back against the floor. 

“Fine. You win.” 

Theta grinned. 

“I know.”


	63. Sixty-three

Theta leant closer to the table, steadying herself before beginning the intricate detail of the red glow fly’s antenna. She narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brow in concentration, eager to get it right. 

“Theta!” She almost jolted, glancing back upward to see Mrs Ethanojik, with her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised. “Do you want to tell me what is more interesting than the peaks of the South Dust Mountains?”

“Sorry miss.” The apology was automatic, but her professor nodded at her. 

“No, please. Do tell us. What are you doing?” 

Theta sighed deeply. Oh how she was over being treated like a child. Wasn’t it enough that she’d even turned up to class? That had to count for something. 

“Drawing, Miss. A diagram of the Gallifreyan Red Glow Fly. Which, actually live on the peaks now that I think about it.”

“You know Theta, there are more important things in this world than insects?” Her professor sighed. “Give me the drawing.”

“Can’t miss, it’s in my work book.” Theta explained, almost sheepishly. Mrs Ethanojik was not impressed. 

“You drew it in your work book?” The woman pinched the bridge of her nose. “Erase it please, Theta.”

“But miss-“

“I don’t care, Theta, erase it.” Her professor said sharply, before turning back to the board. 

Theta sighed, glancing down at what honestly her pride and joy. 

Then Theta felt a nudging at her boarders, and she let them down a little, enough for a word to pass though.

‘Contact.’

Theta almost laughed in disbelief. Well, at least he was being polite. 

‘Contact.’ Theta allowed Koschei in, who clearly had slightly less control over his words, but was doing a lot better than what Theta had been expecting. 

‘Don’t.’ He put forward. Theta kept her eyes on what was in front of her, frowning a little. 

‘Don’t what?’ She asked. 

‘Erase it.’ He explained, phrases still short as Theta smiled a little. ‘Wanna see it.’

‘But she might give me an afterhourless.” Theta pointed out, glancing up at her professor. 

‘Then I’ll get one too.’ He reassured. She rolled her eyes fondly. 

‘You don’t have to do that.’

‘Want too.’ He reassured. 

‘Ok.’ Theta agreed, and Koschei peeled his way out of her head, gently. She was incredibly impressed with how well that conversation had gone, and sent a wave of how proud she was across to him, where he quickly flicked back gratitude.

She didn’t rub out the diagram, and when Mrs Ethanojik had set the class off on their next task, she made her way over. 

“Theta, have you gotten rid of it?” She asked. 

“No miss.”

“Why not?” Her professor sighed deeply. Theta shrugged. 

“Because I’m proud of it.”

“I’m sure, and that’s wonderful that you’re passionate about drawing, but you’ve done it in your work book and it can’t stay there.”

“Well, it can. And it will.” Theta shrugged. Her professor pursed her lips, folding her arms over her chest and sighing again. 

Theta got it. She was, to most of her professors, a big disappointment. But she believed that she hadn’t been put on Gallifrey to make her teachers proud, and she certainly hadn’t been put there to care wether she was making them proud or not. 

Theta just had to figure out why she had been put there. 

“Alright, Theta. I didn’t want to do this but I’m going to give you an afterhourless. And you’re going to stay here until you’ve gotten rid of that drawing.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that Miss, I can get rid of it right here and now.” Theta shrugged. Clearly Mrs Ethanojik had forgotten how important word choice was around Theta. The young woman took the page with her notes and diagram on it, and ripped it out of her workbook, much to the shock of everyone who had started watching. 

Koschei seemed to find it funny. 

“There,” Theta folded up the page and stuck it in her pocket. “Gotten rid of it.”

“Alright Theta, thats afterhourless for a week. And I want you to go and see Mr Delathorpo right now and explain to him what you did.” Her professor snapped, watching Theta stand up, grab her bag, smile at Koschei, and basically skip from the classroom. 

Like she was going to go to Mr Delathorpo. 

Theta made her way to the third classroom on the sixth floor, which was her only way to get onto the roof without Koschei. 

She pried the window open, glancing at the ledge and stepping out onto it. Theta made the small jump onto the overhang below, before hiking her way back up to the top of the roof. 

Theta swung her back down next to her, before lying down and sighing. 

She watched the sky for a long moment, but quickly discovered how bored she was of orange. So Theta shut her eyes, and listened to the nature around her. 

She almost dozed off, until ten minutes later when she heard shuffling beside her. Theta opened her eyes, smiling as Koschei lay down next to her. 

“What did you do?” She asked. 

“Refused to do my work.” He shrugged. Theta sighed deeply. 

“God I’m so sick of this place.”

“I know, you keep saying.” Koschei pointed out softly. Theta glanced at him. 

“But don’t you get sick of it? Being treated like a child?” 

“Yeah.” He admitted, after a pause. 

“I’m gonna find a book, learn how to fly a TARDIS.” She decided. Koschei raised an eyebrow.

“Thee’, they make sure we don’t have access to any books like that for that specific reason- so we don’t run away with one.”

“Well yeah, but we learn it eventually, so they’ve got to have books on it somewhere.” She pointed out. Koschei nodded again. 

“Which they keep locked up until we need them. I don’t even know where they keep them.”

“Then we’ll find out.” Theta decided. “Think about it, now’s the perfect time to steal one. Everyone’s still too focused on getting the place back to how it was, no one would even notice.” 

“Or,” he sighed. “We could wait until we’re taught it by a professional.” 

Theta sat up, frowning at him. 

“You didn’t want to wait for telepathy.” She jabbed. “Why are you so against this?”

“I’m not against it,” Koschei sat up besides her. “I just think- y’know, it’s not that long to wait. Is it really worth it? Don’t you think you can wait a couple more years?”

“I don’t want too.” She groaned. “I’m so fed up of this place. You want to see the universe as much as I do.”

“Yeah, but our lives are long. There’s no rush. We don’t have to do everything in the first millennia. We don’t have to rush out of our education.”

Theta frowned at him for a long moment. 

“If you felt like this, I wouldn’t say that to you. I’d want you to get out.”

“But I can’t understand how you’re feeling Theta. I get the want to see the world, but I don’t understand why you’re so eager to run from everything.” 

“Then let me show you.” Theta put her hand in his, and shoved across everything she could never explain. 

The overwhelming need to run from the Academy, and the dark shadows that it held. The need to run from Gallifrey, and the responsibilities and the expectations and everything Theta knew she’d never be able to live up too. The need to run from the stares that she couldn’t understand, the pressures and the condescension and the oppression. 

She showed him how much she longed to see things differently. How much she wanted to see the little things, and the big- insects and nebulas and people and life, thriving and breathing as an ecosystem that Theta wanted to understand. The way the universe moved and the way it expanded, the cycle of exhales and inhales and the overwhelming concepts of the possibilities in a butterfly lifespan. 

Koschei frowned at her, looked at her with something in his eyes that Theta couldn’t name when she pulled back. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“Why?”

“Why do you feel like that?” Koschei asked. Theta shrugged. 

“I don’t know. It’s just how I think.” She glanced at her lap, and then back at her friend. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t know. I think what we’ve got here isn’t something that will last forever. That we should make the most of the little time we’ve got left together. Maybe..” he sighed. “Maybe it’s time to give up on the idea of leaving. I mean, y’know..we were kids Theta. And we’re not anymore. What we’ve got here- it’s not perfect. But we’ve got each other, isn’t that enough for you?”

“It’s not about you.” Theta frowned, hurt. Quite honestly, she felt betrayed that Koschei could say something like that, right after she’d shown him how she truly felt about it all. “It’s not about us, Koschei. I just can’t stay here. I can’t. It’s..it’s suffocating. And the idea of leaving was never something that was childish to me. It was never something I’d grow out of. Because I’m not wasting away here, living out my thousands of years on Gallifrey. I’d rather live for a hundred years and see the universe.”

“Theta, don’t say that.” Koschei frowned, as Theta stood up, grabbing her bag. 

“Why? I mean it.”

“You’re being dramatic.” He sighed. She shot a glare at him. 

“No, I’m not. I just showed you how I really felt about it- I don’t want to sit here and listen to you pretend it’s just me being childish.” She turned away from him, and heard Koschei almost groan. 

“Where are you going?”

She didn’t reply. 


	64. Sixty-four

In all honesty, Theta wasn’t sure where she was going. She knew Koschei would follow her back to either of their dorms, and all she really wanted was to be alone. 

So Theta made her way into the fields behind the dorms. She wandered through the red wash of tall grass for around ten minutes, before finding a particularly tall patch, and sitting down in it. 

Theta sighed deeply, drawing her knees up to her chest. 

She couldn’t believe Koschei. 

Sure, she got not wanting to waste the few years they had left at the Academy, since it was really all the time they had left before they were properly adults. Theta could respect it if that was the future he wanted. 

She was just upset that he couldn’t seem to respect the future she wanted. 

Theta was upset that, even after she’d shown him how she really felt, and even after she had proved to him how serious she was about it, Koschei had still batted it off, and trivialised it. 

He knew how passionate she was about it, she’d shown him that passion. He’d known that the idea was more to Theta than just a silly, childish fantasy, and yet he still wanted to reduce it to just that. 

Theta would never do that. If Koschei was in the position she was, if he felt suffocated and oppressed, Theta was sure she would’ve done everything in her power to remove him from that situation, and put him in a position where he was able to thrive, and breathe. 

And even if she couldn’t, she would’ve tried her best. Just like she always did, just like she’d tried her best to quiet Koschei’s skull for him. 

Theta hadn’t figured that one out, and she really did hate herself for it. But she was trying, she had always tried. That was all she could really do, and all she would ever really do. 

Try for Koschei. 

Theta just wasn’t sure that was a mutual goal. 

She sighed deeply, lying back onto the ground and closing her eyes. 

She wanted something to change. Something had to give, that much was true. Theta knew she couldn’t keep going how she was. She was burning herself out, exhausted just from getting through the day. 

That was the other thing, she supposed, that had upset her. Koschei knew that, not only was this affecting Theta mentally, but physically as well. She was tired, had trouble concentrating, and was becoming more restless by the day. 

Theta couldn’t understand how Koschei had seen all of that- experienced it when she’d sent it across, and still managed to belittle it. 

She wanted to be angry, to be furious, but Theta couldn’t find the energy. 

That scared her. 

Without the anger, without the fire, what was she? How had this place managed to put her spark out that much? She needed anger, she needed passion- it reminded her that there was something, that she was still there, still kicking, still who she thought she was. 

Theta didn’t want Gallifrey to change who she was to herself. Sure, maybe she didn’t like all the parts of who she was, but it was familiar and it was her. Theta wanted to hold onto that, because it belonged to her. It wasn’t for Gallifrey to take from her. 

So she agreed to find the anger again. If she could find the passion, then Theta would be able to hold onto herself a little tighter. She promised she wouldn’t let go of herself. Of who she knew she was, who she had become as she shook off the expectations and fought back against the person she was meant to be. 

Theta knew who she was. Flaws and all, she knew who she was and she knew who society wanted her to be. Theta would not lose sight of either. 

If she kept her eye on who she was meant to be, it wouldn’t be able to sneak up behind her, and force its way in. 

If she kept her eye on who she was, it would defend her, and bite back. 

And even if she had nothing else, and no one else, she would always have herself. 

-

Theta lay there for hours, allowing herself the time to calm down before Koschei inevitably found her. She knew there would be no point trying to have a conversation with him if she couldn’t be mature and calm about it. 

So, as the sun began to set and Theta began to shiver, she stood up, and slowly made her way back towards the Academy. If she was honest, she would rather still be on her own, but Theta knew Koschei wouldn’t let her run from the issue for much longer. 

“Theta!” Koschei found her when she jumped the fence into the field directly behind her dorm building. She sighed deeply. 

“Yep?”

“Can we talk?” He asked, frowning almost sadly. 

“Yeah, sure.” Theta stepped past him and continued into the dorm building. Koschei blinked after her, before following. 

Theta made her way into her own dorm room, Koschei closing the door behind her, and sighing. 

“What do you want to say?” Theta asked, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning on the windowsill. Koschei glanced at his feet, and then glanced back at her. 

“I wanted to apologise.”

“What for?” She asked. 

“I dunno,” he shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Trivialising how you feel.” He avoided eye contact, choosing instead to look at the floor. Theta set her jaw. 

“Koschei, if you’re guessing what you need to apologise for, I don’t want to talk to you.”

“No, I’m not.” He pulled his arm away and straightened, looking at her in the eye and seemingly pushing his pride aside. “I’m sorry, Theta. I didn’t mean to make it seem like what you want is dumb..or, y’know, childish. I just..struggle to understand.” 

Theta sighed deeply, turning instead to look out of the window. 

“Why? I showed you exactly how I feel. I basically just gave it to you on a platter, why are you struggling to understand?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Maybe because..it took me by surprise how strongly you felt about it. I didn’t realise it was that bad.”

Theta didn’t reply for a long time. 

“I always try so hard.” She murmured, at the window pane. “No matter what you say, I always believe you, I always take it seriously.” She glanced at him. “Do you have any idea how easy it would’ve been to decide that the drumming in your head wasn’t real?” Koschei winced slightly, and Theta knew that was probably a little mean. But it didn’t make it any less true. “But I believed you, and I took it seriously. And I tried to help. Yeah, maybe it’s futile, and maybe I’ve failed you a lot, but I’ve spent so many nights, trying. And reading, and doing the maths. You can’t tell me I haven’t tried.” She glanced down at her lap. “Why don’t you believe me?” Theta asked quietly. 

Koschei stepped towards her, kneeling down in front of her and taking both of her hands. 

He squeezed them tightly. 

“I do believe you, Theta. I promise.”

“But you don’t understand.” She guessed. 

“Do you understand the drumming?” He asked gently. Theta paused, before shaking her head at her lap. 

“No.”

“Exactly. But like you said, that doesn’t stop you from trying to help. So..not understanding how you feel isn’t going to stop me from trying to help you.” 

She finally met his eye. 

“Really?”

“Really.” 

Theta raked over his face for any sign that he didn’t mean it. But she couldn’t find any. 

“Ok, I believe you.” 

Koschei let go of her hands to open his arms, as more of an invitation. Theta hesitated, before pulling herself close. 

Koschei wrapped his arms around her tightly, squeezing her gently. 

“I love you Theta. So much.” He hummed. 

“I love you too.” She gave in. 

Koschei was quiet for a long moment. 

“You do believe me about the drumming though..right?” He asked quietly. Theta tried to pull back to take a look at his face, but Koschei kept her close. So, after a moment of hesitation, Theta squeezed tighter. 

“Of course I do.” She said gently. “Believed you the moment you told me.”

“Ok,” Koschei nodded a little. “That’s good.”

Theta tried to pull back again, just to check he was ok, but Koschei wouldn’t let her. She was a little worried, but decided to push that aside and comfort him. 

She pressed a kiss to his temple, before moving to stroke some of the hair at the nape of his neck. Koschei sighed deeply, seemingly relaxing a little. 

He rubbed her back and his arms went lax enough for Theta to pull back to look him in the eye. 

He wasn’t crying, but still, Theta didn’t like how vulnerable he looked. 

“I love you, so much.” She said softly. Koschei nodded. 

“I know. I love you too.” 


	65. Sixty-five

“Koschei?” Theta asked one day, when she decided he was in a good enough mood for her to breach the subject without him becoming defensive. 

“That’s me.”

“Did you ever hypnotise anyone, after Sanfej?” She asked gently. Koschei sighed deeply, not putting down his book. It was a clear indication that he was not prepared to have this conversation. 

“A few, here and there. Really, I reached a point where there wasn’t much else to do, so I kinda stopped.” 

That wasn’t the answer she wanted. Still, Theta considered, at least he wasn’t doing it anymore. 

“Did you just make people forget things? Or did you do other things too?” She asked. Koschei seemed to take this question as one stemming from genuine curiosity. Apparently, he was very much open to genuine curiosity, because he put his book down and leant forward. 

“It was mostly making people forget things. But, y’know, there was some stuff. Like..making people think it’s a different time of day, or a different day entirely. Making them think they can’t do certain things. Y’know..if you touch that book you’re going to fall asleep immediately. Or, like making them believe their arms are completely lax, and that they can’t hold anything. It was never anything painful, and I’d always make them forget it at the end. So no harm done.” 

Theta nodded slowly. That didn’t sound that bad. Still, she wanted to be sure. 

“Will you do it to me?” She asked. Koschei frowned deeply, narrowing his eyes at her. 

“Why do you want me to? I’ve told you Thee’, I don’t want too. Especially not if you’re doing it to prove some ethical point.”

“I’m not.” She reassured, sitting forward from where she was sat on her bed. “I want to check that it doesn’t hurt, like you said. If you do it to me, and it really doesn’t hurt, I won’t bring it up again.”

“Yes you will.” He sighed. 

“No, I won’t, I promise. You have my word, Koschei. If you’re right, I’ll leave you to do it. I won’t bring it up again and I won’t pick fights.”

“But it being painful or not isn’t the only problem you have with it,” Koschei pointed out. “You think it’s unethical, wether it hurts or not.”

“I can look past that if I’m sure it doesn’t hurt.” Theta hesitated. “Besides..like you said. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Theta didn’t believe that, but if she could find some kind of middle ground with Koschei on it, maybe she could let it go. 

“I’ve never done it where I’ve let people keep the memory before. You might not like..y’know..like, not being in control of yourself.”

“I’ll be ok, I’ve dealt with worse.” 

Koschei frowned at her for a long moment, chewing on his lip. 

“Fine. If it stops you worrying. I can’t promise it won’t freak you out though.”

“I’ll be ok.” She reassured again, following his lead as he stood up. Koschei made his way over to her, frowning deeply in reconsideration. 

Then it cleared, and he squeezed her hand. 

“I’ll make it quick.”

“I trust you, Kos’. Don’t rush it, I need to be able to decide for myself.” She pointed out. Koschei nodded again. 

“Fine. Ready?”

“Yeah.” Theta was honestly pretty nervous, but she trusted Koschei. She was sure it would be fine. 

“Ok.” Koschei agreed softly, before pressing four fingers to her temples. 

It felt like everything she knew about anything had been sucked out of her brain, in an instant. Theta knew who she was, but wasn’t sure how she’d gotten there, or entirely what was happening. 

Still, someone was in front of her, and all Theta knew was that she had to pay attention. 

She swayed slightly on her feet, and watched as the man in front of her took a small step backwards. 

“To me.” He said softly. Theta’s brain immediately told her body to acquiesce, and she stepped quickly forward to make up the space between them. “Can you put your left arm up, my love?” Theta put her left arm up. “And down.” She moved it back down. “Do you know what day it is?” 

She thought about it for a moment. 

“Thursday.” 

“Not anymore. Tuesday, yeah?” The man moved and snapped his finger right next to her ear. Theta started a little, blinking slowly at him. “What day is it?” 

“Tuesday.” She mumbled. Because of course it was Tuesday. It had always been Tuesday on this day. How could she have gotten that wrong?

“Good,” the man nodded. “And when I let you go you’re going to realise all the facts I’ve told you were wrong, and you’re going to know what day it really is again, ok?”

“But it’s Tuesday.” She said quietly. He smiled a little. 

“Yeah, course it’s Tuesday, my love. But not for much longer.” 

“Hm?” Theta blinked slowly. 

The man stepped towards her again, pressing four fingers to her temples again and letting go. 

The force at which everything rushed back into her was enough for Theta’s knees to give out. Which he’d apparently been expecting, because he immediately caught her. Theta gasped a little, eyes wide as her hands tightened around the fabric at Koschei’s shoulders. 

“What day is it, my darling?” He asked, one hand coming to hold the small of her back and the other moving the stroke some hair from her face.

“Thursday.” she whispered. “It’s a Thursday.” 

“Well done.” He offered softly, slowly helping her back onto her feet. Theta didn’t let go of his shoulders. “Are you ok?”

“I- it’s- what the hell.” She ran a hand over her face. “Koschei, what the fuck?”

“What’s wrong?” He frowned. 

“Where did you even learn to- it’s so dangerous. You could make people do anything.”

“Well, yeah,” Koschei agreed. “But I’m not going too.” He reassured. “What’s it like?”

“Like- like, I don’t know. I knew my name, but, I didn’t know who you were. I just knew I had to listen to you. It’s not- y’know, that bad when it’s happening because you don’t know what’s going on, but now..that was awful.”

“But no one else I’ve done it too has ever kept the memories, so they don’t feel like that. They only get the part that’s not that bad.”

Theta nodded slowly, still dazed as she let go of Koschei and sat down on her bed again. 

“And, you know,” he followed her, and sat down besides her. “If you really don’t like it, you don’t have to remember it.”

“No, I want too.” She murmured. “My memories are my memories, wether they’re good or not.” 

“If you’re sure.” Koschei nodded. 

Theta was quiet for a long time, as her brain slowly processed what had happened. 

“You could..y’know..do good things with that, couldn’t you?” She asked. Koschei glanced at her, frowning. 

“I guess, yeah. What did you have in mind?”

“Nothing,” Theta shook her head. “But like..you could get people to break habits and stuff, couldn’t you? Stop addictions, wipe traumatic memories if they wanted you too.”

“Yeah, I could.” He nodded. “I could stop your hands from shaking if you wanted me too.” 

Theta looked at him, and then down at her hands. As usual, when she lifted one, there was an obvious tremor, and she put her other hand over it, forcing it to stop. 

“No,” she declined. “I’m fine.” Theta wasn’t sure why she had. She knew Koschei could do it, and she knew she’d be better off without it. But maybe it was the comfort of familiarity, or the ever present thought process that she didn’t deserve to have steady hands. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” Theta nodded, glancing down at her lap. “I’ll leave it now. Won’t bring it up again.” 

Koschei frowned deeply, putting one hand on her back and rubbing slowly. 

“Are you alright, Theta? You can tell me if it upset you, or, I don’t know, scared you.” 

“No, I’m fine.” She shook off. “Just..shaken I suppose. It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does.” Koschei moved to kneel in front of her, and pressed a hand to her cheek. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m fine, Kos’, really. I’ve just never had anything like that happen before. It’s weird to not have control of your own body.” 

He frowned for a long moment, looking over her face to try and gauge her expression. 

“But you’d tell me if you’re not ok? If that really did upset you, don’t just not tell me because you don’t like being wrong.”

“I promise, Koschei, I’m ok. Just a little disoriented.”

“Ok.” He agreed slowly, before leaning up and pressing a kiss to her lips. “And the offer still stands. About your hands.”

“Thank you.” 


	66. Sixty-six

One afternoon, Theta’s class was bundled onto a tram, in place of their Geography lesson, and set off somewhere. 

None of them had any idea where they were going, and all that was talked about on the way there was excited theories and nervous suggestions. 

Theta sat next to Koschei quietly, and listened to what everyone else thought. Koschei did the same. 

In the end, nothing anyone came up with anything that seemed particularly plausible, and when the tram squealed to a stop, none of the young adults were any the wiser. 

Theta walked, side by side with Koschei as they piled off onto the ground. 

They were in, what seemed to be the middle of absolutely nowhere, besides from what almost looked like an arena. 

It was like a sort of large, round building, but without a roof, and Theta could already tell the middle was hollow. Like a large, futuristic donut, she supposed. 

The young adults were shepherded their way into the building and out into the middle, which turned out to be what looked like a large open space, complete with soft padding on the ground and large racks of weapons. 

Ok, now Theta was confused. 

“What the hell is going on?” She murmured. Koschei shrugged, frowning deeply. 

“It’s very nice to have you all here,” a woman clapped her hands together to draw their attention, “I just wished it was in better circumstances. Now, I’m sure it’s not lost on any of you how serious our conflict with the Dalek’s is, especially now that they have gone after our younger, and more vulnerable generations. So, your headmaster has taken it upon himself to put you into my care. Today, I will be teaching you the basics needed to defend yourself, should the Dalek’s ever come back to your school, and giving you the weapons you’d need to fight them.”

Rethra shook her head at the ground, sighing out shakily. 

“I knew we’d get drafted eventually.” She whispered. Sanfej took her hand, and squeezed. 

“We’re not getting drafted, Reth’. It’s ok. It’s just a precaution.” 

“This is more than a precaution.” She pointed out, rather worriedly. 

Theta glanced at Koschei, who was frowning at the woman. 

“Now, today we’ll be starting with guns, and the safe way to use them.” She lead the nervous group over to a rack of guns she had. They looked most likely to be blasters, that could be aimed and shoot at the targets that had been set up about fifty metres away. The woman picked up one of the blasters, pointing out the different parts to it and how to best handle it. 

Theta didn’t pay much attention, choosing instead to watch how the other few soldiers, was what they appeared to be, set up a gun in front of target. There was about for about six of them to all have a go at once and Theta assumed they’d been called up in waves. 

She allowed the woman one ear, as she finished explaining how many shots one could fire before the blaster had to recharge. 

Then, the soldiers lined them up in waves of six, like Theta had been expecting, and gave the front row blasters. 

She and Koschei had somehow gotten separated, and now he was diagonally in front of her. 

They shared a glance as the first row fumbled for a moment, before shooting. 

Only two of them even hit the target. 

‘I don’t like this.’ Theta decided, and Koschei pressed forward acknowledgement. 

‘Well, we have to do it.’ He pointed out gently. Theta shook her head, even though he wasn’t looking at her. 

‘I don’t have to do anything.’

‘Please don’t cause a scene, Theta.’ Koschei pleaded, letting her into his tiredness. She almost flared. 

‘Why not?’ She asked sharply. 

‘Because people will disagree with you. They’ll take it as you siding with the Dalek’s, refusing to fight for the freedom of your planet. You’ll get in so much trouble.’

‘I don’t care.’ Theta decided. ‘Why should I have to fight for something that I never got the option to support, anyway? Why isn’t patriotism an option?’

‘I don’t have the answers to that Theta, but you know as well as I do that if you want to get anywhere, if you want to get out of this place at all, you have to play the game. This included.’ 

‘The game wasn’t supposed to involve murder.’ 

‘This game does. That can’t be changed, so play along.’ Koschei stepped up to take his turn, and Theta watched as the blaster was handed to him. 

‘No, it can’t be changed.’ She agreed, watching Koschei roll his shoulders back and shift the weight of the gun in his hands, like it was second nature. ‘But neither can I.’ 

Koschei didn’t reply, as he narrowed his eyes, took a breath out, and shot on the exhale. 

Three, sharp shots, searing their way almost perfectly onto the bullseye. He lowered the gun, smiling at the target as the woman praised him. 

He turned back to smile at her, and she offered a tight one back. 

‘Well done.’ She gave him quietly. ‘You make it look easy.’

‘You’ll probably do better than me.’ He pushed forward reassurance, and a quiet plead that she would just play along, as he made his way to the back of the group. 

Theta stepped forward, shutting off what she was sure would be Koschei’s pleads and disappointment, as she put her hands behind her back. 

The woman made her way up the line, handing the blasters to the young adults. She got to Theta, holding it out expectantly. But the blond shook her head. 

“No thank you.”

“Pardon?” The woman blinked at her, after a surprised pause. 

“I said no thank you. I don’t want the gun.” 

“You realise this is mandatory. You have to learn how to defend yourself, and your peers.” 

“Respectfully, ma’am, I did that just fine when they attacked the Academy, without a gun.” 

“Do you not care about Gallifrey? Do you not want to fight for it?” She asked, almost in disbelief. Theta shook her head. 

“I don’t want to fight for anything. I just want to help people.”

“And you’ll help people by helping eliminate the threat.” The woman said, quite sharply. It was clear she was losing her patience. Theta didn’t care. 

“Respectfully, shooting the enemy isn’t going to stop the people on the ground from bleeding out, alone and afraid. Someone has to put pressure on the wound, and stop the bleeding.” 

“So, what, you want to be a medic?” The woman raised an eyebrow. Theta shook her head. 

“No. Really, I just want to be a kid who can get their education without worrying about having to shoot aliens, but if you’re forcing me into the position, I refuse to shoot a gun.” 

The woman scowled at her for a moment. 

“Come with me.” She beckoned her out of the line, and Theta followed, eager not to make her angry. 

The woman ordered their line to shoot, before nodding to one of her colleagues to, what looked like continue the movement of the waves. The woman lead her to the side, and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“What’s your name?” She asked. 

“Theta.” 

“Do you like Dalek’s, Theta?” The woman asked pointedly. 

“No.” Theta shook her head. 

“But you don’t want to fight them? You don’t want to protect your friends and classmates?” She accused. Theta had the urge to bite back, but stopped herself. She knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere by being rude. 

“When they came to the Academy, I saved a lot of lives. We all did. But none of us had guns.”

“Yes, and two hundred people died.” The woman pointed out sharply. Theta twinged, frowning deeply. 

“You can train all these children to fight, if you want too.” She shot back. “But I have a right to refuse. What does it matter if one less person is holding a gun?”

“Because that can make the difference between at least five Daleks. Do you understand the damage five Daleks could do?” The woman scowled at Theta. 

“Do you understand the damage that could be done if nobody was there to look after the people who got injured, ma’am?” Theta forced her voice into neutrality. 

If the Academy had taken most things from her, they would not take her away her freedom of choice. She was not going to hold a gun today, or any other day. 

“Are you getting smart with me, Theta?” The woman glared at her. Theta shrugged. 

“I do that with people who don’t treat me like their equal.” 

“Do you have any idea the kind of trouble I could get you into?” 

“Nothing I haven’t been in before.” She batted off. The woman straightened. 

“Get into line, Theta. If you don’t man up, and shoot that gun in the next two minutes, I will do everything in my power to have you expelled.” She barked. 

Theta almost laughed. 

“I’m not a solider, ma’am, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t yell at me like I’m one. Oh, and, uh, no.” 

“Fine.” The woman pursed her lips into a bitter smile. “I’d start saying goodbye to your friends now, young lady. When I tell your Jurist about this, I’ll make sure it gets taken to your headmaster.” 

Theta just shrugged, and stayed where she was, as the woman marched off, burning in fury. 

They could take it to the Jurist- it was Borusa, and it wasn’t like he would do anything expect give her a lecture. That man was far too predictable. 

Theta considered that a victory. She wasn’t sure how many more times she would have to come here, and be yelled at, but Theta could put up with that. 

She’d rather be yelled at, then have the weight of lives in her hands again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok legit w h a t how is this at 100k already. It feels like I only started it yesterday lmao, thank you all so much for your ongoing support! It means the world to me ❤️


	67. Sixty-seven

Koschei didn’t speak to her on the tram back to the Academy. Theta wanted to try, but word apparently spread quickly, and Borusa was waiting for her at the platform. 

She sighed deeply, and followed him to his office. 

Theta sat down, as Borusa sat opposite her. 

“So, do you want to tell me what happened?” He asked. Theta glanced at him. 

“What were you told?”

“That you refused to do as you were told, and then yelled at your instructor. Although, I’m assuming she overplayed it. She wants you expelled.”

“I know, she mentioned.” Theta muttered, running a hand over her face. “I didn’t yell at anyone. I tried to be calm- I just, didn’t want to handle a gun. Surely I have a right to decide wether I want to or not.” She explained, rather tiredly. 

As the years passed, Theta was getting more and more tired of everything she did being antagonised. Most of the time, she wasn’t even trying to get into trouble, she was just following what her hearts told her. Theta didn’t understand why she had to be so heavily punished for going with her gut and not following the crowd. Didn’t she have a right to refuse orders that didn’t sit right with her? 

“Why don’t you want to handle a gun?” Borusa frowned, more in confusion than disappointment or anger. Theta shrugged. 

She couldn’t explain the real reason. So she’d settle for a half truth. 

“I don’t like the idea of handling something that could kill people. I don’t like being given that kind of choice, if you know what I mean.”

“Why not? You don’t trust yourself?”

“No, it’s not that.” She shook off. “It’s just- I’m a pacifist, I suppose. Guns just don’t sit right with me. I don’t want to be in the position where I could take lives, morally.”

“But all you would be doing is shooting Daleks. And that’s not bad, is it?” He asked, and Theta shrugged, staring at the ground. 

“I’d rather not shoot anything. And- that instructor was going on about how one less person with a gun meant at least five more Daleks, who could all do incredible damage. But- what about the already injured people? Who’s there to look after the wounded if everyone’s outside firing guns?” She asked, looking up at him. “But..she wouldn’t listen to me.”

“So, you would rather be a doctor, than a solider?” He asked. Theta frowned. 

“Well, if you put it like that then, yeah.” 

-

Like Theta had been expecting, she got off scot free. Borusa told her that he’d tell the instructor she’d gotten afterhourless for two weeks. But he said, that honestly, he respected Theta for sticking to her guns, and told her not to let anyone else knock her off doing it again. 

Theta had thanked him, and wandered back to her dorm. 

Koschei was waiting for her. 

“How did it go?” He asked quietly, as she closed the door behind her with a large sigh. 

“Fine. He let me off, told me he respected me for it.” She explained, pulling off her shoes and her cloak. Theta rolled her shoulders back. “Are you angry at me?” She asked quietly. 

“No.” Koschei sighed, running a hand over his face. “I’m just..tired, Theta. I don’t understand why you make it your goal to go against every rule set for you.”

“I don’t.” She shrugged, sitting down on her bed. “But if I disagree with it, I don’t want to go along with it. I want to follow my gut.”

“The guns today, though. We’re learning how to use them for a good reason. To defend others, and ourselves. Why don’t you want to do that?” 

Theta was getting very tired of repeating herself. 

“Because you can save people without guns. And I don’t want to touch anything like a gun, or a knife.”

“Why not?” He asked. Theta shot him a look. 

“You know why, Koschei.”

“But why should your personal beliefs outweigh the safety of others?” 

“What does it matter if one less person is holding a gun?” Theta asked sharply. “I could save more people helping the injured than firing a gun anyway.”

“I just don’t get it.” He sighed. “You could murder someone with a gun, or a knife, or your own bare hands. So how is holding one of those any different to just living your life using your hands? You do that just fine.” 

She set her jaw, and held up her hands to show how much they were shaking. 

“Clearly not well enough.” Theta muttered, shooting him a glare. 

“I offered to help you with that, and you said no. So don’t rub it in my face every time.” He shot back, with a roll of his eyes. Theta dropped her hands, and scowled across the room. 

“No, I will actually. When they prove my point. If I can’t live without the consequences of murdering someone with my bare hands, what makes you think that I would be any good with a gun or a knife? I’d probably freeze up anyway. I’m completely useless on that side of things. I’d be much more helpful somewhere else.” 

“No you wouldn’t. You’d be good at that kind of thing. You were always good at fighting, you’d probably be great with a gun.” Koschei pointed out. Theta huffed out sharply. 

“But I don’t want to be. Why do I have to explain myself so much, Koschei? I don’t want to handle a gun, so I’m not going too. That’s the end of that.” 

“Why do you get to decide though, Theta?” He stepped towards her. “Why have you decided you’re on some moral higher ground to the rest of us, where you get a choice and we don’t?” 

“I never did that!” Theta shot up, levelling with him. “Why are you making it my fault that people don’t want to think for themselves?” She took a deep breath out, trying to stop from tears pricking at her eyes. 

Theta didn’t cry when she was angry often, but now it was too much. 

She could deal with being yelled at and chastised by the instructor, and even Borusa. But not Koschei. He knew how much she struggled with mortality and what she’d done, and now she felt like he was antagonising her for something that she had just wanted to be able to step out of. 

“Koschei, you know how hard this has been on me. You know how much I’ve struggled because of Torvic. I- I wasn’t trying to lead an uprising, or start a revolution, or even prove a point! All I wanted to do was quietly step out of a situation that I was uncomfortable with. Why are you trying to make me feel like a terrible person for even doing that?” She asked, failing miserably at keeping her voice steady. “I hate myself enough as it is, all I wanted was for- for even once- to- to make a decision and be able to say that I did the right thing. To be able to look myself in the eye and say ‘I did a good thing today, and that makes me, even by a minuscule, less of a bad person.’

‘So, y’know what? If you’re not going to let me have that decision, and call it a win, then this one will be. I’m going to ask you to get out of my dorm, and leave me alone. Let me do this, at least, for myself.”

“Theta..” he sighed. 

“No, Koschei, I mean it. Please. Just please leave me alone for a while.” Theta glanced away as she felt the first tear spill down her cheek. Koschei stood, shifting on his feet for a moment and staring at her, clearly on the fence about what to do. And then he made his way towards the door, opening it. 

“I love you.” He said quietly. 

“I love you too.” She muttered, sniffling and wipingher eyes with a balled up fist. 

Koschei stood there for a moment longer, before closing the door behind him. 

-

Theta had, quite honestly, been crying, curled up on her bed for the two hours that followed. 

But by the time there was a knock on her door, her eyes were puffy and red, but relatively dry. She sighed deeply, shoving herself upward and fully preparing to bite Koschei’s head off. 

She threw open the door with a scowl, before it cleared at the sight of a rather scared looking Pewthru. 

“Oh- uh- sorry Pew’, I thought you were someone else. Is everything ok?” She asked, subconsciously trying to make it look a little less like she’d been crying. It didn’t do much. 

“Yeah. Sorry- is- is this a bad time?” Pewthru asked, frowning. Theta shook her head, stepping to the side and subtly wiping her nose with her sleeve as she let him in. 

Pewthru shifted on his feet nervously as she closed the door behind her. 

Theta honestly had no idea what the man could want. They were friendly, but Theta hardly saw him out of class, or other than at meals. This was new- seeking one another out. 

“What’s up, Pew’?” She asked, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. She didn’t think Pewthru was the kind of person to go after her, but she’d been hurt too much as it was, and it wasn’t even the end of the day. She wasn’t willing to risk it. 

“I just wanted to tell you- that- Uh- I thought what you did today was really noble.” He explained, staring more intently at the ground. Pewthru had always been timid, Theta was surprised he’d even worked up the courage to come and see her. “I wish I had the confidence to follow your lead.”

“Oh.” She said softly, dropping her arms. “Thank you, Pewthru. You’re the first one to think that I wasn’t being attention seeking.”

He glanced up, frowning and shaking his head firmly. 

“No, I don’t think that at all. I completely understand why you did it, I think it was really brave. If- If I didn’t care about strikes or anything, I would do it too.”

“Why do you care?” She asked, curiously. Pewthru shrugged, gaze shooting back to the carpet. 

“My family are very demanding. But- y’know- that’s besides the point.” He shook off, glancing up. “I just wanted you to know that I support what you’re doing. I’ve always really respected you for sticking with your gut, Theta. Even when you get yelled at.”’

“Thank you, Pewthru. That’s really what I needed to hear.” She smiled a little. And genuinely, it was. Even if one person agreed with her, believed in her, that gave Theta more than enough reason to keep rebelling. 

“It’s alright.” He smiled back, making his way towards the door. “I think, if you keep pushing, maybe one day, they’ll be more people like us. More people who can understand that violence isn’t the answer.”

“I’d like that.” Theta agreed quietly. “Less soldiers, more doctors.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys! Comments keep me motivated! ❤️❤️❤️


	68. Sixty-eight

Theta wasn’t sure what to do, by the time the end of the day rolled around. If she was honest, she still didn’t really want to talk to Koschei, but she didn’t want to have to brave the night alone, and she couldn’t bare the thought of Koschei struggling just because she was upset at him. 

So, in the end, she decided to pad her way down to his dorm, and knock on the door. Koschei opened it immediately, like he’d been waiting, and offered her a tiny smile. 

“Are you ok?” He asked. She nodded. 

“Yeah.” Theta glanced at the ground. Koschei seemed to remember himself a moment after, and stepped backward, letting her in. 

Theta stepped inside and he closed the door behind him, frowning a little. 

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked. Theta sighed, choosing to look out of his window into the night, rather than at him. 

“Yeah. A bit.”

“But you’re upset too.” He guessed. 

“Yeah.” Theta admitted. Koschei paused for a moment. 

“Can I say anything to make it better?” He asked quietly. She hesitated, before looking at him. 

“Did you mean it? What you said?” She asked quietly. “Do you really think I just did it to be a pain?” 

“No, Thee’. I’m sorry I said that, I just- I hate seeing you get yelled at, y’know? It upsets me, because I care about you. And that’s not an excuse for what I said, because it was bad. I know how much you’ve struggled, and I’m not here to judge whatever kind of thing you need to do to be able to live with what happened.” He said gently. 

The softness in his voice was almost enough to send Theta rushing back into his arms. He could be so soft when he wanted to be. So inviting, and warm. Like a cocoon. 

“And you mean that?” She frowned. “You’re not just saying that because it’s what I want to hear.”

“No, I promise. I’d never lie to you, my love, you know that.” He said gently. Theta couldn’t really stay away for much longer than that, even if she was angry at her lack of self control. 

She made up the space between them, and wrapped her arms around him, sighing deeply. He hugged back tightly. 

“I’m still angry.” She pointed out“I just..don’t want you to be alone at night.”

“You don’t have to do that for me, Thee’. If you really need some time away from me, I can manage.” 

She shook her head, and didn’t glance up at him. 

“No. I need you as much as you need me anyway.”

“Ok.” Koschei agreed, after a moment. “Do you wanna get some sleep?”

“Alright.” 

The two of them got sorted, and brushed their teeth, before clambering into Koschei’s bed. Theta curled up like usual, and lay awake. 

She was exhausted, but there were too many thoughts going through her head to be able to close her eyes and rest. 

Koschei seemed to share that mentality, because Theta was pretty sure he was awake. 

“Theta?” He asked quietly, after maybe an hour. She glanced up at him. 

“Mhm?”

“Do you think we argue more than we did when we were younger?” He asked. Theta shrugged a little, after a moment of thought. 

“A little bit, I guess. But, that’s not a bad thing. It probably wouldn’t be healthy if we never argued.”

“Why do you think we argue more than we did though?” He asked, and Theta paused. 

“Well..I think, when we were younger, we kind of bounced off of each other. But now..now we’re adults, and we have our own opinions on stuff, and they clash more. I mean, I know that when I was sixty, if you’d said something I disagreed with, I would’ve just gone along with it, and tried to convince myself you were right. I think I put you on a bit of a pedestal, which I shouldn’t have.”

“I think I did the same.” Koschei admitted, before frowning. “So you don’t think it’s a bad thing that we argue more now?”

“No. Because even though it is more often, it’s not like it’s a frequent occurrence. And it doesn’t change how much we love each other. If anything, it’s a good thing that we won’t just go along with what the other says anymore.”

Koschei was quiet for a long time, and Theta was beginning to think that that was the end of the conversation. 

“Do you love me as much as you did when we were younger?” He asked quietly. Theta looked up at him in surprise, before shifting to face him and pushing herself up onto her elbows. 

“Of course I do.” She said softly. “Why would you even ask that?”

“I don’t know,” he glanced down. “I just wanted to make sure.” 

Theta put a hand to his cheek, and Koschei glanced back at her. 

“If anything I love you more. Koschei, you’re my entire world, you know that. You are more than anything I have ever known. I’d do anything for you.” 

“No you wouldn’t.” He smiled a little, and she nodded.

“I would.”

“No you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t kill anyone again.” He pointed out, as an example. Theta didn’t hesitate. 

“If it was for you, I would.” She said quietly. Koschei’s eyes snapped back to hers, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“No you wouldn’t.” He said, almost in disbelief. Theta glanced down, and he put his hands on her cheeks. “Say that again?” He asked, still sounding completely caught off guard. “I don’t believe you.” 

Theta swallowed, and looked him in the eye. 

“I would murder someone else for you.” She whispered. 

Koschei blinked at her for a moment, eyes bright, before he pushed upwards, and kissed her deeply. 

Theta was completely caught off guard, and hesitated for a second, before kissing him back. Koschei wasted no time in flipping the two of them over, and caressing Theta’s cheeks like she was the most beautiful and intricate of china. 

If she was honest, she couldn’t remember why she’d been angry at him, or even really that she had been. It didn’t matter anymore anyway. 

All that mattered, in the end, was that Koschei was with her, and that he loved her, in any capacity at all. She would’ve loved him with every fibre of her being, even if it meant that only the smallest part of him loved her back. All Theta wanted, was for him to love her, even if it was only a flicker. A single cell in his body. It would’ve been enough for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Points to whoever can spot the repeated phrase 👀


	69. Sixty-nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahey 69 ;)

“Alright! Now today, we will be learning how to use knives.” The instructor explained. Theta sighed. 

Brilliant. Another day of being yelled at. 

“Now, you might think that knives aren’t useful when it comes to Dalek’s, but I am about to prove that very wrong.” She marched over to what looked like a diagram of a Dalek’s armour. “The knives we have, are constantly electrically charged with the right frequency, to completely lock and jam a Dalek’s circuitry. So, if you get it here,” she pointed to the section between the head and the main body of the Dalek, “you will have a very good chance of rendering it’s armour completely useless. Now, are there any questions, before I get started on showing you how to best handle them?” 

Theta didn’t bother. Surprisingly however, Pewthru did. 

“How are we supposed to get this close to a Dalek?” He asked quietly. “Since they can shoot us from quite far away, and even if we go from behind, they can turn around too quickly to get there.” 

“Yes, well,” the instructor sighed a little. “Obviously, this isn’t ideal. Using knives is not the ideal way to take out Daleks, but it’s more of a back up plan, if something happens to your blaster.”

‘It’s a suicide mission.’ Theta grumbled across their bond, and Koschei acknowledged it, before sending back agreement. 

“Now! Let’s get started!” 

They were rounded into small groups, and taught how to handle the knife, and how to best stab the Dalek. From what Theta could tell, the plan was generally, ‘just hope for the best’, which she just couldn’t get behind. 

After that, they were asked to get into pairs, and one of them was given a knife. Koschei took it. 

The task was for the one with the knife, to try and get it into the ground past the other person. Said person’s job was to disarm the one with the knife. 

Theta supposed she could do that. 

Koschei frowned for a moment, glancing around her and clearly trying to figure out the best way to get around her. 

He stepped forward, testing what she’d do. Theta didn’t move. 

“You’re not getting past me, Kos’.” She reassured. He shrugged. 

“I dunno, I’m pretty good at getting past you in tag.”

“We’ll see.” She watched his feet, over his hands, or his eyes. The feet told her which way he was planning to move, far better than his eyes did. 

Koschei dodged to the left, before switching back and ducking in front of her. 

Theta wasn’t having any of that however, and dropped even lower to him, sweeping a leg under the only foot he had on the ground, since the other was still pushing off of the left. 

Koschei swore and crashed to the ground, the knife spinning out of his hand. Theta stopped it with her foot, and glanced at the instructor, who was regarding her with narrowed eyes. 

Theta kicked the knife out of the way, holding a hand out and helping Koschei back up. He took it and let himself be pulled up, brushing himself down. 

“You’re good at that.” He complimented. Theta shrugged a little. 

“Thank you.”

“Alright! Now switch over!” The instructor called. Koschei shrugged, and picked up the knife again. 

“I’ll try again.” He offered. Theta threw him a small smile, and moved back into position. Koschei was about to move when the instructor stalked over, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You two, I said switch over.” She said pointedly. Theta nodded. 

“We heard.” 

The woman pursed her lips. 

“Theta, are you corrupting one of my best student’s chances of learning proper self defence? Do you know how good he was with a blaster?”

“Yes, I do.” Theta confirmed. “But it’s not up to me what he does.” 

The woman scowled at her, like Theta had just punched her in the face, before turning to Koschei. 

“What’s your name?” She asked. 

“Koschei.” 

“Come with me.” She demanded. “Theta, go and watch someone else do it. They’ll show you how it’s supposed to be done.” The woman stalked off, with Koschei in tow, who gave her a wink and a smile before following. 

That made Theta feel a little better, like Koschei wasn’t mad at her, before she wandered off over to Rethra and Sanfej. 

“Hey guys.”

“Hey Thee’,” Rethra stood back up, out of breath. “What’s up?”

“The instructor stole Koschei, so now I’m watching other people do it.” She explained. Sanfej laughed a little. 

“Why did she steal him?” 

“I don’t know, probably to give him a lecture about how much of a bad influence I am.” Theta shrugged, pocketing her hands. Rethra sighed, passing the knife to Sanfej and switching places with him. 

“I mean, I have got to give it to you Theta, I don’t think I would’ve stuck with my gut if I got yelled at even half as much as you did.” She explained, lurching to the right as Sanfej dipped in the same direction, before immediately lunging to the left. Rethra cursed and tried to follow him, but Sanfej had already gotten half way past her, and dove forward to plunge the knife in the ground. “God, you’re good at that, babe.” She smiled breathlessly, and Sanfej smiled back a little. 

“Thanks.”

Theta watched them take it in turns to dodge and lunge at each other. Really, they were pretty evenly matched, if Sanfej only just had the higher ground. 

Eventually though, Theta turned to see Koschei and the woman stalking back towards them, both scowling. She frowned deeply as the woman started barking more orders at them, and Koschei made his way over. 

Theta hesitantly reached out and took his hand, squeezing it in a silent question about his wellbeing. Koschei shook his head. 

After a few minutes of being yelled at, the group were set off on another task and Koschei picked up the knife again, the two of them moving to look as if they were doing what they were supposed to. 

“What’s wrong?” Theta asked. Koschei huffed. 

“That bitch, the shit she was saying about you, it took everything I had not to deck her in the face.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t.” She said softly. “It’s ok. I guess I’m just not a very likeable person.”

“But it shouldn’t matter, even if she likes you or not. For starters, that’s so fucking unprofessional. You can’t just talk shit about someone from your class in front of another student.”

“She’s certainly not trained as a professor.” Theta agreed, “what happened?”

“Right, so basically, she asked me if we were friends and I said yes. Then she asked me if we were more than friends, and I said yes. She started going on about how she could tell I had so much potential, that I could be a great solider and that I shouldn’t let your ‘ridiculous policies’ get in the way of being strong and trained. So I told her that I didn’t think they were ridiculous, and I said if she wanted to get anywhere with you, that shouting at you wasn’t the way to do it. Because I wanted to stop her yelling at you.”

“Thank you.” Theta smiled a little. 

“It’s ok. Anyway, then she started going on about how she thought you were only saying all of that stuff so you didn’t have to do it, because she thought you weren’t athletically inclined enough. Then she started saying maybe you’re just a coward, who can’t tell left from right.” He glared at the ground for a moment. 

“That’s a new one.” She considered. 

“So, I asked her what we were doing next week, and she said we were doing an obstacle course.” 

“I can do that!” Theta grinned. 

“I know you can darling, that’s why I asked. So then I told her that maybe, instead of putting school children down for not wanting to be trained like soldiers, she should be out there helping get rid of the Dalek’s herself. And then I walked off.” 

Theta raised an eyebrow. 

“That’s all you said?” 

“Yep.” Koschei said to the ground. Theta crossed her arms over her chest. “Ok fine, I may have also threatened to punch her teeth out if she said that shit about you again.”

“Koschei!”

“What?” He looked up at her. “She deserved it!”

“I bet she took it really well too.” She rolled her eyes exasperatedly. 

“Not really.” Koschei admitted. “She asked me if I was threatening her, and I said..’duh’.”

“Oh my god.” 

“Then she threatened to have me expelled as well, so I pulled the old ‘check my second name and make that threat again’ move. And then I left.”

“Right well, I can safely say on a scale of how well that conversation could’ve gone from one to ten, that was a solid two.”

“Hey, I’d put it at at least a seven, since neither of us got expelled.”

“Yet.” 

“No one’s perfect.” 


	70. Seventy

Theta woke up first. 

She could already hear the people around her getting up, but Koschei didn’t seem to be stirring, so she decided, that that day was as good as any to not turn up to class. 

She shifted upward slightly, pushing the hair back from his face with one hand gently, and running the other down his cheek. 

He stirred slightly and shifted, wrapping his arms tighter around Theta and pulling her closer to his chest. She smiled a little, resting one arm over his collarbones and pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Theta watched his face carefully, which looked pretty peaceful when he was asleep. Koschei wasn’t one for huge facial expression, and Theta imagined he was quiet difficult to read from a strangers point of view. 

She didn’t mind though. She thought Koschei was amazing just how he was. Not perfect, not by a long stretch. But a good man, and an intelligent one. 

And a very pretty one, if Theta was asked. 

He stirred when she pressed another delicate kiss to his forehead, shifting his arms and opening his eyes as he pulled Theta closer again. 

She wrapped both arms around his neck as he did so, pressing a kiss to his jaw. 

“Good morning.” She said softly. Koschei hummed, stretching his legs out and his head upward. Then he glanced down at her again, smiling a little, and pulling her flush to his chest. 

“It is a good morning whenever I wake up to see you.”

“Hmm, too bad I’d consider it a good morning whenever I don’t have to listen to your sap.” Theta smiled at him. Koschei rolled his eyes. 

“You’re such a liar, you love my sap. And waking up in my arms.”

“Got me there,” Theta yawned, shifting and tucking her head under his chin. “Don’t think I’ll ever be able to sleep without you.”

“Well that’s certainly mutual, so I suggest we stick together.” Koschei scoffed. Theta’s head popped back up, and she grinned at him. “What?”

“You’re pretty, that’s all. When you’re asleep, and awake.” 

“Oh, thank you.” Koschei smiled after a moment of consideration. “It’s mutual, don’t worry. A lot of mornings I just wake up and look at you. Like, ‘look at this angel. What’s she doing in my arms? What did I do to deserve that?’”

“Oh my god.” Theta groaned with a smile, pulling up her hand and covering his eyes with it. “You are a liability.”

Koschei smiled and tried to pull her hand away. She let him, and he switched to holding it. 

“You like it.” He shrugged, and Theta rolled her eyes, leaning up to kiss him. 

“Maybe a little bit.”

Theta kissed him gently, and Koschei smiled, letting go of her hand to wrap his arms around her shoulders and kiss her back. 

She cupped his neck with one hand and ran the other over his cheek delicately, smiling a little. 

Koschei deepened the kiss, and Theta melted into it, more than happy to just lay there and lazily kiss him all day. 

And then there was a knock at the door. 

Theta pulled back just enough to groan, before she pushed herself up out of bed, much to Koschei’s annoyance. 

She stalked over to the door, and threw it open. 

Rethra was standing there, panting. That caught Theta’s curiosity. 

“What’s up, Reth’?” She asked. 

“Sorry,” the other woman panted. “I know you probably weren’t planning on coming to class today but...I think you’re going to want to see this.” 

-

They followed Rethra across the campus, Theta frowning at her obvious floundering. 

She wouldn’t tell them anything, insisting it was better to just show them. 

Koschei frowned, and took her hand. 

Rethra lead them towards the dining hall, that had now finally become a dining hall again, and pushed open the doors. 

There were hundreds of people in there, most that Theta had never seen before. 

“What the..?” 

Rethra turned to face them. 

“Another Academy got destroyed by the Dalek’. It’s much worse than this one though, so they moved all the students here.”

“Have we even got space for that?” Koschei murmured, frowning at the new arrivals. 

“I don’t know.” Rethra admitted. “But now our class has got like twenty more people in it, and I know we’ve not got that room.”

“But..like, will they be going back once their academy’s fixed?” Theta asked. Rethra sighed. 

“That’s the thing. They told us that they’ve been given a choice. Either go back when it’s ready, or stay here. Apparently the professors are open to both, so that students who can’t deal with a lot of change, get the option to not move around again.” 

“But there’s no way we have the room for that many students.” Theta repeated, shaking her head. Rethra shrugged. 

“I know. I can’t see how this is going to go at all.” 

“Not a bad thing entirely.” Koschei shrugged, glancing at Theta. “More students, less chance of anyone spotting that we’re not there.” 

Theta frowned a little, before nodding. 

“I guess.”

“Come on,” Rethra interrupted. “You should come meet a few of the people that are gonna be in class with us.” She began to trek and push past people to get to their usual table, which by the looks of things had four extra people. “They seem nice enough. More similar to you than any of us though.” She called over her shoulder. 

Theta and Koschei followed, pushing and slipping through the crowd to get to their table. 

“Hi! I got them!” Rethra smiled widely when they got there, and gestured at Theta and Koschei. 

Theta smiled a small smile at the three men and one woman that were looking them up and down. “This is Theta and Koschei. Guys, this is,” she pointed at the first man. “Drax,” the woman, “Ushas,” then the third man, “Mortimus,” and then the fourth man, “and Magnus!” 

“Hi!” Theta smiled, “it’s nice to have you here. I’m just sorry it can’t be under better circumstances.” She put out a hand and shook theirs respectively. 

“That’s ok,” Ushas shrugged. “Thank you for having us here. We know it couldn’t have been easy letting this many people into your home. Especially after an attack of your own.”

“Well,” Theta shrugged. “We’ve got the space. Why not use it for some good?”

They all managed to squish onto the few benches for what was easily the most unorganised and chaotic breakfast Theta had ever experienced. 

“So what happened?” Sanfej asked, calling up the table. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“We don’t.” Magnus spoke for the collective, apparently. Maybe he was the leader, Theta supposed. “We were just in class. I mean- everyone had been pretty skittish for a while, because we’d heard about the attack here, but we had a couple guards so we didn’t think they’d actually try it.” He paused to swallow his food. “We heard this really loud crash, and a whole classroom had come down like, four rooms up. We all ran in different directions, tried to get to safety.”

“Some of us tried to get people out of the classroom.” Drax butted in. “Wasn’t easy though.” 

“Well yeah.” Magnus shrugged. “It took forever for anyone to get there. By the time they did, all of our dorms were gone, and like five hundred kids were dead.”

“Shit.” Koschei muttered. 

“So now we’re here.” Magnus gestured around them. 

“And we’re very happy to have you here.” Lareth chirped politely. He smiled at her. 

“Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that, the gang was all here


	71. Seventy-one

Classes ended up being cancelled that day, and instead, students had to show their new guests around, help them get schedules, check that they had dorms to go back to, and that they were moved in. 

Theta offered to help this new group, and Koschei, who would’ve obviously much rather spent the day lazing about with her, begrudgingly tagged along. 

“So, what do you like to do for fun around here?” Ushas asked, as Theta lead them towards the dorm building, staring at a list of their rooms that had been hastily scribbled onto some paper by some stressed out admin. 

“Oh, y’know, read. Run. Skip class if we feel like it.” She answered absently, frowning as she tried to remember where room 47G was. “Koschei likes to experiment.”

“Really?” Ushas perked up, glancing at him. “I love to experiment.” She grinned. He raised an eyebrow. 

“What kind of thing?” He asked. Ushas crossed the group to fall into step with him, immediately unfurling into a tumble of descriptions on chemistry. She was intelligent, Theta could tell by her eyes. 

She glanced back, and smiled a little. Koschei seemed thoroughly invested in what she was saying, boredom now long gone from his face. She glanced back at the paper. 

“Where the hell is it?” Theta muttered, frowning at the paper. 

“Everything ok?” The quietest out of the group stepped towards her. Theta thought she remembered his name being Mortimus, but he hadn’t exactly established himself in her mind. 

“Yeah,” she reassured. “I’m just trying to remember which building this room’s in. I think it’s the second one but- could be wrong. Don’t tend to pay attention to things that don’t need paying attention too. Like..y’know, rooms that aren’t mine. Then again, I suppose it could be argued that everything needs paying attention to, because everything is important to someone- sorry,” Theta cut herself off. “Tangent. I do that.”

“No, it’s ok,” he smiled a little. “Your brain sounds like an interesting place to be.” She scoffed. 

“You have no idea.” Theta turned on her heel towards the second dorm building. “Here! I think this is it!” She spun on her foot to walk backwards up the stairs to the door, frowning. “Kos’, this is where room 47G is, right?” 

“Uhh-“ he frowned for a moment. “Yeah, should be.” 

“Do you guys even know your way around this place?” Magnus laughed loudly. Huh. He was loud. Definitely the leader. 

Theta wondered if she got along with leaders. She got along with Rethra, and Koschei was a leader. So was she though, and Theta didn’t get along with herself. 

Maybe Magnus would be an exception to her rule. She hoped not, still. Theta liked getting on with people. 

“We do, but y’know how it is. You have a schedule, you go from your dorm, to the school building and back. That’s about it.” Theta explained, pushing open the door and leading the group up the stairs. 

“This place is a lot grander than ours.” Mortimus admitted quietly. Theta glanced at him. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, glancing at the high ceiling. 

“It’s not all that really,” she shrugged. “Professors are still crusty.” He laughed a little. 

“How’s the Jurist?” Drax piped up. Ushas stopped her rambling to listen to that. The Jurist was important, everyone spent a lot of time with them. Theta scrunched up her nose. 

“His name’s Borusa. He’s...interesting. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a lot more understanding than some of the professors, but he’ll teach you some weird shit. And he’s not above blackmailing you to get what he wants.”

“What?” Mortimus’ eyebrows shot up. “Why don’t you report that?” 

Theta smirked a little, finally coming to the door and picking up the key that had been left on the floor. She unlocked it, and shrugged. 

“Because then he’d report all the times I’d blackmailed him.” She explained, leaning on the door as she pushed it open. “Drax, if you would be so kind,” she gestured towards the room, “your palace awaits.” 

Drax stepped past her into the room, followed by the other three new arrivals. Koschei took up the rear, stopping besides his girlfriend. 

“This place is huge.” Drax muttered. 

“Is it?” Theta frowned, glancing around. 

“Bigger than the last place we had.” Magnus confirmed, circling the room slowly. “No way am I going back to the Academy. This is way nicer.” 

Ushas gasped. 

“You guys have bathrooms coming off of your rooms?” The other three made various noises of disbelief, all crowding after her into the bathroom. 

‘What do you think?’ Theta asked, pressing gently curiosity across their bond. Koschei shrugged beside her. 

‘They’re nice enough. Not sure about that Magnus guy. But, I feel a bit bad for them.’

‘Why is this place so much nicer than their last?’ She asked. It was pretty rhetorical, Theta wasn’t expecting him to have the answer. Koschei shot her a look that asked her how she didn’t know. 

‘Because they’re further from the Citadel, Thee’. Y’know, further out, the poorer. This academy’s really for the richer kids.’ He explained. Theta frowned at him. 

‘I’m not rich. What the hell am I doing here?’

‘You know, I have always wondered that.’ He admitted, before shrugging. ‘Still, glad you are.’ 

‘Thanks.’ She scoffed, pulling herself gently back out of his head, and poking hers around the corner to see the four of them finally emerging from the bathroom. 

“Ok, so how about we show the rest of you your rooms, then we go get your possessions?” Theta suggested. 

They glanced at Magnus, who shrugged. 

“Sure. Sounds good.”

-

It didn’t take long to get around and show everyone else their rooms. Then they went back to the tram station, where possessions had been left for collection, and picked up the few bags each person had. 

Theta was amazed at how unorganised this was, since the bags could’ve been taken be literally anyone, and it made her wonder how badly organised their actual classes would be when they started them again. 

Not that she particularly cared. 

“So you mentioned that you skip class?” Magnus said, as they were helping unpack Ushas’ things. Theta nodded. 

“On the off. Why?”

“We did that too.” He shrugged. “On the off, of course.”

“If it’s not a science, I’m not going.” Ushas scoffed, putting a book on her shelf.

“I tend to skip literature studies. And Gallifreyan. Anything that’s not maths, or tech.” Drax explained. “You guys have tech here, right?”

“Yeah.” Theta reassured. 

“Mort’ doesn’t come out with us a lot.” He continued after a smile. “Grade A,” he said, hushed. “But still, he keeps the secret about where we go and how we leave so he’s alright in my books.” Drax nudged Mortimus, which was more like a friendly shove, given the height and weight between them. 

Drax was a broader, taller and more muscular man in the arms, probably because of all the tech he was doing, if Theta had to guess. However, Mortimus was skinnier, and lankier, much like Theta, but just without the arm muscles. 

“Thanks.” Mortimus muttered, rolling his eyes. 

“Hey, give him some credit. He comes out with us on lessonless days.” Ushas grinned. 

“I didn’t realise that was where the bar was.” Drax scoffed back. 

“Only thing I won’t skip is Gov and Pol.” Magnus said as the other three continued their bickering. “What do you guys like to skip?”

“Pretty much anything.” Theta shrugged. “We’re not exactly big on the Gallifreyan education system.” 

That caught their attention. 

“What do you mean?” Ushas frowned a little, more in curiosity than skepticism. Theta shrugged a little, glancing at Koschei. She didn’t want to say anything that he didn’t want anyone else knowing. But he shrugged so Theta felt it was ok to proceed. 

“Well, I don’t know. We just feel like- like it’s suffocating. Y’know, we grow up and we become time lords. We live for thousands of years, we have ships that can go anywhere in time and space, and we stay here. We don’t intervene. And we’re taught about propriety, and etiquette. For what? What is the point? There are universes out there, so much to see, that even someone with lives as long as ours can’t see it all. So why are we wasting all of these years that we could have seeing the most beautiful of things, stuck up in a dingy building, learning about how to solve equations?” 

They stared at her for a moment, a slight smile on Ushas’ face. 

“I could not have put it better myself.” The other woman grinned. Theta blinked. 

“Really?”

“That’s how we’ve felt, for years.” Magnus nodded with a smile. “We thought it was just us.”

“So did we.” Koschei nodded a little at Theta, who glanced back at him with a large smile. 

“Guess the universe isn’t as cruel as we thought then. Putting all of us together might just be a good thing.” Magnus grinned. 


	72. Seventy-two

“Theta?” Came a relatively quiet voice beside her, from where Theta was piling books onto Magnus’ shelf.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” she turned to Mortimus, who smiled back. 

“You couldn’t show me where the library is, could you?” He asked. Theta nodded. 

“Mhm! Now?”

“I mean..not if it’s inconvenient for you- I just thought, since we were nearly done.”

“Yeah no, that’s fine.” She reassured. “I’m gonna show Mortimus the library.” Theta announced to the rest of the room. “We’ll see you at dinner.” She aimed that at Koschei, who raised an eyebrow. 

‘Do you want me to come?’ He shot across to her. Theta rolled her eyes fondly. 

‘Stay here,’ she followed Mortimus out the room. ‘I know you want to keep talking to Ushas.’

‘Ok. I’ll see you at dinner. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Theta cut off the conversation gently, and lead Mortimus down the stairs. 

“So,” she smiled a little. “What kind of thing do you like to read?”

“Me?” Mortimus considered it for a moment. “Anything really. I like literature. And science. What about you?”

“I like animals.” Theta grinned. “Insects to be precise.”

“Funny creatures,” he considered. “Overlooked. But an ecosystem would fail without them.” 

Theta could already tell that they were going to get along. 

“Exactly. And they’re adapted in such a different way, to overcome the odds that come with them being so small. It’s incredible if you take the time to look at the details.” She explained, gesticulating excitedly. Mortimus nodded with a large smile. 

“I know right. I think the big pictures overrated. The small things that everyone misses are the most important. The life cycles, the heartbeats- the- the inhales and exhales that are the cogs in the machine. That keep everything working. It’s fascinating and overlooked.” 

Theta stopped dead, blinking at him with a look of utter disbelief on her face. Mortimus frowned a little, worry lining his eyes. 

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“I’ve never known anyone who feels that way.” Theta said quietly. “The same way I do. And- and you described it so eloquently,” he grinned and she beamed back, continuing with a skip in her step. “I’ve been trying to find the words to explain it like that for decades. Trying to make Koschei understand the way I see it. You said it so beautifully.”

“Thank you.” He smiled a little, eyes light and out of their shell finally. “You’re the only person I’ve ever met who understands what I mean, fully.”

“I’m honoured.” She laughed, stopping as they came up to the library. “Here we go. Some of it got destroyed in the attack, but it’s in pretty good shape now.” She reassured, pushing open the door. 

Mortimus followed her in, and his mouth dropped to the floor. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” He whispered. 

“Big?” Theta guessed. 

“Huge. The one we had was..like five aisles.”

“Well, now you can read to your two hearts content.” she smiled, pocketing her hands. He glanced back at her. 

“How many of these have you read?”

“God, I don’t know,” Theta shrugged a little. “Maybe four fifths.”

“Well..” Mortimus glanced back at the shelves. “What would you recommend?”

-

Theta ended up quickly showing Mortimus around all of the sections, and pointing out where the best books in said sections were, before they headed down to meet the others at dinner. 

“So, tell me about yourself Theta.” He smiled a little as they left the library. 

“There’s not much to know really.” She scoffed. 

“Well..what about your family?” He asked. Theta shot him a look, and Mortimus dropped back. “Ah. Sorry.”

“It’s ok.” She smiled genuinely. “I’m honestly not very interesting.”

“What’s your favourite insect?” He asked. Theta hummed in consideration, before grinning. 

“Probably the butterfly.”

“Why?”

“I just think they’re fascinating. How something can be so small and live for such a short amount of time, and still evolution has made the choice to make them incredibly colourful and beautiful. Not like moths, which honestly make more sense-“ Mortimus watched Theta ramble about butterflies the rest of the way to the dinner hall, eyes wide with curiosity and a new, fond smile on his face. 

Eventually, they got to dinner and picked their way across the crowd. Theta sat down next to Koschei, and Mortimus shuffled his way across the table to sit next to Ushas, who was describing a chemical reaction to Koschei in great detail. He was listening intently, but turned and smiled at Theta when she sat down, squeezing her hand a little under the table. 

“Ushas, don’t you think you’ve talked enough about your experiments today?” Magnus sighed. “We only met Koschei today, you’ve probably scared him to no end.” He rolled his eyes. Koschei shook his head. 

“Nah, don’t worry. I like it.”

“Exactly.” Ushas huffed pointedly, sending a scowl across the table at Magnus. “So shut it.” Then she glanced to her left. “Hey Mort’. Library any good?”

“It’s huge.” He admitted. “I’ve never seen so many books in one place.”

“Maybe we’ll have to check it out after dinner.” She shrugged. Drax shook his head. 

“You can, I’m going for a look around campus.” He turned to Koschei and Theta. “Is there any water here?”

Theta frowned in confusion. 

“Yeah? We have a temporary water system in place until we can get the old one up and running, but it works just fine.”

“No, no I mean-“ Drax paused, trying to figure out the word. “Back at our place, we used to hang out by this pond. Y’know, it was nice to hear nature and stuff, Mort’ was kinda obsessed with it. Got anything like that?” 

Theta’s throat tightened, and she didn’t trust herself to speak. Koschei was clearly well aware of this fact, like he always was, and took it in his stride. 

Why couldn’t Theta do that? She took everything else in her stride, why not this? She just needed to pull herself together. It had gotten ridiculous a long time ago. 

“There’s a brook.” Koschei shrugged. “But it’s on Lower campus, they’re really the people who use it. It’s pretty far from here, but I guess if you were willing to do the trek you could go.”

“You couldn’t show me after dinner?” Drax asked. 

“I’ll come too, actually. Library can wait.” Ushas decided. 

“I’ll come.” Magnus shrugged. 

“Me too.” Mortimus chirped. “Are you gonna come, Theta?” He asked hopefully. 

Theta, now firmly on the spot, swallowed tightly and shifted in her seat. She just needed to get over it. She moved her trembling hands to her lap where she squeezed them together tightly, and glanced down. 

Koschei sent across a gentle reassurance. 

‘You don’t have too.’ He reminded her. 

“Yeah!” She forced on a large smile. “Sure, why not? Could do with the walk.” She shrugged, one hand coming up to take a large swig of water and the other clamping around Koschei’s under the table. 

-

After dinner, as promised, Koschei lead them down to the brook. It was a long walk, and the whole way there Theta talked to Mortimus, about his life and his favourite insects. 

She liked him, and would’ve loved to talk to him about it in different circumstances, but in that moment, all Theta wanted to do was hold Koschei’s hand. 

However, he was leading the group, and there was no way Theta was going to be at the front, so she and Mortimus had taken up the rear. 

When the group stopped moving, and Mortimus stopped talking, the sound of rushing water filled Theta’s ears, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than for him to keep speaking. 

It was all she could hear, and it was making Theta feel sick to her stomach. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she desperately reached out to Koschei. 

‘Can you come and hold my hand please?’ Theta probably let a little too much desperation slip into that than she was proud enough to give, but at that point she didn’t care. 

Theta opened her eyes again, and saw the other three wander off towards the brook. Mortimus stayed with her though, frowning in what looked like concern with a hand on her back. He was saying something, but Theta couldn’t hear it. 

All she could hear was the water, and her own hearts. They were beating so fast, and it wasn’t fair that they were beating at all. She didn’t deserve that. Why did they beat? She didn’t want them too. She didn’t deserve that. 

The water was roaring in her ears. It hurt. It beat her. She deserved that. 

Theta felt like she was drowning. She couldn’t do this. Why had she even come in the first place? She was drowning and she couldn’t breathe and-

Koschei’s hand in hers sent waves of anxiety and panic tumbling into his mind before Theta could stop them. She quickly yanked it back into her own head, but she still watched him wince. 

Still, it wasn’t as loud now. 

“I think somethings wrong.” Mortimus frowned concernedly. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it. Go with the others, see the brook.”

“But I-“

“Go with the others, Mortimus, I can handle this.” Koschei instructed, in a tone that left no room for argument, in even the most confident people, let alone Mortimus. 

He frowned at her one more time, obvious worry on his face, before he scarpered off after Ushas. 

Koschei took his back to them and wrapped his arms tightly around Theta. 

She tried to even out her breathing as she felt his own steady breath beneath her, and the languid beats of his heart next to her ear. 

Theta listened, and tried to pretend the water wasn’t there. That was made a lot easier when Koschei put a hand over the ear that wasn’t pressed to his chest. 

Achingly slowly, Theta relaxed against him. Her hands stopped trembling, more than they usually did, and her breathing finally evened out. 

“Fuck.” She muttered, finally prying her head from him and glancing down at the floor. “Koschei, I thought I could do this.” 

“You did do it.” He said gently, putting a gentle hand on her cheek. “No one said it was going to be easy, but you still did it. You’re here, aren’t you?”

“..yeah, but-“

“That’s enough.” He reassured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Baby steps, my darling. They’re better then no steps at all.”


	73. Seventy-three

“So, run it by me again.” Magnus frowned. “It’s self defence?” The tram rattled. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Koschei nodded. “I mean- more learning how to be a solider. Guns, knives, that kind of thing. Today we’re doing an obstacle course though.”

“And this instructor hates you, why?” Ushas raised an eyebrow at Theta, who sighed. 

“Because I refuse to touch a weapon.” 

Ushas sat back, regarding her with narrowed eyes and a look up and down. 

“Why?” She asked, clearly suspicious.

“Because I don’t believe in violence of any kind. I can help more people treating injuries than I can shooting guns.”

“What makes you say that?” Ushas clearly wasn’t convinced, obviously suspicious that it was a cover up for some kind of hierarchical thinking. Theta held up her palms. 

“Shaky hands.” 

Ushas shot forward from where she had been leaning back, grabbing one of Theta’s hands and inspecting it. 

“Woah. That’s crazy. Why do they do that?”

“Always have.” Theta lied. She pretended not to notice the way Mortimus’ eyes bore into her from her left side. 

Ushas let go of her hand, to watch it tremble for a moment, before she turned it over to look at the other side. 

“Fascinating.” She muttered, glancing at Koschei. “Koschei, what do you think?” 

He shrugged a little. 

“I’ve tried doing experiments, nothing I’ve tried has got me to work it out, it’s not worth wasting your time.” Theta appreciated the obvious effort he was putting in, in trying to stop others using her as a science experiment. “My guess, trauma when Theta was really little, that she can’t even remember, caused it.”

“Hmm.” Ushas hummed. “That would make sense. Could be something else though.”

“I don’t really care.” Theta pulled her hands out of the other woman’s grip and collected them in her lap. “I’ve always lived with it, I’m not about to stop now.” She shrugged. “Just means I can’t shoot straight.” 

-

“Alright!” The instructor positioned the group in front of a large obstacle course. Luckily enough for Theta, it looked to be mostly climbing based, which she was more than happy with. “Today, not only do I welcome more of you young souls into training that will save your life one day, but I welcome you with an obstacle course! 

‘We’re not looking for speed here, although it is ideal. We are looking for the mental ability to overcome, and finish the course at all! We are looking for the individual to be able to get through what may be broken buildings, or streets, alone and with some kind of stealth and pace!” 

That sounded easy enough to Theta. 

“As always, I will release you in waves! Get into lines of four, the first wave will go on my whistle! This is, for those of you that think you want a challenge, a race for the best time! However I imagine, for the most of you, getting through the entire course will be an achievement in itself! Now, get into position!” 

The group shuffled into lines, which Theta ended up near the back of with Koschei. 

The instructor moved backwards, and spotted her.

“Theta, come here.” She demanded. Theta sighed, gave Koschei a tight smile, and ducked under the group to make her way over. When she was next to her, the instructor blew her whistle loudly, and the first wave began. 

It hurt Theta’s ears, but she didn’t wince. 

“So, you’ve decided you want to do this one, have you?” She put her hands on her hips. “I suppose you get to pick and choose what activities you want to do?”

“It’s looking that way.” Theta admitted. “But if you want to stop me that’s fine.”

“No!” She scowled at Theta. “You’ll do it. But I want you to wait until everyone else is finished, and do it on your own.”

She supposed this was supposed to be some kind of punishment, but Theta didn’t really see it like that. 

“Ok.” She agreed. 

“And I will time you. If your time is higher than one minute thirty seconds, I will keep you here, and you will run it again, and again, and again, until you’re down past that number. Are we clear?” She practically growled. Theta actually had to stop herself from smiling. 

“Crystal.” 

“Then go and wait at the back.”

Theta watched the first wave of people as she wandered to the back of the line. They’d gotten over the first log hurdle, and were now trying to jump over the second, which was about twice the first one’s height. 

‘What happened?’ Koschei asked, from a couple of rows in front. 

‘She’s making me do it last, on my own. If my times slower than a minute thirty I’ve got to do it again until it’s not. I’m not worried about it.’ She reassured. Koschei let out a little amusement. 

‘That might just be the greatest punishment you’ve ever gotten.’

‘It’s up there.’ She smiled. 

They left one another alone then, to watch the very slow moving course. 

Pewthru had no hope. Theta liked him, but could safely say that this was not his thing. Still, Kathla and Lareth helped him up and over, and they finished it together after what she was sure was a gruelling twenty minutes for them. 

Theta thought Sanfej would’ve been a lot better than he was, but Rethra seemed to be the one with the knack for it. She helped him out when he needed it, and they finished it in about ten minutes. 

Mortimus insisted that he didn’t want help, and slowly but surely, he got over it in about ten minutes too, which Theta thought was pretty good without anyone helping him. 

Clearly, Ushas spent more time experimenting than she did exercising, and Mortimus ended up having to help her at a point, when she just couldn’t get over a wall. She finished it in about twelve minutes. 

Drax wasn’t fast, but his upper body strength was obvious. He finished it in the fastest time Theta had seen, which was about five minutes. She was very impressed. 

Magnus was pretty level with upper and lower body strength if Theta’s observation served her correctly, and finished in what she knew could’ve been a quicker time if he’d wanted one, at about six minutes. 

Koschei left them all in the dirt. He was over everything like a shot, albeit, a slightly slower shot than Theta would’ve been, and finished with the fastest time, by a long mile. Two and a half minutes. 

Theta knew she was faster, but by a whole minute? Did this woman set her an impossible task on purpose? Theta imagined the answer, wasn’t no. 

‘God you’re fast.’ Theta grinned, as the last wave shot off. Koschei shrugged at the other end. 

‘It’s not that hard actually. You’ll ace it, my love.’

‘Maybe. Not sure I can shave a whole minute off your time though.’ 

‘You can. You don’t have a choice. Either show this bitch what you’re made of, or let her win.’ There he was. Koschei always knew exactly what embers to blow on to start a fire. ‘What’s it going to be, Theta?’ 

‘Fuck one minute thirty. I’m going to do it in one minute twenty, and she’s going to watch me.’ 

‘Damn straight she is.’ 

Finally, it was Theta’s turn. 

She could see her entire class watching her at the other end, with no amount of pity spared. They thought this was a punishment. 

Theta disagreed. 

Koschei was stood at the front besides Drax and Mortimus. He had his arms folded over his chest and a smirk on his face. He nodded at her. 

Theta gave him a nod back. 

She took one breath out. 

The instructor blew the whistle. 

Theta was off like a shot, hurdling the first log and pushing off her back foot to the next. She tightened her core to not let it swing around and wind her, and flipped herself over the larger one. 

Theta let herself breathe once, hopping over another small log and glancing up at the wall in front of her. 

She jumped once, and missed. That was fine. She just needed more momentum. 

Theta stepped back once, twice, and took off, jumping at the wall and pushing off on it. She grabbed the top with all ten fingers, hauling herself up and onto the top. 

Balance beams. Brilliant. 

Just like walking on the very lip of a building. 

Theta decided to take both at once, like she’d done many times before. 

Left foot on one, right foot on the other, she hopped between the two, skipping her way quickly back to the other wall. 

Theta wasted no time in jumping off of that, breathing out once and hopping over another small hurdle. 

Monkey bars. Fun. 

She jumped up onto what was actually a pretty high set of bars, taking two at a time as she swung her way across and landed on the other side. 

‘How long have I got?’ She asked, taking another hurdle, and swinging herself over another high one. 

‘Forty seconds.’ Koschei answered shortly. 

Net climb. 

Less brilliant.

Theta took the net and began to climb. It was hard, she found, because it wasn’t solid like what she was used too. The movement of it took extra strength in her arms, and it took Theta longer to get up than she would’ve liked. 

She jumped back down onto the other side, hurdling another small log. 

Another wall. Good, she could make up her time on this. 

Theta hurtled over it like a dart, hopping back down to the ground and coming up to something new. 

Two poles, about five metres off and parallel with the ground, which slowly angled back down to it. 

Oh. She got it. 

Theta jumped, grappling onto it with her two hands, then swinging her legs up to hook around as well. She pushed herself upward and shuffled quickly back down to the floor. 

Last one. 

‘Time.’ 

‘Ten seconds.’ 

Theta wrapped her bottom foot around the rope in front of her, and yanked herself upward. Her arms were killing by this point, and her legs and core weren’t much better. 

But she had had enough of being screamed at by this lady. So fuck her. 

Fuck her and fuck the war and fuck authority and fuck the establishments, and the government, and fuck the world. Fuck Gallifrey and fuck it’s principles and fuck the way it oppressed her. 

Theta bounded up the rope like her life depended on it, stopping right at the top. She glanced back down, looked the instructor in the eye, and slapped the metal. 

Time. 

She glanced down at her classmates, panting. They were silent. 

And then Mortimus cheered. The people she knew began to clap and cheer, jump around. Why were they happy for her? What did that make them? Were they friends? 

She’d never considered people like Sanfej friends before. But now they were cheering her name, grinning at her and giving her thumbs up. Theta wouldn’t have minded if it they were friends. She liked having friends. 

Theta held on to the top of the rope for a moment longer, glancing at Koschei. 

He was smiling a soft smile at her, and when they met each other’s gaze, he raised his hand from where it had been crossed over his chest, and blew her a kiss. 

Theta rolled her eyes fondly and scoffed, before clasping the rope correctly and sliding back down to the ground. 

She landed with both feet firmly on the ground, where her group of friends, it felt nice calling them that, fell quiet, all eyes on the Instructor, who was looking at Theta like she’d just sniffed dog shit. 

“Time?” Koschei asked expectantly for Theta, who was still catching her breath. 

The Instructor glanced down at the watch, and sighed a small sigh. 

“One minute, and twenty three seconds.” 

Her friends cheered again, clapping and jumping with no small amount of joy. Theta imaged they were just happy to finally have something to cheer about. 

She didn’t look away from the Instructor, who was scowling at her. Theta smiled back, dipped a low curtesy, and walked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theta said bad bitch rights


	74. Seventy-four

Theta yawned as her eyes opened. She stretched languidly, and winced a little. 

“Achey?” Koschei guessed. Theta nodded. 

“Mhm.”

“Worth it?”

“Mhm.” She smiled, settling back in the crook of his neck. “I’d give an arm and a leg to see that look on her face again.”

“I bet you would.” Koschei scoffed a little. “I’d give an arm and a leg to watch you do it again.” He pushed some of her hair gently away from her face. “It was pretty impressive. And kinda hot.”

“I can think of one hundred other things that are hotter than me, sweating, and scooting up a rope like my life depended on it.” Theta scoffed. 

Koschei shrugged lightly. 

“Don’t judge till you see it for yourself.” 

Theta smiled, rolling her eyes and closing them for a moment. She listened to Koschei’s breathing for a while, before she spoke again. 

“What do you think of the others?” She asked. “Do you think they’re worth hanging out with?”

Koschei hummed in thought. 

“Mixed bag. I don’t mind Ushas, even if she is nosy.”

“She’s like you. Just louder.” Theta pointed out. Koschei shrugged. 

“I suppose. But she’s alright. Magnus is..ok. I don’t entirely trust him, and I think he needs to get over the fact he can’t be in control of every situation.”

“He’s alright though. He could’ve been a massive dick, but he’s not.” Theta pointed out. “I just think we need to get to know them all a little better.” 

“I’m not sure I like Mortimus.” Koschei admitted. “There’s just something about him. Still, seems to have taken a shine to you.”

“I like him.” Theta smiled a little. “We’ve got really similar minds. I think he just needs to come out of his shell a bit more.” Koschei just hummed, untangling his fingers from Theta’s hair and wrapping the entire arm over her, bringing her closer. 

“I don’t know Drax well enough yet.” Theta admitted, shifting closer to him to compensate for the new weight over her shoulders. “I’m sure we’ll learn more about him the closer we get.”

“He might be our new braun.” Koschei teased, laughing at the offended glare on Theta’s face. 

“What the hell am I then?”

“You’re the pretty one.” He prodded. Theta sat up, putting her hands either side of Koschei’s head. 

“I could break both your arms and still have enough strength to throw you over my shoulder, pretty boy.” 

Koschei grinned. 

“Yeah you could.”

“I wouldn’t, but I could.” 

“Maybe you should try it sometime.” Koschei shrugged, sweeping her hair behind her ear delicately. “Not on me, obviously.” 

Theta rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe you should try and stop attempting to get a reaction out of me all the time.” She said fondly. He shrugged. 

“How else would I get your attention?”

Theta frowned a little, slightly taken aback, and she put all the weight on one hand, so the other could find Koschei’s cheek. 

“You’ve always got my attention, Kos’.”

“Do I?”

“Yes.”

“Prove it.” 

Theta wasn’t sure what had sparked this little niggling insecurity, but she tried to smother it in the only way she could think to do so, and she kissed him. 

That seemed to be enough for Koschei, but now there was a little niggling in Theta’s mind too. She wasn’t sure how to shake it. 

-

The six of them decided not to go to telepathy. Theta and Koschei weren’t keen on showing them the roofs just yet, because they were private to the two of them, and Theta didn’t want anyone to slip off. 

So they waited for a while, and escaped into the fields. They walked through about three, before deciding that was far enough, and sitting down in the shade of a large tree. 

“I’m surprised Mortimus even came.” Ushas said quietly, lying down in the grass and throwing an arm over her eyes, as Theta sat beside her and Koschei, propping herself up against the tree. “He never usually does.”

Mortimus was listening intently to Drax, who was explaining what Theta was pretty sure was his latest invention. 

“Maybe he’s taken a liking to the two of you.” Magnus muttered, nodding at the two of them and deciding to lie in the sun. 

Drax and Mortimus made the rest of their way over, sitting opposite the rest of the group. 

They were quiet for a while, enjoying the suns and the breeze, before Mortimus gasped a little. 

Theta glanced at him, to find that he was holding his hand up, and on it was a small cross beetle. 

“Look Theta. A cross beetle.” He said softly. Theta shuffled a little closer to look at the little blue beetle on the back of his hand. 

“It’s a female.” She pointed out quietly, as if not to disrupt it. He glanced at her. 

“How can you tell?”

“Because,” Theta pointed at the cross on its back, keeping about an inch away. Her shaky hands meant it was better to be safe than sorry when pointing at such a delicate creature, that could be killed with the smallest jolt of a pointer finger. “The cross is slightly on the right side, instead of the left, like the males. The further left it is, the more attractive the male is to the female.” She explained softly. 

“I didn’t know that.” Mortimus admitted. The beetle took off from his hand and Theta looked up, watching it zip off into the orange sky. 

She jumped when he wrapped a hand around her wrist, snapping her head back down as he let go. 

“Sorry!” He clearly hadn’t been expecting her to jump. “Sorry I didn’t mean- I just noticed- Sorry- you just- you have a tattoo.” He babbled. 

“Oh,” Theta glanced down, collecting her hands in her lap and taking a deep breath. “Yeah. I do. We have,” Theta nodded at Koschei, who was staring between the two of them. “We have matching ones.” 

“No way,” Ushas sat up, grabbing Koschei’s wrist and looking at it. Magnus glanced over her shoulder, and Drax glanced at Theta’s. “That’s sick. Did you not get in trouble?”

“Yeah, but what were they going to do?” Koschei shrugged. Magnus frowned at it. 

“What do they mean?”

“We first met when Theta stopped me killing a butterfly, on our first day at the Academy.” Koschei explained, before pointing at her wrist. “There’s a sunrise on hers, and a sunset on mine.” 

“That’s sweet.” Magnus shrugged a little. “You two have been mates since you were eight? Surprised you haven’t gotten sick of one another by now.” He scoffed, lying back in the grass. 

“It happens.” Theta admitted jokingly. 

“It’s all the trauma.” Ushas drawled, lying back as well and throwing her arm back over her eyes. “All the war brings us closer. Like, I don’t find Drax half as annoying as I did before we watched our biology professor blow up in front of us.” 

Drax frowned a little. 

“...thank you?”

“Well how long have you guys been friends then?” Theta asked, glancing around the group and pulling her sleeve back down to cover her wrist. 

“Oh, for a while.” Ushas shrugged. “Magnus and I have been mates since we were maybe..hmm..what? Thirty?”

“Something like that.” Magnus agreed. 

“We kinda picked Mortimus up a couple years later. He’d been kicked out by the weirdos.” She scoffed. Theta glanced at him, and he shrugged a little. 

“I couldn’t agree with the way they thought. It just got too frustrating.”

“That’s fair.” Theta reassured. 

“Drax and Magnus got talking one day when we were put in pairs, so then we grabbed him too.” Ushas finished. 

“You’re a mismatched bunch, I’ll say that much.” Koschei admitted. She laughed a little. 

“Oh yeah. You two fit right in. Pair of loners.” Ushas lifted her arm to raise an eyebrow at Koschei. “And smart. Real smart, I can tell.”

“Anyone who can follow what you’re rambling on about has got to be some kind of smart, Ushas.” Magnus muttered. 

“Secretive too.” She ignored him. “I think you have things you haven’t told us about.”

“Well, only known you for a few weeks. Who’s to say you’re to be trusted?” Koschei asked amusedly. Ushas grinned. 

“No one.” She shrugged. “Think we trust you?”

“No.” Koschei shook his head. “Still, what secrets could you lot have?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Theta glanced between the two of them. She wasn’t sure how to approach Ushas. She seemed nice enough, if not a little snarky and sarcastic, but something about her seemed a little bit intimidating. 

Maybe that was the wrong word. Theta supposed, she thought the other woman was a lot. Koschei’s brains, snark, and wit, with a lot more confidence.

It made Theta wonder if she would’ve ever approached Koschei when they were older, and he had changed. 

He hadn’t seemed overwhelming when they were eight. 

Still, even if Theta couldn’t quite be friends with Ushas, she was glad Koschei could. He needed more than just her, she’d always thought that. 

Besides, Theta found herself not minding staying quiet. Mortimus was always quiet, and he seemed incredibly observant. Maybe she could take a leaf out of his book. Mortimus didn’t seem like a bed person to want to be like. 

Theta supposed, although, that she did still want to make the effort to be friends with Drax, Magnus and maybe Ushas. Being likeable came fairly easy to Theta, but forming relationships was a whole other ballgame. 

As far as she was concerned, Theta thought she’d only ever made one. That wasn’t good for any kind of friendship resume. 

Then again, maybe she was overthinking it. She did that a lot. Maybe it was easy, and she just needed to be herself. 

Koschei made it look easy. For someone that had made it clear that he didn’t want anyone else to be apart of their lives, charisma practically oozed off of him. 

Theta supposed he always had been better at pretending. 

“Theta!” 

She blinked, shaking herself out of a daze and glancing at Koschei, who was about three inches from her face. 

“What?” She asked, bewildered. 

“What’s going on in that head, Hm?” He cocked his head at her a little. Theta shrugged. 

“I was just..thinking. Sorry. Did someone ask me something?” 

“No.” He sat back a little. “We just lost you for a second.” 

“Sorry.” She repeated. “Mind goes too fast sometimes. Got to really focus on it to keep up with all the thoughts.” Theta scoffed a little. 

“Sounds painful.” Ushas drawled from under her arm. 

“More..restless.”

“Never could keep still, you.” Koschei pointed out. “Always moving,” he glanced at her. “Always running.”

“I like running.” Theta agreed. “I don’t think about anything when I’m running.”

“I do.” Mortimus argued. “I think about how much I hate running.” 

Theta scoffed loudly, grinning at him. 

“Well, I suppose there’s two types of people.” 


	75. Seventy-five

Theta sat down, crossing one leg over the other and raising her eyebrows expectantly. Borusa almost smiled. 

“I hear you’ve been teaching some of the new kids the best places to skip class, Theta?” He raised an eyebrow. Theta shrugged. 

“They asked. You told me I should try having more friends than just Koschei. Et voilà, it’s practically your fault.”

“Appreciated.” He shot back dryly. “I thought they might fall into your crowd. Very similar.”

“Have you talked to them?” She asked. He nodded. “What did you think?”

“I’m not at a particular liberty to discuss other students with you Theta.”

“Well, who am I going to tell?” She argued. Borusa deadpanned. 

“Hm. I wonder.” 

Theta cracked into a grin. 

“You are many things Theta, and a liability is definitely one of them.”

“I’m pretty sure that saying is supposed to end with you saying something nice about what I’m not.” Theta pointed out. Borusa acquiesced. 

“Oh, sorry. Let me try again. You are many things Theta, but an easy pill to swallow is not one of them.” 

She pouted over-exaggeratedly, and threw her feet up onto his desk, much to his dissatisfaction. 

“Are you going to tell me why you called me in here then, or are you just going to insult me?” She asked. 

“Yes, actually. I have a proposition.” He leant forward, and Theta narrowed her eyes at him. 

“I’m listening.”

“This little group of yours. How would you like to actually do something with it?” 

“What do you mean?” She asked, taking her feet off of the desk to hug them close to her chest instead. Borusa sighed a little, and sat forward. 

“Well, now that you’re going into your last few years at the academy by all accounts, we start to open up programmes, to small groups, that we would like to stay with us, even after you’re gone.” Theta opened her mouth and he put a hand out, “now I know what you’re going to say. But hear me out. These research projects, are pretty much completely independent. You wouldn’t live here anymore, you wouldn’t work here if you didn’t want too. We simply, give you something we want to know, supply you with any tools you think you might need, and leave you to do it. You can do experiments, create theories, whatever you want, as long as you come back with results.” He explained. 

Theta frowned for a long moment, then raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you offering us a job?” 

“Yes, in sorts. You’ll be payed.” 

“So yes?”

He sighed. 

“Yes.”

“What kind of thing will we be looking into?” She asked. Borusa shrugged a little. 

“Oh, y’know, the big questions. How to better engineer dying stars, how we could tame subatomic particles, if we can use antimatter for anything useful.”

Theta hummed in thought for a moment. 

“We could even give you accommodation.” Borusa noted. “One of the Academy’s, many flaws is that it doesn’t exactly help its graduated students get on their feet when they leave the Academy, and most people have to go home to their parents before they can get a house and a job of their own. I don’t suppose you’d like to go home, would you Theta?” He asked, relatively gently. 

Theta didn’t answer. 

“Why are you asking us? We never show up to class. What makes you think we’d be any good at providing results?” 

“Because you’re all incredibly intelligent. And I think, given the space, time and equipment you need to be able to grow, you could all be amazing scientists.”

Theta chewed on her nails for a long moment, milling over his words. It seemed like a good deal- almost too much of a good deal. There had to be something he wasn’t telling her. 

“What’s the catch?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. Borusa shook his head with a soft chuckle. 

“Oh Theta, never change.” He let out in a sigh. “There is no catch. This is an offer that every year, we make to a few select students, that we believe have the opportunity to help the Academy. And I think, being in a Deca could help you all as well.” 

She frowned for a long moment, at a knot in his mahogany desk. There was a lot to think about. 

“I’ll talk to them about it.” She stood up, and Borusa nodded. 

“I’ll need an answer soon.” He replied after her. Theta didn’t reply, and closed the door behind her. 

-

She didn’t tell the others. 

Not until she was curled up in bed with Koschei, did she explain it all to him. 

He frowned. 

“But we barely know them yet.” He murmured. Theta nodded. 

“I know. And I’m not sure I want to be connected to the Academy for any longer than I have to be. I think I want a fresh start.”

“But like he said, Theta, that’s easier said than done. What- ok- what if, we get to know them a little better, see if we can trust them. And if we can, we join the Deca, do it for a couple years maybe, or months, depending on how much we get paid. Then, when we’ve got enough, you and I will go off and have a fresh start. Maybe we can buy a house.”

“Or a TARDIS.” Theta suggested. 

“Yeah, ok. Or a TARDIS.” He agreed. “Point is, this might be a good thing for us. I bet it pays good money. It’s only like two or three years more then we were preparing to do anyway.” He shrugged. Theta sighed a little. 

“I guess. I just- I don’t know.”

“Theta, I know you’re not going to like this, but we do have to start making plans for the future.” He said gently, running his fingers through her hair. “I think we should get out of the Academy, get some money saved up doing that, get a house- as like, y’know, a safety net. Then we’ll decide what we want to do.”

“But what if we get stuck there?” Theta glanced up. “What if we get a house, and start saying ‘we haven’t got enough money, we’ll do it next year’, and ‘this bad thing just happened, let’s go next year.’ I don’t want to get stuck.”

“Then we won’t.” Koschei reassured. “We’ll both be aware of it, and we won’t let the other get stuck.”

Theta sighed. She wasn’t really convinced. If she was honest, she wished the whole Deca thing hadn’t overcomplicated what she wanted to do in the first place. Theta couldn’t understand why Koschei wanted a safety net, and a plan B, when, if they really wanted too, the two of them could sneak into the Citadel and be off the planet in three hours flat. 

She didn’t want to save up and have a house. Every day, Gallifrey put a little more of her spark out, and Theta was sick to the teeth of it. 

She just wanted out. 

But apparently, everything was one hundred times more complicated than that, and she knew no matter what she did, Koschei would never be able to empathise with her. 

So she gave up, and resigned herself to at least three more years of misery. 

“Fine.” Theta whispered. “Let’s do it.” 


	76. Seventy-six

The weeks past, and slowly, Theta and Koschei started to think that maybe they could work with the others. They got closer as they skipped class together, lying in the fields and talking about the past and their interests. 

Theta and Magnus got on just fine, if only butting heads a little because of their leader over follower status. She and Drax shared a laugh every now and then. He wasn’t like her, but Theta appreciated his kind of neutral voice in the group, someone who didn’t take sides and heard everyone out. 

Theta hadn’t managed to make much progress with Ushas, but she and Koschei got on like a house on fire, so she supposed the other women must have been alright. 

Mortimus stuck to her like glue. He was like her identical, quiet shadow. Theta didn’t mind, she liked him a lot. He was funny, and noticed everything, just like she did. Theta hoped they would be good friends for a long time. 

Still, Koschei insisted that they should wait just a little longer, until the honeymoon period was over. He was sure cracks would start to show in the group if they waited for long enough. 

Theta agreed, more because it didn’t really matter to her when she told the others, and just left him to do whatever psychoanalysis he felt necessary. 

-

One night, in the beginning of winter, Theta couldn’t sleep. Koschei was holding her tightly, and as she slipped out of bed, he stirred, but didn’t wake. 

Theta clambered out and over him, before grabbing one of his jumpers and padding her way over to the window. 

She pulled it open and stepped onto the ledge, glancing back at Koschei, before hauling herself up onto the roof. 

Theta wrapped the jumper around her tightly, and sat down, shivering slightly in the crisp winter air. 

She let a sigh fall on her shoulders, and the air pushed from her lungs was visible in front of her. She wondered if maybe she could sigh out the feeling of being alone. 

Theta knew it wasn’t his fault, but she just felt that Koschei didn’t understand her anymore. Not like he used too. Now it was all about what was best for their future, instead of what they really wanted. 

Or maybe it was just not what she wanted. 

Theta couldn’t stay on Gallifrey, and she’d always thought that when she left, Koschei would be at her side. Now, she wasn’t sure. 

A choice between something she wanted, and something else she wanted was not a good one. 

Theta loved Koschei, with all her hearts. With the very fibre of her being. But now, the need to be free was pulling her in another direction, and no matter how much Theta tried to pull him with her in said direction, he dragged his heels into the ground, and made it impossible. 

Maybe she should talk to him about it, she supposed. Theta wasn’t sure he’d understand. That seemed to be an ongoing problem. 

“What are you doing?” 

Theta almost jumped out of her skin at the voice, glancing to her left. 

Ushas was stood on the roof, frowning at her. Theta watched as she pulled a blunt to her lips and took a drag. 

“Thinking. What are you doing?” She asked. 

“Smoking.” Ushas shrugged, stepping across the roof and sitting about a foot away from Theta. “Want a drag?”

“Better not.” Theta shrugged, pulling her knees up to her chest. “Koschei will kill me if he ends up being able to smell weed on his jumper.”

Ushas hummed, and breathed out slowly. 

“You’re banging, right?” She asked. Theta blinked at her, then frowned. 

“Huh?”

“You and Koschei. You’re fucking?”

“I mean..amongst the other things that come with being in a relationship,...yeah..?” Theta raised an eyebrow. Ushas hummed in surprise. 

“Oh, shit. Didn’t realise you two were actually together-together.”

“Mhm.” Theta nodded, watching the smoke from the blunt trail into the sky. 

“You trying to keep it a secret?” Ushas asked. “You never told us.”

“Huh. Guess we didn’t.” Theta acknowledged. “It’s not a secret. Guess it just never came up. We’re not really touchy around other people.” 

“How long?”

“Not too long.” Theta admitted, then frowning in thought. “Like..fifty years, I think?”

“Not bad.” Ushas hummed. Theta glanced at her. 

“Did you get the weed from Sanfej?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Good lad. Got some demons though. Didn’t he lose his best friend or something?” 

“Yeah.” Theta muttered. 

“So what are you up here thinking about then?” Ushas asked, after a pause. Theta didn’t reply for a moment, wondering if she should really talk to the other about it. 

“It’s..complicated.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Basically, I hate Gallifrey and I want to leave, but Koschei doesn’t understand and I don’t think he wants to come with me.”

“Why do you think that?” She asked. Theta shrugged. 

“He’s planning out our future, and it’s all on Gallifrey.”

“And what do you want?” She asked, offering up the blunt again. Theta glanced at it, before taking it from her, and taking a short drag. 

Ushas took it back and watched Theta breathe it out, before running a hand over her face. 

“I want to see things. Culture, people, music. Different planets. I want to see colour. There’s so many colours, I want to see them all. I want to know what’s it like to be part of a family, and I want to know what’s it like to be treated as an equal. To go somewhere where no one looks at me, like the professors do here. Where no one knows me, I don’t have a reparation preceding me. I want to travel, and I want to see a planet with a blue sky.”

“Blue?” She frowned. “Why blue?”

“Because blue’s my favourite colour.” Theta shrugged. 

“It’s a mourning colour.”

“I love it.” She paused. “What’s your favourite colour?” 

Ushas hummed for a moment as she took another drag.

“Purple.” That made sense. Her presence was a dark, rich purple. 

“Then I’ll travel until I see a purple sky too.” Theta shrugged. Ushas chuckled a little, and smiled a small smile at Theta. 

“You’re alright, y’know, Theta? I thought you were a lot to start with, but- well..ok you’re still a lot, but I can see you’ve got a good pair of hearts on you.”

“Thank you.” She smiled a little back. “You’re alright too. I thought you were difficult to talk to, but you’re not. Not after weed, anyway.” Theta teased. 

Ushas laughed for a moment, before they descended into comfortable silence. 

“You know what you and Koschei need to do?” She asked. Theta shook her head. “Compromise.” Ushas let the ‘p’ pop, as if it made the point more dramatic. 

“We’re not very good at that.” Theta admitted. “It’s a push push relationship.”

“I can tell.” Ushas put the blunt out on the floor of the roof, and turned to face her. “But Theta, he loves you. I know you don’t see it, but if I look at him when he’s not talking, eight times out of ten, he’s looking at you like you just descended from heaven.”

“That’s not true.” Theta scoffed. 

“Yes it is. Try it. Next time he doesn’t say anything, look at him and see where’s he’s gazing.” Ushas glanced away, after a pause. “He looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars, Theta. That’s difficult to come by, no matter how long our lives are. If you’re going to make a decision, you need to think about how much he means to you.” 

“Everything.” Theta sighed at her lap. “I love him so much. He’s my whole world, and I don’t want to let him go. But I can’t live like this anymore.”

“Then you need to figure out a compromise.” Ushas shrugged. “You’re a good person Theta, I can see that from here. Good things don’t often happen to good people. I wouldn’t let a good thing that happened to you, go to waste.”

-

Twenty minutes later, when Ushas got tired from the comedown, they parted, and Theta climbed back into bed. 

The moment she lay down Koschei shifted in his sleep, finding her and wrapping his arms so tightly around her, hugging her close to his chest. 

She smiled a little and let him move her, before shifting a bit to get comfortable. 

Theta glanced up at him, before leaning up and pressing a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

Maybe this was fine. 

Maybe, they didn’t have to understand each other perfectly to be together. Because Theta loved him, and he loved her back. That was enough, wasn’t it? 

Maybe their relationship needed to be worked at a little more than it did when they were younger. 

That was ok. 

She could work with that. 

“I love you.” She whispered. Koschei didn’t stir, but moved one arm up from her waist, to wrap around her shoulders. The extra weight pressed Theta against his chest again, and she smiled a bit. 

They would be fine. 

Maybe. 


	77. Seventy-seven

Theta crossed her arms over her chest, watching Kathla shoot at a target about twenty metres away. 

They were back on guns, now that they had new students they had to train, and the Instructor insisted they couldn’t get better at it unless they practiced. 

So now, they were jumping over hurdles, then crouching behind walls and firing at targets. 

As usual, Theta had refused, and either, the Instructor had figured she was a lost cause and had decided to leave her alone, she hadn’t noticed yet, or Theta was going to take a bollocking later. 

“Y’know what,” Ushas shrugged, shifting the gun in her grip. “If she yells at you, maybe we’ll just have to yell back at her.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Theta reassured. “You guys don’t have to get in trouble for me. I’ll be alright.”

“But what if we did?” Ushas suggested. “What will she say if there’s a group of us who don’t follow the rules?”

“Probably accuse Theta of being a ringleader.” Magnus muttered, glancing at the people shooting a few rows ahead of them. 

“Ushas is right though.” Magnus agreed softly. “It’s really not fair.”

“No, but there’s nothing to be done.” Theta agreed. “Either she gives in, or I do. And I’m not doing that.”

“Maybe you should tell her about your hands. She might see the risk then.” Mortimus offered, trying to be helpful. Theta smiled a little. 

“Thanks Mort’, but I reckon she’s just going to think I’m making it up.”

“It’s worth a shot.” He shrugged. Theta scoffed a little. 

“If she ever stops yelling to breathe, I’ll be sure to try and slip it in.” 

“No offence Theta,” Drax frowned a little. “But isn’t it just easier to give up?” 

“Probably.” Theta nodded. “But I don’t want to have to give up my morals for some grumpy old lady.”

“I respect you for it.” Ushas slapped her on the back, before lining up to go in the next row. 

“I just wish it didn’t involve you getting yelled at as much as it did.” Koschei muttered beside her, and Theta smiled a little, squeezing his hand. 

“I know. Thank you, for- y’know, letting me do this. Not trying to stop me.”

“Like I had any choice in the matter.” Koschei scoffed. “Like anyone has any bearing on what you do. Like anyone could stop you.” He smiled with what looked similar to pride, and Theta shrugged. 

“Well they’re my choices. I don’t see why anyone else should have a say on them.”

-

Theta watched her friends take their turns to shoot the targets. Considering it was their first time, bar Koschei, they were good. Great, even. 

Magnus had a knack for it that Theta had never seen, Koschei following in a close second place. Drax was pretty good, and Ushas and Mortimus followed with the furthest from the target. Not that that was much, more like an inch. 

‘Your left.’ Koschei suddenly announced to Theta from the other side of the court, and Theta blinked in surprise, before glancing to her left. 

Borusa was stood, arms crossed over his chest, watching them. 

She frowned. 

‘What’s he doing here?’ She asked. Koschei sent an admission close to ‘I don’t know’ at her, then ended the conversation when Theta heard her name being snapped. 

She glanced up at the Instructor. 

“Yes ma’am?”

“Could you kindly, pick up a gun, get over that hurdle, and shoot that target?”

“No ma’am.” 

The Instructor narrowed her eyes at Theta. It seemed like she had snapped. 

“And, why is that Theta?” She asked. “Do you have some kind of moral compass that the rest of us don’t have? Do you exist on some higher moral ground than the rest of us?” Her voice began to raise. “Are you better than everyone here? Are you purer? Are you kinder? Or are you just more of a coward? A scared little girl who won’t fight for her planet? 

‘And for what? Why is that, Theta? Scared of the Daleks? Scared you’ll hurt yourself? Or do you only care about yourself, and don’t give a shit wether your friends and family get hurt?” The Instructor yelled. Theta glanced to her left, set her jaw, and picked up a gun.

“Do you even have family, Theta? Is there anyone in this whole wretched world that even gives a shit, about a big-headed, narcissistic, loud-mouthed, know-it-all like you? Or does everyone hate you?” Theta stepped over the hurdle, and steeled off the bond with Koschei. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if no one liked you. What with your moral superiority complex, and your ‘help the injured’ mentality?” Theta brought the scope up to her eye and aimed at the target. “No- y’know what gets rid of Daleks? Soldiers! And we need more soldiers!” She inhaled. “So tell me Theta! Why won’t you shoot that gun?!” And exhaled. 

There was a small collective scream, and the Instructor flinched, hard. 

The shot had landed about an inch from her foot, from where she was stood, five metres away from the target. 

Theta lowered the gun, and threw it on the ground, before holding her trembling palms up. 

“Shaky hands, ma’am.” 

-

“I missed.” Theta shrugged. The Instructor seemed to set herself alight on the other side of the table, next to Mr Delathorpo. 

“You didn’t miss! You were aiming for me!” 

“Well..even if I was aiming for you..I still missed ma’am.” Theta pointed out. She scowled into Theta’s soul, and Mr Delathorpo put a hand out to calm the two of them. 

“Theta, why were you shooting in that direction anyway?” He asked calmly. Theta frowned a little. 

“I was just following orders.”

“It was attempted murder!” The Instructor hissed. 

“What?!” Theta scowled back at her. 

“Mr Borusa-“ Her headmaster jumped in, before the two could rip each other apart. “You were there. Do you think Theta shooting so..far from the target, was an accident?” He asked. 

Borusa leant back, and sighed a little. 

“Honestly, sir, I couldn’t tell you for sure. But, at the time, our..wonderful Instructor was yelling at Theta, quite a lot and quite loudly. And, not all of it was exactly..tasteful.” The Instructor started to jump in, but Borusa cut her off. “I understand that this might be usual practice with soldiers, but Theta is not a solider. So, I wouldn’t say it was out of the real of possibility to assume that the pressure and anger of being yelled at might have caused Theta’s aim to..slip.” 

Theta silently sent him a wave of gratitude, that she knew he’d just be able to feel over his walls. 

“And Theta, you claim it’s because of your..shaky hands that you slipped?” Mr Delathorpo asked. Theta nodded. 

“Yes sir. It’s why I didn’t want to use any of the weapons. Guns, or knives. I was afraid I might accidentally hurt someone.” 

The lies were easy to slip off of the tongue. She was playing a dangerous game, her hands were a fault, and it was a well known fact that students with faults were often kicked from the academy. However, appealing to sympathy seemed to be in her best interest, over explaining her morals and ideology, to someone who had been the one to send the students to the Instructor in the first place. 

“Why didn’t you explain that in the first place?” Mr Delathorpo asked, clearly exasperated. Theta shrugged meekly, glancing at them on her lap. 

“I’m not proud of them, sir. They’re embarrassing. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was faking it to just to get out of doing it. I- I always did what I could, y’know, the obstacle courses and all of that. Anything I could do, which I thought I didn’t run the risk of hurting those around me, I did.” 

“That’s a lie.” The Instructor snapped. “You told me you didn’t want to do it because of your stupid morals. I bet your hands don’t even shake. You’ve just made up some cowards excuse.” She practically spat. Mr Delathorpo frowned at her, glancing between her, and Theta, who looked quite scared. 

“Ma’am, please. This is a professional office.”

“I apologise, sir.” She huffed out a breath. Mr Delathorpo glanced back at Theta. 

“Theta, how long have you had this problem?”

“As long as I can remember, sir.” She shrugged a little, then glanced at Borusa. “I confided in Mr Borusa a little while ago, as he’s obviously my Jurist.” Theta expected him to go along with the lie, as he seemed to be trying quite hard to get her off the hook. 

“Is this true, Mr Borusa?” Her headmaster asked. He nodded. 

“Yes sir. I’ve been doing research in an attempt to help Theta, but I’ve not come up with anything yet. I’ve come to the conclusion, that it might just be one of those anomalies that will be fixed after a regeneration.” 

“Hm.” Mr Delathorpo hummed. “So, given the evidence, you would say that where Theta shot, was purely accidental?” 

“Yes sir.” Borusa nodded. “And if it’s my place to say, considering the fact that no one got hurt, I would personally, let this one go.” 

“There was an inch in it.” The Instructor leant forward, scowling between the two of them. “If she had shot me in the foot, I would be out of my duty as a commanding officer until I regenerated. That’s a waste of a life and very serious.”

“Indeed, ma’am, but that didn’t happen.” Mr Delathorpo pointed out. “Alright, I think I’ve made my decision. Theta, I’m putting you in afterhourless for a week, for being reckless with a weapon. When you go to these training sessions, from now on, you will not pick up a weapon, and you will only observe, unless it’s an activity where there is no risk of you hurting those around you. Is that clear?”

“Perfectly clear, sir. Couldn’t have thought of a better way around this if I tried.”

-

“I have a question.” Borusa admitted, as the two walked down the hall and away from Mr Delathorpo’s office. 

“So do I.” Theta agreed. 

“Did you mean to miss?” He asked. 

“Yes. Why were you there today?”

“To observe. Why do your hands shake?”

“Something happened, when I was younger. Why are you adamant on defending me, no matter what I do?”

“Because I want you to be apart of the Deca. We can’t do that if you’re expelled, and we need a mind like yours doing good work. And- well, I wished someone had stuck up for me when I was younger.” He admitted. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“No.” Theta stopped at the turn of the corridor, and smiled. “Goodnight, sir. Thanks.”

“I wish you would stop doing this, Theta. You will stop one of my hearts.”

“Worryingly, you’re not the first person to say that to me.” She scoffed, before pocketing her hands and starting towards the dorm room.


	78. Seventy-eight

Koschei raised an eyebrow at her when she closed the door into their dorm room. 

“How did it go?” He asked, subtle worry obvious in his voice and stare. 

Theta shrugged a little, sighing. 

“Afterhourless for a week. I’m not allowed to touch any more weapons.” 

“That’s good.” He pointed out. Theta nodded. 

“Yeah. It was a bit of a risky move and all, but I think it turned out as well as it could’ve.” 

He nodded. Theta sat down at her desk, and didn’t say anything else. 

The air was slightly tense, for a reason Theta couldn’t quite figure out. She supposed it might’ve been herself. She wasn’t in the best mood, after being yelled at like that. 

“Did you mean to miss?” Koschei asked, after a while. “Her, I mean. Did you mean to miss her?” 

“Yes. Obviously.” Theta frowned. “Like I’d just abandon all my morals after a bit of a bollocking.” 

“Bit more then a bollocking.” He considered. “She didn’t exactly pull any punches.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” She shrugged, tone slightly sharp. “She didn’t get her way, so why should I care what she thinks?” 

“You shouldn’t.” Koschei shrugged, eyes scathing over her in a way that she would only let him do. However now, it was putting her on edge. “But it gets personal when people bring up shit like your family.”

“I don’t care, Koschei. My family doesn’t bother me.” She muttered, after sucking on her teeth for a moment. Koschei wasn’t stupid, it was very clear that Theta wasn’t happy with this conversation. That didn’t seem to stop him though. 

“Theta,” he said lowly. “It’s not a fault to get upset over things people say. It doesn’t make you weak if you care what other people think.” 

“Why should I give her that?” She asked. “Why should I give her the satisfaction of getting to me?”

“Because she’s not here.” He shrugged. “Don’t worry love, you do a wonderful impression of someone who doesn’t give a shit. But it’s not a bad thing to let that go, especially here. You know I won’t judge you, at least.” Koschei pointed out gently. 

Theta hated his tone. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t be as antsy as she was. It would make this whole conversation a lot easier if he had been giving her a reason to be pissed at him. But he wasn’t, and that only infuriated her more. 

“What do you want me to say?” She asked sharply. “What do you want me to admit? That the mean lady hurt my feelings?” 

“No, Theta.” He sighed deeply, glancing at the ground as he collected his thoughts. “I want you to admit that you’re not bulletproof. Things get to you, and that’s ok. No one expects you to be stone cold.”

“Yes they do.” She frowned. “Everyone has a preconceived idea of who I am. Why should I work my ass off to try and change that, when it’s not going to work?” 

“Because you are so much more.” He glanced at her. “You could prove yourself to be so much more than anything they ever thought of you.”

“And why do I need their approval? Why do I need to prove myself to anyone?”

“Probably because people would cut you a lot more slack, Theta.” He said calmly. “It sucks to see you beaten up and shoved around by people who don’t know the first thing about you. I just don’t want you to have to keep going through that, because it’s clearly starting to get to you.” Theta huffed through her nostrils. “And y’know, maybe if people understood you better, you wouldn’t be having such a shit time at the Academy.” 

“So what?” She shrugged. “What am I supposed to do? Go out there, prove I’m intelligent, and that I have emotions, and somehow convince my professors that they’ve been wrong about this whole time?” 

“No.” He said calmly. “All I’m saying, is that change isn’t a bad thing. You can change, fit in a little more, just to make everything a little easier on yourself. You’re stubborn to a fault, Theta, and it doesn’t do you any favours.” 

“What? Are you’re not?” She snapped. “You’re not better than me, Koschei. You’re just as misunderstood. Everyone thinks they see the real you, understands the way you work, but really, you put on as much of a mask as I do. Which you’re not exactly willing to change are you? Because you’re as stubborn as I am.” She prodded and poked, hoping to invoke a reaction. It would be so much easier to be angry at him if he’d just be angry at her back. Theta wanted him to push her back. Make her more angry. Make her upset. She was practically begging him to hurt her back with every word that snaked out of her mouth. Theta wasn’t sure if they were hurting him though, or if they were just bouncing off of him. 

That was when she realised, with a start, that it was because he’d thrown up the mask. In front of her, he’d blocked her off. And that hurt. That stung more than anything else Koschei could’ve said. 

“Are you done?” He asked cooly. Theta scowled at him. 

“Are you done criticising my character?” She snapped, standing up. Koschei cocked his head at her and raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you done being a hypocrite? It’s not a good look on you, love.” There was something in his eyes then. Something that not even his mask could cover. Had it been fifty years earlier, maybe Theta would’ve been able to smell it. But not now. Now, if she wanted to know, she’d have to ask permission. 

If she had to guess though, since she didn’t have much more of an option, Theta would’ve guessed it looked close to intrigue. Or maybe, satisfaction. She didn’t understand it. 

“Why are you putting on an act with me?” She asked sharply, narrowing her eyes at him. Koschei didn’t stand up. 

“Why are you angry at me?” 

“Because you won’t answer my question.” 

“Is that it?” He asked, levelled. “Or are you angry that I won’t get angry with you?” 

“Why would I want that?” She glared at him. He shrugged. 

“You tell me. Maybe because you think you deserve it.” Theta paused, caught off guard. Koschei took the break in her attack to stand and stride over her. She didn’t want to have to look up at him, but Theta was so taken aback that she ended up doing it, and hating herself for it. “You want me to hurt you because you believe everything that Instructor told you, and you think you deserve it.” 

She huffed, glancing at the bed behind him, and lowering her gaze.

“That’s not true.” She muttered. 

“Isn’t it?” Koschei asked. 

“Don’t psychoanalyse me Koschei, it makes me want to punch you.” 

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows. “That’s not very pacifistic of you.” The first jab he’d gotten in shot an arrow of fury through her, and she glanced back up at him, scowling. 

“Because you’d know all about what’s pacifistic, wouldn’t you?” She hissed. Koschei almost smiled. 

“Never claimed I would. I don’t pretend to be one.” 

Theta almost bit his head off, before she noticed the light in his eyes. She didn’t need to smell that to know what it was. 

Glee. 

He wanted her to be angry. He wanted her to yell at him. He wanted her to snap and argue. 

Why? Why would he want that? She didn’t understand. 

What was happening? What was going on? 

Theta felt like they were in a chess game, and Koschei could see the board. But she felt completely in the dark, blindfolded. 

Why was he doing this? What was his next move, and why did he seem to know her next three? 

Theta stepped back, uncertainty and straight up vulnerability putting out any anger he might’ve coaxed up. 

“I’m..” she mumbled, glancing at the floor and then at the door. She didn’t want to look at him. The look in his eyes was making her feel nauseous. “I’m going to bed.” 

Theta was out the door before Koschei could say anything else. She wasn’t sure if he was going too anyway. She had no idea what he was up too. And Theta didn’t like that. 

Theta not only locked herself in her room, but then her bathroom as well. She sat against the door, and pulled her knees up to her chest. 

She buried her head in her chest and squeezed her eyes shut. Theta didn’t want to cry, but she wasn’t sure why. 

She’d never felt this out of her depth. Theta was always sure of herself, always certain that if she did something, at least Koschei would support her. But now, he seemed to be working against her. Or, had an agenda that Theta had never noticed before. 

Maybe she was overthinking it. Maybe he’d just got heated in the situation. But maybe she wasn’t. 

Theta grabbed her hands, which she could feel trembling more than usual, and held them tightly to her chest. They quickly shot up to her mouth to cover the sob that strangled its way out of her throat. 

She clenched her jaw tightly, and slammed her foot on the ground. It hurt, so Theta did it again, kicking the floor over and over with no amount of anger spared. 

Theta shot up, thundering her way over to the sink and grappling each side with hot white fingers. 

She opened the cabinet above the sink and grabbed the first thing of Koschei’s that she saw, which happened to be his stupid shower gel. 

In that moment, she hated that she liked the smell. So she lobbed it across the room. 

Then, she crumpled underneath the sink, and let the tears fall. 

Theta was so exhausted. Of being a disappointment to those around her, of being yelled at, of being scared and jumpy, of waking up caked in her own sweat and tears, of feeling like her potential was being wasted. She was tired of giving in when she wanted something. She was tired of Gallifrey and feeling like she would never love herself until she left. She was tired of Koschei not understanding, and she was tired of not understanding him. 

And she was so fucking tired of crying. 


	79. Seventy-nine

Theta slept alone. A large part of her didn’t want to, but she was too angry to let her fear overtake her pride. She told herself that it wouldn’t be that bad. It was just one night. 

It was that bad. 

She hardly made it to the loo. 

Theta tried to hold her own hair back as she vomited, but it was a lot harder. It wasn’t made easier by the fact that she couldn’t stop crying either. 

When she was done, Theta struggled to pick herself off of the floor, the movement making her feel nauseous, and her legs shaking without Koschei to help her. 

But she managed it, and stumbled her way back into the bedroom. Theta got back into bed, and sat up right, trying to stop herself from hiccuping and the tears from falling. Her stomach was aching beyond belief, and Theta almost gave in and went looking for Koschei. 

She didn’t go back to sleep. 

And she didn’t go to class the next day. 

Theta had tried to have a shower, get dressed, and look presentable, but she couldn’t dry her eyes for long enough, and her legs still trembled, somehow as much as her hands. 

Theta wanted no one to see her cry, so she decided that she’d just not go, and would try and use the day to get herself in some kind of better headspace. 

So she put on the comfiest clothes she could find, and opened the window. Theta grabbed her pile of prized books, and sat on the window sill with them next to her. 

She pulled her knees up to her chest, and balanced the first one on them. 

It took her most of the day to get through all of them. They slowly piled up on the floor beside her after she’d read them, and Theta slowly began to feel a little better. 

She tried not to move too much, because it reminded her of how much her entire body ached.

Theta was hungry, and her eyes were tired and puffy, but that was ok. She could forget about it for a while when she read. 

Theta was on the sixth book, and the day was nearing its close. She could hear people coming back from dinner to their dorms to hang out for an hour or two before bed. 

She turned the page in the book she was reading, ignoring how her hands trembled, and read the title of the next page. 

It was a galaxy. Not just any galaxy though. It was the galaxy that Koschei had first told her about. The day she’d shown it to him for the first time, when they were eight. The first time Theta had stopped informing to just listen, and watch the way Koschei’s hands moved as he rambled about the universe. It was the most fascinating thing to watch him teach, and for Theta to learn, which she wouldn’t often do. 

Theta smiled a little, and ran a finger down the gentle swoop of the nebula. It was shaking. 

She wondered how they’d got here? How they’d gone from two innocent kids, who were just interested in space, to this. A place where her hands shook, where they needed each other at night because no one else could help them. A place where they fought and Theta wondered if she really knew him at all. 

Tears threatened to spill again, so Theta snapped the book shut and decided enough was enough. 

She shoved on some shoes and marched her way to Koschei’s dorm. She knocked a few times, probably louder than necessary. There was no reply. 

Huh. Either he wasn’t in, or he was ignoring her. Theta slipped into her mind for a moment to figure out wether he was behind the door or not, but she could sense his presence much further away, so Theta figured he must not be in, and that she’d just follow it. 

His presence took her down the stairs and out of the building, into another and up the stairs to Magnus’ dorm. 

She took a deep breath, now unfortunately preparing to have to deal with everyone else that she knew was in there, and knocked loudly on the door. 

Magnus opened the door, almost masking his shock at her appearance perfectly. 

“Theta!” He smiled, and the others glanced over. 

Koschei was sat on the bed, in between Drax and Ushas, and he glanced up, smiling at her. Theta still wanted to punch him. “You come to hang out?”

“Not today.” Theta wasn’t expecting her voice to be so hoarse, before noting that that might’ve been because she hadn’t used it once that day. “I just wanted to talk to Koschei.” 

Koschei nodded, standing up. 

“Duty calls.” He cracked the joke, stepping over Drax, who laughed. Theta didn’t meet anyone’s eye, even though she could feel at least Mortimus and Ushas staring at her. 

Koschei stepped past Magnus, who fumbled for a moment, then closed the door behind him. 

The two of them were left in the hall. 

“Where were you today?” He asked. “Throwing things around?” 

Theta glanced up at him, and Koschei’s expression immediately changed. It was clear that he hadn’t been expecting her to look as bad as she did, or perhaps he hadn’t expected to see her look so upset and heartbroken, instead of angry. 

“Thee’,” he said gently, stepping forward to touch her. Theta stepped back away from him, and forced her lip not to tremble. “Hey, look. I’m sorry, Theta. I didn’t realise I’d made you upset.” 

She frowned at him. He looked fine. He’d been laughing with the others, it was clear that he’d been to class- or, been out of his dorm. She looked a little closer though, and saw that the bags under his eyes looked particularly dark today. 

He hadn’t slept a wink. 

“So it’s fine if I’m angry, but not fine if I’m upset?” She asked, biting back a scowl. She didn’t want to make it obvious that she was still furious with him, since it hadn’t turned out that well last time. 

“No,” he shook his head, “I just mean- like- you were angry anyway. I thought you just might need some time to cool off. If you’re upset it means that what happened last night actually got to you.”

“Of course it did.” She frowned, clenching her jaw in an attempt to stop it trembling. “What were you trying to do if not upset me?”

“I was just- y’know- I was trying to let you get all your anger out at me. Maybe I pushed it too far.” 

Theta scoffed, and glanced away from him. 

“You think?” 

“I’m sorry Thee’, I didn’t realise.” He tried to step towards her again, so Theta stepped backwards. Koschei winced. “Why didn’t you tell me I’d upset you?”

“Because I thought you were trying too!” Theta paused to bite her bottom lip in an attempt to stop it trembling. “I thought you were trying to hurt me. And- I got scared because I didn’t understand why you’d do that to me. So I just stayed on my own.” She sniffled. 

“Theta, no. I was just trying to help.” He said gently. She glanced at him, frowning deeply. He said it in a way that made her inclined to believe him. But after the night before, she was hesitant to trust. 

“Why didn’t you just say that then? Why were you trying to be subtle about it? Why couldn’t you just tell me, instead of treating me like a science experiment, Koschei? I’m not a science experiment!” She tried to blink the tears back hard. Her raised voice was born from fatigue, and pain, over anger, and it was very obvious that Koschei could see that. 

“I know, Theta.” He said gently. 

“If I’m angry, or upset, I don’t want you to use it as an opportunity to figure me out.” She scowled at the ground. “It’s not fair.” 

“I know,” he repeated. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to help, but clearly I went about it the wrong way.” 

“No shit.” She glanced back up, frowning. “I don’t- you- you saw what the Instructor said about me. That was awful- and I came back and I was upset- and- and you still thought ‘wow, this is a great opportunity for me to see how far I can push her!’ Why would you do that?? Why would you even do that to me?” 

“I just wasn’t thinking like that.” He admitted. Koschei at least had the decency to look ashamed. “You came back, and you were obviously angry, and I could see that you were trying to take it out on me, so I thought I’d try and help you with that. Y’know, provoke you a bit.” 

Theta scowled at him through watery eyes, and when Koschei hesitantly made up the space between them, Theta started punching him in the chest. 

It wasn’t something she could put her heart into, and it certainly wasn’t hard, but Theta was so frustrated and fed up. 

Koschei wrapped his arms around her as Theta hit him over and over again, lacking any real conviction, before she just gave up and into quiet sobs. 

He ran a hand slowly up and down her back, cradling her head with his other had as Theta cried. 

“I- I- I’m sorry I was angry at you.” She hiccuped, and god, how she wished she could stop crying. It hurt so much. “I’m sorry I- I tried to take it out on you.” 

“Don’t be.” He said softly. “I’m sorry I hurt you. You know it wasn’t intentional, don’t you?” 

Theta nodded, after a moment of thought. Koschei was right, she was probably just overthinking it. He wouldn’t do something like that. He loved her. 

Then again, maybe she was right. Maybe she wasn’t overthinking it. Maybe everything was a lie. 

“Are you crying just because of what happened last night?” He asked softly, threading his fingers through her hair. Theta shook her head. “No, I didn’t think so.” 

“I’m sorry.” She murmured. “I should’ve just left it last night. I’m sorry I made you sleep alone.” 

“It’s ok. You needed space. And really- I’m the one who made you sleep alone.” 

Theta just shook her head. 

“I love you so much Theta. I’m sorry I made you this upset.” He squeezed gently. 

“I love you too.” She mumbled. “I’m sorry I threw your shower gel across the bathroom and broke the lid.” 

Koschei scoffed gently. 

“I think I can forgive you for that.” 


	80. Eighty

She was cold. 

In a way, she was thankful for it, because her shivers had woken her up before her nightmares got the chance too. 

But where was Koschei? 

Theta sat up, rubbing her eyes as they searched for him blearily around the room. 

He wasn’t there, but Theta noticed the bathroom light was on, and the door was slightly open, so she had a pretty good guess on where she might find him. 

Theta yawned and got out of bed, padding her way to the door and pushing it open hesitantly. 

Koschei was sat on the floor, staring at the wall in front of him and tapping the beat of four onto his other hand. 

“Koschei?” She asked quietly. Clearly it wasn’t that loud, because he glanced up at her. 

“Hey. I’m sorry, did you get a nightmare?” He asked, extending his arms out to her. Theta shook her head, but made her way over anyway, letting Koschei pull her onto his lap. She frowned a little and swept some of his hair out of his face. 

“Are you alright?” She asked softly. Koschei searched her eyes for a moment, before shrugging. 

“I just can’t stop thinking about last night. I still feel awful about it.” He explained softly, hands coming to rest on her hips, where his thumbs rubbed gentle circles. Theta frowned, cupping the back of his neck with one hand, and his cheek with the other. 

“You shouldn’t. It’s ok. If anything it was just a misunderstanding.”

“I know,” he sighed. “But I always hate seeing you upset, and then I made you upset. I don’t ever want you to be upset, ever.” 

“I’m not upset now.” She said softly, trying her best to comfort him. Koschei sighed. 

“But you were. And- and you went a whole day, in here on your own. And I was such an asshole, I still went out with the others and had a laugh, and I didn’t check on you.”

“You thought I was angry though, Kos’, I don’t blame you for thinking I needed space.”

“But I know you better than that. I should’ve known.”

“But you didn’t, and that’s ok. And we made up and now I’m fine, so it’s ok.” She said softly. Koschei glanced down, clenching his jaw. Theta frowned concernedly, before she watched his eyes get glassy. 

Theta could feel her hearts splintering, and she wanted nothing more than to make him happy again. 

“Kos’,” she said gently, tilting his chin up with her finger and thumb. “I’m not mad at you, darling. You just misunderstood the situation, and that’s ok. No one can expect you to get it right all the time.”

“But I want too.” He mumbled, tears threatening to spill over. “I never want to cause you pain, Theta. Ever. And it hurts so much knowing I did.” 

Theta wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him tight to her chest, rubbing slowly up and down his back. 

Koschei wrapped his arms back around her middle almost painfully tightly, but Theta didn’t mind. 

She stroked through his hair with one hand, and pressed a gentle kiss to it. 

“I love you.” She reminded him gently. 

“I don’t deserve that.” He mumbled. Theta squeezed a little tighter. 

“Yes you do. You do deserve that Koschei. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You’re astoundingly brilliant, and you are kind. You’re sensitive and sweet and you deserve universes full of love.” 

He paused a little, a break in his sniffling to breathe out quietly. 

“You’re such a diplomat, Theta.” He said it gently, in a way that made her think maybe half of what she’d said worked. 

“Maybe you’re not enough of diplomat.” She replied lightly. 

“Sure. Maybe.” 

-

Theta held him for a long while after that, and slowly began to get more tired. She forced herself to stay awake though, until Koschei finally calmed down and got tired himself. 

So eventually, the two trudged back to bed and curled back up. 

Theta lay back down and shuffled a little bit until the two of them got comfortable, before settling and listening to Koschei’s breathing. 

It was relaxing and Theta began to feel herself dropping off to sleep, before Koschei spoke again. 

“Thee’, you know all those things the Instructor said about you aren’t true, right?”

“Mhm.” Theta didn’t say it with much conviction. Maybe because she didn’t believe him with much conviction. 

“I mean it, Theta.” He continued softly. “Because you’re  _ my _ family, and I give a shit about you. Even if you are big-headed, and narcissistic and loud-mouthed and a know-it-all.” He teased gently. 

She glanced up at him. 

“How am I your family?” She asked. “You’ve already got one.”

“That doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be related to be family.” He brushed off. “I love you. More than anything, and that makes you my family.” 

She blinked at him for a moment, slightly astounded. Theta wasn’t sure what to say. 

“I’ve never really had a family before.” She whispered. 

“Yeah you have,” Koschei pulled her closer. “Since the day we met you’ve had one.” 

-

“Theta?” 

“Mhm?” She glanced up from her book as Koschei came back from the bathroom, rubbing his hair down with a towel. 

“How are you feeling about the whole Deca thing?” He asked. “Should we go with it?” 

Theta hummed in thought for a moment, then shrugged. 

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I like Mort’ and Ushas, and Drax and Magnus seem nice too. I guess we could ask them what they think.”

“Yeah. I thought so too.” He agreed. 

“What do you think of them?”

“Ushas is cool. Magnus is fine, we get on ok. I like Drax, and Mortimus is alright. I guess.” 

“What are we gonna do if they don’t agree?” She frowned. Koschei shrugged. 

“I guess we’ll just have to go back to Borusa and say we can’t do it. I think they should say yes though. Given some persuasion.”

“Mortimus will say yes, that kind of stuffs right up his alley.” Theta pointed out. Koschei hummed. 

“Maybe, but will he say yes if the rest of them say no?”

“I’m not sure.” She admitted. “I think if we can convince Magnus and Ushas though, we might have a shot.”

“Yeah, ok. Let’s tell them today then.” He agreed. 

“This should be fun.”


	81. Eighty-one

“Hey Theta.” Ushas nodded at her as they made their way over and sat down in the field. “You doing ok?” She asked. Theta could tell she wanted to mention that she’d looked like shit yesterday, but was thankful that she hadn’t. 

“Yeah. Just felt a bit sick yesterday.” She lied, sitting down in the grass. Koschei sat beside her. 

It was very clear that Ushas didn’t believe her. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better now.”

“Me too.” Mortimus smiled. Theta shot him a small upturn of the lips in return. 

“Look, we’ve got something to tell you guys.” Koschei explained, cutting through the slight awkwardness. 

“Oh?” Magnus frowned. “What?” 

“Right, so, y’know, Borusa?” They nodded. “Well, he’s basically offered us all a job, as a group, after we leave the Academy. To do research projects for them, and stuff. He said they can give us accommodation away from the Academy,we’ll get paid, and we’ll basically be left to our own devices.” 

“Obviously,” Theta cut in. “The six of us aren’t really big on, y’know, the Academy, and we’d want to leave as soon as possible, but Borusa said that for a lot of students when they leave, it’s difficult to find work, and they have to go back home until they do. But with this, it’s set out already, and we wouldn’t have to worry about that. For some of us, we could stay and keep doing it, and for others, we could save up enough money to do whatever else we wanted, and leave after a couple years.”

They were all fairly quiet, frowns on their face as they tried to process. 

“Why us?” Magnus asked. 

“He believes we’re the brightest people for the job.” Koschei shrugged. “And I think we have a range of skills. Y’know, academia, chemistry, engineering.”

“Is this what they call a Deca?” Mortimus asked, after a pause in the conversation. Theta nodded. “Yeah, I’ve heard about them. Offers are rare. But apparently, we’ll get all kinds of things that Borusa hasn’t mentioned, if the books are correct.”

“Like what?” Ushas’ eyebrows raised. 

“Accommodations away from the citadel, or right in the centre, wherever we want it to be. And it’s always huge apparently. Obviously with all the money we get, we can often buy TARDIS‘s before everyone else. Oh! Yeah- and sometimes, depending on what they want us to study, we’ll get trips off planet.” 

Theta’s head snapped upward, and then around to look at Koschei, who’s eyes were fairly wide himself as he looked back at her. 

“What do you mean?” Theta asked, tearing her gaze away to look back at Mortimus. “Like- like we can go to other planets?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, seemingly not excited by this prospect.

However, Theta couldn’t think of anything more exciting. She could go to other planets. She could finally leave Gallifrey. She could finally do it, she could finally feel the pressure melt away. All they had to do was say yes. 

Theta didn’t believe in a god, but she still thought about praying to one then and there. 

“I think it’s an amazing offer. I’d be happy to agree.” Mortimus chirped, glancing at the other three who were still undecided. 

“Sure.” Drax agreed. “I’d rather do that then go back home, even if I just do it for a few years.” 

Two out of four. Now it was just the stubborn ones. 

“I’m not sure.” Magnus admitted. “I mean, can we really trust it? It’s the same authority that we hate, and now they’re offering us a job? How do we know it won’t be as oppressive as it is here?”

Annoyingly, that was quite a good point. 

Luckily, Mortimus seemed to have the answer. 

“Well, we don’t. But historically, people in Deca’s are given more freedom than not. Because they’re often the more intelligent people, they can demand space to work. The High Council seems to believe it’ll work better that way.”

“So we can just tell them to leave, if they’re too overbearing?” He repeated. Mortimus nodded. “Well, alright then. Suppose it can’t hurt.”

Ushas frowned at Koschei, and then at Theta. 

“And you two are one hundred percent down with this?” 

“Yep.” Koschei nodded. 

“Yes.” She hadn’t been twenty minutes ago, but now, everything had changed. She needed Ushas to agree. Maybe it was for her own selfish needs, but Theta was sure she’d never wanted anything more in her entire life. 

“Alright.” She agreed. “Fine. I’ll see how it goes.” 

Theta had to stop herself from beaming. 

-

She knocked incessantly on Borusa’s door until he stuck his head out, scowling at her with no real anger. 

“Theta, you know I have other meetings in my life that aren’t with you.” 

“Yeah but is it as important as me?” She asked. 

“Between you and Mr Delathorpo, I’d know who I’d choose. What do you want?”

“We’ve agreed, to be in the Deca.” 

He actually smiled, for once. 

“Brilliant news. He’ll be happy to hear.”

“Why didn’t you tell me we might get to go off planet?” She asked. “If I’d know that I would’ve had them convinced months ago.”

“Because I didn’t want to get your hopes up.” He shrugged. “There’s as big a chance that you won’t get too.”

“But even so, we’ll have enough money to buy TARDIS’s before everyone else. I didn’t even think of that.”

“Yes Theta, but first you have to pass your driving test.” He deadpanned. 

“I will! How hard can it be?”

“For you, who can say?” She pouted. “Now scram, I’ve got things to do.” 

“Fine.” She huffed. “See you later, Dad.” The insult didn’t really land as she scarpered up the corridor, but Theta couldn’t have cared less. 

She was on cloud nine. 

-

“You know you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself.”

Koschei pointed out softly. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“I can’t be!” She grinned. Theta was practically doing laps of the room, bouncing off of the walls with excitement. “Even if we don’t get to go, we can get a TARDIS, and we can see so much! We can finally be more than this place!” She grinned, jumping up onto the window sill and then immediately bouncing back off. 

“We still have a while until we can do that though, Thee’. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Too late!” She beamed. “It’s almost there Kos’, it’s in reach! I can practically see it!” She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, grinning from ear to ear. He let himself smile fondly. 

“I know.” He pointed out gently. Theta grabbed his face and pressed a sound kiss to his lips, before shoving herself backward and beginning her catapulting about again. Koschei blinked, slightly dazed, and watched her movement as she zipped about. 

“I’m gonna see the universe! With you!!” 

That was the most exciting part to Theta really. Of course, she was over the moon to be within reach of freedom, but this was different. Her doubts and worry had slowly been eroding her hope that she’d be able to see it with Koschei. She thought, even if she didn’t want that to happen, that they might end up going in different directions. 

But the universe had been kind, and it had kept them together. She was going to experience everything she’d ever dreamt of, and she was going to do it hand in hand with the love of her life. 

Maybe, things were looking up. Maybe the universe was kinder than she thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters quite short, it’s more to close up the section before opening up a new one! :o


	82. Eighty-two

Theta pushed open the door and groaned loudly, announcing her presence. Koschei didn’t look up from his book as she whined her way over to his bed and flopped onto it face first. 

“Did it not go well?” He asked, licking his finger and turning the page over. 

“No!” She whined, kicking her feet with no amount of childlike petulance spared. 

“What happened this time?” 

“The same thing that always happens!” She huffed. “I remember everything else, it’s just the stupid handbrake. I always leave it on.”

“And?” Koschei asked. 

“And- I think it’s dumb! Half the stuff you ‘need’ to do you could totally just not do. It would probably be more exciting that way anyway. But nooo, I have to take safety first. I’m never gonna pass my bloody test.”

“Yes you will.” He encouraged. “You just need to focus on remembering the things you keep forgetting.”

“But it’s hard when you actually have to do it. I just..panic and follow my gut. But apparently my gut is not very helpful when it comes to driving a TARDIS!” Theta groaned, rolling onto her back and glaring at the ceiling. 

“So how are you going to get better?” He asked. Theta shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to keep doing it until I remember.”

“And it’ll be ok, because I’ll probably pass my test first try, so we can go places anyway, you don’t have to pass your test.” He shrugged. Theta sighed. 

“I know. But I want my own one like you’ll have.” 

Koschei finally lowered his book, when it was obvious that Theta was actually a little bummed about how her lesson had gone. 

“You will Thee’. You can pass the test, I know you

can. You just need to not panic, and you’ll be ok.” 

“I don’t understand why half the stuff I’m forgetting is important anyway.” She whined a bit, throwing her arms in the air. “I mean, it sounds so much cooler when the handbrake’s on, doesn’t it?”

“It would certainly announce to everyone that you’re there.” Koschei humoured her.

“Oh what, so like an entire building, or a tree just materialising doesn’t?” She raised an eyebrow. He hummed and shrugged, turning back to his book. 

“Yeah, yeah got me there.” 

“If you pass before me, will you let me fly yours sometimes?” Theta asked, glancing at him. Koschei glanced at her over his book. “Please? I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“Is careful a word in your vocabulary Theta?” He asked. She pouted a bit. 

“Yes! Look, I’ll be super, uber careful.” Theta sat up, to drive her point home. Koschei didn’t look convinced. “I’ll even turn the hand brake off! I promise!” 

“Maybe.” He decided. Theta beamed and shot up, coming to the conclusion that a maybe was better than a no, so she ran across to where he was sat and flung her arms around his shoulders, squeezing. “Hey- a maybe is not a yes,” he pointed out, “maybe we’ll fly it together first so I know if I can let you do it on your own.”

“Thank you!” She grinned, pressing kiss after kiss to his cheek. “I love you, you’re the best person ever.”

Koschei scrunched up his face and laughed. 

“Get off, you’re wet.” He whined, trying to lightly push her away. Theta clung on and kept kissing him though, moving to his lips. 

“But I love you!” She proved her point with a kiss in between each word. 

“I think you’re using me for my TARDIS.” He teased, putting down his book and the one leg he’d been resting on the other so he could hoist Theta onto his lap. 

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck properly, hugging him tightly. 

“I would never, what are you even talking about?” She smiled widely. Koschei rolled his eyes fondly. 

“I wonder.” He held her close to his chest, and Theta smiled, pressing kisses to his cheek over and over again. 

“Love you.” She smiled, putting her head on his shoulder. Koschei hummed. 

“I love you too.” It was clear that Theta wasn’t planning on moving, so Koschei just picked his book back up and started reading again as Theta closed her eyes and listened to the sound of his breathing. 

-

When Theta woke up, there was some low level chat going on, and she frowned, pulling herself up and rubbing at her eyes. 

“Hmm?”

“Hey.” Koschei smiled, moving to push some hair out of her face. “I didn’t realise you were so tired.”

“Neither did I.” Theta yawned. “I guess running around a TARDIS makes you tired.” She rolled her neck and glanced behind her. 

“Morning sleeping beauty.” Ushas grinned, very loudly in comparison to Koschei. Theta winced and groaned, turning back around and flopping her head back onto Koschei’s shoulder. 

“Ushas do you always have to be so loud?” She whined. 

“Hey, I was quiet for your tired ass this whole time.” She rolled her eyes as Theta straightened her back, stretching out, and then falling back down to his shoulder. Koschei rubbed her back slowly, glancing at her. 

“Don’t mind me, just carry on talking.” Theta mumbled. 

“Ok,” Ushas agreed. “So I don’t really know what to do. Because it’s not awkward a lot, but sometimes it majorly is, and I don’t want things to be awkward because he’s my mate. And I don’t want to risk our friendship by telling him the truth.”

“Hang on, actually,” Theta sat up. “Tell me what’s going on this sounds interesting.” 

“Magnus has a really big crush on Ushas, and she doesn’t feel the same way, but she doesn’t want to tell him.” Koschei explained, once again trying fruitlessly to sort Theta’s hair out for her. 

“I didn’t know that.” She frowned. She never would have guessed. Then again, Magnus was fairly quiet most of the time, and she didn’t really know him that well. 

“Well now you do,” Ushas shrugged, sighing. “I know that Mortimus is talking to him, but I don’t know wether he’s encouraging him or the opposite.” 

“Does Mort’ know how you feel?” Koschei asked. She nodded. “Well then I doubt he’s encouraging it. No point trying to get Magnus’ heart broken for no reason.” 

“Yeah, well, Magnus doesn’t make a habit of listening to other people.” Ushas sighed deeply. “Look, usually it wouldn’t bother me this much, because I know he’s mature and can get over it. I just worry that if I reject him, in a moment of annoyance or upset or something, he’ll back out of the Deca.” 

Theta frowned deeply. 

“Not that I don’t want him there, but..is he necessary? Like, yeah we’d have one less mind which is annoying, but would it be the end of the world if he said he didn’t want to do it?” She asked. 

“Theta, I know you’re tired, but get, your head, in the game,” that last phrase was punctuated by Ushas snapping her fingers in several places in front of Theta’s face, forcing her eyes to follow the movement. “Magnus is the one who holds this shit together. He leaves, Drax’ll get cold feet, then Mort’ will get apprehensive. It’s a domino affect.”

“I guess.” She mumbled, putting her head back on Koschei’s shoulder. 

“I think you’ve just got to tell it to him straight.” Koschei shrugged, Theta’s head lifting with it. “Don’t save his feelings. But don’t be a bitch either, because you’re right, we can’t afford to lose him. So..I don’t know, just, be nice.”

“Be nice?” She raised an eyebrow, and it was suddenly very clear to Theta that they meant something else. 

“Yeah.” Koschei nodded once. “You’re smart Ushas, use that brain to good use.” 

Theta frowned, but didn’t say anything. 

“If he realises he’ll kill me.” She pointed out. Koschei sighed. 

“Then be smarter than him. Make sure he doesn’t realise.”

Theta frowned, sitting up. She did not like the sound of that. That sounded a lot like they were planning to manipulate him. 

“Or maybe, you shouldn’t manipulate him?” She suggested. Koschei raised his eyebrows at her. 

“Why not, my love?” 

Theta considered going on a rant about how immoral it was, but figured she wouldn’t get very far with the two of them. So Theta decided to appeal to their more logical nature. Or perhaps their worse nature. 

“Well, Magnus is smart. As smart, if not smarter than some of us. He’s going to know.” 

“What do you suggest then?” Koschei asked, a slight smile on his face. Theta ignored it. 

“Tell him the truth. If he says he’s going to leave, let him. Give him space, and time to think about it. If he doesn’t come running back within the week, then one of us goes and tries to convince him. Honestly. Not with manipulation. You do that, it’ll make him your enemy, and then you’ve got no hope.” 

“You sound real confident about that, Theta.” Ushas narrowed her eyes. Theta shrugged. 

“Well, I’d trust you if you told me how to correctly do an experiment. Maybe you should trust me when I tell you how to navigate people. Historically, I’m kinda good at that.” 

“She’s got a point.” Koschei nodded. “Always was the extrovert between the two of us.” 

“Besides, Ushas, you said you’ve been friends since you were thirty. Surely you don’t want to make an enemy of someone you’ve liked for so long.” 

“No, I guess not.” She admitted, almost begrudgingly. 

Somehow, Theta got the impression that Ushas didn’t care all that much about, or for people. Theta couldn’t really understand that, but maybe that was because she cared too much. 

“Alright,” Ushas agreed. “But if it doesn’t work, I’m trying my way.” 

“Be my guest,” Theta shrugged. “But my plan will work.”

“We’ll see.”


	83. Eighty-three

Magnus didn’t take it very well. 

He said he understood, and he said he could respect Ushas’ feelings, but that he needed some time away from them, and he hoped they could respect that. 

They did. 

Until the end of the week rolled round, and Ushas practically kicked in the door to Theta’s dorm room. 

“Ah!” 

Theta and Koschei jumped away from each other at lightspeed, Koschei rounding on their friend. 

“Ushas, have you ever heard of knocking??”

“Have you ever heard of locking your door if you want to get it on?” She argued. 

“We weren’t!” He huffed. 

“And even if it’s unlocked, you should still knock.” Theta piped up. Ushas jabbed a finger in her direction.

“I’ve got a bone to pick you with, blondie.”

“Oh?” Theta folded her arms over her chest. 

“Your plan didn’t work!”

“My plans not done yet. You’ve skipped over like the whole last step.” Theta argued back. 

“Oh right, yes, talking to him. That seems like it’s going to do a fat lot of good.” Ushas rolled her eyes. 

“Well it’s going to help more than blatantly manipulating him is. What about when he realises and cuts us all of for life? Then where are we?”

“Fine. You go talk to him then, if you’re so certain it’ll work.” 

“Fine. I will.” Theta huffed. 

“Fine. Good.”

“Good.”

“Good?” Koschei blinked between them. 

“Give me to the end of the day.” Theta ignored him. Ushas narrowed her eyes at her, before sucking on her teeth in consideration. 

“Fine. But I swear on Rassilon, if you mess this up-“

“I won’t.” 

-

Theta found him in a field. Like the one they usually went to, but a little further out, probably to avoid more people. 

He saw her coming, and shot her a tight lip smile. Theta sat beside him, a little more then a metre away, and kept her gaze forward. 

“Hey.” She said quietly, after a moment. 

“Hi.” Magnus sighed, fiddling with a long blade of grass between his fingers. Theta waited for a moment. 

“Do you want to talk about anything?” He didn’t reply for a while. 

“I’m not sure.” He finally admitted. Theta nodded, not looking at him. She decided to wait. 

If she let him know that she wasn’t going anywhere, that she had time for him, she thought he’d probably start talking. Which he did, after an achingly slow ten minutes, that Theta struggled not to speak or fidget in. 

“I feel bad, for being upset.” He explained slowly, pulling apart the blade of grass. “Because, y’know, it’s not her fault how she feels, just like it’s not my fault how I feel. Really, I shouldn’t be making a big deal out of it. It just- I- I guess I’m just upset because, y’know, I’ve liked her for almost ninety years. And I always hoped it would go better than this.”

“I can imagine.” Theta nodded slowly. “But you know, this doesn’t have to change how things were. Ushas still cares about you. She loves you.”

“I know.” He nodded. “It’s just easy to forget that, with her. She has a funny way of showing it. She’s not affectionate, or even that nice a lot of the time.”

“Isn’t that’s why you started to like her in the first place though?” Theta asked. He scoffed. 

“Yeah, you’re not wrong.” He ran a hand over his face and groaned. “I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore, Theta.” He threw the blade of grass out and lay back on his back, throwing an arm over his face. “Love’s fucking complicated.”

“You are not wrong.” She scoffed, lying back with him and glancing at him. Magnus raised his arm just enough to look at her. 

“You’re in love with Koschei, aren’t you?” Theta nodded. “Does he know?”

“Yeah.” 

“And do you know he’s in love with you?” She smiled a bit, and nodded. Magnus hummed, covering his eyes again. “Thought so. How have you done that?”

“Done what?” 

“Managed love. It can’t be easy, the two of you are both pretty..confident people. You must butt heads a lot.”

“Sometimes. When we do it’s pretty bad. As you, y’know, saw, that time we fought outside your dorm.” She scoffed. Magnus nodded. 

“So how do you make it work?” 

She paused in thought for a moment. 

“We let each other win.” 

He pulled his arm up and looked at her, frowning a bit. 

“Is that what love is? Letting each other win?”

“For people like us, I’d say yes.” She nodded. “If you’d been with Ushas, you’d have to be prepared to let her win. As she would have to be prepared to let you win.”

“I’m not sure she would’ve ever let me win.” He frowned a bit, looking up at the sky. Theta shrugged. 

“Maybe you weren’t right for each other then. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked.”

“Are you kidding?” He scoffed. “It would’ve never worked. Ever. Didn’t stop me from wanting it though.”

“No, I imagine that was the frustrating part.” She smiled a bit. Magnus laughed, and nodded. 

“She’s just a force of nature, isn’t she?” Theta glanced at him and nodded. “I think she’s just, brilliant. Lights up the room. And what a brain.” Theta smiled at him softly as he gushed. She almost felt awful for him, but Theta knew, logistically, a crush was nothing on the same level to a relationship. Crushes worked. Sometimes relationships didn’t. And Theta thought everyone knew that they wouldn’t have. 

“She’s so sharp too. Probably a bit too much.” He scoffed. Theta hummed. 

“She does tend to be a bit, cutting.”

“Yeah, but it’s great. You learn to let her cut you. I’ve always thought it was a sign that she really liked you. If you don’t get cut, she doesn’t waste her time with you.” 

They were quiet for a long moment. 

“Y’know, Magnus, you don’t have to pretend it’s not there. Just because she doesn’t feel the same way, doesn’t mean you have to try and force the feelings you have for her down and out. They’re ok to have.”

“I know.” He sighed. “They just hurt.” Theta nodded a little. “It’s hard, y’know. Of all people to like, I end up liking her. It’s so..hot and cold. Most of the time I don’t know wether she can even stand me or not.” 

Theta frowned a little. 

“Y’know, she sent me to talk to you.” He glanced at her, confusion written all over his face. 

“Huh?”

“Ushas, she sent me to talk to you. She was worried about you, but thought you wouldn’t want to talk to her. So I volunteered to do it.” 

“Oh.” He said softly. “I didn’t realise.” 

“We all miss you, Magnus. It gets a little too rowdy when you’re not around.” She scoffed, sitting up. Magnus stayed where he was, but smiled a little. 

“I’ll bet.” 

“Look I wish I could stay, but I’ve got to go get some homework done. I’ll see you later, yeah?” She smiled. He hesitated, before nodding a little. 

“Yeah. Thanks Theta. For talking to me.” 

“No problem.” 

-

“Well?” Ushas raised her eyebrows expectantly as Theta sauntered back into Koschei’s room. Someone had herded Drax and Mortimus in with them, and by the looks of things, they’d been waiting her return. “I don’t see him, blondie.” 

“It’s not the end of the day yet, Ushas. Would you chill out?” She groaned, sitting next to Drax on the bed. 

The other woman huffed, rolling her eyes. 

“It’s not going to work.” She groaned. Theta narrowed her eyes at her. 

“Why are you desperate to have him back anyway? You see him in class every day.” 

“Because we need him.” Ushas answered way too quickly. Theta smirked. 

“You know Ushas, it’s not a bad thing to admit that you miss and care about your friends.”

“I don’t miss him.” She huffed sharply. Drax grinned beside Theta. 

“Yes you do. Ushas cares about people!” He jabbed a finger at her. 

“Shut up, Drax.” She growled. “I’ll skin you alive.”

“No you won’t,” he grinned, leaning forward. “You care about me!” 

Ushas lunged for him, arms out like she was planning on choking him out. Drax lurched backwards at the same time as Theta flung herself across him, trying to protect him from Ushas’ intent. Koschei jumped up, grabbing Ushas by the waist and attempting to haul her backward, complaining loudly about how he didn’t want any fighting in his room. Mortimus just stood up and started yelling incoherently, doing nothing to help the chaos. 

“Come here you bastard!” 

“You care about me! You care!” 

“Drax! Shut up! She’s trying to kill you!” 

“Not in my room guys! Come on!” 

“AAAAAAAHHHH.” 

The door swung open. Everyone froze, turning to look at who had opened it. 

“Jesus,” Magnus blinked at the scene in front of him. “You guys really do need me around, huh.” 


	84. Eighty-four

Theta woke up cold again. She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes, confused and a little worried. 

“Koschei?” She asked quietly, turning and glancing around the room. He wasn’t there. 

Theta got up, and hurried over to the bathroom. 

He wasn’t there either. 

She swallowed tightly, a slight panic setting in, so Theta stuck her head out the window and called out onto the roof. 

“Koschei?” She probably let a little too much wobble slip in, but it meant it was fairly immediate when he jumped back down into the room. 

“I’m here, are you ok?” He asked, immediately pulling her close. Theta relaxed and breathed out deeply. 

“Sorry. I was just worried cuz I couldn’t find you.”

“I’m sorry. It just got too loud and- I dunno, it was windy so I went onto the roof to listen to that instead.” 

Theta pulled back to look up at him, noticing that his eyes were puffy and red. She frowned deeply, arms coming up to cup his cheeks. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked softly. Koschei sighed, glancing at the floor. 

“Nothing I haven’t gone on a rant about before.” She took his hand and gently pulled him over to sit beside her on the bed, where she wrapped her arms around him tightly. 

“You don’t have to worry about that. If you need to cry, it’s ok.” She reassured softly. Koschei slowly put his arms around her middle and breathed out shakily. 

“It’s just so loud, Thee’. It hurts.” He whispered. Theta’s hearts ached and she pushed his hair back from his face for him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“I know.” She said gently. 

“I’m so done with it. I don’t want this anymore I- I don’t want to be crazy.”

“You’re not crazy, darling. I promise you’re not.” She squeezed a little and rubbed a hand up and down his upper arm. 

“Why did this have to happen to me?” He squeezed his eyes shut as tears began to fall, and Theta only held him tighter. It hurt that there was so little she could do. She wanted to fix it for him. She wanted to make him better. 

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “You don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t want to live with this. I can’t live with this, Theta. It’s so fucking loud.” 

“I know.” She ran her fingers through his hair and held him tightly, trying her best to comfort him. “I’m here, it’s ok. You’re ok.”

Koschei didn’t say anything else. He just cried quietly into her middle. 

“Ssh, I know. I’ve got you, it’s ok. It’s alright, you can cry.” Theta reassured helplessly. “I love you.”

“T- talk about- talk about what we’re going to see when we leave Gallifrey?” He mumbled. 

Theta’s hearts leapt in her chest. He was still planning on coming with her? He still wanted to leave with her? When had he decided that? What did that mean for them? 

She wanted to beam, but Theta forced herself to focus on Koschei, when he needed her. 

“Well, we’re going to see lots of things. We can go to a festival on another planet, and try their food, and dance to their music. And we can learn new languages, and we can buy things, with colours like we’ve never seen before. Because I bet there’s colours we’ve never seen. Colours we’ve never even imagined. 

‘And we can see stars forming, and dying and making black holes. And we can celebrate things with people we’ve never met before. And we’ll go to planets, where the sky is purple. Or blue. Planets that have never heard of the Time Lords, planets where- where they don’t even know aliens exist.”

“I want to do it.” He whispered. “With you.”

“We will, love. Just you and me, like it used to be.” 

“I love you.” Koschei squeezed her middle, so Theta squeezed back. 

“I love you too. Do you want to get some sleep?” He nodded, so Theta lay back in bed, and brought Koschei with her. He tucked his head just below her neck, so Theta started to run her fingers through his hair again, and held him close with the other arm. 

“It’ll be ok.” She whispered. 

Koschei was quiet for a long time, and Theta wasn’t sure he’d even heard her, before he nodded slightly. 

“Ok. I believe you.” 

-

“Theta!” She practically fell out the window when Koschei kicked in the door, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Jesus- yes?” She put a hand to her chest and decided to get away from the window, for fear of falling to her untimely death. 

“Guess what??” He beamed. Theta couldn’t help but smile a little, just at his face alone. 

“What?”

“I passed my driving test!” 

“No you didn’t!” She gasped. Koschei nodded. “Oh my god!” Theta launched herself at him, at the same time Koschei laughed, picking her up and spinning her around. “I’m so proud of you!” 

He put her down, still beaming. 

“Thank you!” He grinned. “Now I just need the money to buy one.”

“Is it hard? Was the examiner nice? Did you do anything wrong?” She asked. Koschei rolled his eyes fondly and let go of her to sit down on the windowsill. Theta followed him, and sat down opposite, pulling her knees up to her chest like she usually did. 

“It wasn’t that hard. I was pretty nervous, but the examiner wasn’t mean or anything. He didn’t say much, he just stood there and watched me do it. I didn’t do anything wrong, I don’t think. Oh well- I almost left the handbrake on, but then I remembered that you do it, so I made sure I turned it off.”

“You’re welcome.” She scoffed. “So, like, do they tell you then and there if you failed or not?”

“Yeah. Well, the exams pretty long because you have to show that you know how to fly it, land it, and show that you’d know how to fix certain things. It’s good thing I read up on it really. I don’t think I would’ve passed if I hadn’t done some revision.” 

Theta tried not to look downcast. Brilliant. She had to remember facts from a book if she wanted to pass. Theta was sure she’d never be able to do that. She couldn’t remember anything from books unless it was about insects or space. 

Koschei seemed to notice though, so he leant forward and squeezed her hand. 

“You’ll pass, Theta. I’ll stay up and help you remember everything you need to remember if I have too.”

“I know.” She put on a large smile. “And it doesn’t matter, even if I don’t pass. Because you’ve passed, and soon you can get a TARDIS, and then we can go wherever we want anyway. I don’t even need one.”

“Well no, but it’s not a bad thing to want one.” He shrugged. 

“I know.” Theta nodded. “It’ll be ok. I’ll get there.” She smiled at him. “Well done for passing, Kos’. I’m really proud of you.” 

-

“Kos’?”

“Mm?”

“Did you mean it the other night?” She asked, glancing at him from where he was sat on the windowsill, late one night when neither of them could sleep. 

“Mean what?” He asked. 

“You. You asked me to tell you about all the things we’d see when we left Gallifrey. But I didn’t think you wanted to leave Gallifrey with me.” She explained. Koschei frowned a little. 

“Well- I mean, it’s complicated.” He sighed. “I guess, really, I don’t mind where I am as long as I’m with you.” 

“That wasn’t what you said a few years ago. You said you thought it was childish.” She pointed out, without any real annoyance. 

“I know, and I still don’t really know how I feel about it.” He nodded. “I just don’t want us to be apart. So if you want to leave, then I’ll go too.” 

“But it shouldn’t be just up to me.” Theta pointed out softly. “We should come up with something we both want to do, otherwise it’s not fair.”

“I just want to do what you want to do.” 

“But clearly you have your own opinions. Which is good. I want to hear them.” 

He sighed, glancing at his lap for a moment, before nodding. 

“I think- I think I do want to leave. I definitely want to see more than Gallifrey, I know that much. I guess I’m just a little scared of the unknown.” 

“Well, that’s ok.” Theta shrugged. “So am I, a little bit. But it’s ok, because we’ll have each other.” She shrugged. He scoffed a little. 

“I refuse to believe you’re scared of anything.” 

“I am.” Theta smiled a little. “I’m scared of losing you, or you getting hurt. I’m scared that you might get bored of me. And I’m scared of the dark. Just a little bit.” 

Koschei smiled a bit. 

“Well I’m not scared of the dark, so I’ll look after you when the lights are off.” He reassured. 

“Well then I’ll look after you, when you get scared of the unknown.” 

“Together, we’re scared of practically nothing.” 

“We’ll be an unstoppable force in the universe.” She grinned. 

“That we will, my dear.” Koschei hummed. “That we will.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall bout to be real mad at me next chapter 😳


	85. Eighty-five

Theta sighed as she closed the door behind her. Koschei glanced up hopefully from the book he was reading. 

“Yeah?” He asked. She shook her head, and he sighed a little, putting down the book as she sat down on the bed. “That’s ok, my love. I’m sure you’ll get it next time.” 

“I’ve failed three times now.” She groaned. “I’ve basically got no hope.” 

“Thee’, being self pitying isn’t how you pass.” He pointed out softly. She huffed a little. She hated it when he was right. 

“I’m just fed up of things being hard.” She explained. “Is it my fault? Am I doing something wrong?”

“What? Just generally?” Koschei frowned. She nodded. “No. I mean, sure you do some stuff I wouldn’t personally agree with, and you approach situations differently to how I would, but that doesn’t mean you do them wrong.”

“What do I do that you don’t agree with?” Theta frowned. Koschei waved her off. 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just little things.”

“No tell me.” She pressed lightly. “I want to know. I’m curious.” 

Koschei stared at her for a moment, eyes flicking through contemplation and indecisiveness. For a long moment he was quiet, before he sighed deeply at his lap. 

“You won’t get angry, right?” 

“Course not.” She encouraged. He sighed. 

“Ok. Well- really, I guess I just don’t understand. How your morals work.” Theta frowned in confusion, and cocked her head to the side a little. “This is a bit complicated. So- right, you hate Gallifreyan society, right?” She nodded. “You don’t like the rules and the laws, so we break some of them.” 

“Yeah.”

“But you seem to draw a line in that. And past that line is laws you do agree with, and abide by. I guess I don’t understand how you can claim you hate our society so much, and yet still abide by some of their laws.” 

Theta frowned a little. It seemed to be fairly black and white to Koschei, when really, that wasn’t the case. It was more that there was a middle section, where Gallifreyan laws and her own morals aligned. 

“Well, because some of the laws I agree with. I don’t follow the laws, ‘don’t murder,’ and ‘don’t assault people’ and stuff like that because the law says too. I do it because I think those things are wrong.”

“Yeah, but that’s my point.” Koschei leant forward a little. “The very reason you think those things are wrong in the first place is because it’s been drilled into you by society since you were a child. You don’t agree with it morally because of those laws. And that’s what I’m saying. You seem to have pulled yourself away from that society, and been able to criticise it in some aspects. But in others, you still conform, and I don’t understand why you would do that.” 

Theta frowned deeply. Koschei’s logic seemed a bit flawed to her. 

“So, do you think that murder and assault are ok?” She asked. Koschei paused for a moment, before shrugging. Theta immediately opened her mouth to go after him, but he put a hand out. 

“I know- I know. Just- just hear me out.” Theta closed her mouth, and narrowed her eyes. “I get why you think they are. Because hurting other people is wrong, morally, and I get that. But my point is, the whole reason anyone ever thought that, was because it was what society taught us. We have no reason to believe it, other than because it says so in law. Which is made completely redundant, because we’ve seen how corrupt they can be themselves sometimes. Why should we have to follow the laws made up on the spot, and the people who made them shouldn’t have too?” 

Frustratingly, Theta could see where he was coming from. More frustrating though, was that he couldn’t seem to understand where she was coming from. 

“I see what you’re saying,” she acknowledged. “But I don’t follow those laws because I’m told too. Because- y’know, I’ve murdered someone. I know what that’s like, and I would never, ever want to go through anything like that again. I wouldn’t want to watch the life drain out of someone ever again, and I wouldn’t want to take that from them. You’ve got to understand that, after what we did?” 

“Sure,” Koschei waved off. “I’d understand if Torvic was innocent. But he wasn’t, Theta. He was an awful person.” 

She blinked at him. They’d had this conversation many times before, but for some reason, this time, it made her angry. 

“He wasn’t.” She sighed out sharply. “He made some mistakes, and sure, he could be a bit of a douchebag sometimes. But we were thirty, Koschei. He would’ve grown out of that behaviour if he’d ever gotten the chance.”

“He tried to kill me.” Koschei frowned, clearly slightly annoyed now. “Thats more than just, being a douche.” 

“I know. I know- but- I don’t know Kos’. We were kids. He probably had a lot of shit going on himself. He didn’t deserve to die.”

“So what? You’re saying you would’ve let him kill me?” He asked, more angrily than she would’ve thought he’d be. 

“No! Obviously I’m not saying that I just- I don’t understand how you could sit here and say the child we murdered ever deserved it.”

“The child you murdered.” He pointed out coldly. 

Theta blinked at him for a moment, shocked. Why was he doing this? Why was he excusing himself of the blame? He’d helped her get away with it, he’d watched her do it and hadn’t tried to stop her, it was as much on him as it was on her. 

“No.” Theta replied sharply. “You were an accomplice. You can’t push the blame onto me. You could’ve pulled me off of him. You’re a murderer for not helping him.” 

“Yes, but I wasn’t the one that drowned him, was I?” He rolled his eyes and stood up, making his way to the window and staring out into the night. Theta stood up after him, glaring at the back of his head. 

“No, but at least I felt bad about it. It’s haunted me for decades, at least I have the decency to feel ashamed, and disgusted in myself. What did it change for you, Koschei? 

‘You’ve never had a nightmare about him. You’ve not changed how you think because of it. I doubt you even give him a second thought when I’m not struggling because of it.”

“You’re right!” He whipped around to face her, anger strewn across his face. “I don’t. I couldn’t give less of a shit, about what happened to him, because he was a scumbag, and he deserved it. If I could go back and murder him again, just for hurting you as much as he did afterwards, I fucking would.”

“He didn’t do that to me!” Theta snapped back. “I did that to myself. I punished myself. I hurt myself because I felt like I deserved it. That’s not on Torvic! I mean, christ Koschei, the kid’s dead. At least have the decency to pretend like you give half a shit.”

“Why should I?” He asked sharply, and surprisingly loudly for Koschei’s record. “So I can fit into society? So I can pretend like I wouldn’t give an arm and a leg to watch you murder him again?” 

“What the fuck, Koschei?” Theta took a small step backward, staring at him like he’d just grown another head. How could he say anything like that? It made her feel sick to the stomach. 

“You know why?” Koschei stepped towards her, and took hold of Theta’s wrists, pulling her gently closer. Theta let him, more out of shock than anything else, and swallowed tightly. “That night,” he murmured, searching her face with the same eyes Theta had seen the night they murdered Torvic. “I felt like maybe we weren’t so different. That you could see the way I saw things. That maybe you’d turn around to me and tell me he did deserve it, and that you didn’t regret it.”

“How could I say that?” She whispered. “How could I ever fucking say that?” 

“Because it’s true!” He let go of her and groaned, staring at her like she’d disappointed him. “Theta, love, I know you like to pretend like your moral compass never leads you wrong, but you’re not high and mighty. You’re not better than me. You and I, we’re not so different. You’re willing to hurt people, manipulate them if you think you’re doing it for the right cause. If it’s for the ‘greater good.’ How long is it going to take before you see that?” 

It felt like a punch to the stomach. Like everything Theta had ever thought about Koschei was a lie. That he understood her, that he saw her in a way no one else did. No, apparently he thought she was a liar too. He thought she was trying to be better than everyone else. That she was a bad person. 

Theta let her lip tremble, but rage spilled out over tears. 

“Is that what you fucking think of me?” She spat. “This whole time, have you been just like everyone else? Thinking I’m trying to be more than anyone else? Thinking I pretend to have all the moral answers? Do you think I don’t know I’m a fucking terrible person?” She scowled at him like he’d just broken her world in two. 

Maybe that was because he had. 

Koschei stared back at her, cold. He’d put that mask back on, but Theta could just see tiny cracks of hurt beneath it. 

Hurt about what? Hurt about the situation? Or hurt that she was hurting? Maybe there was still a small bit that cared about her. 

“Y’know-“ she continued, when he didn’t say anything else. “Y’know- at least I have a moral compass. At least I can understand that hurting people is wrong. I mean- jesus Koschei, how could you even say shit like that? Are you fucking crazy??” 

The mask shattered. 

And so did Koschei. 

Shit. 

Theta stepped towards him, but he stepped back, shaking his head. 

“Is that what you think?” He murmured. She opened her mouth and he cut her off. “There it is. Theres the truth. You do think I’m crazy.”

“No- Kos’, I didn’t mean that- I wasn’t thinking-“

“Save it Theta.” He turned to the door, so Theta desperately grabbed his wrist, trying to stop him. “Let go of me, Theta. Leave me alone.” He muttered. 

“Wait, Kos’, please I didn’t-“ 

He whipped back around, scowling at her. 

“Let go.” He growled at her. 

Theta felt herself welling up as panic set in. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t. He was everything to her. She needed him. She couldn’t live without him, she never had. 

“Koschei,” She whispered, letting go to cup his face in her hands. Why had this happened? Why had this ever happened? How had they let this happen? It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. They needed each other. She wished it hadn’t happened, she wished she could just forget about it. 

She wished Koschei could just forget about it. 

His eyes closed first. 

Then, after that, his knees began to give out. 

“Kos- koschei?” Theta whispered, confused and panicked as he went limp under her touch. “Koschei!” Theta caught him the best she could on the way down, struggling slightly under his weight. 

He landed on the ground and Theta shifted his head onto her lap. 

“Koschei? Fuck- Koschei?” She asked, over and over, trying to shake him. 

What had happened? 

Theta grabbed his wrist and checked his pulses. 

He was alive, and breathing. 

“Kos’?” She whispered, eyes brimming with tears of fear, as he pushed his hair back from his face and kissed it over and over again. “Koschei, please. I- I- don’t- fuck- what did I do?” She shifted to cradle him close to her chest, mind racing as she tried to figure out what had happened. 

She’d had her hands on his face. They were both upset. She’d been trying to think of what to say. She said she’d wished they’d both forget about it. 

Oh. 

Sanfej. 

She’d wiped his memory. 

How had she done that? Theta didn’t know how to do that? She’d never done that before. 

But it was the only thing it could be. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, holding him close to her. “I’m so sorry, Kos. It was an accident. I- I- I’m sorry.”

What if she’d wiped more than she’d intended? What if he woke up and he couldn’t remember anything? What if she couldn’t get him back? What if he was never the same? 

Theta let tears steam down her face as he cradled him close. She looked up, and squeezed her eyes shut in a desperate attempt to calm down. 

But what was the point? This had changed evening. Even if Koschei couldn’t remember it, Theta could. Nothing would ever be the same. What if they couldn’t fix this? What if he did remember, and he didn’t want to be with her anymore? What would Theta do if she lost him? 

“Fuck!” She yelled at nothing in particular, glancing down at Koschei. “Fuck fuck fuck-“ Theta pressed another kiss to his head, and cried. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so much Kos’, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

He didn’t stir. 

Theta tried to pull herself up just enough to get a proper hold on him. She winced in effort as she pulled him up onto her bed, before pushing his legs on as well. 

Theta sat beside him, checking his pulses again. She pressed kiss after kiss to his forehead, before putting them together. 

“I love you so much. I love you.” Theta pulled back a little, swallowing tightly and wiping her tears away harshly. 

She stood up and made her way over to her desk, ripping out a page from her notebook and scribbling down a note for him, if Koschei woke up whilst she was away.

‘Koschei-

I’ve just gone out for some air. I’ll be back soon, and I’ll explain everything. 

Please don’t worry about me. 

I love you so much, 

Theta’

She folded it and propped it up on the desk where he could see it. Then she grabbed her jacket, pulled it on around her, and closed the door quietly behind her. 

This was going to be a long walk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O u c h


	86. Eighty-six

Theta felt numb. 

She supposed it might have been the cold, but her tears had long since dried, and there was nothing left but a dull ache in the pit of her stomach. 

She didn’t think about where she was walking. She trusted her feet to get her there. 

Her eyes felt puffy, and she was vaguely aware she was shivering. 

Theta didn’t care. 

The ache seemed to throb when she thought about Koschei, so she didn’t. 

She didn’t think about anything. 

For once, Theta actually managed it. 

When the sound of rushing water filled her ears, Theta’s hearts didn’t even blip. 

She paused when she saw it, staring at the brook and it’s rushing water. 

It was just how she remembered it. 

Maybe smaller. Or maybe she was bigger. She hadn’t seen it since she was thirty, Theta supposed that would make sense. 

She didn’t pause as she made her way down the bank, muscle memory avoiding the loose rocks and steep declines. 

She didn’t pause as she waded into the water, pausing when it got up to her calf. 

She glanced up, swallowing tightly. 

Theta didn’t like the night. 

There were no butterflies at night. 

She sunk to her knees in the rushing water, chill freezing her to the bone and getting under her clothes. 

Theta shivered. 

Then she took a deep breath, and plunged her head under the water. 

It was so quiet. She hadn’t expected it to be that quiet. All she could hear was the muffled rushing of water above her. 

Water didn’t make a sound when she was under it. 

No one would hear her screaming. Like they hadn’t when Torvic didn’t. 

Theta didn’t scream. She didn’t deserve too. 

She just held her breath, and watched the algae on the stones, until her respiratory bypass kicked in. 

The switch was obvious, but Theta didn’t let it stop her from her task. So she waited, and waited, until her respiratory bypass began to struggle, and it started to hurt. 

She wondered how much it would’ve hurt until Torvic had passed out. Or had he been conscious the whole time? 

Theta’s lungs began to scream at her, and she ignored them. 

Air was a privilege she didn’t deserve. 

Still, soon enough, instinct kicked in, and she shot up, gasping and choking in huge gulps of breaths, shaking from exertion. 

Theta pushed her hair back from her face, coughing slightly and panting.

How did she deserve to come back up? 

Torvic hadn’t. 

So Theta plunged her head back under. 

-

By dawn, she was sat on the bank, soaking wet and shivering. 

Theta didn’t want to feel numb. 

She hated feeling like that. She wanted to feel something. She had to feel something. 

Theta picked up a stone, and threw it across the brook, with probably a lot more force than necessary. 

It felt a little good. 

So she did it again. And again. And then Theta stood up, lobbing rock after rock across the water with as much force as she could muster. 

And Theta yelled. She screamed and cried and swore and threw rocks until her hands were raw. 

Why had this happened? Why had any of this fucking happened? Why had the universe dealt her those cards? Why could nothing go right? Why did everything have to be her fault? Why couldn’t she do anything fucking right? 

She was a disappointment. No, better than that, she was a burden. Koschei would’ve been so much better off if she’d never spoken to him. Everyone would’ve been better without her there. 

Why had she even lived this long? Why had she allowed herself to do that? Since when did she deserve to live after the shit she’d done? 

Theta threw another rock, but it didn’t quite hit the same anger. It broke her down a little, and she tumbled. 

Theta clutched a hand to her mouth and crumpled to the ground, where she sobbed. She wept and howled for herself. For Koschei. For Torvic. For everything they could’ve been and everything she didn’t deserve to be. 

She sobbed until her head pounded and her stomach ached from contracting. She cried until her eyes hurt to blink and she couldn’t stop hiccuping. 

Theta grabbed at the ground and squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to stop the tears when it began to hurt too much. She forced the breaths in and out, in and out until she returned to numbness. 

So she lay down, and curled up. Trembling and shivering, with her head pounding, Theta closed her eyes, and waited for something to change. 

-

“Theta?” She wheeled around on her foot, eyes wide as Koschei looked her up and down. 

She hadn’t expected him to be awake so early. 

“Kos’.” She whispered hoarsely. Koschei frowned deeply at her, obviously extremely concerned. 

“Theta, you look awful. Are you ok?”

“Mhm.” She nodded, “look- Kos’- we- we need to talk.” He looked at her, still obviously worried, but still slightly curious. “What do you remember about last night?”

“It’s funny you should mention that actually, cuz I was just thinking. I don’t remember anything. You left for your driving test, and then I woke up.”

“Yeah,” Theta tried to keep it together, nodding. “Yeah- ok- so- so I’ll explain-“

“That can wait Theta. You need to go have a shower or something, you look terrible.” Koschei stood up and made his way over to her, putting a hand to her cheek. 

She tensed and melted all at the same time. Theta was so glad he would touch her. She was so happy that he wasn’t angry. But it felt wrong. It wasn’t how he really felt, and everything he’d said the day before had really stuck with her. 

What if everything she’d ever known about how Koschei felt was a lie? What if it wasn’t just heat of the moment, what if he really meant it? 

“Thee’,” Koschei frowned deeply, obviously worried when she winced at his touch. “What’s wrong, my love?” 

“I- I have to explain before anything else. I need to know.”

“Ok, alright. Come on, let’s sit down.” He took her hand and lead her back over to the bed, where the two sat down.

Theta shifted uncomfortably. 

“What happened?” He asked gently. Theta paused, swallowing tightly. Part of her had wondered if it would be best to not tell him. But she knew she’d never be able to hide anything from him. And the longer he didn’t know, the more painful it would be when he found out. 

“I-“ her voice trembled. “I- I wiped your memory.” His eyes widened in surprise. “But it- it was an accident. I didn’t realise I could do it, and I didn’t mean it. It was an accident Kos’, I promise, I would never do that to you on purpose.” She glanced down and held her hands tightly to her. They wouldn’t stop shaking. 

“What happened?” He asked, confusion written all over his face. “How did we even get to that point?” 

“We had an argument.” She mumbled, glancing at her lap and trying desperately not to well up. “It was really bad. And- and I said- I said something I didn’t mean. I would never mean it.” Her voice wavered, and Koschei put a hand out, onto her leg. 

“Show me, Theta.” She glanced up. “I want to understand properly. Show me what happened.” 

“How?” She asked quietly. 

“Think about the argument, and send it across to me like you would a sentence.” 

Theta nodded and closed her eyes. She was pretty sure she wasn’t in the right state to be doing telepathy, but she didn’t want to let Koschei down more than she already had. 

She thought back to the moment she’d come back from her driving test, to the moment she’d left. Theta made sure not to show him anything that had happened at the brook. 

It hurt just as much, watching it the second time around, and Theta was terrified Koschei was going to turn back around and tell her he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. 

She showed him the accident, and how she really had no idea what she’d done. And then she pulled herself out of her head. 

Koschei stared at the bed for a long moment, processing as Theta chewed on her nails. 

“That was pretty serious.” He finally pointed out. Theta nodded, hearts pounding. “Why would you say that to me Theta?” He asked, surprisingly calmly. She glanced at him, trying desperately to stop the tremor in her voice and hands and head. 

“I wasn’t thinking.” She mumbled. “I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” She bit down on her tongue to stop the tremble of her voice. “I’m so sorry Kos’. I would never mean it. I’m sorry.”

“Where did you go?” He asked. She glanced away from him, foot tapping uncontrollably on the ground. She couldn’t keep still. She’d always hated staying still. Why was she doing it? 

“The brook.” She whispered. 

“Why?”

“Because I hate myself.” She glanced back around at him. “Why did you say all those things? Did you mean it?” He didn’t answer immediately. “Do you really think I’m trying to be above everyone else? Do you think I try to be better than everyone else?”

“No, Theta.” Koschei at least had the decency to look sheepish. 

“Then why would you say them?” 

“Because I was angry. But I can’t give you that answer honestly, because I don’t remember why I said them.”

Theta glanced away from him, biting her tongue for a moment. “I don’t care if you have different views on the world Koschei. I can live with that. But- but I need to know why you would ever say something like that. I thought you were different to everyone else. I thought you understood me. But- but if what you said- if you really feel like that, then maybe you don’t.”

“I didn’t mean it, my darling.” He took one of her hands and Theta glanced back at him. Did that mean he wasn’t angry? “I imagine I just said it because I knew it would rub you the wrong way.” 

She took a shaky breath. He probably meant it if he said he didn’t feel that way. It wasn’t exactly something he’d forgotten. But maybe he was just lying, to save Theta’s feelings. 

“I’m so sorry I called you crazy, Kos’. And wiping your memory. You know it was an accident, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded, glancing down and back at her. “But promise me you didn’t mean it.”

“I didn’t.” She shifted, taking both of his hands. “I didn’t mean it Koschei, I promise. On my life, I didn’t mean it.” 

“Alright,” he nodded. “I believe you.” 

-

Theta stood in the shower, and let the hot water wash away the cold. 

It didn’t feel much better. 

Theta wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Of course things wouldn’t go back to normal after they apologised to each other. The damage had already been done. 

But maybe it would be fine. Sometimes relationships needed work, she knew that. That was ok. She was willing to work at it if Koschei was. 

Still, there was a nagging that Theta couldn’t ignore, that told her she wouldn’t ever believe that Koschei didn’t mean what he said. She knew he probably felt the same. 

So Theta would try, every day, to prove how much she loved him, and that she didn’t mean it. It was important to her, to make him happy again. 

She just hoped he felt the same, because Theta knew he was the only person that had half a hope in the world of making her happy again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I’m sorry this next chapters going to be so late, but I’ve gotten pretty sick atm so I’m sleeping a lot lmao. I’ll get it up ASAP, lots of love 💗💗💗


	87. Eighty-seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters pretty short, I’m still quite ill 😔

They were quiet with each other the next day. Both of them decided not to go to class, and not even to spend the day with the others. 

They wanted to take the time to try and fix things a little bit. But that wasn’t going wonderfully, and it just ended up being quite awkward. 

They skirted around each other, and didn’t say anything. 

Theta was hurting, had been hurt, and whilst she wanted to try and fix things, she didn’t want to step on a spot where it might hurt Koschei. 

Clearly however, three hours into this, Koschei had had enough. 

“Theta,” he said. She glanced up from what she was reading, and nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She replied softly. 

“I’m sorry this has made a space between us.” He sighed. “I hate it, I never want there to be space between us.” 

“I know. Neither do I.” Theta agreed. 

Koschei opened his arms up from where he was sat on the chair. It was a tight squeeze, but Theta clambered onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. 

“You know I want to be with you forever.” Koschei pointed out, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Theta nodded. 

“I want that too. I can’t imagine life without you.”

“And not a day go’s by where I don’t think about marrying you.” 

Theta blinked at him in surprise, before smiling softly. She would’ve liked that. Not that marriage particularly meant anything in society. Still, she would’ve liked it. It would’ve meant something to her. 

“I want to marry you too.” She finally said. Koschei smiled a little. 

“Then let’s do it one day.” Theta held him tightly and kissed his cheek, before nodding. “Because I really do love you Theta. So, so much. And I don’t want an argument to drive us apart, because you’re everything to me, and I couldn’t live without you.” 

Theta smiled a little. 

“I love you too. And I won’t let an argument drive us apart, because I love you enough to work at these things.”

“So we’ll be fine,” he encouraged. “We’ll work through this.” Koschei finally smiled, properly for the first time that day, and leant forward to kiss her gently. Theta smiled back and nodded, before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. 

She felt a little better. Koschei still loved her, and they were both willing to work through it. That was all she could really ask for. 

-

“Theta?” 

“Mhm?” 

“You said you went to the brook.” Koschei pointed out, not pulling away to look at her. Theta was grateful for that, and stayed buried in his neck. 

“Mhm.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to punish myself.” She mumbled. “I thought I might have hurt you, and I was upset that I’d wiped your memory. And I was angry at myself, over what I’d said.”

“What did you do?” 

“Just..sat on the bank.” She lied. Theta hoped she might get away with it, since Koschei couldn’t see her face. She was wrong. 

“Don’t lie to me Thee’.” He said softly. Theta sighed deeply, before closing her eyes. She focused on the night before, and showed him what had happened. 

It wasn’t exactly her proudest moment, and she didn’t want Koschei to feel guilty about it, because she knew he might, but he had wanted to know. 

She sighed as she finished, Koschei immediately pulling back to cup her face in his hands. 

“Why? Why, why would you even do that to yourself?”

“I- I don’t know, I was upset.” She shrugged. In reality, Theta didn’t really know. It was just a let out of emotion that she hadn’t really been thinking about at the time. 

“Jesus Theta- don’t do they to yourself.” Koschei looked heartbroken, and held her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You shouldn’t ever be at that point, ever.”

“Well..it’s not something I can help, really.” She pointed out softly, as Koschei wrapped his arms tightly around her again and pulled her close to his chest. He kissed her head and moved one hand to stroke through her hair. 

“Please talk to me Theta. Just- talk to me, say whatever you want to, don’t spare my feelings. Talk to me, instead of doing that.”

“I do.” She said. That was a half truth really. She tired. “But sometimes it doesn’t always help.” 

“Then tell me. There’s got to be an alternative to that. That can’t possibly help.”

She shrugged a little. Theta wasn’t sure what to tell him. 

Koschei sighed deeply, and shifted a little, bringing her closer and stroking her hair. 

He didn’t say anything. 

-

Theta couldn’t sleep. 

Whilst her day with Koschei had helped her feel a lot more secure, her guilt was still biting her in the back of the neck. 

So she slipped out of bed, and wrote a small note for Koschei if he woke up. 

She slipped out of the dorm building, and wandered, shivering slightly, around the edge of it. 

Theta didn’t feel like herself. 

She was fed up of feeling so downtrodden and beaten, but she wasn’t sure how to fix it. 

The only thing she could think to do, was what she knew how to do well. 

Make someone else feel better. 

So Theta wandered around in the darkness, crouching down and picking a few flowers, which she’d make sure were the colour she wanted before she picked them. She didn’t want to waste them. 

Half an hour later, Theta thought she had a pretty solid bouquet. 

Eager to see them in the light, and feeling a little better, Theta padded her way back up to her dorm room, where Koschei hadn’t stirred. 

She emptied out her pencil pot, that only had two pencils in it anyway, before locking herself in the bathroom, where she finally turned the light on. 

The flowers she’d picked were all pale, whites, yellows and pink, and Theta grinned at them. She was sure Koschei would like them, because they were a nice change from the dark red and orange flowers that always seemed to be everywhere. 

Theta filled the pot with water and put the flowers inside, before sitting it on her closed toilet lid. She sat in front of them and attempted to organise the flowers in a way that looked nice. 

Theta didn’t really have much experience with flower arranging, but she tried her best, and fifteen minutes later, she could safely say she was very proud of her work. 

So Theta trotted back out to the bedroom and sat the flowers on her desk, for Koschei to see when he woke up. 

She felt, surprisingly, quite a bit better. Theta did honestly enjoy doing things for other people, even though she knew the joy she got from it wouldn’t last. 

But that was ok. 

She would just hold onto it whilst it was there. 


	88. Eighty-eight

Theta hummed, unpicking a blade of grass with her fingers.Ushas yawned and stretched out bedside her, waking up from a nap under the blazing suns. 

Mortimus was sat up against a tree, reading a book that looked like it was to make up for all the school work he was missing. 

Magnus was watching Drax whittle a piece of wood down, and Theta was honestly too scared to ask where he’d gotten the wood, or the knife he was using to whittle it. 

And then there was a noise. 

Theta whipped around to find the culprit of the tiny trumpet noise, and locked eyes with Koschei, who had a blade of grass between two thumbs pressed up to his mouth. 

“What was that?” She asked. 

“The grass.” Theta watched as he blew out into the grass, which made the tiny trumpet noise again. Her eyes widened and she jumped up, practically sitting on Koschei’s lap to try and get close enough to figure out what he was doing. 

“I don’t understand. Grass doesn’t make that noise.” 

“It clearly does.” He laughed, and did it again. Theta sat up on her knees and leant over him, grabbing his hands from his face and prying them apart. The blade of grass sat between them. It looked like a normal blade of grass. 

“But- what? How are you doing that?” 

“Magic.”

“No! Tell me!” She whined like a child. Theta was so confused. 

“It’s magic!” Koschei insisted. Theta pouted at him. 

“Koschei, don’t be a dick.” Ushas scoffed. “Put her out of her misery.”

“Fine.” Koschei leant forward and picked two blades of grass, giving one to Theta. She took it and watched him carefully. “Ok, so lace your fingers together.” She copied him. “Now put your thumbs together.” She did that. “Put the blade of grass in between them, so it’s in the little space between.” Koschei put the blade of grass between his thumbs, so Theta carefully did the same. “Now put it to your lips, and blow, pretty hard.” Theta watched as he put it to his lips, and made the noise again. 

She glanced back down at her hands and put them to her lips and blew. It made a little squeak. 

Koschei smiled. 

“It’s takes practice.”

“But I don’t understand why it makes that noise.”

“It’s the vibrations, my darling.” He explained. Theta was vaguely aware, both Drax and Mortimus looked up from what they were doing with a frown, but Koschei didn’t seem to notice. “If it’s not working, maybe try not holding it with your thumbs as tightly.” 

Theta loosened her grip just a tad and put it to her lips again. She blew, and made a noise, but it didn’t sound as cool as Koschei’s, and she pouted. 

“Yours sounds so cool. Mine just sounds like a fart.” 

Koschei laughed. 

“You’ll get it. It’s just practice.” Theta raised her hands to her mouth to try again. 

“Good morning.” 

All six of them screamed a little, jumping out of their skins at Borusa’s sudden presence in front of them. 

“Fucking- christ!” Drax put a hand to his heart. 

“No, it’s just me.” Borusa pointed out, hands tucked neatly behind his back. 

“Can we help you, sir?” Theta asked. 

“How did you even find us?” Magnus interjected. Borusa shrugged. 

“It wasn’t difficult. I saw you all jumping the fence from my office window.”

“You didn’t think we were trying to properly hide, did you Magnus?” Ushas drawled. He frowned. 

“We’re not?”

“No, you idiot. We just like it here.” 

“Oh.” 

“Anyway,” Borusa interrupted. “I wish to have a meeting with you all in my office.”

“Now?” Theta asked. He nodded. 

“Why can’t we just do it here?” Ushas groaned. 

“Because I have files I think you’ll be interested in, and I didn’t bring them with me into the field, Ushas.” 

“That seems like poor planning on your part, sir.”

“Just come with me. It’s important. It’s about the details of your job as a Deca, and I think you’ll want to hear it.”

They glanced at each other, before Magnus sighed and stood up. The rest of them followed. 

Borusa seemed satisfied, if not slightly surprised with that result, and he began to lead them back towards the school building. 

They walked in relative silence, and soon, the six of them were piled into Borusa’s office. 

“So.” He sat down behind his desk, and gathered his hands on the table. “I have bad news.” 

“Great.” Ushas grumbled. 

“It turns out, that to be in a Deca, there has to be ten members. Which, obviously, there are only six of you.”

“Yeah, I thought it was weird that you were letting us do it with four members missing.” Mortimus said quietly. 

“What- Mort!” Ushas glanced at him. “Thanks for keeping that tid-bit to yourself.”

“Well I didn’t think it was important! No one brought it up!” He argued. 

“Ladies!” Borusa interjected. “I didn’t know either. Mr Delathorpo decided to keep that to himself.”

“Why?” Theta asked. 

“I don’t know, Theta.” He admitted. “Maybe he thought you wouldn’t agree if you knew it meant you had to meet new people.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Ushas groaned. “Who are they?”

“Hang on-“ Magnus interjected. “Are we going to have to share a house with these people?”

“Oh yeah!” Ushas realised, rounding on Borusa. He sighed. 

“Yes.” They collectively groaned. “I know, I know. But trust me, they’re as annoyed about it as you are.” They scowled at nothing in particular. “They’re not from your old academy, so none of you will know them.” 

“Do you know their names?” Magnus asked. 

“Yes, I do.” Borusa shifted his paperwork up, and read their names slowly. “Vansell, Rallon, Jelpax and Millennia.”

“Can we at least meet them before we have to move in with them?” Theta asked. She didn’t mind meeting new people, she just knew it would be difficult to get the others to try and trust them. 

“I’m sure I could have that arranged.” Borusa nodded. “I’m sure you’ll get along, I’ve been told they skip class as well and are all infuriatingly clever.”

“Sounds like us.” Theta scoffed a little to herself. 

“So we have to move in with four complete strangers and work together as well?” Ushas asked, obviously peeved. Borusa shrugged. 

“It wasn’t my choice to not tell you this, Ushas. If I’d known before I offered you the job, I would’ve let you know. But I don’t know what to tell you, this is just how it is.” 

“It’s ok.” Koschei finally spoke, leaning over to Ushas a little bit. “If worst comes to worst we can just keep to ourselves.” 

She sighed a little bit, but nodded. 

“Yeah. I guess. It would’ve just been nice to know.”

“I know. But it’s alright. We’ll sort it.” 

“I’ll let you know if they want to meet you, although I’m sure they will want too.”Borusa reassured. “I’ll let you know the details soon.” 

“Ok.” Magnus nodded. 

“Now, formally, I’m going to tell you to get to class, but I’m not going to waste my breath trying to convince you.” He sat back. “Dismissed.” 

-

“I just think it’s dumb! Why can’t we do it with six people?” Ushas groaned, as they hopped their way back into the field. 

“It’s actually a very clever system,” Mortimus began. “It’s to do with the four parts of an experiment and-“

“I was being rhetorical.” She rolled her eyes. 

“If they’re anything like us, they can’t be that bad.” Theta pointed out optimistically. “I mean- you guys thought Koschei and I weren’t great when we met, and we didn’t trust you all that much either, but we get on fine.”

“I know, but we didn’t have to move in with you.” Ushas grumbled. 

“I’m with Theta,” Drax shrugged. “Can’t be that bad.”

“Do you often form opinions for yourself though, Drax?” She scowled at him. He seemed unphased, and shrugged. 

“Why should I? What’s the point in thinking if people can do it for you?”

“Ushas, calm down.” Koschei sighed deeply. “You haven’t even met them yet. It’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say. You could charm a rock.” She pointed out. Theta shrugged and nodded a little. She had a point. 

“I’m just saying,” Koschei rolled his eyes. “Complain about it after the fact.”

“Fine. I will.”

“I’ll probably join you Ushas.” Magnus muttered. “I’m not happy about it either.”

“Thank you! Finally someone with some sense.” She smacked him on the back, and Theta rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not a bad thing to be an optimist.” She argued. Koschei made an expression that read as ‘ehhh so-so.’ 

“Debatable, but I see where you’re coming from, love.” 

Theta wasn’t sure that was debatable, but she wasn’t about to argue. Not after what had happened last time. 

“Point is, it’ll be fine. And if it’s not, we’ll figure something out.” She reassured.


	89. Eighty-nine

“What are you thinking?” Theta asked, trying to brush out a stubborn knot from her hair. She didn’t often brush her hair, but this knot was beginning to drive her mad. 

“I don’t know.” Koschei admitted, doing some minor clearing up in front of her. “Like Ushas said, it would’ve been nice to know.” 

“Yeah, you’re not wrong.” She sighed, pulling on the knot. She winced but kept brushing. “Still, I’m sure they’re not that bad.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried we might end up with five Ushas’.”

“I thought you liked Ushas.” 

“I do, but one is more than enough.” 

“Yeah, that’s- ow!” She hissed. Koschei sighed and put down the clothes he was putting away to sit beside her. 

“You know,” he took the hairbrush off of her and began to gently brush through her hair. “Patience is a virtue, my darling.” 

“Well I don’t have it.” She grumbled. Koschei chuckled, and softly began to untangle the knot with the brush. 

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” 

“Am I the only one who’s looking forward to meeting new people?” She asked. Koschei shrugged. 

“No, I think Mort’s excited. Then again, Mort’ is just excited about whatever you’re excited about.”

“I like him.” She smiled a little at the thought of her friend. 

“Oh, it’s mutual.” He muttered, focusing on the knot. “Probably a little bit more on his end.” 

“What do you mean?” She asked. Koschei sat back. 

“There, knots all gone.” He smiled at her, before leaning across and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Never change, my dear. Your obliviousness is incredibly endearing.” 

“What?? I’m not oblivious!” 

“No, no, of course not. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

She huffed and ran her fingers through her hair. 

“Thank you.” She grumbled. 

“You are very welcome.” 

-

Theta wandered out of the dinner hall after said dinner, where Mortimus caught her on the arm. She jumped a little bit and turned, where he was smiling at her tightly. 

“Hey, um- can I- can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” Theta nodded. She turned back to Koschei, who had his eyebrows raised at them. “Mort’ wants to talk to me. I won’t be long.” 

Koschei glanced him up and down, and nodded slowly. 

“Alright.” He turned away and caught up with the others. 

“So what’s eatin ya, Mort?” She asked, pocketing her hands. 

“Well,” he sighed and they began their way slowly back towards the dorms, about ten metres behind the others. “I just wanted to ask you, if- Uh- if you’re going out with Koschei?”

Theta nodded. 

“Mhm! Why?”

“Oh- I-“ he stuttered for a moment. “Um- Drax wanted to know, and I said I’d ask him for you.” 

“Oh, ok.” Theta nodded. That didn’t sound like Drax, but she guessed Mortimus knew him better than she did. “Why does he want to know?”

“It’s Drax,” Mortimus scoffed a little. “You know what he’s like. Nosy and shit.”

“I guess,” she agreed. 

“So..how long have you been going out?” He asked. Theta hummed for a moment. 

“Uhh..I think, like, sixty years. I kinda lose count sometimes, but that sounds about right.” 

“You must make each other pretty happy then.” He scoffed a tiny bit. It seemed a little forced, and Theta was in half the mind to ask him if he was ok. 

“I think we do. Well- at least he makes me happy. I suppose you’d have to ask him if that was mutual. She laughed a little. Mortimus nodded. 

“Well that’s good. I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Thanks Mort.” She smiled a little, before pausing a glancing at him. “Are you happy?” 

“What?” He asked. “Just generally?”

“Yeah.” 

“Our friends don’t usually check on each other’s wellbeing.” He pointed out with a scoff. 

“No. Well y’know. Maybe it should just be an us thing. Cuz I think it’s important. So how are you?”

“I’m alright.” Mortimus smiled a little. “How are you?”

“Pretty good, Mort. Pretty good.” She nodded. 

-

“You should all take a leaf out of Drax’s book if I’m honest.” Borusa shrugged, glancing around their frowns on the tram. Drax was staring out of the window, looking quite content with life, when he glanced back at his name being said. “The rest of you look like you just sucked on a lemon.” 

“That’s just my resting face.” Ushas pointed out. 

“I feel fine.” Theta shrugged. “I like meeting new people.” 

“Y’know, for some reason, Theta, I saw that one coming.” Borusa pointed out. 

“Yeah, because Theta’s never had a bad day in her life.” Ushas grumbled. “I mean seriously, why do you always look so happy? It’s infuriating.” 

“Leave her alone, Ushas.” Koschei rolled his eyes. “Don’t take your anger out on any of us, this isn’t our faults.” 

“No, but you’re all easy targets.” She sighed. 

The tram pulled to a stop, outside of an academy that Theta had never visited. 

Borusa sighed. 

“Alright ladies, at least try and look like you weren’t forced at gunpoint to come here.” He stood up, and the rest of them followed him off of the tram. 

They were greeted by a man, who Borusa exchanged a few words with, before leading them into campus. 

It looked a lot like theirs, if not just a different layout, and less damage. The Academy back home was righted after the Dalek attack, but the repairs were obvious, and since then, there had been a certain, rather monotone atmosphere that couldn’t quite be shifted. That didn’t exist here, and it was clear that none of their students had been exposed to a war, like they had. 

They were lead into the school building, and up the winding corridors. The air and the journey there were the only two things from stopping Theta from thinking she was at her own Academy. 

They ended up stopping in front of a classroom, which Borusa stepped aside from and let them in. 

The six of them herded into the room, and Borusa shut the door, leaving them alone with four others. 

They didn’t look impressed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my faves! And..y’know, Vansell, in one place!!


	90. Ninety

“Hi!” The only woman spoke first, and Theta couldn’t take her eyes off of her for a moment, because of her striking blue hair. She’d never seen anything like it, and Theta’s short attention span and easily distracted brain did nothing to help the situation, so she just ended up staring at the woman’s hair for a moment. 

She put her hand forward and shook each of their hands, Theta finally pulling her gaze away. 

“It’s really great to meet you,” she said sweetly. “My names Millennia.” She turned back to the other three men. “And this is, Vansell, Rallon, and Jelpax.” She gestured to them respectively. 

“Hi.” Rallon offered, pulling up a small wave. 

Jelpax smiled at them all. He seemed rather happy to be there, which Theta felt good knowing. 

Vansell only nodded. 

“I’m Drax,” Drax said, stepping a little bit forward to gesture to the others. “This is Magnus, Ushas, Mortimus, Koschei and Theta.”

They all let out little ‘hi’s all at once. Theta could feel the awkwardness of the situation, but she was sure they’d get there. 

“So I guess we’re going to be living together.” Millennia pointed out. They all nodded. “I’m excited, I don’t know about you. I’d rather, anywhere’s better than the Academy.”

“Right?” Theta piped up, eager to try and establish a good impression of her own. “We bloody hate it back at ours too.”

“Is it much different?” She asked. Theta shook her head. 

“No. Maybe a bit more damaged. You haven’t had a Dalek attack here, have you?”

“No,” Millennia shook her head. “Thankfully.” 

-

They ended up splitting up into small groups, and sitting on desks to chat. It was honestly going better than Theta and expected, She’d even heard some of her friends laughing. 

Koschei and Ushas were deep in conversation with Vansell, Magnus with Rallon and Drax snorting with laughter with Jelpax. 

Theta and Mortimus were sat on a table, chatting to Millennia, who smiled at Jelpax and Drax. 

“Those two seem to be getting on.” She pointed out. 

“Drax could make friends with a rock.” Theta scoffed. “He just loves everyone.”

“It’s sweet,” Millennia smiled, turning back around to face them. The movement caught Theta’s attention back to her hair, and for a long moment she was just staring at it, watching it shift in the light. “Theta?”

“Sorry!” She shook herself out of it. “Sorry. I just can’t stop looking at your hair. It’s beautiful.” 

“Aw, thank you.” 

“It’s ok.” She blinked at it. “Blue’s my favourite colour.” 

“This might happen a lot,” Mortimus scoffed beside her. “Theta has a famously short attention span.” She could hear him talking about her, but she couldn’t stop staring at the blue. It was so striking. “And I think bright colours might be a trigger for that.”

“That’s interesting.” Millennia hummed. “Has she always been like that?”

“Well I haven’t known her for all that long, so you’d have to ask her or Koschei, but she certainly has for as long as I’ve known her. Short attention span, can’t concentrate, never stops fidgeting. Forgetful, jittery, restless. There’s probably a name for it somewhere but I can’t find it.” 

“Why is it blue?” Theta asked, butting in. She’d run through every possibility, but she couldn’t figure it out. 

“No ones sure.” Millennia shrugged. “It’s just the way I was born.” 

“Huh.” Theta pulled herself out of the daze, and forced herself to look at Millennia over her hair. “So how are the others?” 

“Oh, y’know, they’re good. Jelpax is just happy to be here really. Well, he’s happy to be everywhere, y’know? Just likes to be around his friends.”

“That’ll be why he and Drax are getting on so well.” Mortimus pointed out. 

“Rallon’s a sweetheart, but I guess I was always going to say that, as his girlfriend.” She scoffed. “He was a bit nervous today but he looks to be having an alright time.” She glanced at Vansell. “Y’know, I have no idea why Vansell hangs out with us to be honest. He loves rules, I mean- I’m pretty sure he wishes there were rules on how to eat your breakfast.” She shrugged a little, and glanced back at them. “But he’s ok. He’s pretty funny, and he’s nice to have around. To get us out of all of the weird shit Jelpax gets us all into.”

“And you? I imagine you keep them all in check?” Theta asked with a laugh. Millennia laughed, and nodded. 

“That sounds about right.” She smiled at them. “What about you lot?” 

“Well,” Theta sat back, and looked around at her friends. “Magnus is kind of our..silent leader type. He’ll kind of let us do whatever we want, unless it’s unbelievably stupid, and he’ll stop us. We didn’t really realise how important he was until he left for a week, and Ushas tried to murder Drax.” Millennia blinked, and laughed a little in disbelief. 

“Ushas will probably threaten to murder you- she does that. It’s nothing personal, really, it’s how she expresses her love. She’s the most bitter, cynical person you’ll ever meet, but she’s not bad after you get some weed into her.”

“Oh.” Millennia blinked, laughing a little. Theta couldn’t tell if it was awkward or not. 

“Drax is..to be honest I’m pretty sure he’s on something entirely different to us, but to be honest I want what he’s having.” She laughed. Mortimus scoffed beside her. “He seems to not care if he lives or dies at Ushas’ hand, and I think he just came to have some fun and make some wood sculptures.” 

“Is he always like that?” She smiled. 

“Yes.” Mortimus confirmed. “Always has been. I’m sure he and Jelpax will get on famously.” 

“They will.” She glanced back at the others. “And Koschei?” 

“Koschei is really the only thing that keeps Ushas from biting our heads off.” Theta laughed. “He’s kind of the sensible one- most of the time. And he’s the only one who really knows what Ushas is going on about when she rants about her experiments.”

“Oh,” Millennia glanced back at them. “Are they in a relationship?” 

“No,” Mortimus got in before Theta, and nodded at her. “Koschei’s with Theta.” 

“Oh!” She gasped. “Oh god, I’m so sorry Theta.”

“No, no,” Theta smiled. “It’s ok, I totally understand why you might’ve thought that. I’m not sure why she listens to Koschei either, if I’m honest.” 

“And what about you two?” She asked. Theta slapped Mortimus on the back. 

“Mort’s our brains. Well- I mean, we’ve all got brains, but Mort’s the only one you’d know had one.” He scoffed. “I think you’re the glue of this group, really.”

“What? I’d say you are.” He frowned. Theta scoffed. 

“Nah. You’re the one everyone likes.” She looked back at Millennia. “He’s the one everyone likes.” 

“Well everyone loves Theta.” Mortimus added. “I think you’re the glue, cuz you always make everyone laugh, and you always try and stay optimistic.” He glanced back at Millennia. “Theta could tell you anything about any animal. Or insect. She’s a massive diplomat, too. Which comes in handy with the rest of them.” 

“Thanks Mort’.” Theta smiled a little. It felt nice to hear someone singing her praises. It was a nice change. “We struggle sometimes, but we get on. Like a really dysfunctional family.” 

“Well, now you’ve got four more dysfunctional long lost cousins.” 

Theta laughed. 

-

“Well, what did you think of Millennia?” Magnus asked, on the tram back. Borusa sat quietly beside them, and listened. 

Theta shrugged. 

“She was nice. Seemed happy to be there. I felt like she could be my big sister.” 

“Theta couldn’t stop looking at her hair.” Mortimus sniggered. She huffed and shoved him. 

“It was pretty! I’ve never seen anyone with blue hair before.” She justified.

“It was pretty.” Koschei shrugged. 

“Exactly,” Theta grumbled, a little embarrassed. “What did you think of the others?” She moved the conversation swiftly onwards. 

“Rallon was alright,” Magnus shrugged. “We just talked about books and stuff. Isn’t he going out with Millennia?” 

“Yeah.” Mortimus nodded. 

“I want to move in with them right now!” Drax grinned. “Jelpax was great.”

“Jesus, I’ve never seen you that happy Drax, chill out.” Ushas scoffed. 

“Awww,” Magnus grinned. “Our Draxxy’s found his soulmate.” 

“Shut up,” he groaned, kicking Magnus across the isle. Magnus sniggered and dodged it. 

“Vansell was weird.” Ushas shook her head. “He seemed way too uptight.”

“Yeah, he was kinda weird. But maybe he was just nervous.” Koschei shrugged. 

“Probably.” 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Theta reassured. “He’s probably a nice guy, if he’s hanging out with people like Millennia.”

“Bold of you to assume,” Drax grinned. “We’re all nice, but we still hang out with Ushas.” 

“Look me in the eye, say that again, and we’ll see what happens.” Ushas scowled at him. Drax laughed, but didn’t dare say it again. 


	91. Ninety-one

“So what did you think? Really?” Koschei asked. Theta glanced at him, and shrugged. 

“I liked her. She was really nice, and I don’t think the others seemed that bad either.” She answered truthfully. “Why? What did you think of them?”

“I dunno,” Koschei shrugged, “I’m not sure I’m the kind of person that will get on with Vansell, but Millennia, at least, seemed bearable.”

“You just need to give them a chance first.” Theta encouraged. “It’ll be ok.”

“We can hope.” He grumbled, throwing himself onto his bed, and an arm over his eyes. 

Theta sighed a little, and moved to sit on his window sill. Sometimes it was hard being the optimist. 

“Theta?”

“Hm?”

“What do you think of Mortimus?” He asked. Theta frowned, and glanced at him. 

“What do you mean?”

“Just tell me what you think.”

“Uh-“ she frowned a little in thought, and hummed. “He’s my friend, I like him. He’s smart, and he likes insects almost as much as I do. He makes me laugh. I like spending time with him.”

“Ok.” He was quiet for a moment, and Theta was about to ask why he was curious, before he spoke again. “Do you like spending time with me more?”

“What?” She frowned. Koschei sat up, and looked at her, stare deliberate. 

“Do you like spending time with me, more than him?” He repeated. Theta shrugged a little, frowning. 

“I- I don’t know. I like being around you both for entirely different reasons. He’s a friend, you’re my boyfriend. They’re not comparable.”

“So that’s a no then?” 

“No,” Theta said sharply. She paused to force herself back to neutrality. She didn’t want to have an argument, not after last time. “I never said that.” She said softly. 

“So why do you like spending time with him?” Theta almost groaned at his insistence. 

“I don’t know. Uh- He’s funny. And sweet- he- he says nice things about me, and it makes me feel like I’m not so bad.”

“But I do that too.” Koschei argued. Theta shrugged. Did he? She couldn’t really remember the last time he’d complimented her. 

“I know,” she said instead, and glanced down at her lap. “I’m not saying you don’t. You asked, I answered.” 

Whatever mood Koschei had been in, he seemed to snap out of it, as he got up and crossed the room, sitting opposite her. 

“Theta?” He asked softly. “Do I make you feel better about yourself? Honestly?”

“Yes.” She said a little bit too quickly. Koschei frowned and she sighed. “I don’t know. I think you do.”

“But I promised you I would.” He said quietly, putting a hand to her cheek. “I said I’d make you hate yourself less.”

“It’s not your fault it’s an almost impossible task.” 

“But it shouldn’t be,” he frowned, stroking some hair from her face. “You shouldn’t hate yourself Thee’. Because you’re beautiful, and so bloody clever, and the kindest person I’ve ever met.” 

Theta glanced to the window, and swallowed. 

A butterfly went past. It was small, and seemed to be struggling to fly a little. Maybe it was young. Or maybe it was dying. 

Theta glanced back at him, and nodded. 

“Thank you.”

“No, please Theta. Don’t just bat it off and say thank you. I really mean it. And I want you to know that I really mean it.” 

“I do know.” She reassured, rather lamely. Koschei frowned at her a little, before shuffling closer. 

“Well..do you know that every time I look into your eyes, I fall in love a little bit more, because I can’t even begin to comprehend the amount of awe, and wonder at the world that you somehow manage to fit into them. And I think, somehow finding joy and fascination in a place that we hate so much, might just be the most beautiful thing I could imagine, and you don’t even realising you’re doing it. Cuz- I think that’s incredible. That you’re doing something so gorgeous, and you’re not even thinking about it.” 

Theta stared at him in disbelief, not really sure what to say. 

“Do you really mean that?” She mumbled. 

“Of course I do.” Koschei nodded. 

“Oh.” She looked down at her lap, and felt her face flush. Why was she blushing? It was just Koschei. Then again, maybe it was just Koschei. She seemed to have forgotten how much of a sap he could be. “Thank you.” 

She glanced up at him, and Koschei glanced down at her lips. His gaze flickered back up to her eyes and she swallowed tightly. 

Koschei leant across the small gap and pressed his lips to hers. Theta’s heart was pounding, and she didn’t even know why. She had no reason to be nervous. They’d done this millions of times. 

But it felt as if they never had. They both moved with such soft apprehension, it was like she’d never kissed anyone before. 

Koschei hesitantly moved a hand up to caress her burning cheek, and Theta leant into the touch. He stroked his thumb over her cheek bone and pulled away minutely, searching her face for a moment. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He said softly. “You’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever known.” 

“Koschei,” she trailed off, glancing down and huffing out a small, nervous laugh. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“Why?” He frowned a little. “It’s true. I mean it.” 

“I know. I think that’s why.” 

Theta glanced back up, and kissed him again. 

They both missed the butterfly going past. It was large, and not going anywhere. 

-

“Theta?” 

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna go cause some trouble?”

“What do you mean?” She asked, glancing up from her book. 

“Let’s go and be a nuisance somewhere.” Koschei grinned at her. Theta smiled fondly at his attitude, and raised her eyebrows. 

“What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, humming in thought. “What if we broke into Delathorpo’s office and stole some of his files.”

“Alright, down.” 

That was how the two of them snuck across campus and into the Academy building after everyone had gone to bed. 

Really, it was too easy to slip into his office. He’d kept it unlocked, he was practically begging someone to come along and nick something. 

“What should we take?” Koschei asked. Theta hummed in thought for a moment, running her fingers over the top of the filing cabinet. 

She opened one of the drawers and flicked through the tons of files he had in there, searching for anything remotely interesting. 

“Thee’? Give us a hairpin will you? I wanna see what he keeps locked in his desk.” Theta took out a hairpin she only had for situations like this, and passed it to Koschei, who began to pick the lock on Delathorpo’s drawer in his desk. 

“It’s all just admin. Staff, classes, Jurists.” Theta muttered. “Oh, let’s see what shit he’s got on Borusa.” She picked the file up and cracked it open, scanning for anything out of the ordinary. 

Koschei opened the drawer in the desk, and frowned deeply. 

“What the hell?” 

“What?” Theta glanced up, as Koschei took a file out of the drawer. 

“The only file in here is yours.” He explained. Theta frowned, shoving Borusa’s file back into the cabinet and making her way around the desk, standing next to Koschei. 

“That’s weird.” She shrugged. “Maybe he just keeps the ones he was looking at most recently in his desk.” She hypothesised. Koschei shook his head. 

“No, look,” he pointed at the print right below her name, where it said ‘confidential.’ They glanced at each other and frowned. 

“I don’t understand.” Theta admitted. Koschei moved to open the file, when there was a noise outside. They ducked behind the desk as Mr Delathorpo entered the room, having a conversation with someone who sounded like they were still stood outside. 

“No, I’d say it went about as well as can be expected.” That was Borusa. Theta glanced at Koschei, and listened to a rustling coming from the filing cabinet, as their headmaster looked for something. “They are all introverted kids, but they all seemed to get along with the others. Especially Drax.”

“Good,” Mr Delathorpo replied. “And Theta? Is she still making progress?” She frowned at Koschei. 

“I’d say so,” Borusa considered. “She ventures further from his side now, but he’s still very quick to defend her, even over a joke. I’m not sure if the relationship is becoming more one-sided. But she seems a lot more prepared to enter new relationships than she was when we first met.”

“That’s good,” Delathorpo seemed to find what he was looking for. “And is she still confiding in you?” 

“Partially.” Borusa replied. “I don’t pretend to know everything about her, and I’m sure she’s hiding one hundred and one other things for me. But she talks to me. I’ve found myself growing rather fond of her, even if she is insufferably..Theta.”

“Well, attachment to her isn’t a bad thing, as long as she can sense it.” He closed the cabinet, and began out of the room. “As long as we can stop her from going back to only..” they trailed off into the distance, and Theta and Koschei slowly stood back up. 

Theta wasn’t sure how to feel. She had no idea what was going on, but she almost felt betrayed. She, quite honestly, trusted Borusa, and now it seemed to her that he had a hidden agenda. 

Why were they so interested in her anyway? 

“What the hell was that about?” Koschei whispered. Theta just shook her head. 

“I have no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theta and Koschei: the best detectives around 😎🕵️👀🙌


	92. Ninety-two

“I didn’t like that,” Koschei frowned, as they walked back through campus towards their dorms. “That seemed way too suspicious to be anything trustworthy.”

“Yeah.” Was all she said. Really, Theta’s mind was going a mile a minute.She didn’t understand. Why were they so concerned with her having relationships with other people? Why didn’t they want her to only have Koschei? Why did it seem like they’d been monitoring her so closely? 

It made her skin crawl. She didn’t feel comfortable. Were they watching her? Who could she trust? What did they want?

“Thee’, are you ok?” Koschei asked, putting a hand on the small of her back. Theta nodded a little, and glanced at him. 

“Yeah. Just..confused.” She explained. “And, I don’t know- I trusted Borusa. He was like the only adult I trusted and now it feels like he has ulterior motives. And I don’t understand what they are and I don’t like that.”

“So we’ll figure it out,” he reassured the best he could. Still, Theta could tell, Koschei didn’t know how they were going to do that. “We’ll work it out.”

Theta sighed, and shook her head, glancing at the ground.

“I’m just starting to feel like a bloody science experiment again.” She muttered. Koschei stopped her in the middle of the courtyard and took her by the shoulders, spinning her around to face him. 

“You’re not a science experiment, my love. I promise. And if anyone makes you feel like you are, then I’ll sort it out.” 

“How?” She asked. Koschei shrugged a little. 

“I’d figure something out. If they treated you like that I’d probably burn them alive, if you’d let me.” 

“Which I wouldn’t.” Theta rolled her eyes and scoffed, turning to start walking again. She interlocked her fingers with his. 

“No, I know. But I would, if you did. I’d burn this whole planet to the ground for you, if you needed me too.” Sometimes Theta wondered if Koschei knew that what he was saying could also be taken in a whole other direction, rather than good intent. Theta knew he was trying to be sweet though, it was something she’d learnt slowly. 

“I know Kos’, but I would never need you to do that for me.” 

“Maybe you’d never want me to do that for you, but needing it is an entirely different thing.”

“In what world would I need to burn Gallifrey to the ground?” She asked, swinging their arms together. Whilst slightly morbid, this topic was helping her stop thinking about Borusa, which for now, was a good thing. She knew it would all catch up to her again when she was lying in bed, but Theta knew there was nothing to be done about that. 

“Lots of reasons,” Koschei shrugged. “War, mainly. Maybe if they were all in immense suffering. Maybe cuz the whole systems corrupt.”

“Yeah, but there’s still innocent people on Gallifrey, who don’t deserve to be murdered for the sins of the High Council.” Theta pointed out. Koschei sighed a little and shrugged. 

“Might just be better to put them out of their misery though.”

“What? Even all the children?” She raised a bemused eyebrow as they made their way up the stairs. 

“Especially the children. They’re in it the worst. Even if they are innocent.”

“Do you know how many children there are on Gallifrey?” Theta asked. Koschei frowned and unlocked his door, before stepping in. 

“No. Do you?”

“No.” 

-

Theta and Koschei couldn’t sleep. They’d tried, for hours, but it was fruitless. 

Eventually, they both got up. 

Koschei paced, tapping the beats of four onto his hand, gently enough for Theta to know that it wasn’t overwhelming him, so she left him to think. 

Theta was fairly preoccupied as it was. She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking. 

She couldn’t think of a single thing it could be. Why Borusa and Delathorpo were keeping such a close eye on her. Theta couldn’t even decide wether she thought they had ill intent or not. 

She contemplated marching into Borusa’s office the next day, and demanding answers, but Theta didn’t think that would get her very far. Borusa didn’t seem like the type to give everything away at the smallest nudge. 

So, she considered, maybe she’d try worming it out of him. Then again, Theta knew he was smarter than that. 

She supposed she could just try and break back into Delathorpo’s office and look at her files, but she wasn’t sure what that would do. She knew what was on her file. Her name, her age, her details, and her school record. It was the same thing that was on everyone’s file. 

But, if it was just a normal file, why did Delathorpo keep it in a locked drawer? And why did it say confidential on it?

Theta groaned, and ran a hand over her face. None of it made sense. She was confused, felt quite betrayed, and maybe just a little scared. 

Had she been wrong to open up relationships to more than just Koschei? How could she really trust any of them? 

She’d always felt like Borusa understood her, but at the end of the day, he was still working for the corrupt system. He was still a part of it, and now, he was spying on her. That didn’t sound like someone Theta could trust. 

But then how could she trust anyone? What was to stop her from thinking that maybe the others were in on it? Maybe Ushas, Mortimus, Drax and Magnus had something to do with it? Was everyone against her? What if she was truly alone? 

“Theta,” Koschei pulled her out of her spiral and she glanced across the room. “You’re thinking awfully loudly. I can hear you from here and you’ve still got your walls up.” 

“Sorry.” She mumbled, turning to look back at the ceiling. “This has just messed with me a lot.” She mumbled. 

Koschei stopped his pacing to sit down on the bed next to her. He put a hand on her knee and squeezed. 

“We’ll figure it out, Thee’, I promise. But you don’t have to let it get you down.”

“No, it’s not that.” She shook her head. “I’m just confused. And now I don’t know who to trust.” She sat up a little. 

“Well, even so, you know you can at least trust one person. And that’s better than none, right?” He asked. Theta knew he was trying his best to be optimistic, because Koschei didn’t have the answers. It didn’t make her feel much better, but she didn’t want him to feel bad, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself close. 

“Mhm.” She nodded into the crook of his neck. Koschei wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders and rocked her slowly. 

“It’ll be ok, Thee’. I’m here.”

“I know,” she mumbled, holding on tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He didn’t let go. Theta sighed. 

“It’s my fault really. Every adult I’ve ever met’s let me down. I don’t know why I thought Borusa would be any different.” 

“Maybe it was manipulation.” Koschei suggested. “Or maybe he really doesn’t have any ill intent. I don’t know.”

“Do you think I should ask him?” Theta asked. 

“I don’t know.” Koschei repeated. “I’m not sure if we’ll get more information by snooping around, or just confronting him.” 

“I think he seems pretty eager to keep me in the dark about this.” Theta considered. “I don’t think he’d tell me anything.”

“Then we’ll have to be subtle about it.” 

-

“Theta?” She turned at her name, and looked at Borusa. 

“Sir?”

“Come in.” He ushered her into his office. She sighed and made her way, sitting down and fidgeting a little. Borusa sat opposite her, and raised his eyebrows. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” She nodded. 

“Ok,” he sighed, but didn’t press. “I just wanted to know how you were feeling about moving on to the Deca soon, since your time at the Academy is almost over?” He asked. Theta shrugged a little, and didn’t answer. 

“Why do you always check on me?” She asked. Borusa shrugged a little. 

“I’m your Jurist, it’s my job.”

“Yeah, but you’re not just my jurist. You have other students you have to look after too. But you never pull Koschei or anyone in here.” 

“I trust Koschei to be perfectly fine, unless you have something you want to tell me about him?” He asked. Theta shook her head. 

“No. But how would you know if he was fine if you never talk to him? Why do you only focus on me?”

“I don’t.” Borusa shrugged. “I have meetings every week with Sanfej, and Magnus, to name a few. My life doesn’t revolve around you, Theta.” 

She almost scoffed. 

Then again, maybe he was right. Maybe she was overplaying it. Maybe she’d just happened to hear a conversation about her, that had maybe only taken up two minutes of their full discussion. 

But that didn’t explain the confidential file in the locked drawer. It just didn’t add up. 

“Why do you have meetings with Sanfej and Magnus?” She asked. 

“That’s confidential, Theta. They have issues outside of academia that they need some help with. That’s all I can tell you.” That was fine. That was all she needed. 

“So what’s my issue?” She asked. Borusa paused, and sighed. 

“I just think..you could do with someone to talk to, Theta. You don’t seem big on trusting adults, and I wanted to be someone who wasn’t Koschei, that you could talk to, should you ever have issues. Because I’m sure you do. Ones I know about and ones I don’t.” 

Theta just shrugged. 

She almost believed him. 


	93. Ninety-three

“So?” Koschei asked, as Theta sat beside him on the roof. “Did you get anything out of him?”

“No,” she sighed deeply. “He just spun the usual bullshit about me needing someone to talk too that wasn’t you.” 

They hadn’t been on the roof together in what felt like years. Maybe it was years. Time began to muddle together the longer Theta stayed at the Academy.

It felt nice. Like they were children again, before they had any plans of the future, and before they had anyone else but each other. 

“I’m sorry.” Koschei frowned. “I’m sure we’ll find something.” 

“I just don’t see what the problem with only trusting you is. Why is everyone so keen to tear us apart?” 

“I’m not sure.” He admitted, putting a hand on her knee and squeezing. “The important thing is that we don’t let them.” 

Theta glanced at him for a moment, searching his face, before giving him a small nod. 

“Kos’?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you trust me?” She asked. “Like properly trust me.” Koschei frowned, rubbing a small circle over Theta’s knee. 

“Of course I do. Why would you ask that, my love?” 

“I don’t know.” She sighed and a meek shrug lifted her shoulders. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. What with- y’know, wiping your memory.”

“But that was an accident, Thee’. I know you didn’t mean to do it. I think I trust you even more for telling me about it afterwards. It was probably the safer bet to just let me forget about it forever. But you still ran the risk of me being angry at you, because it was the right thing, and you love me.”

“I guess.” She exhaled, watching the movement of the circles Koschei’s thumb was making on her knee. “It doesn’t stop me from feeling shit about it though.”

“Well don’t,” Koschei wrapped an arm around her and tugged her close gently. Theta shifted and put her head on his shoulder, relaxing a little. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and rubbed her upper arm reassuringly. “I know you’d never hurt me on purpose.” 

Theta nodded a little, staring out into the warm night of Gallifrey for a long while, thinking. 

“Do you think I’m a good person?” She asked Koschei. She could feel him frowning, and glancing down at her, but Theta didn’t move her line of sight. 

“Honestly, Theta, I’m not sure there’s such a thing as a good or a bad person.” Of course he thought that. 

Theta reigned in a small sigh. 

“Well, as someone who thinks there is, do you think I’m a good one?” She asked. Koschei didn’t say anything for a long moment, and Theta was beginning to dread his answer. 

“I guess.” 

“You guess?” Theta took her head off his shoulder and stared at him, panic setting in. Did he not think she was a good person? What did that mean? 

“No, no, I do. I think you are.” Koschei back-peddled, and Theta frowned. 

“Really?” She asked, skeptical. He nodded. 

“Yeah. You help people, you try to do what you think is the right thing, even when it’s detrimental to you. You’re kind to everyone, you listen to people’s problems. You’re a good person, Thee’.” 

She nodded slowly, as if trying to convince herself, and gently put her head back on his shoulder. This time, Koschei put his on top. 

They were silent for a long while. 

“I think you’re a good person, Kos’.” 

“I’m not sure I care to be one.” He said softly. A frown tugged at her brow. 

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t believe in them.” He repeated. “And I don’t really care wether the whole world thinks I’m a good person or not. As long as you think I’m someone you could still love, that’s more than good enough for me.” 

“You only care what I think?” 

“Mhm.”

“What about Ushas and the others?” She asked. Koschei shrugged. 

“I like them. I don’t argue that there’s any sentimental attachment.” Theta frowned in confusion. 

“How?” She asked. “We spend so much time with them?”

“It’s a means to and end, my darling. The way we get the money to get us out of here. They won’t be coming with us, so why get attached?” 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But..it’s not something conscious. You just do get attached. They’re our friends.”

“I know.” He said softly. Koschei didn’t say anything else, and Theta didn’t pretend to understand where he was coming from. 

She closed her eyes for a moment, and felt the cold breeze wash over her. At least the breezes were cool, at night. It seemed to be the only cool thing about Gallifrey. 

“Theta?” Koschei asked. “Can I ask you something that you don’t have to answer?” He asked. 

“Mhm.” 

“What are your nightmares about?” He asked quietly. Theta frowned a little, and glanced at her knees. 

“Why are you asking?” 

“Because I’m just curious. Sorry, I don’t mean to press.” 

“No, it’s ok.” She murmured. “I dream about Torvic. About war. About trying to save people when the Dalek’s came. The explosions and the screaming.” 

“You never talk about that. The war upsets you?” He asked. 

“Of course it does. But what can I say? It affects everyone else too.” 

“I suppose.” He considered. “But you’re allowed tofind it upsetting.” 

“I know, but,” she shrugged. “What am I supposed to say? It’s war, it happens. It just sucks that we have to be apart of it.” 

“I know.” He sighed, and pressed a kiss to her temple again. “But you’re allowed to be upset.”

“I know.” She said quietly. “And I am, clearly. It keeps me up at night. But what else am I supposed to do?” 

“Maybe you could talk to me.” Koschei said softly. “Maybe talking about your nightmares might help you get rid of them?” He considered. Theta took her head away gently, and shot him a small, sad smile. 

“Thank you Kos’. But I don’t think I want to do that.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m not ready.” 

“Ok.” He leant forward and pressed a small kiss to her lips. “But I love you. And you can always talk to me about them when you’re ready.”

“I know,” she said softly. 

Koschei wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close into his side. 

Theta yawned a little, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“And even if I can’t do anything else, I’ll always talk about the drumming with you.”

“I know,” he nodded slowly. “I just wish we could do more.”

“Me too.” She sighed a little. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find more. I wanted to, and I’ll still try. I still want to help.” 

“I know,” Koschei nodded. “And I’m so grateful for that. I’m grateful you even believe me.”

“Of course,” she took his hand and pressed a kiss to it. “And I’ll always believe you. I’ll always try and help and I will find a way to cure it. I promise you.” 

“You can’t promise that, my darling.” 

“I can. I did and I will. I will fix it for you, or I will I find someone else to do it. You won’t live like this forever, I swear on my lives. All twelve.” 


	94. Ninety-four

Theta sat, leg bouncing on the tram as her friends chatted around her. 

They were all in pretty good moods, this was a big day. 

She ignored Borusa, and held Koschei’s hand the whole way there. 

Theta was excited really. 

She couldn’t even really comprehend that they were about to see where they’d be living somewhere that wasn’t the Academy, for the first time since she was eight. Theta hardly remembered a time where she didn’t live there. 

“What do you hope it has?” Koschei asked her privately, whilst Mortimus explained his plan for the largest library possible. 

“Honestly, not much. I’d just like a nice view and some way to get on the roof.”

Koschei laughed a little and nodded. Theta could feel Borusa looking between them. She didn’t like it. 

“What about you?” She asked. He shrugged. 

“I’m not picky. Like you said, maybe a nice view and a good roof. And maybe a bigger bed, so we don’t have to squish up as much.”

“Even if we have a double bed though, we’ll still sleep like we’re on a single. It’s habit.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He admitted. “I don’t really care if I’m honest. I’m with you, so that’s all that matters to me.” 

Theta smiled to herself as Koschei pulled her in by the shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Eventually, the tram squeaked to a halt, and the seven on them piled off. 

They seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. Theta wasn’t even really sure they weren’t, unless she listened closely. She could still hear traffic going by, so she assumed they were pretty close to the citadel, or at least a road. Wether it was for trams or the ones that were in the sky, that Theta was still yet to find the name out of, she didn’t know. But at least they weren’t far from civilisation. 

Borusa lead them towards a house on the horizon, that Theta thought looked big enough from where they were stood, at least half a mile away from it. 

“Fucking hell, no one told me we were living in a mansion.” Drax scoffed, leading the charge behind Borusa excitedly. 

“Slight overstatement, but it is big.” Mortimus conceded, following him. 

“It’s a reasonable size,” Koschei shrugged, more to Theta than anyone else. 

“Of course you’d think that Kos’,” Magnus turned to walk backwards and face the two of them. “What with your bloody huge estates.”

“They’re not my estates, they’re my dads.” Koschei explained with a roll of his eyes. “Besides, it’s not like I live there. I sleep in an identical dorm to you, Magnus.”

“Still, get to visit those estates when you go home. More than can be said for the rest of us.” 

“At least he’s not stuck up about it.” Theta interjected. “Kos’ is the most down to earth person I’ve ever met.”

“Well you have to say that, Theta, you’re going out with him.” Magnus pointed out. 

“No I don’t, I don’t have to say shit. Cuz he’s still stubborn to a fault, annoying as fuck sometimes, and a bit of a narcissistic prick.”

“So are you,” Koschei pointed out, thoroughly un-phased by Theta’s criticism. Like she knew he would be, that was why she did it. “That’s why we get on so well.”

“Got me there.” Theta agreed. 

-

The walk to the house took no more than ten minutes longer, before they were all stood in front of it, staring up at the tall building. 

“It is quite big.” Theta announced. 

“Well it’s a Deca house,” Borusa explained. “It’s designed to house ten people, and a whole lot of experiments.” He stepped towards the porch to unlock the door, before a voice was heard behind them. 

“Hey guys!” They turned to see Millennia hand in hand with Rallon, with Jelpax and Vansell trailing behind, bounding up towards the house, followed by their own Jurist. “Didn’t know you guys were seeing the house today too?”

“We didn’t know you were coming either.” Drax grinned at them. Ushas glanced to scowl at Borusa, who shrugged. 

“We can’t look at the Deca house without the whole Deca here. I knew if I told you they were coming, you’d look like that the whole way here.” 

The other four came to stand just beside them, where Rallon put his hands on his hips. 

“It’s quite big, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Mortimus nodded. 

Borusa unlocked the door and pushed it open, ushering them inside. 

“Ladies,” the ten of them stepped up the porch, and shuffled inside. 

Theta had been expecting the hall to be a tight fit, with all ten of them, but it wasn’t. It was huge, and the ten of them fit with space for probably five extra people. 

Borusa really hadn’t been lying when he said it was designed for ten people. 

“Holy shit.”

“Can we refrain from swearing?” The other Jurist droned from the door. 

The six of them shot disgusted looks at the other four. 

“Your Jurist’s a fucking drag, man,” Ushas scoffed. “Come on let’s see this place.”

-

They ended up splitting up, Theta somehow managing to get herself in a group with Koschei, Drax and Jelpax. 

They found out pretty quickly from Ushas’ loud swearing, that the house had three floors, which Theta found very exciting. 

She was glad that the house was pretty light, with large windows. 

The first floor just had a huge sort of common room, with three sofas and two arm chairs, a fireplace, and two huge bookshelves full of books. It also had three desks, that Theta assumed were for reading books or writing. 

The other room on the first floor, aside from a bathroom, was a kitchen. 

It had a large table, with ten seats, and a kitchen that could probably have at least four people all cooking something different at the same time in. It had at least three ovens, stoves, and two fridges. 

“None of us know how to cook, though.” Drax pointed out awkwardly. And it was true. None of them did know how to cook. They’d never been taught how to. 

Koschei pointed out some books on a shelf above a bread bin. 

“Cooking books. Can’t be that hard, right?”

After that, they made their way upstairs, following behind Vansell and Rallon, who had met them at the bottom out of coincidence. 

They split off again, this time Jelpax leading them into a large room. 

“Holy shit!” He gasped, at the huge library type room. 

The walls were stacked, floor to ceiling with books at one end, complete with a ladder, and a circle of desks at the other end. Surrounding those desks, were empty shelves, which Theta assumed were for putting their research on. 

It was huge, almost as big as the library at the Academy, which was for thousands of people. 

She grinned at Koschei widely, who smiled back at her. 

“I imagine I’ll find you in here a lot.” 

“Probably.” She grinned. 

“Our library back homes like, three times smaller than this,” Jelpax announced, mostly to Drax, who nodded. 

“I know right. Our one, before we came to their academy, was so small too. This is bloody huge. It’d take years to read all this lot.” He turned towards the door. “I wanna see where the real magic happens.” He marched across the landing to the only other door on that floor, which had been opened when Rallon and Vansell had gone inside. 

Theta and the boys followed him across the landing, before stopping dead. 

“Shit, man.” Theta whispered. 

She’d never seen a room like it. 

The room was the most organised chaotic mess she’d ever seen.

She didn’t even know what half of it was. There were parts of metal in a stack, along with wood and tools she’d never even imagined. 

There were test racks and tubes, along with everything Ushas could possibly want to keep her chemistry heart content. 

Drax seemed positively ecstatic, and like he knew a lot better than the rest of them what half of the stuff it had did. 

He zipped around the room, picking things up and turning them around in his hand, a bigger grin than Theta had ever seen anyone wear on his face. 

“And look at this!” He held up a small plate kind of thing, “tissue compressor,” he grinned. 

“What does it do?” Koschei asked with a frown. 

“On it’s own, shit all,” Drax shrugged. 

“Then what’s the point of it?”

“No, Kos’, don’t you see,” Theta marched over to Drax and plucked it out of his fingers, turning it over in her hands with a flame of excitement. “This is dimensional engineering.” 

Drax snapped his fingers and pointed in her direction, leaning against a work bench. 

“Theta’s on the mark.”

“No way,” Koschei followed her over and stopped in front of her. Theta gave him the tissue compressor plate, and he held it up to the light. “They let us loose with dimensional engineering in here?”

“Apparently.” Theta shrugged. 

“Drax, you said on its own it does shit all. What would it do if you made it useful?”

“Names on the tin man,” Drax shrugged, sorting through a pile of parts. “Tissue compression. It compresses tissue. Like..y’know, living organisms.”

“But surely if you compress tissue, it would kill them?” Jelpax asked, wandering over. 

“That’s the idea.” 

“Why would you make one of them?” Theta frowned. Drax shrugged. 

“I dunno,” he said. “If you’ve got a lot of enemies.”

-

The third floor was just bedrooms and bathrooms. 

They had five bedrooms, each with two single beds in them, and so the ten of them gathered in one of them after they’d looked around, to divide and conquer. 

“Millennia and I will share one.” Rallon offered, his girlfriend nodded. 

“Yeah, Theta and I can share one too.” Koschei nodded at her. 

“Yup.”

“I’ll share with Jelpax!” Drax grinned, and his new best friend nodded readily. 

“Yeah!”

“Christ,” Ushas grumbled. “I’ll go with Mort’,” she nodded at her friend. Theta didn’t blame her for not wanting to go with Magnus, especially if he still liked her, and she didn’t know Vansell either. 

“Ok,” Mortimus nodded a little. “If Vansell and Magnus don’t mind going with each other?”

“No, I don’t mind.” Magnus shrugged, glancing at Vansell, who shook his head. 

“That’s fine.” 

“Well, that was easy,” Ushas grinned. “I’m gonna go see what chemicals they’ve got.” 

Slowly, they all filed out to go and explore a little more, leaving Theta and Koschei alone. 

She made her way over to the window, and folded her arms over her chest, smiling a little. 

It was a good view. Not as good as the red fields behind her dorm room, but still one of orange valleys and maroon mountains. 

“You happy?” Koschei asked, standing beside her and wrapping an arm around her waist. Theta hummed, uncrossing her arms and wrapping one around his shoulders. 

“Yeah. I think I am. Are you?”

“I reckon.” He nodded, “I think we could make a good life here Thee’.” 

“I think so too.” 


	95. Ninety-five

“It’s gonna be weird, leaving here.” Theta considered against the cold of the night. 

There was a breeze, and it made the roof pretty cool that evening, so Theta was tucked as close to Koschei as she could manage. 

His head was on her shoulder, and hers on top of his, as Theta looked into the night. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Koschei hummed. “Maybe we’ll finally feel more free.” 

“I hope so.” Theta sighed. “God, I hope so.”

“Hey, Thee’, listen to me,” Koschei gently pulled his head away, forcing Theta to do the same, and look at him. “You’re not gonna feel like this forever, my love, I promise. Somehow, or someday, something will change, and I’ll be with you when it does.”

“I get the sneaking suspicion things won’t change until I leave this place.” Theta shrugged. “Gallifrey, I mean.” 

“Well,” Koschei squeezed her hand. “If thats what you need to do, then we’ll do it.” 

Theta smiled at Koschei. She wanted to believe him so badly. She wanted him to be right, and she wanted to know that he’d be by her side when she left like he said he’d be. 

But there was a tiny part that couldn’t. A small part, that knew she just couldn’t trust what he said. Because really, Theta didn’t know what was true from him anymore. She still didn’t really know wether he meant everything he’d said the night she wiped his memory. Theta thought some of the things he criticised her about were too specific to be just to infuriate her. 

Theta didn’t want to think about that night. 

So she ducked away from it, and kissed Koschei instead, eager for a distraction from her lack of trust in him. 

Koschei put a hand on her cheek, and kissed her back gently, smiling softly against her lips. Theta relaxed slowly, and let herself fall into it, and the pure feelings she had for Koschei. Before it got complicated with things like trust and fear, the truth was, Theta loved him. So much. And sometimes, that was enough. 

Koschei hummed against her lips, and slowly leant her backwards, until her back hit the roof gently. 

She sighed contentedly into his lips, winding her arms around his neck and letting Koschei lazily slip his tongue into her mouth. 

“Evening lovebirds.” 

“Ah!”

Koschei and Theta shot up and away from one another at the speed of light, jumping at Ushas’ sudden presence beside them. Koschei put a hand to his chest. 

“Christ Ushas! You almost stopped a heart.” 

“Well excuse me for not wanting to stand here and watch you shag on a roof.” 

“Y’know we do have some decency.” Theta pointed out, as Ushas purposefully shoved them both out of the way and sat down between them. “We’ve never done it on a roof.” Ushas shot her a look. 

“Ouch. You guys are boring.”

“What are you doing up here, Ushas?” Koschei asked with a roll of his eyes. 

“Smoking.” Ushas held up the blunt she had balanced between her fingers. “What are you two doing up here? Or do I need to ask that?”

“We were just talking.” Theta grumbled. 

“Yeah, there looked to be a lot of talking going on.” Ushas held the blunt out to Theta, who glanced at it for a moment, and took it from her fingers. 

She took a long drag, and exhaled slowly, passing it back to Ushas, who then offered it to Koschei. 

“I’m good.” He shrugged, instead watching the way the smoke left his girlfriends lips. 

“Your loss, lover boy.” Ushas rolled her eyes, not needing to follow his gaze to know where he was looking, and sat back a little, taking another drag. “So, you two shitting it yet?”

“I feel like shitting it might be a bit of an overstatement.” Theta considered, taking another drag as it was passed back to her. “I mean, I’m nervous, sure.” She handed it back. “Are you?”

“Not really. I’m just looking forward to getting out of this shithole.” 

“Me too.” Koschei agreed beside her. 

“I thought you liked the Academy?” Ushas asked, passing the blunt back to Theta. 

“Parts of it. I like not having to worry about where my foods coming from and shit. I like having a place to sleep. I just don’t like how much it hurts Theta.”

“Oh no, what’s eating you, Blondie?” Ushas turned to look at Theta, who shrugged and rolled the blunt between her fingers absently. How did she explain it? It was hard enough trying to figure it out for herself. 

“I just don’t like it here. I hate being treated like a child. I don’t want to get yelled at anymore. Or told I’m in the wrong for having different opinions to the adults.” Theta took a short drag, and gave it back to Ushas. 

“You do get yelled at a lot.” Her friend coincided. 

“And what about you?” She asked. “Are you excited to leave?”

“Yeah.” Ushas nodded. “I’m looking forward to being able to blow stuff up on purpose, and not having to get in trouble.” She grinned. “Y’know, the important stuff.”

“Of course,” Theta scoffed. 

“How are you feeling about the other four?” Koschei asked her. Theta nodded, taking another drag as it was given back to her, before passing it back. 

Ushas shrugged. 

“Dunno enough about ‘em to say. Think some of them are alright. I don’t know if I’ll get along with all of them. Millennia seems like a constant ray of sunshine which I think will get annoying, and therefore, I don’t know about Rallon. Jelpax seems like another Drax which is the last thing I ever wanted, and Vansell seems proper suspicious.”

“So basically you don’t trust any of them?” Theta asked. 

“Yeah pretty much.” Ushas nodded. “But these things come with time, y’know. And if I don’t like them I can lock myself in my room and only come out when I need food.” 

“An interesting solution and one I feel like I’d have to disagree with, for your own wellbeing.” Theta muttered, watching Ushas take a drag and shrug. 

“Like you give a shit about my wellbeing.” She scoffed. 

“Course I do,” Theta frowned, nudging her with her elbow. “You’re my mate.” 

Ushas glanced at her, regarding her with suspicion. 

“Am I?”

“Well duh.” She frowned. “Would I be sharing a blunt with you if I didn’t at least like you?” 

“Dunno,” Ushas shrugged, laying back on the roof with the blunt between her lips. “Might’ve laced it with something.” 

“We’re sharing, you tool.” Theta lay back after her.

“Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t lace my own,” She shrugged, passing it back to Theta. Koschei lay back as well, and looked between them. 

“You would.” He muttered. “Who are you even getting it from?”

“Sanfej.” Ushas explained, taking it back from Theta. 

“That’s gonna get harder when we move out.” He pointed out. Theta closed her eyes and felt the breeze over her. She was tired. 

“I’ll find a way.” Theta felt Ushas shrug against her shoulder. “Maybe I should just set up my own drug lab. We could make money with that instead of doing research.” 

Koschei hummed. 

“A wonderful plan until we get arrested and sent to prison.” 

“We’re already in one, Kos’,” she lifted her arms and waved them around, so Theta opened her eyes. “It’s called society.” 

“We’re getting out though,” Theta pointed out. “The moment we’ve got enough to buy a TARDIS, there’s nothing stopping us from leaving, and never coming back.”

“I like how you think blondie, but you have to pass your driving test to get there.”

“I’m going to pass.” Theta grumbled, elbowing her as she chuckled, “and Koschei’s already passed, so it’s fine.” 

“You’re going to let her drive?” Ushas turned to Koschei, and Theta huffed. 

“Shut up, man! I know how to drive!”

“The only reason Theta fails every time is because she leaves the handbrake on.” He scoffed a little. “She thinks it sounds cooler that way.” Koschei rolled to look at the stars, and Theta pouted like a child. 

“It does.” 

“I never said I disagreed with you, my love.” 

“I do.” Ushas looked back at her. “You know the whole point of a TARDIS is that it’s supposed to be inconspicuous. It can’t do that if it’s wheezing like it’s in pain.”

“I just like the sound.” Theta shrugged. 

“Bet the TARDIS doesn’t. How do you expect to pass your test if you keep pissing it off?”

“I’m gonna buy a TARDIS that likes having the handbrake on.” 

Koschei laughed a little, and smiled across Ushas at her. 

“Course you will.”

“I will!”

“I know!” He grinned, laying back. “I don’t doubt for a second that you will manage to find a TARDIS that likes the handbrake on.” 

“You’re on something different Theta, I swear.” Ushas rolled her eyes, and put out the blunt on the roof in between her and Theta. 

“Well have you passed?” She asked. 

“First try, baby.” Ushas grinned, propping her head up on her arms behind her. 

“Y’know, there’s probably something I’m good at that you’re not.”

“I can think of a few.” Her friend grinned. “Being a nuisance. Being a public nuisance. Being a pain in my ass. I reckon I’m better at banging your boyfriend than you.” She laughed. Theta rolled her eyes with a snort and shoved Ushas. 

“You’re a fucking liability, man.” Koschei muttered fondly. 

“Just because you don’t want to admit the truth.” 

“Shut up.” He groaned. 

“You’re just in denial.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trio content trio content


	96. Ninety-six

Theta put her books in the box, with probably too much care. But she did care about them, and didn’t want them to get damaged. After that, she put in half of her clothes, and then trinkets and little things, most of which were from Koschei, on top. Over that, she put in the other half of her clothes, to help protect them. 

That’s fit her belongings into one box, and looked around her empty dorm room. 

It would feel super weird leaving the Academy. For better of for worse that place had been her home for over a century, and honestly Theta could hardly remember a time she wasn’t there. 

Then again, she always was quite eager to forget about the barn. 

Theta wondered if there was anything she’d miss. Maybe the view. Maybe even some people, like Lareth and Sanfej. 

She wondered what they’d do now. 

She wondered if she’d ever see them again. 

Theta sat down on her bed, and sighed. 

Maybe she’d miss the smell of it. Or the comfort of routine and familiarity. That didn’t sound like something Theta would miss, but she couldn’t be sure. She’d never done anything like this before. 

She was about to be out in the wild world, with only people her age to help her. That sounded incredibly exciting to Theta, and she looked forward to it. 

It was also scary. There’d never been a time where some kind of adult hadn’t been breathing down her neck.

She wondered if she’d miss Borusa. 

She wondered if he’d visit. 

Theta got up, and crossed the room to her windowsill. She thought she might miss this. 

The red grass swaying in the wind, the breeze falling across her face. The occasional butterfly. 

Sometimes, Theta wondered if she’d ever run through those fields with Koschei again. She wasn’t sure if they were kids anymore. Theta didn’t think they were. 

Perhaps she’d wasted it. Perhaps she’d been so caught up in trying to be an adult, that she took for granted the little things. 

Theta ached for a time when things weren’t so complicated. When she and Koschei had played in the brook, and she’d gotten pond weed in her hair, and he’d laughed so much he’d cried. 

When had that changed? When had things become so much more complicated? And why did Theta always wish for a time other than the one she was in? 

She supposed she shouldn’t take for granted the time she was living in now. Theta supposed anything could happen in the future. And all things considered, her life wasn’t that bad. She had friends, a job, a home, and Koschei. 

Theta wondered, with a wince, if there would ever be a time where she ached for the days when Koschei was there. She wondered if he’d always be at her side. God, she hoped so. 

Theta wasn’t sure she could take it if he was gone. 

“Theta?” 

She glanced up, and smiled widely at Koschei. 

“Hey.”

“How’s packing going?” He asked, crossing the room and sitting beside her, as Theta gestured around. 

“I’m done.”

“Only one box?” 

“Mhm.” She nodded. 

“Mines taken me hours.” He huffed. “And I’m not done. I just wanted a break, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Oh my god,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes fondly. 

“What? It’s true,” Koschei wrapped his arms around her upper middle, and Theta smiled, winding hers around his neck. 

Koschei shifted to pulled her onto his lap, and moved to lean his back against the window sill. 

“I just wanted a cuddle,” Koschei mumbled into her shoulder, rubbing up and down her back gently. Theta smiled and squeezed a little. 

“Ok Kos’.” 

Theta held onto him and let the big softie get what he wanted, with a soft smile. 

“Do you love me?” He asked, after a moment. Theta nodded into his neck. 

“Yeah. More than anything.”

“More than the colour blue?”

“Yeah.” 

“More than butterflies?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Oh. Wow.” He mumbled. “That’s a lot of love.”

“Yeah.” Theta said softly. “But I love you that much.” 

“Thank you,” Koschei said quietly. Theta smiled. 

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Just am.” He mumbled, and she decided not to push. Theta closed her eyes and sat still, hugging him tightly and warmly. 

It felt nice. 

“I love you too.” He said quietly after a long while. “So much. More than anything in the universes.” 

“I know.” She said softly. Koschei finally pulled away, and cupped her face between his hands, pulling her in for a soft kiss. 

Theta smiled and put her hands over his wrists, as Koschei pulled back, and kissed her again. She didn’t know why this mood had come over him, as he pecked her on the lips for a further eight times, but she thought it was sweet. 

“I love you so much!” He decided to announce, and pulled her into his chest for a very tight squeeze. Theta giggled. 

“Why are you being like this?”

“Because I love you! And you’re so cute and I just want to squeeze you.” He mumbled, pressing three consecutive kisses to the crown of her head. 

“Sap.” She accused noncommittally, with a small smile on her face. 

“You’re so pretty.” Koschei chose to ignore her. “I’m so lucky. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Theta pulled herself out of his chest and looked up at him. “Do you want some help packing the rest of your things?”

“Can I kiss you afterwards?”

“If you want.”

“Ok,” Koschei stood up and pulled her with him. Theta rolled her eyes fondly at his behaviour, and followed him out of her dorm. 

-

After dinner, the gang decided to head down to the field, wanting to spend as much time out of their empty dorms as possible, for no reason other than there wasnt anything to do in them anymore. 

Theta was taking up the rear, and jumped over the fence, to find Drax waiting for her on the other side, whilst the others walked on ahead of them. 

“You alright Drax?” Theta asked. He nodded. 

“Yeah, I just wanted to wait for you.”

“Oh, thanks man.” She smiled and smacked him on the back. “You wait for people tying their laces too?”

“Course.” 

They began to wander after the others, and Theta pocketed her hands. 

“I take it you’re excited to be moving?” She asked. “You seem to have made a new best friend.”

“Jelpax, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he looked at the ground, and kicked at the long grass a little. “I really like him.”

“Drax! Do you have crush??” She hissed a little. 

“No!” He huffed, looking back up. “I’ve only met him twice!”

“Ok, ok, alright alright alright,” she observed him with suspicion. “No need to get defensive.”

“I’m not. Shut up Thee’.” He grumbled at the grass. Theta grinned. 

“Drax has a crush, Drax has a crush,” she sang, snorting as he shoved her off the path of flattened grass they’d made by walking the same way every day. 

“No I don’t!” He whined. 

“I’m not judging!” She grinned,hopping back onto the path. “You should ask him out.”

“Ive met him twice.” Drax reminded her. 

“Ok, so get to know him better and then ask him out.” 

“He probably just wants to be friends,” Drax pocketed his hands, and Theta frowned. 

“How do you know?”

“Well..I don’t, but-“

“Exactly.” She grinned, nudging him with her elbow. “Doesn’t hurt to think about it.”

“I am,” he grumbled. “I can’t stop.”

“Aw,” Theta smiled, and swung an arm around his shoulder. Drax copied her, and they kept up the path like that. “You’ll figure it out, mate. You’ve got this.”

“Just don’t tell Ushas. She’ll never leave it alone.” He pleaded. Theta nodded. 

“My lips are sealed.” 


	97. Ninety-seven

It was one of the last days they had at the Academy, and Theta was heading up the corridor. She was going to retrieve some of her confiscated items from Mrs Ethanojik when Borusa found her, and fell into step with her, much to her annoyance. 

She still didn’t want to talk to him. Theta just couldn’t shake the feeling of distrust. 

“Theta, have I done something to upset you?” Borusa asked, hands tucked behind his back. 

“No.” She said shortly. 

“Really? Because I can’t help but notice that you seem, annoyed with me. But I can’t fix the problem if you don’t tell me what it is.”

“I haven’t got a problem.” She grumbled, probably sounding a bit too annoyed. 

“Well, when you decide to tell me why you’re angry at me, despite all the times I’ve gotten you off the hook, kept you from getting expelled, lied for you to your headmaster and argued your corner even when you’re not around, let me know.” Borusa said shortly, and split off in another direction. 

Theta kept walking in hers. 

She hated when other people were right. 

And Borusa was. 

Sure, she didn’t know what his agenda was, but she also didn’t know it had ill intent. Borusa was not only just doing his job, but had gone above and beyond for her countless times. He’d even said at the start of the conversation that he liked her, and was fond of their relationship. 

Still, there was a nagging in Theta’s brain. It just wasn’t sitting right with her, and even though she knew he would, Theta didn’t like that Borusa was keeping secrets from her. 

Above all else, she didn’t understand why they were so keen to have her open. She didn’t understand why they were so keen on keeping her away from Koschei, and keeping it from being just the two of them. Maybe it was because they wanted the best for her. Or maybe it was because she was easier to keep an eye on if she wasn’t kept away with him. 

Quite honestly, Theta had had enough of throwing around guesses, and not knowing. She hated not knowing.

-

So, ten minutes later, Theta practically kicked Borusa’s door down, and stood in the doorway.

He didn’t look up. 

“I hope you’re here to apologise, Theta.” He asked, scribbling something down onto what looked like a report. 

“I’ll apologise when I’ve got answers.” She shut the door behind her and sat opposite his desk, crossing her arms over her chest. Borusa glanced up. 

“About what?”

“Why don’t you like Koschei?” 

“What gave you the impression that I don’t?” Borusa asked. 

“You just don’t, I know you don’t. You were always so keen for me to not be as close with him, to be my own person.”

“That’s not disliking him, that’s just wanting the best for you.” Borusa argued. Theta shook her head. 

“No, you don’t like him. You think he’s a bad influence on me, and you were trying to get me to make new friends and be part of the Deca, so we wouldn’t be so close. Why?”

Borusa sighed deeply, and leant back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Honestly, Theta, yes. I do think he’s a bad influence on you.”

“That’s not true. Most of the time it’s me convincing him to do shit.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he waved her off and sat forward, bracing his elbows on the table. “I just think, you can’t reach your full potential with him. You hang back for him, and you wait and you reduce yourself to his equal, but you’re not his equal.” 

Theta frowned deeply. 

“Yes I am.” 

“No, Theta. You’re more than him. You’re so much more than him.” 

“Why would you say that?” She asked, ready to come to Koschei’s defence and bite this mans head off. 

“I know you like him a lot, I know he’s your boyfriend. But you could be so much more than that, Theta. You could be smarter, work harder, be faster, and be better on your own.” 

“But I don’t want to be on my own.”

“I just think he’s holding you back from your potential,” Borusa held up his hands in surrender. “It’s sad for see someone with so much, held back by someone, just because of a crush.”

“It’s not a crush.” Theta said, surprisingly softly. She was angry, but Borusa didn’t take on board what she was saying when she yelled. “I love Koschei. More than I’ve ever loved anything, I would do anything for him. If it was a case between my life and his life, or his life and anyone’s life, I wouldn’t even stop to think. He’s the only person who understands me, and the only person who has been there with me through everything. He’s the only one who understands my pain, and the only one who can relieve it. 

‘I love him more than the universe I stand in, and if you think, even for a second, that I would choose myself, between the two of us, then you don’t know me at all. Because, I would rather be kept in a cage, and beaten like a dog for hours every day, than be without Koschei. And maybe that makes me weak, or maybe that’s a bad thing, but I don’t give a fuck. 

He, is the only person who is my equal. The only one, and he has never held me back. He’s not a bad influence. He’s the only person in the world who makes me feel like I can do anything. Koschei’s the only person who makes me feel alive and I won’t let anyone tell me he doesn’t help me. Because he’s done a damn lot more than you have, or ever will.” 

Theta stood up, and headed to the door, before turning. 

“Also, you can shove your apology, up your fucking ass.” 

And she slammed the door behind her. 

-

Maybe Theta didn’t need to be as angry as she was. But she couldn’t help it. Koschei deserved better than to be treated like he did more harm than good to her. 

He was everything to her and Theta felt like she couldn’t stand there and listen to his name being dragged through the dirt. Not when he’d done so much for her. 

It wasn’t fair. Koschei hadn’t done anything wrong, he didn’t deserve to be criticised and told that he wasn’t Theta’s equal. 

She pushed open the door to his dorm and stood in the doorway for a moment. Koschei looked up from the windowsill, and blinked in surprise when Theta crossed the room and wrapped her arms so tightly around his middle. 

“What’s wrong, my love?” He asked softly. Theta sighed. 

“I don’t get why people can’t just leave us be.” Koschei wrapped his arms around her and put a hand under her chin, tilting it upwards to look at him. 

“What happened?”

“I tried to talk to Borusa but-“ she huffed and shifted a little, pulling him close to her. “You know I love you more than anything.”

“Of course.” 

“And you know I’m your equal, don’t you?” She asked. Koschei blinked for a second, but nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

“Borusa was trying to convince me that I was better than you, and that you were holding me back. And it’s not fair because you’ve never held be back, and you’re the most kind and supportive and understanding and wonderful person I’ve ever met in my entire life and it’s not fair that-“

“Thee’,” he said gently, and she stopped to breathe. “It’s ok, my darling. I don’t care.” 

“I care!” She huffed. “Why has he made that assumption about you? He doesn’t even know you properly. He doesn’t know how amazing you are.” 

“I think I know why this has gotten to you so much, dear.” Koschei hummed, beginning to stroke through her hair. Theta frowned. 

“I just told you why it got to me so much.”

“I know that’s probably part of it, but it’s ok to say the other reason.” 

Theta looked up at him in confusion. 

“What other reason?” She asked quietly. Koschei nodded. 

“Ok, not figured it out yet. That’s ok, I’ll explain.” He sighed a little, and pulled her closer. “Thee’, you’re upset about what he thinks so much because it’s Borusa.”

“And?” She frowned. 

“And you care what he thinks because he’s a father figure to you.”

Theta felt incredibly taken aback, and shook her head.

“No he’s not.”

“Yes he is, and that’s ok. I get it.” He shrugged. “He’s the first adult to ever show any kind of trust and respect in you. He’s there for you when you need help, he listens to your problems, and he cares about them. He cares about you, we heard him admit it. Of course you’re going to form an attachment, that’s ok.” 

“I don’t have an attachment.” Theta said quietly, sounding entirely not sure of herself. Because she wasn’t. 

What if Koschei was right? What if the reason this new lack of trust had hit her so hard was because she saw Borusa as a father figure? What did that mean for her? Was it bad? 

“You do, love, and that’s ok. I understand. And of course you’re upset that he’s saying those things about me. Because you love me, and you care what he thinks. You want him to reassure you that you’re doing the right thing, that you’re around the right people. And now someone you trust has told you the person you love more then anything isn’t good for you. I don’t blame you for being upset. I would be.” 

Theta stared at the wall in front of her for a long moment, processing Koschei’s words. 

Maybe he was right. What did that mean for Theta? Was she wrong to feel like this? 

“What do I do?” She asked softly, looking up at him for reassurance. Koschei shrugged a little. 

“I’m not sure, my love. Maybe sleep on it, and talk to him tomorrow.” 

“But tomorrow’s our last day. Things will be hectic, I might not even be able to find him.”

“I’ll help you look.” He shrugged. Theta frowned for a long moment, and then looked back up at him. 

“Why do you want me to make up with someone who said those things about you?” She asked. Koschei shrugged a little. 

“Cuz I don’t care what he thinks about me. I just know that Borusa’s a good person to have on our side, he gets you out of so much shit.”

“But it won’t matter after tomorrow. We’ll be gone anyway.” 

“We’ll still work for the Academy. And you’ll still get in trouble, I bet my life on that much.” 

“Ok,” Theta nodded a little. “Do you think it’s a bad thing? To..see him as a father figure?” 

“No.” Koschei shook his head. “I don’t think it’s something you can help. As long as the relationships we have with other people don’t get in the way of our plans in the future, I don’t really think it’s a bad thing to have them.” 

Theta nodded a little. 

Koschei was right. For once. 

“Ok,” she nodded. “Yeah, ok. I’ll sleep on it.”


	98. Ninety-eight

Things were pretty hectic the next day, as Theta and Koschei navigated the halls in an attempt to find their Jurist. 

He wasn’t in his office, he wasn’t with anyone else, he wasn’t in the staff room, and they ended up just finding him walking a corridor. 

“I’ll wait here,” Koschei squeezed and let go of her hand. Theta nodded. 

“Ok. I won’t be long.” She skidded up the corridor a little, “Oi! Sir!” 

Borusa stopped and turned around, watching her come to a stop in front of him. 

“There you are, Theta. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Why?” She frowned a little. 

“Because I wanted to talk about yesterday.” He glanced up the corridor to where Koschei was waiting, leant against a wall and looking at the one opposite. “And I wanted to apologise.”

“What?” Theta blinked at him. She hadn’t been expecting that. 

“I was wrong.” Borusa turned to look back at her, and sighed. “I was thinking about it the wrong way. But now I see the truth. Koschei does make you a better person.”

“I don’t understand.” Theta shook her head a little, extremely confused. 

“Yesterday, when you got angry with me, Theta. That’s the most alive I’ve seen you look for maybe, years. And I realised, you were right. He is the only thing that makes you feel alive. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but that is the fact of the matter. You had a passion in your eyes yesterday that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen from you, and that is important. Passion is how we know we’re still alive, and still feeling.

‘And you were right. I don’t know the first thing about your relationship with him. I don’t know what he’s done for you, I don’t know how he’s helped you. It was wrong of me to stand on the sidelines and pick holes in the relationship you have with the person you love. So I’m sorry.”

Theta blinked, and waited. There must be a ‘but’, she was sure it was coming. 

Borusa didn’t say that. 

“Are you waiting for a ‘but’?”

“I mean, kind of. Yeah.” She nodded. 

“There isn’t one. I was in the wrong, and I own that.” Borusa shrugged. Theta stared at him for a moment. 

She wasn’t sure what to say. No one apart from Koschei had ever apologised to her before, especially not an adult. It didn’t feel right. She was always the one in the wrong when it came to adults, wasn’t she?

“I think you might be the first adult to have ever apologised to me.” Was the first thing that blurted out of Theta’s mouth. 

“What? After everything we’ve done to you? That’s not right.” Borusa sighed. “I’m sorry for that as well. Since it’s your last day, I might as well get it out into the open. 

‘I think the way you’ve been treated here is appalling, Theta. You never got any compensation or support after the murder allegations. Your teachers have never cut you any slack, when clearly there’s a lot more going on in that head than you just choosing to be disruptive. The Instructor had no right to say what she did about you, and treat you like she did. If I was Mr Delathorpo, and she treated one of my students like that, I’d have her fired, immediately, and I think it’s disgraceful that he didn’t. You deserved better than the treatment you got Theta, and I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier to help you. We failed you.”

Theta thought she might cry. She didn’t want to cry, but she could feel the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. 

It was all she’d ever wanted to hear. 

It made it feel like for once, it wasn’t her fault that those things had happened to her. Like she’d done everything right, and things had still gone wrong. It felt so good for an adult to admit that they had failed her. 

The doubt washed away, and she wiped her nose on her sleeve. 

“Sorry,” she muttered. 

“No. I am.” Borusa said quietly. “Truly, and honestly. And I want you to know that you can still talk to me, even when you’re working for the Deca. It’s just a walk to my office, and you’ll be coming here to give us your findings frequently enough. Think about it, at least.”

“I will.” She nodded. Theta knew there was probably laws against it, but it was her last day, and she didn’t really give a shit anymore, so she closed the gap and hugged him tightly. 

Borusa tensed a little, before putting one arm around her, and patting her on the back. It was a little awkward, but Theta didn’t mind. 

She felt recognised. She felt cared about, and to her that was pretty hug worthy. 

Theta pulled back and nodded. 

“I guess I’ll see you around, sir.”

“I’m sure you will, Theta.” He nodded. 

She turned back to Koschei, who was watching the conversation from afar. He pushed off the wall and opened his palm up. Theta bounced back up the corridor and took his hand, glancing back over her shoulder to see Borusa watching. He rolled his eyes fondly, and turned back up the opposite way. 

“That seemed to go well.”

“Yeah.” She smiled a little. 

“Happy?”

“Mhm.” 

-

“Alright, the big question.” Ushas declared, as Theta and Koschei glanced at each other in confusion. “What, will be our parting gift, to this shithole that we call home?”

“Hmmm,” Magnus hummed in thought. “We could, trash someone’s office.”

“Burn the library to the ground.” Drax suggested. 

“No!” Mortimus and Theta both scowled at him, and he put his hands up in surrender. 

“Damn, ok.” 

“We could steal something.” Koschei put forward. 

“Like what?” Ushas asked, from her elevated position half way up the tree they always sat in the shade of. Theta wasn’t sure why she was up there, she supposed it might’ve been to make her announcement more dramatic. 

“Something important.” He shrugged. “Files, or-“

“We could steal something personal.” Drax interjected. “Like Delthorpo’s glasses.”

“Bit tricky considering he’s got those on his face all the time, Drax.” Mortimus rolled his eyes. 

“Ok,” the other huffed. “The dudes got to have something personal in his office. How about be just go in and find something, decide what we’ll steal once we’re in there.” 

Theta and Koschei glanced between each other. They knew what was in there, and really, Theta didn’t feel like trying to explain what had happened when they were in there the few nights before. 

“Let’s do it.” Ushas grinned. 

-

They slipped into Delathorpo’s office when he was taking an assembly for their year. 

The five of them began to root around, Mortimus preferring to take watch at the door. 

It didn’t take long for Ushas to crack open the files and read hers. 

“Wha- reckless driver??” She huffed. Theta laughed at her. 

“Ha! And you were going on about how good you are at driving.”

“Shut it blondie, at least I’ve passed my test.” Ushas scowled at her. Theta pulled a face at her and turned back around. 

“This drawers locked.” Magnus pointed out, pulling on the drawer in Delathorpo’s desk. “Could be something good inside.”

“There’s not.” Koschei put forward, before Theta even opened her mouth to speak. 

“How do you know?” Magnus frowned. 

“Theta and I came in here the other night, to steal something. I opened it, there’s just a spare pair of glasses in it. Not worth the time.” 

“Totally is. He won’t be able to see.” Magnus pointed out. 

“Yeah, apart from his other pair that he never takes off. Oh he lost his spare pair, how inconvenient.” Drax teased. “Come on man, you can do better than that.” 

‘Why are you covering for me?’ Theta asked silently, rooting through a bookcase with Koschei at her side. 

‘Figured you could do without questions you don’t know the answer too.’ He shrugged. 

‘Thanks.’ Theta sent across a wave of gratitude, as Drax whistled. 

“Look at this.” They turned to see that he’d pried open another drawer, this time continuing an old looking letter. 

That was weird. People hardly sent letters when they could telepathically communicate. 

“What is it?” Theta asked. 

“A letter.”

“Yes I can see that, what does it say?” She rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t know. I don’t recognise the language.” Theta frowned and crossed the room, taking the ancient letter from him. 

“Huh.” He was right. It wasn’t in circular Gallifreyan, and Theta had no idea what it said. 

Koschei followed her, and peered over her shoulder. 

“That’s ancient Gallifreyan.” He nodded at the writing, and Theta glanced back over her shoulder at him. 

The other three crowded round the letter, even Mortimus. The others were too busy staring at the paper to tell him to keep watch. 

“Why would someone write a letter in ancient Gallifreyan?” Theta asked. 

“If you didn’t want other people to know what it said.” Ushas guessed. 

Drax pointed to the only part of circular Gallifreyan on the page, at the bottom of the paper. 

“Look. This letter’s from Rassilon.” 

All five other pairs of eyes shot down to read, and re-read the name at the bottom of the page. 

“Holy fuck.” Theta whispered. 

“How is that even possible? He’s been dead for thousands of years.” Mortimus frowned. 

“This letter must be bloody ancient.” Magnus shrugged, taking it carefully from Theta. “We should take it, and translate it.” 

“Won’t be notice it’s missing?” Theta frowned. 

“Most definitely. But he won’t know it’s us if we get out of here right now.” He shrugged. 

That seemed like a good enough incentive to her. 

The six of them quickly put everything back the way it was when they came in, and slipped out of Delathorpo’s office, deciding to head back to the dorms with the letter to discuss where the safest place to keep it was. 

Theta lead the six of them up the hall, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, considering the fact that they were definitely supposed to be in an assembly. 

“Excuse me!” They suddenly heard behind them, and the six of them turned to see Mr Lenkatha hurrying towards them. He didn’t look happy. 

“Go, go go go go.” Ushas hissed, and the six of them took off down the corridor, snorting and laughing as they ran from their teacher. 

Theta skidded around a corner, only to see Mrs Ethanojik frowning at them. 

The others skidded into her as Theta turned. 

“Back the other way!” She shoved her friends away from her as they kept sliding into each other, and after a bumble, they all went back the way they’d come. 

However, Mr Lekantha was closing in from that side, so they stopped dead, and looked around for an escape. 

Then Koschei grabbed her hand, and yanked her into the room behind them. 

“Get in here!” He hissed, and the other four followed quickly. 

Of course they were in the boiler room. Luck seemed to be on their side. 

Koschei gave Theta a leg up first, and she shoved open the skylight, hauling herself onto the roof and helping Ushas up after her. 

Magnus held the door shut as the two women helped up Drax and Mortimus, before helping Koschei up. 

“Just let go and jump for it, Mag’, we’ll catch you!” Ushas grinned. She looked incredibly exhilarated. 

“Ok,” Magnus swore under his breath, before letting go of the door and leaping up to the hands at the skylight. 

They yanked him upwards as their professors burst through the door. 

“Get back here now! All of you!” Mr Lekantha scowled at them. 

Theta just closed the skylight in his face. 

The six of them began to wander over the roof, Drax and Mortimus hanging at the edge and looking down at the world below. 

“How did you two know there was a skylight in there?” Magnus asked, trying to catch his breath. 

“We used to come up here to skip class. But when you lot came we told you we went to the field instead. Didn’t know wether we could trust you with our hang out yet.” Koschei explained, pocketing his hands. 

“I knew you two had secrets.” Ushas rolled her eyes. 

Theta and Koschei glanced at each other. They didn’t say anything. 


	99. Ninety-nine

After dinner, Theta and Koschei split off from the others, and went for a walk. 

They wandered, hand in hand, through the fields, neither of them saying much. 

It was strange to think this might be the last time Theta ever walked through these fields. 

She’d been looking at them through her window for almost one hundred years, and had felt the grass underneath her fingers for most of it too. 

The two of them ended up in the field they used to play tag in, sitting down on the ground. 

The two of them were completely shielded by the grass around them, and Theta felt like they were in their own little world again. 

She lay down, and closed her eyes, Koschei following suit. 

“Do you think they’ll have as many insects as they do here?” Theta asked. She felt Koschei shrug beside her. 

“I don’t know. I hope so, for your sake.”

“Thanks.” She said quietly.

The breeze moved the grass around them, and cooled her face. 

She sighed. 

Maybe she’d miss parts of it. Maybe she’d miss this. 

Maybe she’d miss how easy it was for the two of them to slip away together. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. 

“I think I’m going to miss these fields.”

“Me too.” Koschei decided, taking her hand. Theta opened her eyes and glanced at him, blinking a little. “I love you.” 

“I know.” She said quietly. “I love you too.”

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted Theta, and you’re going to own my hearts, for all my lives.” He smiled, rolling over to brace his elbows either side of her head. Theta grinned. 

“What? All twelve?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. 

“That’s a long time to try and not get bored of me.” She laughed, winding her arms around Koschei’s neck and pulling him closer. 

“Will you?”

“Will I?” She asked. 

“Love me for all of your lives.”

“Course I will. I’m just not gonna say it out loud, cuz I’m not a big sap.” She teased with a smile. 

“Ok, don’t say it out loud then.” 

He had her there. 

With a fond sigh, Theta rolled her eyes and looked at him. 

‘I promise I’m going to love you for all of my lives.’ She put forward. Koschei smiled widely and leant forward, kissing her gently. 

Theta smiled and sighed contentedly into it, kissing him back slowly and fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“You’re such a sap Koschei,” she muttered fondly. 

“Maybe you’re not enough of a sap.” He shrugged. 

“Sure. Maybe.” She kissed him again, and Koschei smiled, before pulling back just enough to look into her eyes. 

“Thee’,” he said gently. “Do you know how proud of you I am?”

“For what?” Theta frowned a little in confusion. 

“For being so strong. For being so smart, and fast, and kind. For working things out on the fly when you needed to, for saving my ass a thousand times over, for putting yourself on the line for me. Thank you.”

“It’s ok.” Theta shrugged a little. It wasn’t really a big deal. It was just what had to be done at the time. I was just doing what I had too.”

“No one has to do anything. You chose to do those things and I have such respect for you for doing it. You’re a force of the nature you love so much, Theta, and I’m not sure anyone’s going to ever be able to take that away from you.” 

“I hope not.” She smiled genuinely, and pulled him down into a hug. “I adore you, Koschei. More than the ground I walk on.” Theta said quietly. 

“I know.” He said, after a short pause. “I think that makes me the luckiest person in the universe.” 

Theta groaned fondly, and lightly flushed, suddenly incredibly grateful the hug was hiding her face. 

“Do you ever stop?” She laughed. 

“No, and you can’t stop me either.” Koschei pulled back to cup her face in his hands, where he left small kiss after kiss to her lips. “I’m so glad you stopped me from killing that butterfly, my love.”

“What? Because you like butterflies or because you like me?”

“I was going with the liking you one, but I get the feeling you want me to say it’s because I love butterflies and would never want one to die.”

“Yes please.” She nodded.

“Right, ok, yeah. That’s definitely the reason.” He laughed. Theta scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Well, you’re welcome. I’m glad I stopped you from killing the butterfly too.”

“I get the feeling it was for the butterfly’s sake?”

“Primarily, but you’re alright to have around too.” She teased with a grin. 

“The amount of disrespect,” he feigned annoyance and Theta grinned, leaning up to peck him on the lips. 

“I just said you were the love of my lives!”

“No you didn’t, you couldn’t even say it out loud!” Koschei teased, clearly not actually annoyed by it.Theta rolled her eyes and pushed up on his arms, flipping the two of them over and grinning at him from her new spot above him. 

“I’m waiting for a special occasion.” She argued. 

“What kind?” He frowned, playing with the hair that was falling from her face. Theta shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Just when the time comes.”

Koschei opened his mouth to say something, before his gaze was caught behind Theta’s head, and he pointed up at the sky. 

“Butterfly.” 

Theta turned away from him to look at it, and Koschei took the opportunity to pin her to the ground again. 

“God dammit!”

“You’re so easily distracted, my dear, it’s endearing.” 

“No I’m not!” She huffed. “I just like butterflies.”

“Really? You hadn’t mentioned.” 

“I’ll kick you in the bollocks in a minute.” She threatened. Koschei grinned at her. 

“You don’t scare me, darling.” 

Theta hooked her knee over his hip and managed to get enough leverage to flip Koschei back over into the dirt.

“I should.” She smiled widely. 

“Why?” Koschei was clearly amused. 

“Because I’m the scariest thing around.” She grinned. 

“Mm, yeah. And I guess the scariest thing around curls up into a ball when she sleeps, enjoys reading about animals and likes it when she gets her hair played with?” 

“Shut up!” She groaned indignantly. “I could beat you in a fight and we both know it.” 

“Alright, alright, I yield.” He grinned. Theta smiled and pulled him up with her, as a colder breeze blew over the field. “It’s getting late, maybe we should head back.” 

“Alright fine. As long as you hold me whilst I curl up into a ball.” She scoffed. 

-

“Koschei?” She asked quietly, in the darkness of the night, whilst he ran his fingers through her hair absently.

“Theta?” 

“Are you scared to leave the Academy? Even a bit?” She asked. He hummed for a moment. 

“Maybe a bit. Why? Are you?” 

“Just a bit.” Theta nodded. 

“That’s ok though. I think we’re all probably a bit scared. Change is hard.” 

“Mhm.” She hummed. “But we’ll still have each other, so it can’t be that bad.”

“Exactly.” Koschei nodded. “And maybe we can push the two single beds together so we have more space. And we can put all of our things together in one room, and we’ll share the same view. We’ll get up whenever we want, and go to bed whenever we want. If you don’t want to work one day, you won’t have too, and nobody will have a go at you. We won’t eat with hundreds of people in a loud hall anymore, and we’ll be able to cook what we want to eat. And when I buy my TARDIS, if you and I fancy a little trip somewhere, we’ll go, and no one will be able to stop us.” 

Theta smiled at the thought of it all, and looked up, pressing a small kiss to his jaw. 

“‘Sounds almost too good to be true.” She murmured. 

“It’s not. We’ve got the greatest deal ever here, Theta. And I’m excited to be going into it with you.” 

“And I’m excited to be going into it with you.” 

“So it’s ok to be nervous. Because the bottom line is, we still have each other. And we always will. As long as we’re together, we’ll be ok. We’ll get by.”

“Ok,” Theta closed her eyes. “Ok, I believe you.” 


	100. One hundred

Theta stood in front of her window, and watched the grass sway in the wind. 

She felt the breeze over her face, and sighed contentedly, watching the waves of red move with nature. 

Koschei appeared, coming out of the bathroom behind her, and putting a hand on the small of her back. 

“Are you ready?” He asked. 

She glanced at him, and nodded. 

“I think so.” She glanced back out of the window. “No, I am.” 

“Let’s go.” He took and squeezed her hand, Theta closing the window with the other, and following him across the room. 

She turned and looked back at her old dorm room one last time. 

So much had happened in such a small space. Good and bad. One hundred years squeezed into a box room, with two people squished onto a single bed. 

But yes. She was ready to go. 

So she turned, and closed the door behind her. 

-

The other four, and Borusa, met the two of them at the tram station. 

The walk there, through campus had been an odd one. It was quiet, and everything looked different to when they’d first arrived at Upper. Since then, it had been in the crossfire of war, and had become warped and mutilated. 

Theta didn’t think she’d miss it much. Maybe just some of the people. 

Lareth and the others had gone back to their homes the day before, straight after the assembly. Theta thought she might miss them. Maybe she would visit them. 

“Are we ready?” Borusa asked, when Theta and Koschei finally arrived. 

“Is our stuff already in the tram?” She asked, and he nodded. 

“Yep. All labelled too, so no need to worry about getting things mixed up. If we’re all ready, let’s get going.” He stepped onto the tram first, the other six following. 

Some spared a look back.

Some didn’t. 

Theta sat beside Koschei, and watched the Academy, as the tram started up to move. 

She didn’t feel all that much, and she wondered wether that was because of how much it had hurt her, or because her real home was still sat right beside her, holding her hand. 

-

The journey out to the house was now a known one, that took just under an hour. 

There was idle chat on the way there, but no one talked about anything too important. It was mostly Drax just trying to get under Ushas’ skin, and succeeding. 

Eventually, it slowed to a stop, the house visible that half a mile away again. 

The six of them stepped off the tram and opened up the luggage compartment. 

It would take several trips. 

The next hour was spent ferrying boxes to the house, and putting them in the right rooms. It was hard work, but Theta didn’t mind. It gave her something for her legs to do, and in a way, calmed her nerves. 

She noticed the other four were yet to arrive, which she supposed was probably a good thing, because it was already way too chaotic. 

Drax was failing miserably to put the boxes in the right rooms, somehow, which meant Ushas had been having a go at him for forty minutes. 

Mortimus and Magnus were getting on with it quietly, apart from the fact that the latter kept tripping the former up, just for comedic purpose.

Theta and Koschei ended up doing most of the work. She would grab a box, and either speed walk or jog over to the house, depending on if there were fragile items in it or not, for Koschei to put in the right room, since Ushas and Drax were now not working, in exchange for having an argument. 

Borusa was looking on in disdain. 

Eventually, however, they managed to get it sorted. Magnus split up the fight, and the two of them ended up sitting on opposite sofas, quietly scowling at each other. 

Theta wondered if it was going to be like this all the time. 

They gathered in the hallway to say goodbye to Borusa, after he’d made sure they were alright, and had everything they needed. 

“Thanks for helping us out today, sir.” Magnus said. 

“It’s alright, it is my job. I imagine this won’t be the last time I see you, but may I just say, you have been an absolute displeasure to teach.”

“Stop, I’ll get emotional.” Drax grinned. Borusa rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll see you all soon.” 

“Bye sir.” Was the general chorus, and he glanced at Theta, who nodded at him. 

He smiled, like, actually smiled at her, and closed the door. 

“I’m starving. Manual labour is hard.” Drax announced, heading into the kitchen. Magnus followed. 

“Manual labour my ass. All you did was yell at Ushas.”

-

The other four got there about two hours later. 

“Hi all!” Millennia chirped, and Theta jumped up from the sofa to meet them in the hall, followed by the others. 

“Hey!” She smiled. “Do you need some help with your things?”

“You couldn’t, could you?”

“Yeah course.” 

With all ten of them working on it, their things were settled into their rooms in five minutes flat. 

The other four said goodbye to their Jurist, who they seemed to want gone, and collapsed into the seats in the living room. 

“So,” Rallon spoke first, looking around the room. “I suppose it begins.”

“It does indeed.” Ushas drawled, flicking something she seemed to have found upstairs in the lab between her fingers, with her legs thrown over the arm of a chair. 

“So, are we really just left to our own devices?” He asked. 

“No.” Vansell finally spoke up. It was the first time Theta had heard him speak. His voice was a little bit nasally. “We have three days to settle in, and then they’ll send us our first assignment.”

“God, don’t even get a weeks holiday.” Ushas muttered. 

“Well we won’t all be working at the same time.” Mortimus pointed out. “We’ll be on a router type thing. And we won’t always all be here. Some of us still have to take our driving tests and stuff.” 

“I feel like that was aimed.” Theta pouted at him, and he laughed. 

“Don’t know what you mean.”

“We’ve got to figure out what to do around here when we’re not working.” Magnus pointed out. 

“They’ve got to have some alcohol somewhere around here.” Ushas muttered, jumping up. “I’m raiding the cupboards.”

“Wait for me!” Jelpax grinned, Drax jumping up and following them. 

“I didn’t realise our lives revolved around alcohol.” Vansell muttered, and Rallon scoffed, nudging him from where they were sat on one of the sofas. 

“Lighten up Van’, it’s just banter.”

“I’m not sure I’m a fan of banter.”

-

“Theta,” Koschei beckoned her over to the windowsill, as she entered their bedroom. She headed over, to see him sat in front of a butterfly. She sat beside him, and smiled at it. “Is it ok? I can’t tell.”

“Hm,” she moved to sit on the floor to get a better look at it, narrowing her eyes at the Orange blow tail Monarch. Then she nodded. “Yeah, it’s ok.”

“That’s good. I was just worried, cuz it was sat here for a while, and I didn’t know if something was wrong.”

“No, it’s ok.” She smiled, happy that she’d taught him better than to assume the worst, and act with impulse. “It’s half way through it’s life.”

“How can you tell?” 

“Because as it grows, it gets more and more spots on its wings, and then, as it gets older, it loses its spots again. So you can tell, cuz it’s covered in spots at the moment.”

“Huh.” He nodded. They watched as the butterfly took off into the orange landscape beyond the house, and Theta smiled, moving to sit on the windowsill. “You ok?” He checked. 

“Mhm. Excited. Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good.” She smiled. “Let’s do this then.” 

“Together?”

“You know it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end of Like Butterflies!  
> But don’t panic!! The story is far from over.  
> I thought, since our favourite idiots are starting a new chapter of their lives, it’s only right I start a new fic. I wouldn’t want this one to get overwhelmed with chapters (more than it already has), so there will be a sequel, coming very soon!  
> I’ll probably take a tiny break before starting it, cuz yall know I crank out chapters like clockwork, and I think I deserve it lmao.  
> I want to thank you all so much for the support you’ve given me with this. It’s what keeps me motivated, and keeps me going. It means the world that people actually like my writing, and I want to thank each and everyone one of you!  
> So yeah, see you soon, the idiots will be back I swear 🥰❤️
> 
> Edit: Hi everyone,  
> I thought, with everything going on right now, I would jump on here to use my small platform, and tell you to be safe.   
> Stay educated, and stay informed, things are crazy right now and you have to know what’s going on.   
> Dontate where you can, spread information, do your research.  
> Stay safe, stay informed, and fight for what’s right.   
> No justice, no peace.


End file.
